The Jordans Collection

by Jess Michaels

  Noah glared at his friend. “What?”

  Griffin leaned his elbows on his knees and met Noah’s gaze evenly. “You’re afraid.”

  The statement hit Noah like a punch to the stomach and he reeled away to press his back flat against the cushioned seat. His first reaction should have been anger to be accused of cowardice, but that wasn’t what twisted his gut into knots.

  It was recognition that his keen friend spoke the truth.

  “I…” he stammered, trying to find the words. “I’ve never loved anyone before. I’ve risked my life for cases, but never my heart. I don’t know even how to do it.”

  Griffin’s laughing face softened. “You just say how you feel and trust it will set you free. Risking your heart is terrifying, but the alternative is even worse.”

  “What’s the alternative?” he asked with a hard swallow.

  Griffin held his gaze once more. “A life without her.”

  Noah shivered as he stood up. “No, I don’t think I could live with that.”

  His friend nodded. “Then you already know what you must do.”

  * * *

  “I know what I must do,” Marion muttered as she stumbled up the back staircase toward her room. Her eyes blurred with tears and she came to a halt to lean back against the stairwell.

  What an idiot she was! To go downstairs ready to confess to Noah how much she loved him only to hear him telling Griffin how sorry he was that he’d ever become involved with her. That it ‘wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen’.

  All of Noah’s reassurance that she would make a good wife, that they could be happy, had been an act on his part. A chivalrous way to ease her worries even while he hid how unhappy he was at the thought of a union with her… what had he called her?

  A country chit.

  And what had making love to her been? Just another night with a warm body? Or a way to make her believe, yet again, that he cared for her even though he obviously didn’t.

  Nausea swept over her but she choked back the bile in her throat and continued up the stairs. The hallway was nothing but a blur, but her feet found her room from feel and memory. She twisted the door handle and fell inside. When her body hit her bed she allowed herself to succumb to the wracking tears she’d wanted to shed since she heard Noah proclaim that she wasn’t in his plans.

  She’d run away so she wouldn’t hear more. Run away from his tired voice, from Griffin’s agreeing silence. But the pain in her heart she couldn’t escape. It kept her in its grip. Unavoidable and inescapable.

  “Marion? What in the world?”

  She glanced up from her tearstained pillow to see her mother enter from the adjoining door. She stood in the doorway for a brief moment before she rushed to her daughter’s side and gathered her into a warm, comforting embrace.

  As a little girl, Marion had believed if only her mother had been there to hold her all her pain would have gone away. But she now realized just how wrong she’d been. Even her mother’s comfort couldn’t wipe away this agony.

  “What happened?” her mother asked as she rocked her back and forth like she would a child. “What did he say to you?”

  Marion drew in a shuddering breath as she tried to form words through her sobs.

  “He said I wasn’t in his plan,” she hiccuped. “He doesn’t love me.”

  She broke into hard tears again as she pressed her face into her mother’s lavender scented shoulder. Ingrid clucked her tongue and Marion could hear the anger in her mother’s voice. “Heartless man.”

  “No.” She struggled to sit up. “He is a decent man trying to do the right thing. I’m glad I kn-know.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Now I can do what I need to do.”

  “And what is that?” Her mother dug a handkerchief from her pocket and handed it over to Marion. She took it with a wordless smile of thanks.

  “I must leave here as soon as I can. You were right. I can’t marry a man who doesn’t love me. A man who views me as an inconvenience and a duty.” She choked on another batch of tears. She had to be strong. “Please, Mama. Will you help me?”

  Her mother’s face softened. “For years I could do nothing to make your life easier. I’ll do anything I can now.”

  “Then take me away from here. Help me leave with as little upset as possible. Help me hide until Noah’s sense of duty has been spent and he’s gone back to the life he wanted in the first place. With the ton, with a woman of breeding.”

