Starseed

by Gruder, Liz

  Kaila turned out the table lamp. In the dark, her thoughts looped like speed cars around a racetrack. She thought of Jordyn, how cute he was, how she loved it when he studied her like she was the only person on the Earth. She thought of the others, how odd, yet how smart they were.

  Wait a minute.

  She recalled that creepy feeling when Echidna took her hand and insisted they be friends. Maybe she just didn’t know how to act. There was something else, but Kaila could not recall. Well, forget it then.

  Kaila thought of Melissa, recalling when Melissa first smiled at her and knowing they might become best friends. And Pia, when she said they’d have to hang out.

  She thought of Paw Paw, how nice he was to take her shopping. She thought of her new outfits and imagined wearing them.

  “You must quiet your mind,” she heard in her head.

  “How? How do I get rid of all these thoughts?”

  “Acknowledge the thoughts and tell them to go,” a voice deep in her mind answered. “Imagine your mind is the space between words. Just emptiness, then you will sleep.”

  This was like what her mother said when she taught meditation during yoga. But this wasn’t her mother’s voice. Kaila imagined the space between words in a sentence and focused on the emptiness. Exhausted, she welcomed the emptiness, darkness, and lack of thought. She slipped into unconsciousness.

  The night sky held a new moon; its absence akin to the emptiness of the eyes in statues. Outside, the horses whinnied in the barn.

  Darkness enveloped Kaila’s bedroom. Though the balcony doors were shut, the damask curtains rustled as they lifted. Lucy and Woofy lifted their heads. Low, guttural growls emitted deep in their throats.

  The dogs stood with lowered heads at the balcony door, growling. Outside, in the night, an owl called.

  Kaila sat up in bed. She thought she heard the rocking chair creaking on the balcony. But it couldn’t, for the night was still. Adrenaline darted through her veins, bringing her wide awake. Again the owl shrilled.

  Something was outside on that balcony right next to her bed. She could feel its unseen presence. Then, the balcony door opened. It was so dark she could not see. The dogs frantically ran outside on the balcony, growling and snapping.

  Fear invaded Kaila like fog as the balcony door opened wide. From the dark, something flew toward her, but she couldn’t discern what. Her eyes strained in horror as she flattened herself against the headboard. As it hovered over her, she saw that it was an owl. She gasped. The owl’s eyes were fiery orange with black dots as pupils. Its large round eyes fixed upon her. Once she looked, she was paralyzed. Her mouth hung open, but she couldn’t scream. Her heart skittered like a scurrying mouse.

  Then, the dogs on the balcony went silent. The horses quieted outside. The tree frogs and crickets went dead. Everything had gone completely silent. An odd energy filled the room. A buzzing sound filled Kaila’s ears.

  The owl’s orange eyes loomed two inches from hers, staring at her above a thin, pointed beak. Though terrified, Kaila could not move or scream. She could not break gaze with the owl, who commanded sleep.

  She tried to struggle, to fight, but could not. She fell back on her pillow, unconscious.

  Chapter 4

  The owl’s fiery orange eyes locked her, carrying Kaila from the outer world to another. Now that she was unconscious and floating in another realm, Kaila realized that the owl’s eyes were actually Jordyn’s and that it was he floating in this darkness before her. His silver bodysuit clung like a second skin to his body. They floated in vast space. A far-off star twinkled. They traveled toward that star.

  Jordyn took Kaila’s hand with his three long fingers. His hand transmitted a strange but exhilarating charge. Now, she felt no fear. She had dropped off a precipice into another place and time.

  “It’s unnatural you sleep with this wrap on your head. Take it off, you will feel more like yourself,” Jordyn said.

  Submerged in an abyss of space, Kaila was aware of her physical hand in an unseen place, removing the plastic from her head. It felt better to have her real hair loose on the pillowcase. No crinkly, suffocating plastic! It was but a flicker of a thought, and then, like water on a match, the thought extinguished as she dropped further into space.

  “We are glad we met you,” Jordyn said. His lips didn’t move; he spoke with his mind. His voice sounded deep and cavernous.

  “I feel the same,” Kaila said with her mind.

  “It’s easier and freer to communicate this way,” Jordyn said.

