RAW: THE ULTIMATE MC COLLECTION

by Palomino, Honey

  “Twenty-two,” she replied.

  “You have any family?”

  “No. My mother…she…she sold me to Monty when I was sixteen. I haven’t seen her since. I don’t know where she is,” she replied, her voice breaking.

  “Jesus,” Slade said under his breath, shaking his head.

  “I’m so sorry, Lacey,” Grace said. She was in the front seat, sitting next to Ryder as he drove us back to the clubhouse.

  We had managed to slip away easily. A quick confirmation that Patterson’s driver was enthralled in the book he was reading let us drive right past him, with Lacey concealed in the back, without raising any alarms.

  “Thank you,” Lacey whispered, her voice small and quiet next to me.

  “Why don’t you try to get some rest, honey?” Grace said to her. “It’s about three hours to the safe house.”

  “Okay, sure,” she replied.

  “You can put your head on my shoulder, if you want,” Slade said. I caught his eye and glared at him, a silent warning for him to remain on his best behavior.

  “What?!” he exclaimed, glaring back at me. “We didn’t bring any pillows!”

  “That would be nice,” Lacey replied, gingerly leaning on his bony shoulder, and closing her eyes.

  I turned and looked out the window, marveling once again at what my life had become.

  Ten years ago, I spent every waking moment in the ring. Boxing was the only thing I cared about and it consumed me with a burning passion that ended up eventually burning all my dreams to the ground.

  Sometimes, you can want something so much that it destroys you.

  I had started boxing in the Army. I joined up when I was seventeen, lying about my age, wanting to do anything to get away from my alcoholic father. My mother had left us alone together years ago, and I can’t say I blamed her. He was impossible to live with. I was finally tired of cleaning up after him, worrying if today was the day I was going to find him dead when I woke up each morning, and trying to get him to eat. I felt guilty about leaving, but if I didn’t leave then, I knew I never would. I wanted a life of my own.

  At first I was just a cook, but then I saw how they treated the boxers. They were the rock stars of the Army. They got special meals, didn’t have to work, and spent all their time training. They even got special living quarters. After a year of breaking my back in the kitchen, I went down to the gym where they trained and started hanging around, just watching on my free time.

  Soon, I was itching to get in the ring, and the coach decided to give me a chance. He put me in the ring with a very fast, very sweaty, incredibly strong, well-seasoned guy, but I stood my own, even if he did get a few punches in. I was quick and light on my feet, and I fell in love with it right then and there.

  Afterwards, the coach would let me spar every time I showed up, and when I started showing up every night, he told me I should talk to my sergeant about boxing full-time. Surprisingly, my sergeant was receptive, even if the rest of the guys in my barracks were pissed with envy.

  Suddenly, I was the golden boy. But I didn’t give a shit about any of that. All I wanted to do was fight.

  I spent all my waking hours either training or fighting, obsessed with trying to make weight, trying to improve, sparring with bigger and badder guys until I had honed my skills so well that I finally got my first real fight.

  That night came and it was like I had finally found my purpose in life. I was strong, clear-headed, practiced and ready. My opponent was a corn-fed Midwestern boy that had been fighting for years. He was a strong opponent, but by the time the first bell sounded, I had tunnel vision. The crowd melted away, my past melted away, and I had only one mission.

  I wanted a knock-out. Nothing else would do.

  I came out of the corner, dancing and swinging, my enthusiasm only serving to add to the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

  He hit me hard right away, and I stumbled, but stayed up, kept my wits. We tangled together, over and over, the ref pushing us away from each other repeatedly, as we tried to get our punches in.

  I took a few steps back, and faked him out. I came in strong, with a brutal upper cut, hooking him just under the chin. I hit him hard, loud, the crack jarring me, vibrating pain through my fist and up my arm.

  He went down fast, collapsing in a heap.

  Hard.

  Cold.

  Knocked-out.

  My hands flew up over my head as I cheered, but I quickly realized something was wrong when the ref called for the medic.

  The medic kneeled over him, checked his pulse, shook his head.

  He was dead.