  She shivered at those words. Of course Noah would find a new woman to marry. She’d seen the predatory looks on the women’s faces at the ball when he walked by. Many of them wished to have him as their husband, even more as a lover. Would he choose one of the young women who’d fawned over him? Or would he make things up to Charlotte Ives? Call Marion a dalliance he regretted but that he’d come to his senses?

  “Oh!” She struggled to her feet and hurried to the window to look out as she twisted the handkerchief in her hand around and around.

  “When do you want to go?”

  “Tomorrow.” She nodded at her own reflection in the glass. “We’ll behave as if nothing is wrong and simply climb into your carriage and ride away. We can enlist Sally’s help to prepare us for our journey without rousing the suspicions of the house staff.”

  She turned to face her mother. Ingrid looked uncertain as. “Are you certain you want to do something so rash as to sneak away?”

  Marion nodded. “I have no choice. If I confront Noah, he’ll try to appease me with pretty words and with…” She blushed. “Making a clean break is best for us all.”

  She could only imagine what Noah would do if she confronted him. He would try to convince her to stay and it would only break her heart even further. She couldn’t bear the thought of him lying to her in order to keep her near him, or worse yet, tell her the truth that he could never love her but that he was planning to force her into the marriage regardless.

  Her mother pursed her lips. “Very well, my dear. If you feel running is your only chance, I’ll help you. I certainly understand wanting to flee. I’ll make all the arrangements for our leaving and for a place for you to stay until Lord Woodbury has ceased any search for you.”

  Marion nodded, but a sudden wave of exhaustion worked through her. Now that the decision had been made, the only thing she wanted to do was collapse on her bed and cry herself to sleep. Alone.

  “I should rest if we’re to travel tomorrow.” She hugged her mother. “Goodnight, Mama.”

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  She shook her head slowly. “No. I need to be by myself for a while.”

  Her mother nodded slowly as she leaned down to place a kiss on her daughter’s forehead. “Marion, Marion. You’ll find your happiness someday, my dear. I promise you.”

  Marion somehow found the ability to nod as she watched her mother slip from the room. As soon as she was gone, she dropped her head into her hands and let out a low sob.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Noah paced across the sitting room floor and checked the small clock on the wall once more. It was two in the afternoon, and he was waiting for Marion’s arrival. Each time the pendulum swung his anxiety grew.

  In all the years of spying, all the times he’d nearly been caught, he’d never felt such a sickness in the pit of his stomach. But telling a woman he loved her, a simple task in theory, made him weak. If it hadn’t been so painful he would have laughed at how far he’d fallen in such a short time.

  The door creaked open and Noah spun around, but his expression fell when he saw it was only his mother, sister and Griffin who came to greet him. It was all he could do to control the twist of disappointment from coming to his face.

  “Good afternoon.” He crossed the room to kiss his mother’s and Audrey’s cheek and shake Griffin’s hand.

  “Well, you look suitably awful,” Griffin teased in a low voice. “How very romantic she’ll find your bloodshot eyes.”

  Noah turned aw
ay with a glare. “Will Marion and her mother be joining us soon?”

  He did his best to ignore Griffin’s chuckle as he took his seat beside Audrey. His sister reached up and absently wound her hand through her husband’s. Noah winced with jealousy. He hoped he would soon enough be able to show his feelings for Marion with the same ease. Until then, his sister and brother-in-law’s happiness was only a reminder of what he risked to lose.

  “Did you not receive my message?” Tabitha asked as she motioned for the maid to pour tea for their party.

  “No. I was out running a few errands.”

  He’d gone to pick up the ring he’d had designed for Marion. He planned to go down on one knee and propose to her properly. Much the same way he had planned to propose to Charlotte, but with real emotion and passion behind the words he would say.

  “She and her mother went out this morning to visit and shop.” Tabitha cocked her head. “In fact, I’m a bit surprised they haven’t returned as of yet. I thought certain they’d be home for luncheon, but they’ve yet to arrive or send word.”

  Noah’s heart leapt with concern, even though rationally he knew he had nothing to worry about. “She’s sent no explanation for her tardiness? That doesn’t seem like Marion.”