  She sensed him absorbing her as they floated.

  “We learned much today from mind-scanning you. And thank you: we learned a lot about how to talk out loud using your language.” In the darkness of space, pinpoints of light from a star reflected off his silver jumpsuit. “We like you, Kaila.”

  As Kaila and Jordyn floated, they neared the distant star shining from the deep space of the universe. The burning star’s warmth enfolded them. Kaila thrilled to the touch of Jordyn’s hand, feeling the conduit of his energy passing to her and her energy passing to him.

  “Where are we?” she asked.

  “In dreams, the veil is lifted. You’ve traveled here many times. Do you remember?”

  Kaila dimly remembered, so like a dream she once had, but upon awakening, only knew that she had dreamed. All that remained was a residual knowing. And below her restlessness, ever seeking though unaware of it, rippled that ceaseless yearning to return home.

  “But we are so far away.”

  “Here, then,” Jordyn said. He drew her close. Space blinked.

  Then, in a moment, they hovered above a planet.

  “What’s that?” she asked.

  “Venus. Closer to Earth. You feel safer now?”

  Kaila marveled at the rugged, orange planet etched with ridges, mountains, and craters. Melted ground shimmered around a large crater, for Venus was hot, close to the sun.

  “The highland area at the equator,” Jordyn pointed, “is Aphrodite Terra. Do you remember Aphrodite?”

  Kaila scanned her memory. Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation.

  “Ah, you remember,” said Jordyn. His face and body appeared red-orange in the fierce glow emitted from Venus. “We are the gods and goddesses, Kaila. Know that, remember that. And now, here, before me, is Aphrodite reborn.” Jordyn stared at Kaila earnestly; his fingers tightened over hers. “She was quite beautiful, as you are.”

  Kaila flushed; no one had ever told her she was beautiful. She faced Jordyn, whose eyes again looked like an intelligent owl’s with immense black pupils. His eyes devoured her every nuance. She felt inexplicably drawn toward this boy-man, wise beyond his years. She wanted to dive deeper into those unfathomable eyes. She sensed if she dropped into those eyes she’d travel through a portal into the beyond, some place like she hovered in now. She would face herself, through him, realizing union and home.

  “We are not all human,” Jordyn spoke to Kaila’s mind. “We are a blend of human and what you call alien—beings from another place in the universe. This is what makes us special. And what makes us different. You are like us, Kaila. This is why we feel connected from the moment we meet. You’ve always felt different—and lonely—we know. We understand.”

  They floated in space, between Venus and the sun. Kaila’s heart glowed, warm as that sun. He knew her; he understood her. She projected gratitude out from her mind and heart. Here, now, she knew the heart and the mind projecting out to its intended source formed a triangle.

  “A triangle is powerful,” Jordyn said. “If you combine the energy of your heart with the energy of your mind and project intention out, you have magic that no other creatures in the universe can emulate.”

  He faced her, caressing her warm hands as they floated. She felt dazzling energy emanating from the middle of his chest and from the space between his eyes.

  Then, she felt her own heart and mind forces tunnel
ing out to Jordyn. As their energies touched, they ignited blissful sparks. Their bodies vibrated and shimmered. They were enveloped in a golden field that merged to one synchronized vibration.

  “This is incredible,” Jordyn murmured. “We never felt this before.”

  They held hands, basking in the warmth of their combined energy, radiant with golden light while floating peacefully in space.

  Kaila grew overwhelmed; the sensation was so powerful, she felt like a supernova just prior to its luminous explosion, scattering across the universe. She averted her gaze to the dormant volcanoes jutting from Venus’s rugged surface.

  “We are going to tell you some things,” Jordyn said. “You will not remember them all, but you will soon. Do you trust us?”

  She nodded. Inside, fireworks of bliss erupted, more joyous than anything she’d experienced in her entire life.

  “I’ve flown in my dreams before,” Kaila said. “Now I fly with you. This has to be a dream.” She rested her head on his shoulder, compelled toward him, as a moth flies toward the light. “A beautiful dream.”

  Jordyn drew her closer. His arms felt warm and strong.