  I had fucking killed him.

  I was fucking devastated.

  I was just a kid, killing someone was the last thing I wanted to do. Sure, in the back of my mind, I knew that joining the Army would increase the possibility that I might have to do that very thing. But I wasn’t ready. Not yet. And when I saw what it did to this guy’s family, his friends, I felt awful for them. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know them.

  I fell into a deep depression, following in my father’s footsteps, and quickly turning to the bottle, doing my best to kill myself, too.

  It didn’t work.

  All it did was get me kicked out of the Army, and then I just hit the streets of Portland, hanging with the wrong crowd.

  One day, I ran into my childhood friend, Slade, downtown. He told me about the Gods, introduced me, and before I knew it, I was prospecting with Slade.

  They became the family I never had.

  The family I needed.

  A true brotherhood that I never would have found on my own.

  They saved my life.

  And now, here I was, trying to pay it forward.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Lacey

  The bumping woke me up. I raised my head and looked around, seeing nothing but a bumpy dirt road and tall, towering pine trees on both sides.

  “Where are we?” I asked Riot, who was sitting next to me, looking stiff and uncomfortable.

  “Our clubhouse,” he replied.

  “Our?” I asked.

  “Yes. The Gods of Chaos MC,” Slade answered. He sat next to me, all sprawled out, his arm slung around my shoulder.

  I shifted in my seat, inching away from him, but as I moved closer to Riot, Riot moved away from me.

  I stiffened, the awkwardness unbearable.

  “What’s an emcee?” I asked.

  “M.C. Stands for motorcycle club,” Riot answered, his gaze fixed out the window as he spoke.

  “You’re a motorcycle gang?” I asked, the high-pitch of my voice startling me. I cleared my throat.

  Nobody answered.

  What had I gotten myself into?

  They sat silently beside me, all of us staring out the windows as the van wound its way down the curvy road. Finally, we pulled up to a run-down cabin, or more accurately - a ramshackle mess. Dozens of motorcycles were parked along the front.

  “Motorcycles,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “Yep,” Slade said. “You ever been on one?”

  “Um. No, I can’t say that I have,” I replied. My mother would never have let me risk a scar by getting on one of those. Besides, it wasn’t high-class enough for her. And Monty was far from the biker type.

  “Well, you’re in for a treat,” Slade replied, winking at me. Riot groaned beside me, and I caught him glaring at Slade again. Slade shrugged, slid open the side door of the van, and hopped out.

  I stepped out onto the dusty ground and felt the crunch of gravel and dirt beneath my feet. I inhaled deeply, my senses assaulted by the heady scent of pine. No other buildings were to be seen, and not a soul was in sight.

  “Everyone’s out on a job today,” Ryder said, he and Grace appearing beside me as I stood looking around. It was quiet, tranquil.

  “You’re completely safe here, Lacey,” Grace’s gentle voice was reassuring. I wasn’t sure about the whole motorcycle thing. From everything I ha
d ever heard about bikers, I understood they were just a bunch of outlaws.

  You killed Monty, a voice in my head reminded me.

  Right.

  I’m an outlaw, too.

  As if being Monty’s prostitute wasn’t enough, now he had made me a murderer, too.

  I sighed, and turned to Grace. I had to trust them. Every one of them. They were all I had now.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  I had no clue about how to proceed with my life, but I sure as hell hoped they did. Grace and Ryder stood next to each other, strong, unwavering. You could see it in the way they looked at each other, with such respect and regard for each other. Ryder was protective, yet he seemed to hang out in the background, and let Grace call the shots.

  “Let’s go into the war room, and we can talk,” Grace said, taking my hand. “There’s a lot to cover.”

  “Yes…okay,” I said, allowing her to lead me inside. I needed that, because I had never felt so lost in my life. I was so used to be people ordering me around, telling me exactly what to wear, what to say, what to do, and who to fuck, that I didn’t know anything else.

  I had a lot of adapting to do.

  We stepped through the threshold, and the floor boards creaked under my feet. I stopped as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. The faint sounds of country music filled the air and a roughly assembled bar lined one wall. A low slung, dirty couch stood along the other wall, with a few chairs and tables scattered around.