  Audrey shook her head with a laugh. “You worry too much. She had a wonderful debut last night and it’s likely she and her mother met with people who desired to increase their acquaintance. It’s often difficult to tear oneself away from the matrons of the ton. Even more difficult to do it without offending them.”

  Noah was surprised that the worry he felt was growing. He’d come to trust his instincts over the years and now stood up with a frown.

  “Was there anything out of the ordinary when she departed?”

  Audrey drew back at his intense stare. “Noah, what on earth has come over you?”

  “Please don’t argue. Answer the question,” he managed through clenched teeth.

  His sister shook her head. “She seemed fine. A bit sad, but there is bound to be a modicum of let-down after such an exciting night.”

  Noah interrupted her before she was finished speaking. “She seemed upset, and you did nothing to inquire after the reasons?”

  “Noah!” Griffin said as his face grew red. “I would adjust your tone. There’s no need to attack my wife.”

  “Really, Noah,” Tabitha agreed. “You’re getting so upset over nothing.”

  Audrey stared at him with the eyes of a former spy and he could tell his sister realized he was truly worried, not simply acting the over-protective fiancé.

  “I’d never let her leave this house upset without trying to find the cause.” Her voice was soft, but her eyes never left his. “I did speak to her but she revealed nothing. Why this concern?”

  “A feeling,” Noah answered as he moved toward the door.

  Audrey hurried to her own feet and followed him. “A feeling…?”

  Noah nodded. “I want to see her room.”

  Now Tabitha and Griffin were both close behind the siblings.

  “Noah!” Tabitha cried in outrage. “That would be entirely inappropriate. You cannot go barging into the young woman’s room.”

  He ignored his mother’s pleas and began to climb the stairs two at a time. Something was wrong. Something had happened. Marion wouldn’t leave the house in upset and simply not return without an explanation. It wasn’t in her nature.

  “Noah!” Audrey caught up to him in hurried strides and blocked his way with her body. “Your feelings are generally correct on these subjects, but Mama is right. You can’t go searching through her room. I’ll go. You wait in the foyer.”

  Noah hesitated, but saw the wisdom his sister’s advice. With a frown, he nodded and turned back to the main floor. At the bottom of the stairs, Griffin and Tabitha stared at him with a mixture of shock and worry.

  “I don’t understand you, Noah,” his mother said as he stepped off the last stair. “Causing all this uproar over a shopping excursion.”

  “You’re right, Mother.” He put an arm around her while he continued to watch up at the staircase where his sister had vanished. “I’ve probably lost all my instincts over the years and am panicking over nothing. If that’s the case, I’ll apologize wholeheartedly to everyone involved. But if not…”

  He trailed off as his sister came hurrying down the stairs. Her face was pale and she clutched a note in her hand. Instantly Noah knew.

  Marion was gone.

  * * *

  Marion gripped the seat edge as the carriage rocked along the bumpy road out of London. They’d almost escaped the city, leaving the plush houses and crowded neighborhoods behind as the countryside became greener and wider. The hour since they left the Berenger mansion that morning had dragged by, for Marion knew each moment took her further and further from the man she loved.

  She winced, but didn’t cry. She’d run out of tears and didn’t intend to weep anymore. She hadn’t when she watched Noah leave the house after his enlightening conversation with Griffin Berenger. She hadn’t when she wrote the note to explain her departure. She hadn’t even when she said her last goodbyes to Tabitha and Audrey, though it had been difficult. Audrey had even seemed to sense her pain, though Marion had withheld the cause from her.

  In a few hours Noah would discover she was missing. She wanted to put as much distance between them as possible during that time. He would certainly make some chase, but if he couldn’t find her right away, she hoped he’d just give up.

  Or did she?

  “You seem tired, my dear.” Her mother guided Marion’s head to her comfortable shoulder.

  Sally looked up from her sewing. “You should have eaten before we departed, Miss.”