  Every cell in her body vibrated. The vibration felt warm and fiercely alive. As Jordyn held her, they merged to one blissful energy field. No words existed to describe this incredible joy.

  Kaila realized then that her heart had opened. In this break in time and space, without judgment or constriction, she loved with every beat of her radiating heart.

  Simultaneously, she felt a blacking out and everything receding. The edges of Jordyn’s spiky hair softened, the outlines of his shoulders and thighs blurred. He was evaporating to nothing.

  “Wait!” she called. “Don’t leave.”

  “Less emotion,” Jordyn counseled. “Emotions confuse and make you less powerful. We have to maintain control.” He closed his eyes as if trying to suppress something foreign and alien rising within himself.

  “Is that really true?” Kaila wondered as blackness engulfed her.

  “If you remember anything,” Jordyn said, his voice trailing away. “Remember this: you are much more powerful than you know.”

  The iPhone chimed an alarm. Kaila sleepily gazed at the wooden slats draped with white eyelet on the canopy. What had she dreamed? Something about an owl. Or was it Jordyn? She sighed, feeling soft and languorous with the thought of him.

  The phone chimed again. Kaila sat up in bed. She hadn’t time to think of owls. She had to hurry or she’d miss the bus.

  She dressed and applied her new makeup. Wow, now this looked good. She was transformed, like a magazine model with her cute black skirt, hot pink blouse, and violet eyeliner. Stupid wig, though. She sighed, loathing the binding black plastic and artificial blonde hair. She put on a black headband to match her skirt.

  She cocked her head. Something scratched at the balcony door. She ran to open the door. Lucy and Woofy raced inside. How on earth had they gotten locked on the balcony?

  The dogs wagged their tails as she petted them. Lucy barked at Kaila.

  “Quit,” Kaila said, breezing past Lucy. “I don’t have time.”

  Kaila ignored Lucy’s persistent barks as she leaned over the wrought-iron railing in the morning humidity, peering out to the fields. Her mother, Mike and Nan were out there inspecting the grasses. From up here on the second-story gallery, Kaila saw an odd shape had been molded or cut in the grass. It was a circle near large as the old house with a cross attached.

  As Kaila approached her family examining the grasses in the field, her mother shouted, “Kaila, go on in to breakfast.”

  No, Kaila thought. She would not be protected like a kid anymore. She joined her mother, stepfather and grandmother who stood with folded arms as they peered at the flattened grasses.

  “It is not a crop circle, Lee,” Mike said. “All that stuff is bogus.”

  “Grasses don’t flatten into shapes on their own,” her mother countered.

  Kaila bent, touched the grass. Each blade bent perfectly straight. A gigantic circle and attached cross.

  “Jeez,” Mike said. “All this talk of aliens and crop circles is ridiculous.” He turned to Kaila. “I bet you a thousand to one there’s some boy who likes you and is trying to impress you.”

  Dew glistened on the bent grasses in the rising sun.

  “And look at you, all dolled up,” Mike added. “Yep,” he said, guiding Lee and Nan. “Let’s get back to the house and get this girl to school. From the way she looks, I guarantee we have a whole lot more coming.”

  In a flash of clarity, Kaila realized Jordyn had come in the night. She and he and this grass thing were connected … somehow. A veil was lifting.

  “Don’t worry, Mom,” Kaila said. “This is the sign for Venus. It’s a hoax. Nothing from outer space would make something like this.”

  Her mother clutched her baseball cap tightly on her head.

  “See, I told you,” Mike said, his arm draped across Lee’s shoulders. “What’s next? Boys serenading outside the house?”

  “Well, I think it’s a strange way to romance …” her mother’s voice trailed off.

  Kaila stared at the morning dew on the bent grasses. She smiled, recalling that the symbol of Venus was the sign of love.

  “Kaila! Back here!” On the school bus, Kaila spotted Melissa and Pia sitting in the back.

  “Look at you,” Melissa said, her long dark bangs swept at an angle over her face.

  “You look hot, girl,” Pia said. She had gel in her auburn hair. She wore an orange t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and Converse shoes. “You get a makeover last night?”

  “I was feeling like a hick yesterday. So my grandfather took me to the mall.”

