Once Grace had been checked and checked again, the nurses gave her a bath and we were soon off to the new hospital. I had never been to this one either, and I hoped it would be warm and friendly like the others. When Grace was being checked over again on arrival, they took her vital signs and monitored the heartbeats of the babies. I sat sipping a much needed coffee, and listening to both of the babies’ hearts beating strong and fast and felt calmer and more assured that we had done the right thing by moving hospitals on the Friday. The doctor gave the babies a full scan and we sat looking at them on the screen. Now I felt almost completely back to normal, bar a good night’s rest, and Grace said she could do with a good night’s sleep too. I knew she was relieved the babies were OK. I told her she should try to relax and rest as much as she could. As she was now on complete bed rest, she was wheeled up to the twelfth floor to her new room for the next few hours, days or weeks.
It was a lovely room, as nice as the hospital we had originally chosen, and it had lots of light and views across the city. You could see all of the city skyscrapers and temples dotted along the highway towards my apartment. Now I knew she and the babies were safe and in a good place, I left to go back to the hotel, as it was time to move what we were going to need to a temporary apartment I had rented, near the third hospital and on the other side of the city from this one. I had planned to let Grace stay there while I prepared everything for the babies’ arrival so she could be near the hospital should anything happen earlier than expected, but now it would be just me staying there. Now I knew that I definitely wasn’t going home for Christmas, New Year or Krzysztof’s and Lily’s birthdays, I would try to relax as much as possible and make it as comfortable as I could, in case Krzysztof had to dash over on the next flight.
After I had moved into the apartment, I began unpacking everything and getting together some sort of semblance of a hospital bag for the twins. Since Grace had found herself plucked from her home with nothing she needed, and I would have to prepare everything Krzysztof and I required for the twins, it was important to get it all ready.
The first full day Grace was in the hospital, I drove to see her and spent the afternoon in her room while she waited patiently. Although a confident driver, even I was a bit nervous about driving across the city but soon found my courage and a good satnav app to get me from A to B. The second day we sat and had lunch together and watched some Thai TV. As soon as Grace lay down, the twins became lively; they seemed to react to my voice, and one of them had hiccups. It was so calming to be sitting there in relative comfort after the last few days, and I felt so much more secure at this point that she and the twins would be fine. I was happy to know that the nurses were constantly checking both Grace and the babies, although I appreciated she was pretty annoyed this would be going on throughout the night too. We unpacked the new breast pump I had brought from England and got to grips with how that worked.
Now that the decision not to go home had been made for me, I decided to settle into the apartment and enjoy this unexpected time. Emma and Lily were continuing with their holiday as planned, and I was exactly where I wanted to be, but wishing Krzysztof could be there with us.
The next few days were about familiarising myself with the new neighbourhood in Thonglor. I was finding my way around a new district and getting used to shuttling back and forth from the apartment to the hospital. It felt very surreal that we were in the place where we knew for a fact the babies would be born. I was glad we had the chance to have more time before the birth, and they wouldn’t be arriving in a mad rush. As each day passed we were another day closer to the birth, and I was able to ease up a bit more, while all the time trying to help Krzysztof do the same by keeping him informed of all the updates.
Lisa from the agency knew that we had planned to have a 3D scan again, and during the first week Grace was suddenly put in a wheelchair and we were ushered to another floor for this to take place. I was so excited, but at the same instant I was petrified too and so hopeful that everything would be well and healthy with the babies after the drama of the last few days.
As the doctor started his checks, as always I was thrilled to see two heartbeats strong and clear on the screen. Up until then I found it so difficult to concentrate but finally was able to unwind a little and enjoy this moment of seeing both the babies moving around on the monitor. Our baby boy, Leo, was first to have a full scan, and he was lying head down on the left side of Grace’s tummy. He had a good strong heartbeat and, at thirty weeks, the doctor estimated that his weight was 1.6kg. Next was Olivia, who was lying head down on the right side of Grace’s tummy and, at one point, had one of Leo’s feet in her face! Up until this moment, the entire scan was in 2D and I could see every bone and organ on the screen. The doctor switched to a second scan device, and I could see Leo’s face appear, albeit hidden by his hand. I recognised him as my son as soon as I could see him on the screen. The feeling was beyond wonderful and exciting. It was magical. Then it was Olivia, who was hiding too, still with her brother’s foot near her nose. I saw the most beautiful face appear on the screen, and I fell even more in love at that point. I sat in wonderment and so looked forward to surprising Krzysztof with the photos as soon as the doctor had printed them out. When I did, he was overjoyed and in shock and described seeing them as ‘amazing’ and ‘surreal’. I left the room for Grace to have her uterus checked. I sat waiting for her to appear so she could look at the photos again, and she was wheeled by a porter back to our room on the twelfth floor. We all sat and marvelled at the photos, and then I left to go and do some chores back at the apartment.
