RAW: THE ULTIMATE MC COLLECTION

by Palomino, Honey

  He turned on his heel, his footsteps echoing as he walked out of my life.

  I locked the door and fell onto the floor into a sobbing puddle of confusion, disappointment, and fear.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “Tommy, listen something isn't right. Someone was in my apartment, and I'm pretty sure it was Pete. I saw him by my door, and he told me he had come to tell me Crow was going to be late. I'm certain he broke into my apartment and moved my badge so Crow would find it.”

  I sat in Tommy's rundown office once again, trying to come to some solution to this entire situation. After the horrible scene with Crow, I cried as I threw away the cold steaks, packed up and left the next morning, reluctantly returning to my old apartment and my old life. Whatever that was. I felt so lost and I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with Crow and pretend none of this had happened. But since I couldn't do that, and Tommy was determined not to let me fall into some deep depression and hide under the covers for the next few months, I wanted to find a way to help Crow, even if I wasn't on the case anymore.

  “Liv, I know you got close to this guy. Too close. I really didn't mean for that to happen. I knew it was a risk, but I was hoping for the best. I'm sorry you got hurt in the process. It all happened very quickly, so hopefully you will get over it just as fast. But we have to be real careful here about who we are accusing of what. The DA isn't going to let any of this go, and whatever we report to him he is going to use against Crow in the worst way possible.”

  “Tommy, I know what I saw. Pete had the cocaine in his hand, and he was standing behind the desk. The very desk they supposedly found a brick of cocaine in that the DA is saying belonged to Mr. C. There's a lot more going on behind the scenes there, and I didn't have time to see it, but I have a very strong suspicion that Pete and the DA are behind something really shady here. Do you think Pete could be working for the DA? Is he the other mole? I didn't think so at first, because he used to hang around the Blackhearts, but now I do. I just don't know why he would go to such lengths to expose me to Crow? If he is working for the DA then he must know I'm the other cop.”

  “Liv, I'm sorry. I don't have any answers for you. But you're right. There's a lot more going on behind the scenes than either of us has been informed of. It's best you're off the case, and I'm glad that you weren't harmed. It would have killed me if something had happened to you.”

  “Whose idea was it for me to be sent there, Tommy?” “What do you mean?” “Well, I thought it was you, but now I'm thinking something else. Did the DA ask for me specifically?” “Well, yes, I suppose so. He did press the issue a little. He knew you were graduating and he mentioned in passing a while back that he had something perfect for you.”

  “Something isn't right, Tommy.” I repeated. “And I think Pete has a big part in it.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The next two weeks were excruciating. My days were spent constantly thinking about Crow and waiting for any word from Tommy, and jogging obsessively to attempt to distract myself, to no avail. Crow was under my skin. After debating back and forth with myself repeatedly, I knew what I had to do.

  I couldn't let Ol' Cyclops the DA bring down a club that didn't appear to be doing anything wrong. I had to let Crow know what I thought was going on, and let him deal with the information however he saw fit. I was hoping like hell I could do this without Tommy finding out, but that depended on what Crow decided to do once I told him.

  I watched the clubhouse for hours before I finally saw Pete leave alone. When I pulled up on my bike, I instantly knew I wasn't welcome. If the vibe didn't hit me, the death glares from Mr. C and Pockets definitely let me know how they felt about me. I parked my bike, determined not to let them scare me away before I had a chance to see Crow.

  “Crow around?” I asked as they both sauntered up to me, their chins upturned in defiance as they blocked my path to the clubhouse door.

  “That depends. Who's asking? A pig or a bitch?” Pockets laughed at Mr. C's joke.

  “I'm not here on business. I just need to talk to Crow. Please let me go in, or tell him I'm here. I see his bike right there.”

  “Listen, little lady,” Mr. C leaned in close to me, his whiskey breath stronger than ever. “You might have some nice titties, but it don't matter how pretty they are - there's always another pair that aren't attached to a dirty fucking badge. Crow doesn't want to have anything to do with you. And if I find out it was you that set me up and planted that cocaine,” his voice turned to a snarl and his eyes glinted with rage, “I can guarantee those tits won't be pretty anymore after I get a hold of them.”

  “You're lucky that Crow is protecting you now, as a matter of fact. If it weren't for him, bitch, we would have already come to visit you.” Pockets voice was rough and just as angry as his friend's.

  So Crow was protecting me? That was a good sign, one that I was extremely thankful for. Things had seemed extremely quiet the last few weeks, and now I knew why.

  “Listen, will you just go tell him I'm here, and ask him if he will listen to me for a minute? I have important things I need to explain to him. Trust me, he will want to hear it.” My voice was shaking, and I realized in that moment exactly how much this meant to me, how much he meant to me. I didn't care about my job at all. I knew I should. I had worked so hard to get there, and I wanted to make Tommy proud, but I couldn't do that at Crow's expense. If I let this go, and didn't try to make things right, I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn't handle seeing Crow be punished for some asshole's ego trip.

  “Stay here.” Mr. C grunted and turned, with Pockets following him, but not without first raking his gaze across my body in disdain. I knew MC members weren't fond of cops, and I could only imagine how much they must hate someone like me who had betrayed them so badly.