  “Be a hick,” Melissa said, smiling. “We don’t care.”

  “Just don’t be a poser,” Pia warned.

  “Is that bad?” Kaila asked.

  “Little Miss Innocent,” Pia said, squeezing Kaila’s shoulder. “Have fun, be yourself. And that’s exactly what you’re doing. So that’s cool.”

  Kaila smiled back at Pia. It felt good to have friends.

  Pia blew a huge pink bubble of chewing gum. Too much to resist, Kaila popped the bubble gum on Pia’s nose and lips.

  “Okay,” Pia said, peeling the gum from her nose. “Not so innocent after all.” She balled up the gum and pried open Kaila’s lips. “But now you’re gonna eat it!”

  “Stop!” Kaila said, laughing.

  Too late. The gum was in her mouth. She pulled the gum from her mouth and tried to push it into Pia’s. Pia curled her lips over her teeth and lowered her head, shaking with laughter.

  They wrestled, Kaila saying, “Take it, take it!” while Pia shook her head.

  “It’s goin’ up your nose, then,” Kaila cried.

  Pia snatched the gum and threw it. The gum splatted against a window two seats up and stuck. People turned around and looked. Kaila and Pia ducked, laughing until they cried.

  When the bus pulled into the parking lot, Kaila was dying to go to the back of the school. She inexplicably longed to be with Jordyn. She knew she had dreamed of him, but she couldn’t remember much other than it felt good to dream about him. She sensed there was something poignant to reclaim like a beautiful melody she’d heard and forgotten.

  She explained to Melissa and Pia that she had something to do.

  “Hey,” Pia said, wagging her finger, bracelets jangling. “You can’t fool us. We know what you’re up to.”

  “We’ll go with you,” Melissa said.

  So, the three girls trudged to the back of the school where it was humid and hot as all Louisiana August mornings. Kaila was unused to wearing heels and worried that they might get muddy.

  “Oh well,” Pia said once they turned the corner. They were greeted by nothing but the hum of lazy, chirping crickets. “No aliens. Strike three.”

  Yet Kaila knew they were coming. She sensed the invading energy. Gooseflesh rose on her arms. She faced out t
o the back field with the rising sun and modular units as Pia and Melissa faced her. Behind them, the six aliens appeared, seemingly from thin air.

  They stood in a line, their silhouettes blocking the sunlight. Kaila recalled Jordyn’s voice in her dream. “Less emotion.”

  He observed her with large golden eyes, a sun god emerging from the skies.

  The six wore the same clingy silver overalls with different colored tshirts beneath.

  In a split second, they formed a semi-circle around Kaila, Melissa, and Pia. Melissa and Pia’s jaws dropped. As quickly, Echidna stood in front of Kaila. Her hair was the same: black, shiny, straight to her chin with bangs framing her black spider-like eyes.

  “You changed,” Echidna noted. She evaluated Kaila’s heeled shoes then put her beautiful face near Kaila’s. “Why would a female choose to wear ladders on her feet? Do they not hurt?”

  “Leave her be,” Jordyn said, stepping between them.

  “No,” Echidna said pushing him aside. “Kaila, explain. Why do females choose to lift their feet unnaturally and hurt the arches in the feet?”

  Kaila looked at Echidna, uncertain if she felt true curiosity or pure animosity.

  “I guess to look pretty?” Kaila replied, feeling stupid. She hadn’t planned on this. She wanted to be alone with Jordyn.

  “You can play the boy-girl game later,” Echidna said impatiently. “But, how does hurting your feet make you pretty? And why do you wear this fake hair and plastic on your head? Aren’t you hot and sweating under this terrible sun?”

  Dimly, through her confusion and racing heart, Kaila was aware that the boy called Toby was talking to Melissa and the girl called Antonia was talking to Pia. Had they heard Echidna’s comment about the wig? Please, no. She didn’t want that all over the whole school. She glanced furtively at Jordyn. Echidna looked at Jordyn and Kaila sensed that the two were talking silently.

  As another veil lifted, Echidna and Jordyn came into sharper focus. Jordyn and Echidna were communing silently just like she had with her dog Lucy last night. She realized then that what she did with animals was what they did with each other.