I blink at him. “Thanks for saying that. I can’t tell you how much that means to me, especially after the year I’ve just had.”
“Will you tell me about it?” His voice is quiet, but I love this newfound connection and openness between us.
Despite everything that just transpired, I have to chuckle. “I don’t think I can handle any more crazy-ex stories for today. But I will another day, if you still want to know.”
“I’ll take anything you’re willing to share. At least I won’t be the only one with a crazy ex then.” He winks at me, making the suppressed butterflies in my stomach stir again.
“Oh, don’t you worry, I certainly got you covered.”
He picks his fork back up and plays with it. “So, friends, huh?”
Nodding, I give him a small, uncertain smile.
When I look at him, it’s hard to remember why I’m putting on the brakes. But all it takes is one thought about Addy and the things she might still bring upon Hudson, and therefore possibly people close to him too.
He spreads one of his hands out wide to stretch before relaxing it. “I’m not even going to pretend I’m happy about it, not after everything I just told you. But I understand it and respect your decision. Just know I’m right here, waiting for things to go back to normal. Because the second we’ve got this whole chaotic mess off the table, I want us to pick up right where we left off.”
“Thank you, Hudson.” My voice is quiet but strong. Despite this annoying situation—or maybe because of it—I’m grateful for his reaction.
His fork lands in a piece of lemon pie. “We better get going if we want to finish all of this today. Want to eat some more cake with me now?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Mira, could you please hold still for a moment so we can get this over with? I love you very much, sweetie pie, but sometimes you drive me crazy.”
Gathering another ounce of patience, I tackle her again, trying desperately to change her diaper—which is easier said than done. Babies at this age are so active, it’s ridiculous sometimes. Even being still for two seconds is too much to ask.
“Ma-ma, ma-ma.” She gives me a big toothy grin when I hand her yet another toy, hoping that’ll keep her occupied long enough this time.
A soft chuckle makes me lift my head, my eyes immediately trained on the open door without taking my hands off the little wiggle ball in front of me.
“So young and so much trouble already, huh?” Hudson’s voice sounds raspy, like he just rolled out of bed and appeared in my doorway—which is actually a possibility. He’s casually leaning against the doorframe, his arm and chest muscles on full display in a snug light gray T-shirt.
I’m so distracted by him I realize, too late, I loosened my grip on Mira enough for her to flip over. She’s using this moment of freedom to her advantage, crawling off to Hudson as fast as she can—her diaper hanging awkwardly off one side of her little booty.
What can I say? That was all I managed to secure before my thoughts went on a field trip to Hudsonland—the one I tend to get lost in so often.
Chuckling at Mira, he bends down to pick her up. “Good morning, you little rascal. Are you giving Mommy a hard time?” She’s so excited to see him, she keeps hitting him on his shoulder. After snatching her little hand and pretending to eat it, much to Mira’s delight, his eyes lock with mine. “Want some help?”
“Gosh. Yes, please.” I half-groan, earning another amused chuckle from him. The closer he gets, the more Mira squirms in his arms, probably knowing what’s about to happen. At least she’s happy to see Hudson, squealing louder by the second—especially when he talks.
Looks like we both have a thing for his voice.
Sitting down on the plush cream carpet next to me, he lays Mira down in front of us before picking up one of the toys from the floor. He shakes it in front of her, and she’s smiling up at him with a big, goofy grin.
Completely mesmerized by him.
That’s pretty much the only thing I notice since I’m attempting to win my own battle over here—trying to ignore the skin of our naked arms almost touching. On top of that, the scent of his signature aftershave infiltrates my senses, making my body almost hum in appreciation.
How can a scent do something like that?
No, Charlie, stay strong. You wanted to be friends for now, remember?
If it was just that easy.
I should have known better, should have expected this to be a lot harder than I anticipated.
I mentally shake myself out of the haze I’m in, putting in some extra effort to focus on the task at hand.
Rubbing my hands together, I peek over at Hudson. “All right, let’s do this. You entertain her while I close that diaper and put on her leggings, okay? You’re captivating enough, so I should get it done quickly.”
He looks at me like he’s trying hard not to laugh. “Am I now?”
“Are you what?”
“You said I’m captivating.”
“No, I didn’t.” Crap. I totally did. “I mean, I said it, but I didn’t mean it like that. What I wanted to say was that you’ll keep her attention well enough, like a good toy.”
Oh no. Abort mission, abort mission.
I think the close proximity of him has made my brain malfunction because that definitely wasn’t the right thing to say either.
This time, he bursts out laughing, not that I blame him. He probably thinks I’m a little nuts this morning.
“Wow. You’re really good for my ego.” He turns to Mirabelle. “Did you hear that, sweetie? Your mama thinks I’m a captivating toy.”
I close my eyes. How embarrassing.
Why does everything this man says sound like it’s interlaced with sex?
Or maybe that’s just me, faltering under this extreme tension between us.
Poking him in the arm, I can’t help but laugh too. “I didn’t say that, stop it.” I touch one of my cheeks to find it as hot as I thought it was. “Let’s just forget about it and get this done.”