  “It’s usually very crowded here,” Riot said. “Enjoy the calm while it lasts.”

  “Um, okay…” I replied. Grace led me into a side room that held a large table lined with wooden chairs.

  “Sit here, sweetheart,” she said, pointing to the chair just to the left of the head of the table. I had expected us to talk alone, but Ryder, Doc, Riot and Slade followed us in and settled at the table as well. Ryder took the seat at the head of the table, and Grace sat to his right, directly across from me. They all seemed so comfortable, so at ease, so completely at odds with everything I was feeling.

  You killed Monty, that voice rose in my head again.

  Yes, okay, I had a reason to be uncomfortable.

  “Okay, Lacey,” Grace began, “I want to tell you a little bit about me, about us, first.”

  I nodded, and a hush fell over the table.

  “I’m Grace, as you know. I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, at the hands of my own family members. I have devoted my life to helping other survivors. My journey began on the police force, eventually going undercover to bust the countless pimps and sex traffickers that roam the West coast. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that trusting the cops isn’t always your safest option. Along the way, I met Ryder. Actually, I won’t mince words. Ryder saved my life. This club saved my life.”

  She paused, her eyes filling with tears as she spoke, her soft voice the only sound in the room.

  “Ryder found me unconscious on the road leading to this clubhouse, the pimp I was planning on busting was about to kill me. I owe my life to Ryder,” she said, her eyes landing on him. The love that passed between them was almost palpable. I felt a pang of envy stab my heart. Nobody had ever looked at me like that in my life.

  “After all of that, I tried to go back to my life on the force, but I just couldn’t do it. Eventually, I quit, and I’ve found a way to continue doing the work that is so important to me. That’s why I started Solid Ground. Now, with the muscle and brains of the Gods behind me, I can rescue women in need, using methods that weren’t available to me as a cop.”

  “I see,” I said, nodding.

  “How did you get our number, Lacey?” she asked.

  “Oh. Well, I went to jail…for a few hours. A woman in the cell gave it to me. I don’t know her name. She said she was my guardian angel…” my voice trailed off. What would I have done if I hadn’t had been given Grace’s phone number?

  “Ah. Yeah, that sounds like Alex. She’s one of our networkers. She helps spread the word to women who might need our services. She must have seen something in you,” Grace replied.

  “I don’t know,” I replied. What could she have seen?

  “Well, I’m glad you called. You did the right thing. Now, I have to admit, the fact that we’re dealing with the Mayor of Seattle is going to make this whole operation a little more tricky, but as long as you do what we say, everything should run smoothly. But, first, we’re going to need to hear every detail of what happened, okay? I know it’s going to be difficult to go over, but we have to make sure we know all the facts so we don’t miss anything and we know what we’re working with, okay, sweetheart?”

  “Yeah, sure…” I replied. All of their eyes were on me. “Where should I start?” I asked.

  “At the beginning…” Riot said, smiling gently at me. I met his gaze, and the churning ball in my stomach stilled. I took a deep breath and began.

  “I’m Lacey Hope Carrington,” I began. “My mother changed our name after I was born, because she thought our real last name, Baker, wasn’t good enough. She decided on ‘Carrington’ because she thought it sounded regal and wealthy, because of the Carrington’s on Dynasty, you know? Anyway, she grew up dirt poor, and she always wanted more. She had me when she was seventeen, and she decided right away that I was her ticket out of poverty. I guess I was a pretty baby, as pretty as babies can be, that is. I never really thought they were all that spectacular myself.” I looked around the table, and for the first time in my life, I let the words that have been floating around in my head for years spill out of me.

  “But, anyway, well, she became the stage mom and I became the product. She sold me to whoever would pay her. It started with commercials, print ads, and then she threw me in the pageant circuit. Little Miss anything and everything. Most of the time I won, which only added fuel to her fire. She was hungry for money. She was also hungry to feed her coke habit, which I didn’t learn about till much later. One cancels out the other, you know?” I smirked. None of this was funny, but if I didn’t laugh, I’d die from all the pain.

