Her Teacher's Temptation

by Vos, Alexandra

  “Oh, really?” Her tone had turned distasteful, which is almost what I’d expected. “Did you just research it a lot, or was it from experience?”

  “Erm, from experience,” I admitted, glancing at Annabel, who looked fairly happy about this conversation. Ollie had done plenty of drugs by the sound of it. I wondered if Jemma knew that.

  “It seems a bit excessive, to do a drug like that just for a writing competition,” She commented with a frown, taking a bite of the unfulfilling salad she’d ordered.

  I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’d done the LSD before and when I saw the prompt I just thought of it. The other way round probably would have been excessive.”

  “Isn’t that a bit dangerous? Do you do drugs often?” She queried further, as Ollie appeared to be dying to interrupt the conversation.

  “I don’t do them often.” Which I didn’t, I wasn’t an idiot. “And you can’t die from doing LSD. There’s basically no bad side effects of just doing it once.” I explained seriously. “Unless you go overboard with the amount and have a really bad trip, I guess.”

  “I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for a reason.”

  I scowled. “Well, I don’t know why, considering that it’s significantly better for you than drinking alcohol and smoking is.” I was sorely tempted to gesture to her glass of wine – her second of the evening – but I resisted.

  Jemma returned a glare at me. “I don’t know why you think you know more about drugs than the people who set the laws.”

  “I don’t know why you’re pretending to have an opinion when you clearly know nothing about it,” I retorted, narrowing my eyes. Annabel covered her mouth to hide a smile and Ollie looked like he’d rather be anywhere else right now.

  “I’m going to use the bathroom. It looks like you need to calm down,” she stated, standing up and straightening her expensive skirt.

  Annabel looked particularly smug as she stood up. “I actually need the toilet too. Be right back.”

  I was reluctant to turn around and face Ollie’s disapproving glare. “This wasn’t my fault,” I complained. “She definitely started it. She was rude to me first, I’m sure I haven’t just imagined that.”

  “Couldn’t you have just been the bigger person? You must know how awkward this is for me already.”

  “You didn’t have to invite me,” I shot back. “I gave you several opportunities to say no.”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “I know. But I really didn’t think either of you would kick off. In fact, I thought it was more likely to be Annabel that said something.”

  “I’m sorry.” I apologised, unsure how sincere it really was. “I didn’t want to make it even more awkward for you, but she did deserve it.”

  Ollie chuckled. “And it was quite amusing.”

  I watched him carefully as he took a long gulp of his beer. “Why did you invite me?” I questioned. “Literally nothing good could have come from this. Even I feel guilty sitting here, like, I don’t know, I didn’t think I would.”

  Ollie rested his chin on his fist and avoided my eyes. “Actually, it was a pretty shitty thing to do. I can’t really explain without sounding like a complete dick.”

  My eyes widened slightly. He really did have an ulterior motive.

  “Well, you have to try now. Tell me.”

  “Because I wanted to see whether I actually liked you, when I could directly compare you to Jemma, or because I liked the idea that I couldn’t really be with you, because you were there and you were hot.” His cheeks flamed. “Sorry, that sounds really awful, I should have just said it was for Annabel’s benefit.”

  “Huh, that is a pretty shitty thing to do. So, what conclusion did you come to?” I had to ask, even if I was mildly offended by his reasoning.

  “What conclusion do you think I came to?” He muttered, taking another long gulp as both of our cheeks turned the same shade of red. So Ollie really did like me. I wasn’t sure if I was over the moon, or it was a harsh kick in the gut that it could never happen between us.

  I didn’t have time to think too long though, because Annabel and Jemma returned. I prayed that I didn’t still look too flushed, but Annabel’s curious glance made me think I probably was. “Sorry for being rude,” I forced myself to say to Jemma. I wasn’t sure if it was because I wanted to relieve the tension, or because I wanted to reaffirm what I assumed was Ollie’s view that I was the better person.

  “It’s fine.” Jemma assured me, surprising me slightly. “I always like people who can accept when they’re wrong.” I had to really bite my cheek at the implication she was making in her snotty voice so that I didn’t snap at her again.

  Annabel and Ollie looked seriously impressed that I managed to stay quiet and I was absolutely grateful when we could leave. As much as confirming that Jemma was indeed awful and that Ollie apparently did like me, it didn’t really solve any of my problems. I still couldn’t have him. I was just going to be thinking about him, if possible, even more now.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “You’re looking particularly happy today,” I teased Meg as she slipped into the chair beside me. I only realised afterwards that I might only be reminding her of why she wasn’t always on top of the world lately. This was the last lesson of the day, Meg had free periods this morning, so it was the first time I’d seen her.

  She grinned wider at me. “I’m feeling it. And I have something to tell you.”

  I raised a curious eyebrow. “Go on.”