“Oh, trust me, I will remember this forever.” He winks at me, and I’m powerless against the flutter in my rib cage in response to his teasing.
It’s been getting harder and harder with each passing day to stay strong, and it’s only been a week since we had our “friends talk.” Maybe it’s time to admit I’m a sucker when it comes to him. He’s different than any guy I’ve ever met before, but I’ve known that for a while.
By now, it’s useless to deny my weakness for anything Hudson.
I guess you could say he’s my flavor.
Doing the right thing feels more like torture than anything else. Real painful torture that leaves me sleepless at night. And when I do finally fall asleep, I wake up in the middle of the night, all sweaty and tangled up in my sheets. I’m not sure that’s the right solution either because there doesn’t seem to be any doubt as to what my body and heart seem to want. My brain, on the other hand, is still trying to hang on to the control—even though that might not be more than a thin thread by now either.
Hudson’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts. “What are you thinking about so hard?”
He’s studying me intently, lifting one of his hands slowly up to my face.
“Please, don’t.” My voice is quiet, and I close my eyes, knowing it would only make things worse if he touches me right now.
Pulling his hand back immediately, the corners of his mouth turn down into a sad frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. You don’t. But it’s already hard enough without you touching me.”
He nods, even though I’m not sure he understands what I’m talking about. I leave it at that, though, not seeing a point in explaining it any further, spiraling myself deeper into this misery. The fact is, nothing has changed with the whole Addy debacle, and that’s what I need to focus on.
Lying down next to Mira, he stares up a
t me. “Let’s just get your little stinker here ready, okay?”
This time I nod, happy for the diversion. All week long, we’ve turned into masters of distraction, pretending as best as we can that we’re doing all right with this unfortunate situation. “Sounds good.”
After that, we make quick work of Mira, and once she’s all done, I let out a big breath. “I didn’t know they would be so much work at such a young age already. That was quite a reality-shock when I figured that out.”
“I can imagine, but you’re doing such a great job. Mira is thrilled to have such an awesome mom—no doubt about that. She wouldn’t be this beautiful little person without you as her mom.”
His words hit me so deeply, I have trouble breathing for a moment. I avert my eyes away from his, because there’s no way I can keep the emotions out of mine. His words mean more to me than I could ever tell him—despite the fact they’re also incredibly bittersweet to hear.
“Thank you.” Fanning my eyes, I try hard to laugh it off instead of crying. “I guess I’m a little emotional this morning.”
Sitting up right away, he ducks his head to catch my lowered gaze. “Hey, I’m sorry. Is everything okay? Did I say something wrong?”
He doesn’t know he hit a nerve, but I’m not sure he’s ready for my story yet—or rather, I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell him yet. Instead of explaining anything from my past, I chicken out. “No, I’m all good. Sorry. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”
“Nothing you need to apologize for. Why don’t you go and get ready while I stay here with Mira. Take your time and try to relax some, all right?” He grabs a few blocks and stacks them up in front of Mira.
I’m confused by his statement. “Do I need to get ready for something?”
Hudson chuckles and points to my head. “Not really. You can stay like this all day long if you want, I don’t mind one bit.”
My hand reaches up, immediately feeling the thick towel still wrapped around my hair. “Oh goodness, I completely forgot about that. I really think I’m losing my mind.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got your back. Now go, we’ll be fine.”
Hudson is such a natural when it comes to Mira. The two of them play together all the time, and it’s actually become one of my favorite things to do—watching these two together in the living room while I bake in the kitchen. Hudson’s repertoire of nursery rhymes has expanded quickly, much to Mira’s delight, and they enjoy each other’s company tremendously.
“Thank you, I’ll be right back.” After giving Mira a quick kiss, I rush out of the room before I do something silly like bend down to kiss Hudson too. Even though he does deserve some sort of reward for all his help. Life without Hannah and him—heck, without this whole family—would not only be ridiculously lonely but also incredibly listless.
Not only does Gabe check in with me constantly, getting everything ready for Monica’s impending arrival, but even Hudson’s sisters have already told me they consider me a part of the family. I can’t remember ever having so much love and support surrounding me, which can be quite sobering at times—yet it also endlessly warms my heart.
Just like Hudson told me, I take my time to get ready. It doesn’t sound like much, but sometimes even taking five more minutes without checking on your baby every two seconds feels like a game changer.
When I get back to Mira’s room, the two of them are crawling on the floor, both of them laughing. It feels like months, rather than days, since we had our friends talk, and the more time passes, the harder it seems to get for me. My strength to resist Hudson is tested on a daily basis, especially in situations like this where he’s playing with my little girl like it’s the best thing in the whole world.
I mean, come on, is there anything hotter than a guy being adorable with a baby?
Hudson looks up when I walk in. “Was that you taking your time? I really meant it, you didn’t have to rush. You know I don’t mind playing with this little bugger here.”
Mira stops mid-crawl and turns around to look at me. She’s happy to see me, but at the same time, it almost looks like there’s a little bit of accusation in her eyes too.