  When Crow walked out onto the sidewalk, I gasped. He looked gaunt and miserable. His normal enthusiastic gait was replaced by a sluggish walk, his normally flowing free hair was tied back into a tight ponytail, pulling his skin harshly. But it was his eyes that tore right through my heart. The last time I had seen him, he was angry. But now, his anger was gone. His eyes were filled with sadness. He looked broken.

  “Crow.”

  “You shouldn't be here,” he avoided looking in my eyes, his gaze darting around to the bikes around us.

  “I really need to talk to you, Crow. I have a lot to say.” I pleaded.

  “Oh, yeah?” he asked. “I see you drove your bike here. I thought that was just part of the act.”

  “My bike? No, it's not an act. I ride my bike everywhere.”

  “Well, whatever. It's hard to know what was the truth and what was the lie, so I'm just assuming you lied to me about everything you said.”

  “Well, that's what I want to talk to you about, Crow. Can we go somewhere private to talk? I have some information I want to share with you. I think I can help you...” My voice trailed off nervously.

  “Help me? What a fucking joke? Didn't we have this conversation already? There's nothing you can do for me. You've done quite enough already.” His eyes finally met mine and the sadness there was immeasurable. “And no matter what you said, I wouldn't believe a fucking word of it anyway. How could I ever trust you? How could I ever trust a fucking lying cop like you?”

  “Crow, please. I understand. But listen, I will do anything you want to convince you that I want to help. I don't care about my job. All I want is to make sure you know some things that are going on and you can decide what to do with the information.”

  “Are you fucking serious? Are you crazy? You're an undercover cop working to bring down my MC who may or may not have planted illegal drugs in my clubhouse, and you expect me to believe you want to help me now? Fuck that.”

  “Crow, seriously, I'll do anything you ask. You don't believe me? Give me something I can do to prove it to you.”

  “Prove it to me? Are you kidding? How would you ever prove it to me after all of this shit y
ou've already done?”

  “I don't care. I'll do anything.”

  He shook his head, leaned against the brick wall behind him, and slowly lit up a cigarette. I wasn't sure if there really was anything I could do to convince him I was on his side, but if there was anything that would actually work, I was willing to try it.

  “You'll do anything, huh?” He asked, his voice low, almost a whisper in the shadow of the building.

  “Yes.” I said quietly as I stood before him.

  A long moment passed as he watched me silently. Shaking and nervous, it took all my strength not to walk to him, to embrace him. His sadness broke my heart, and the fact that I caused it only made me feel worse. I sighed as he inhaled deeply before slowly exhaling the smoke from his full lips. I felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him deeply.

  “Come on.” He threw the cigarette on the ground, stamping it out with his leather boot and walking away from me.

  Startled, I followed him into the clubhouse. My eyes took a few minutes to adjust to the dim lights of the bar, and the smell of weed, cigarettes and beer filled my nostrils. As soon as they saw me, all conversation ceased in the room. Every eye in the room followed me as I followed Crow. He stopped at the bar and turned to the room full of men. I stood beside him, waiting to see what he was up to and scanned the room quickly. Mr. C was behind the bar, and Pockets and Rat Boy were playing pool in the corner. Three other MC members were sitting at a dark table in the back.

  “Boys, this woman here has something to prove to me. I need you guys to do me a favor and see just how trustworthy she really is. If she makes it through this, then maybe I will believe that she's telling me the truth.”

  “What!” I exclaimed, “Crow, what the fuck?”

  He looked over at me, his eyes cold and unwavering.

  “You said anything. Show me what you're made of,” he whispered.

  “She's all yours boys,” he muttered before walking down the hallway to his office.

  Every inch of my body began shaking as every man in the room stopped what he was doing and began walking towards me. This was not what I expected at all, and yet I had told Crow I would do anything. I just never expected him to give me away to his club members. My heart and mind began racing as I tried desperately to come up with a way to get out of this situation. How could Crow do this to me? I thought he cared about me, I thought the sadness in his eyes was because he had lost me, but apparently I was wrong. He didn't care about me at all if he could do something like this.

  It was true, though. I had said I would do anything, whether I expected something this extreme or not. And what was the alternative? I had to make Crow realize I was telling the truth. So would this work? I didn't have much time to decide as I felt rough hands leading me over to the pool table in the corner. I seemed to move in a trance as I heard excited murmuring around me, but I couldn't make out any words they were saying. Was this really happening?

  I was picked up effortlessly and placed on the pool table, the sounds of the balls left on the table being pushed into the pockets around me clicked loudly in my head.

  Quickly, someone pulled off my boots and threw them across the room, inciting a chorus of laughter from the men.

  Hands were coming at me from every direction, groping my tits and pulling my hair roughly. I cried out as I felt someone working at the buttons of my pants, pulling them over my thighs and off me in one fell swoop, exposing my pink panties. I was cold and shaking and I realized by the wetness pouring down my cheeks that I was also crying. But I wasn't resisting. If this was what was going to get Crow to believe me, then I would just endure it. Maybe they wouldn't be too rough, that was the best I could hope for. I didn't think I had any chance of stopping them now anyway.