  “I might be kind of seeing Rob,” she confessed, beaming. “Well, I mean, we like hang out a lot together and we sleep together. I think we’re kind of friends with benefits,” she explained further, bouncing up and down in her seat slightly. “I know it’s kind of stupid, since I actually really like him, but it’s better than nothing, right? And we’re friends, so I’m not sure whether he like likes me or not.”

  I had to chuckle at her enthusiasm. “Sure. It’ll probably work out fine. So, tell me what he’s like?” I prompted, glancing at the clock and realising that Ollie was uncharacteristically five minutes late.

  “He’s amazing,” she gushed. “He’s so nice to me all the time and we just get on so well. There’s always something to talk about and we watch films and listen to music and everything. And obviously the sex is amazing. And he’s just really brilliant.”

  “Wow,” I replied, trying desperately to keep the scepticism from my voice. That all seemed a bit too good to be true. “He sounds amazing.” Meg giggled and that was when I cottoned on. "You're high," I accused, really hoping that she was going to find some way to tell me I was wrong.

  "Maybe," she drawled with a smirk. "You should try it sometime. It makes school way more fun."

  I sighed. I guess I couldn't convince myself that it had just been a coincidental few weeks in a row that Meg had gone out and gotten high. "Yeah," I tried not to show how worried I was. There was no point in ruining her mood now. My thumbs hurt from so much twiddling.

  I wasn't sure if Meg was doing so many drugs because of this Rob guy that she was seeing, or if she was seeing him because she was doing drugs so often. Either way, I didn't think he was a good influence. He probably had no idea about the problems in her life right now.

  It had only been a month since the night we'd gone out and I felt sure that she'd done it every weekend since then. Did that mean she was addicted? Or just was she making the choice to do it because she was miserable the rest of the time?

  Whatever the case, this definitely wasn’t a good thing.

  Thankfully Ollie entering the room stopped me having to converse with Meg any more. I just hoped she wouldn't make it too obvious that she was completely out of it. Ollie sat down at his desk with tired movements and big black circles under his eyes. Was I allowed to stay at the end and ask what was wrong with him?

  I was surprised by how normal Meg managed to act throughout the lesson. Though her tapping became increasingly irritating and she kept attempting to talk to me in wh
at wasn’t quite quiet enough of a whisper, she managed to answer any questions Ollie gave her without looking out of the ordinary.

  At the end of the lesson, I realised that I really didn’t want to go with Meg. It felt awkward being around her when I was tempted to explain what an awful decision she was making the whole time. “I just have to stay and talk to Ollie about something,” I excused myself with a small smile.

  “No problem,” Meg beamed. “I’m going to meet Rob anyway. He’s picking me up.”

  I forced out a smile. “Okay, well, I’ll see you later then.” Meg pulled me into an unexpected hug and I feared for a moment that she might kiss me on the cheek or something.

  Ollie gave me a wary look when I approached his desk. “What’s up?”

  I ran a hand through my hair. “Can I ask you about something? I don’t really know who else to talk to.”

  Ollie actually looked nervous and I realised it would have been better to just come straight out with it without the build-up. “Sure.”

  “I’m worried about Meg. She was high just now. That’s like, really bad, right? What am I supposed to do about that?”

  “Wow, I’m really not observant. Out of all the teachers I should really be the best at noticing stuff like that.” He rolled his eyes, before calming down to the gravity of the situation. “But wow, I mean, I don’t know what to say. You think she might be addicted? It’s bad, if she is. I mean, it can really mess up your life. And we’re talking ecstasy, right?”

  I sighed heavily and nodded to his question. “I don’t know, I mean, I think she’s on the road to, if she isn’t already. She’d never normally do something like this.”

  “Does this have something to do with the day I let you skip school?”

  I supposed there was no point in keeping that a secret anymore and besides, I really did trust Ollie, even though really I didn’t even know him that well. “Her mum has breast cancer. And yes, I think it has everything to do with that.”

  Ollie ran a hand through his hair and stayed silent for several minutes, looking up at the ceiling whilst I decided I may as well take a seat on top of one of the front desks. “Have you tried talking to her about it?”

  “No.” It sounded awful to say it. “I didn’t think it was a good idea right now since she’s still kind of out of it,” it was a poor excuse for me having ignored the situation for this long. “I don’t even know what I’d say.”

  “Just be honest with her,” Ollie advised. “And realistic. Don’t just tell her to stop going out or anything. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m going to be very helpful. Even though I’ve always done this kind of thing none of my friends really got addicted.”

  “It’s okay,” I gave an unenthusiastic chuckle. “I’ll figure something out. Are you okay, by the way? You look kind of rough.” I wondered if I was overstepping the mark asking him something like that. But I’d decided we were friends by now, and I was just looking out for him.

  He looked like he was debating whether to actually tell me or not. “I told Jemma that I cheated on her,” he finally blurted, averting his gaze.

  My eyes widened. That hadn’t been what I’d expected. I’d pretty much decided that he was never going to tell her and they’d be together forever, even if he’d admitted he liked me more. “What did she say?” From the mood he seemed to be in, I had to presume that she hadn’t taken it well.