  “So, she worked me harder. And harder. Until I grew tired of it as I grew up. I was burnt out. I stopped trying to please her so much, and I started losing. She became desperate, trying anything to fix the contests, or bribe the judges. Once, I walked in on her sucking off the entire panel of judges before the Miss Northern California pageant. I won that night, but after that I refused to enter again. The money dried up, and so did my usefulness to her.”

  “That’s fucked up,” Riot said, his gaze glued to the table in front of him as he shook his head. I drew from the strength in his voice and continued.

  “She met Monty in a hotel bar, late at night, after a fundraiser in the ballroom. He wasn’t the mayor yet. She charmed him with tales of her young, beautiful, obedient sixteen year-old daughter, the ‘young’ part appealing to him the most. He asked to meet me, and then, well, hell…she just flat out sold me to him. He paid her ten grand for me, and I never saw or heard from her again. She just left me there in a downtown Seattle hotel with him, turning me over like an unwanted dog.”

  “Unfuckingbelievable,” Riot whispered, his voice seething with anger.

  “Yeah…anyway, Monty made his money back, in spades. He charged his rich friends fifteen grand to spend a few hours alone with me. Most of them had weird fetishes that they wouldn’t dare utter to someone in their real life. I was the fantasy girl that they could ask anything of. I protested the first few times, but after Monty beat me, well…let’s just say that I learned quickly that going along with whatever his freaky friends wanted was a lot easier than enduring Monty’s wrath.”

  “I am so sorry all of that happened to you, Lacey,” Grace said. Her eyes were shining with tears, and mine were bone dry. I was re-telling the horrors of my life, and while a perfect stranger was being deeply affected by my words, I felt nothing. I was dead inside. It was as if I was talking about someone else.

  “Listen, it was awful, for sure. But
Monty gave me a nice apartment, he bought me clothes, food, paid the bills. He wasn’t nice, he was a prick, he tortured me. But most of the guys he sold me to were just middle aged, perverted men. They never laid a finger on me, not violently, I mean. Monty was the angry one, the violent one. And I fucked up. I got tempted by an offer a man on the street gave me, and I got in his car. I knew Monty would be pissed, but I honestly thought, in my naive mind, that I could take this man’s money and use it to run away. Turns out, he was a cop, and all he did was give me a trip to jail.”

  Grace shook her head, and anger rose in her eyes.

  “That’s when I met your friend, Alex. When she gave me the card. But Monty bailed me out and I was back in my apartment with him within hours. That was last night. He beat me. Hard. And he was about to rape me…but…um,” my voice trembled and my hands began shaking as I remembered what I had done. “I don’t know…I snapped, I guess. I had never fought back before. But I just couldn’t take one more night enduring his cruelty…and I started fighting back. Before I knew it, I was standing over him and stabbing him over and over with my broken shoe. I guess I passed out. Next thing I know, I woke up covered in blood and Monty was dead. I took a shower, and I called you. And here I am.”

  Riot sat beside me, and the anger pulsed off his body. His fists clenched and unclenched over and over as I told my story. It was unnerving, and yet…the fact that he was so obviously angry at all the shit I had endured was comforting in a very deep and satisfying way.

  Nobody had ever protected me from anything in my life. I didn’t know what that was supposed to feel like. If this was it, then I liked it.

  “Lacey,” Grace said, catching my eye. “Listen very carefully to me, okay?”

  I nodded.

  “All that shit you went through, with your Mom, with Monty, with all those men…none of that was your fault. You didn’t deserve any of that. Nobody deserves that. You were a victim. You had no choice but to go along with it, in order to survive. Don’t for a second think you did anything wrong. You mother was supposed to protect you, to keep you safe, to nurture you, and she failed miserably. But here’s what I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older. All that shit that happened to both of us, it only made us stronger. You’ve survived things that people your age can’t even imagine. You’re a warrior, Lacey. Remember that. You’ve gone through hell, and look - you’re here now, you’re safe, you are finally out of that hell. You’ve won, Lacey.”