Which is nuts.
Or maybe she wanted some more alone time with the hunky rockstar.
Get in line, kiddo.
I give her a big smile that she returns before I focus back on Hudson. “I know you do and I really appreciate that. We’re a bit in a hurry, though. There are some important deliveries coming in at the bakery today. The opening is only a few weeks away now, so things are starting to get a bit more chaotic.”
He sits up. “Why didn’t you say so? Let me grab my things, and I’ll come with you.”
“Thank you. Are you sure?” Taking a deep breath, I try to find the courage to say what’s on my mind. “Would you mind meeting us there? I... I just don’t think it’s a good idea to be seen together in public right now.” His face visibly falls at my confession. I feel horrible, absolutely terrible, but I needed to say it.
More and more paparazzi have come to town this week to get a look at their rockstar. I’m not worried about being seen with Hudson, per se, but I am worried about what that would mean for his ex. The last thing I need in my life is the kind of drama, or worse, she’d bring with her.
Bottom line, I’m scared out of my mind—like “wanting to pack my things and move back to New York” scared. “I’m really sorry.”
He shakes his head but avoids my gaze, and I’m starting to feel a little sick. “Stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. I really understand why you’re doing this. I’m not a hundred percent sure how far she’d go either, so I’d rather be safe than sorry too.”
“I wish things could be different.” I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to say but it is the truth.
He stands, bringing Mirabelle with him. “Trust me, me too.” After handing me my baby, he walks over to the door. Before he leaves, he turns around, looking at me for a long moment. “I’m going to fix this, I promise. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay? Bye, baby girl.”
I nod at him and then he’s gone. For some reason, I suddenly have a bad feeling in my stomach, really hoping he isn’t up to something.
After grabbing everything we need, we head downstairs into the kitchen to eat something before heading out. I’m surprised to see Hannah sitting at the bar, sipping a cup of tea. “Oh, hey. I thought you were going out with the other ladies this morning.”
“Hey, girls. I’m going to leave soon. You know how they are, always running late.” She tickles Mira for a moment before I put her down in her bouncer.
I turn on the music and give her a teether from the freezer, all the while feeling Hannah’s gaze on me. When her eyes meet mine, there’s something in her gaze I haven’t seen before. It almost feels like she can look straight into the deepest corners of my soul. She gives me a warm smile, reminding me so much of my grandmother that my heart aches a little.
Brushing a strand of hair out of my face, I suddenly feel very raw and vulnerable. “What is it? Is everything all right?”
“I’m good, if that’s what you mean.” She takes a deep breath and leans my way. “You know, I usually don’t like to put my nose where it doesn’t belong, but it seems like things have gotten a little out of control. Charlie, he might not always do the right thing, but just know his heart is in the right place.” Without mentioning Hudson’s name, we both know she’s talking about him, so I nod. “His life is anything but easy with being in the public eye so much, but he’s a genuinely good guy, one of the best I know. And you, my friend, you more than deserve a good guy.”
My chest actually hurts from her words. “Hannah, I—”
She shakes her head and stands up. “No, you don’t need to explain anything to me. I know you’re scared after everything that happened. I get it, I really do. And there’s a lot happening right now. All of this drama surrounding his career and private life is exactly the reas
on why I never tell anyone who my grandchildren are. It puts so much pressure and prejudices on them, which I don’t think they deserve. But anyway, just think about it. I have to run now, or I’m going to be the one late this time and will never hear the end of it. You guys have a good day, okay? Call me if you need anything.”
With that, she’s out the front door, leaving me alone with my jumbled thoughts and a rockstar to meet at the bakery.
Chapter Sixteen
“Charlie, where do you want these?” Gabe is barely visible when he walks in the back door of the bakery, a stack of boxes piled up high in his arms.
I rush over, ready to help. “Just over there on the counter, please.”
After putting all the boxes down, he looks at me and shakes his head. “How does she sleep in this chaos?” He points at Mirabelle who is strapped to my back in a carrier.
I chuckle and peek over my shoulder. “I have absolutely no idea. Sometimes the noise actually seems to be soothing. Go figure. Seems like it’s just one of those things. Some babies sleep through everything while others wake up from the slightest noise.”
“Babies are such a mystery. Good thing they’re cute.” He’s looking at her with a smile on his face. From the looks of it, the whole Mitchell family is a little baby crazy, but I’ll keep that fact to myself.
The oven beeps, and I walk over to turn it off, taking the baking sheet full of apple cinnamon muffins out to slide it onto the counter. I point my oven mitt at Gabe. “They have to be cute, or we’d all be extinct, trust me. Remember those words for whenever it’s your turn.”
“Yeah, thanks.” He looks a little uncomfortable, and I have to chuckle. It’s actually pretty adorable.
I press my lips together to keep from laughing. “Gabe, are you still in the phase where you love babies as long as you can give them back after a while?”
His cheeks turn slightly red. “I guess so.”
I clearly embarrassed him and feel a little bad about it. “Nothing wrong with that. You’re only a year older than Hudson, right? You still have plenty of time.”
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