  Cold hands pulled at the bottom of my black tank top, pulling it over my head. I lay in front of them, splayed out in nothing but my bra and panties. I had never been in a situation like this, despite my years with the Blackhearts and I found myself frozen with fear.

  The jeering men were encouraging each other, the energy between them building to a frightening frenzy and I began for the first time to worry about my safety after all.

  “That's enough!” Crow's voice bellowed from the doorway. “Get away from her. Let her go!”

  I sobbed loudly as they removed their hands from my shaking body and one by one, walked away from me, leaving me naked, crying, and spread out on the green felt of the pool table.

  “Everyone go into the conference room and wait for me. We have some club business to talk about. I'll be there in five minutes.”

  The men trailed down the hallway, leaving Crow and I alone as he stood over me and I looked up at him angrily, feeling completely helpless.

  “Get dressed. Get out.”

  He turned on his heel, leaving me alone in the cavernous clubhouse bar.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  After returning to the sanctuary of my apartment, I drowned my sorrows in drunken isolation and retreated from everything and everyone. Lying sad and alone, I looked around at the few possessions I had, and nothing really meant anything to me at all. I had a few pictures of my parents scattered in frames around my house, but looking at them now only made me feel even more nostalgic for the MC life.

  So many years had flown by since I felt that kind of community. That kind of family. I missed it. And I had felt it for just a brief moment when I was with Crow. Going over it again and again in my head, I spent hours torturing myself with thoughts of how I could have done things differently, and what I could do now to make things right.

  But Crow didn't want my help. And I completely understood. I wouldn't trust me either. After all, I was a cop. An undercover one, at that. I had been sent into his world to spy on him, to catch him doing something wrong. But I hadn't discovered anything like that.

  In fact, I had discovered the complete opposite. Crow was a rugged, rough around the edges guy, but he was so much more than that. He was strong, and his character was noble. He was sensitive and sexy, and filled with a raw sensuality that seemed to seep out of him. And that is what I had fallen in love with. That, and the way his rough hands felt scratching across my hips. Fuck, I missed him.

  Because of all these wonderful things about him, I had to respect the fact that he wanted nothing to do with me, whether I could get the club out of this mess or not. I did. I didn't like it, but I understood it.

  So, I gave up. Nights were spent with a few bottles of wine and watching old movies curled up in my bed, alone and frustrated. Tommy tried to pull me out of my isolation, but outside of short conversations on the phone to ask for updates on the case, I had little contact with him. A month passed and there still was no news either way. If there was, it was being kept from us.

  Late one night after a run to the corner store for more wine, I pulled up in front of my apartment to a sight that terrified me and filled me with hope all at once. My heart soared as I spotted first Crow's bike parked in my parking spot, and then his silhouette in my doorway. With shaking hands I parked my bike, removed my helmet, shook out my hair and looked around.

  No other bikes or people were in sight. The only sound was my heart pounding so hard I thought it might escape from my chest. I had imagined the moment I would see him again, but I certainly had never entertained the thought that it would be a surprise visit to my house. As far as I knew, he didn't even know my real name, let alone where I lived.

  I walked up to the door of my apartment, as he turned and looked at me. Those eyes were still blazing, still slaying me, just as I had imagined they would. I laid in my bed every night thinking about them, and here they were.

  “Hi.” I said, quietly, meeting his gaze.

  “Hi.” His hair curled around the top edge of his cut, and I found myself biting my lip as I watched him run his hand through his hair, his chin tucked as he gazed through his lashes at me. His movie star good looks never ceased to affect me and today was no exception. My palms were sweating and my breath
quickened as I watched him.

  “Can we talk inside?” he asked.

  Such a simple question. And yet a hopeful doorway to a future. I nodded, not trusting my voice just yet, unlocked my door and led him inside. He strolled in slowly, taking in the pictures of my past scattered on the walls silently. He headed straight to my couch, and sat down. Crossing his left leg over his right, he leaned back and stared at me. I couldn't place what I saw in those eyes, but it wasn't nearly as angry as it was when I had last seen him. I sat down next to him, waiting for him to speak first.

  “I've been following you for a few days, sorry for the unexpected visit. You came to me saying you can help, and I'm not sure what you meant by that, but I have to do whatever is necessary to save my club, and if you have the key to that, then I'm ready to listen. I have reason to believe there is another cop in my MC.”

  His words sank in slowly, and I contemplated where to start. There was so much to share with him, so much to explain. I took a deep breath, and began the only place I knew how.

  The beginning.

  “My name is Olivia LaVelle. My father was the president of the Blackheart's Motorcycle Club.....”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  By the time I was finished, he was left with confusion in his eyes, and a thousand questions. We stayed up all night, and I answered them all.

  I told him about my parents, about my life after they died, about Tommy saving me and how grateful I was for that. I explained my decision to become a cop, and how shocked I was that my first assignment was breaking into his circle. And then I told him about Pete. About how he had recognized me, how I saw him in the office with the coke and his demeanor towards me as soon as Crow left the room.