  “She was okay with it,” he confessed, standing up and beginning to pace. “I mean, well, when I say that, she was angry, obviously, but she basically said that it was okay, that we all make mistakes and that she thought we could get past it.”

  “What’s the problem, then?” Surely it had worked out perfectly for him.

  “I don’t know!” He exclaimed. “I don’t know why I think that’s a bad thing. Maybe it’s that I think she can’t really care if she’s willing to dismiss it that easily. Maybe it’s that I was kind of hoping she’d just leave me. I don’t know, but it’s just put me in this really awful mood.”

  “She was probably just trying to put up a front for you,” I attempted to reassure him, though again I wasn’t sure why. “I mean, she seems like the kind of person who wouldn’t want you to know that you’d hurt her, but she’s mature enough to look past it, or something.”

  “Maybe,” Ollie agreed. “For some reason that still doesn’t make me feel any better, though.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Maybe you should just break up with her then.” I told him bluntly, saying what I actually wanted for the first time. I knew my tone had been bitter, too, and I quickly regretted it when Ollie fixed me with a surprised glance.

  “Maybe.” He repeated. “I don’t know what to do.”

  I made myself laugh. “I guess we’re not going to be much help for each other, then.” I hopped down off the desk I’d been perched on and Ollie finally ceased his pacing. “I think I’m going to get going and think about what I can say to Meg tomorrow.”

  “Do you want a lift?” He checked, gathering his own papers up and struggling to fit them all. “You normally get the bus, right? And I’m going to Jemma’s anyway.”

  I hesitated only briefly before accepting. “You look like you need some help carrying things anyway,” I teased with a small smirk.

  “I didn’t tell her it was you,” Ollie told me when we’d set off driving, after checking no one had witnessed me getting into his car. It was bad enough having these feelings at all, but rumours definitely wouldn’t help anything. “I just told her it happened when I went out that time I ran into you. I couldn’t exactly tell her I went out in Newcastle.”

  “Maybe that’s another factor, then,” I suggested. “If she thought it was quite a while ago. And I’m glad, because she really does tip me well, even if she’s rude to me.”

  “Perhaps. Anyway, I don’t really want to talk about it anymore. Have you heard back from any universities yet? Actually, have you even sent off your application yet? Which universities did you apply for, and what courses?”

  “I sent it off this weekend. I applied for Law, to Leeds, Nottingham, York, Newcastle and then Keele as my back up,” I ticked off the five I’d made. “I guess it’s just waiting now then.”

  “Which is your favourite?”

  “Actually, I haven’t really been to any open days. I didn’t want to pester my mum since it was when Lily was really small when most of them were happening last summer. Plus, I’m probably just going to Nottingham anyway, since it’s closest.”

  Ollie frowned. “You should go and look round them. I think they probably have some open days coming up. I’ll take you if you can’t get there any other way. You can’t pick without having been to them.”

  My eyes widened at his offer. “Thanks!” I couldn’t stop myself from beaming at him. “I wouldn’t ask you unless it was as like a last resort,” I assured him. “But I might, if I can’t get somewhere, or the trains are too expensive. I don’t mind paying you for petrol.” I chuckled. I had a feeling he wouldn’t be impressed by the idea of taking me to Newcastle again, though.

  “Okay, well, look at their websites and let me know if you want me to become your personal taxi,” he teased.

  “I will, don’t worry.”

  “And you should try looking online for stuff about Meg. There’ll be tons of people who have been through similar stuff. You can talk to me about it if it doesn’t improve, though, I don’t mind.”

  I gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Ollie,” I murmured. “That actually makes me feel a bit better about it. I’m sure I’ll be able to talk to her.”

  “Good luck.” He supplied as we pulled up beside my house. I really hoped that my mum wouldn’t make the random decision to come outside. I didn’t want to have to explain this to her.

  I chuckled. “And good luck with sorting your problem out, too.” I really hoped he settled on the breaking up with her option. “Thanks for the lift.” Undoing my seatbelt, I gave him a final smile before shutting the door and watching as
he drove down the street, only to pull up again outside his girlfriend’s house. I wondered if Jemma would care that he was offering to drive me to universities. She probably wouldn’t care. He was only being friendly, after all. I was the one who’d established us as friends.

  But he was the one who’d said he liked me. On two occasions, now, too. I supposed I couldn’t kid myself into thinking he was just my friend any more. We were just in the kind of awkward phase of knowing we liked each other without being able to do anything about it. We were pretending to be friends when there was obviously something more there.

  Sighing heavily, I pushed open the door and was met with a surprising amount of noise. Two voices, one of them my mum’s, were shouting loudly, but I could barely hear that over Lily’s loud crying. “I don’t want you to see her!” My mother exclaimed as I pinpointed their voices to the kitchen. “I just want to keep living my life the way it was. You don’t even know she’s yours!”