  Marion shook her head. “No. I couldn’t have had a thing and if I’d gotten ill Audrey and Tabitha never would have allowed our pretended visits.”

  Ingrid shook her head. “Perhaps being forced to stay would have been the best thing for you.”

  Marion straightened with a gasp of shock. “You were the one who said I shouldn’t marry a man who didn’t love me. I thought you agreed with my decision.”

  She took a sidelong glance at her maid. Normally she wouldn’t have said anything so personal in front of a servant, but Sally was different.

  “I did.” Ingrid patted her hand. “But seeing you so miserable makes me question whether or not I let my own unhappiness in my marriage to your father cloud my judgment.”

  “I would have been just as wretched staying,” Marion reasoned. “Only then I would have been unhappy and married.”

  Her mother raised both eyebrows. “We’ll see. If Noah comes after you, then we’ll be certain you’re important to him.”

  “This isn’t a test, Mama.” Marion sighed. “I’m doing it to set us both free. I only hope we can put enough distance between us that he doesn’t find us. The last thing I want is some pathetic scene where I blubber and he tries to convince me I’m important to him.”

  Ingrid winced at Marion’s harsh self-judgment but didn’t argue. For a long time the two women simply sat lost in reverie.

  She was so lost in emotional turmoil that it took her a moment to realize the carriage had stopped. With a frown, she pulled back the window curtain and looked around. Outside, two horses grazed by the roadside and she heard male voices. Had Noah found her so soon?

  Her heart leapt with joy at the thought before she could control the happy emotions that swelled inside her. With a scowl she folded her arms and pushed them back. She didn’t want Noah to find her.

  “Who is that?” Sally broke the silence as she, too, pulled back the curtain. Her face fell. “Oh miss, there’s two of them…”

  “I would suggest you get down from there, sir.”

  Marion froze and her eyes trailed first to her mother, then to the carriage door. Her father’s voice. That was her father’s voice.

  “Walter,” her mother gasped.

  Marion didn’t pause to think, but leapt to
the carriage door and pulled back against it with all her might to keep anyone from entering. Her mother’s vehicle wasn’t fancy enough to have a lock.

  “Stay quiet,” she whispered to the other two frightened women. “Perhaps it isn’t him.”

  “Marion, open this door!”

  She shut her eyes. It was him.

  The door lurched under her grip as her father tugged and pulled at the handle. She braced her feet against the floorboards though ultimately her struggle was futile. It wasn’t as if her father would give up and leave. Not if he’d tracked her all the way to London. He wanted something. He wanted her.

  “Go away!” She pulled even harder.

  “I’ll rip the door out of your hands!”

  True to his threat, Marion felt the handle slipping from her grip as her much more powerful father yanked. She careened backward across the carriage floor as it popped open.

  She struggled to sit up as her father’s sneering face blocked the light from the sunny day outside. Instinctively, she rose up and moved in front of her mother to protect the other woman.

  “You aren’t wanted here, Papa.” She hoped her voice didn’t reflect the fear she felt. The last thing she wanted was for her father to sense her weakness.

  “I didn’t ask.” He smiled maliciously at her, but then his eyes went to her mother and he paled.

  At first Marion thought he was having a romantic reaction to seeing the woman he’d once been married to, but when she looked closer she could see it wasn’t love or desire in his eyes, but something even more powerful.

  It was hate.

  She gasped and edged closer to her mother.

  “Walter.” Ingrid’s voice trembled from behind her as her hand gripped Marion’s shoulder.

  “I heard Woodbury found you,” her father hissed. “I couldn’t believe it was true.” His eyes strayed to Sally, who was crouching in the corner of the vehicle. “And you. Mr. Lucas would probably like to take your insubordination out of your scrawny backside. I think I’ll give him the opportunity.”

  Marion flinched. Was Josiah Lucas there, too? Sally had said there were two men. Nausea washed over her as she remembered the older man’s desire to have her. Perhaps being ruined by Noah wouldn’t be enough to keep him from taking her.