That evening I felt settled and was looking forward to a full night’s sleep when Grace messaged to tell me that she was bleeding a little. I was instantly worried and asked about all the things I was sure she was doing already. The nurse confirmed it was usual after a uterus examination, which made sense to me, so I was a little less concerned for her and the babies. I asked if she wanted to send for the doctor to check, and she said she would if there was any pain or changes in movement. As the bleeding had stopped as quickly as it had begun, all I could hope was that everything was OK. I knew she would call the doctor if need be. Grace was advised to be on complete bed rest – not even any moving around the room. I assumed this would just be for a couple of days until things were back to normal again. I was scared that the examination had restarted the labour and considered going back to the hospital to doze there. I knew I would get no rest at home anyway. I spent the night worried and watching my phone for any update from Grace.
After another sleepless night, I was glad to go to the hospital early to see her and talk to the doctor, who confirmed everything was OK. I also had my tour of the new nursery and labour ward that day and talked with the doctor there as he would be delivering the babies. He had read our birth plan but said it may not be possible for me to be in the delivery room if the babies came early. I knew at that point there would need to be a bit of negotiation as this was specifically why we didn’t choose this hospital in the first place. I knew they were reluctant to allow parents into the delivery room during C-sections, and all I could hope was that, as the doctor got to know me over the next couple of weeks, he would allow me to be present when the twins were born. The tour was brief, but at least I now knew where everything would take place. I went back to see Grace and update her and Krzysztof and enjoy some more TV.
It was time to start the paperwork for the twins locally in Bangkok and, although we had a long list of things to do in a very particular order, we first had to register with the British Consulate to begin the process of getting the babies their British passports. I met with my lawyer, Jonathan, at his offices, and we went along to the Consulate together on Christmas Eve to begin the paperwork. After going through security and giving in my phones and laptop, we were shown where to go. We met with a pleasant and helpful lady there in one of their interview rooms. It was pretty strange as we were separated
by a glass wall and desk and I had to pass my documents through an open shelf so they could be copied. I was asked to prepare a written statement describing the steps that led to the surrogate pregnancy and passed this through the shelf too once it was completed. We discussed how we would get the DNA testing done, get the report back to their office, and then get it attached to the passport application. It all seemed very formal, but I was expecting that and no sooner were we there than we were leaving again. I was glad the twins were on some sort of register now and felt that, as far as the paperwork was concerned, we had started the ball rolling to get us home once the babies were born. By coincidence, the IVF office was across the street from the British Consulate, so I dropped in there to see the nurses and give them some Christmas cards. It was lovely to see them all again, and I showed them pictures of how Grace was growing and told them all the escapades of the last couple of weeks at the hospital.
I woke up on Christmas Day with a takeaway turkey lunch planned for both Grace and me, and lots of FaceTime with Krzysztof and family back in the UK. I was excited that it was Christmas and, after opening my presents, I drove over to Dean & DeLuca who had arranged to have a full Christmas dinner plated up for me to take to the hospital. I picked their best dessert, and off I went to see Grace and her ever-growing bump in Phyathai 2 hospital. I was beginning to settle into our routine: I would arrive, have coffee, chat to the babies, feel how much they were moving that day and then spend the afternoon there.
As I arrived with Christmas lunch and gifts, I had already been warned that Grace was feeling pretty uncomfortable so I approached with caution. I donned my Santa hat and tinsel and on this, the most exciting but unusual of Christmas Days, was feeling pretty festive to say the least. We enjoyed our turkey with all the trimmings and opened presents together, and then Skyped with family as everyone woke up. Krzysztof was working on Christmas Day so we were able to FaceTime with him and watch him open up all his presents, which was wonderful to witness since we couldn’t be in the same country together. As the day went on, I was enjoying chatting with everyone and seeing how they were all spending their Christmas – especially Lily, who was only too keen to know if the twins had arrived yet and to tell me that she had, indeed, heard Santa on the roof the night before.
During the day, the nurses came and went, checking Grace’s blood pressure, her temperature and the heartbeats of the twins. I would marvel every time I patiently waited to hear the little, but strong and loud heartbeats – letting myself relax for a few minutes at least. As the day rolled on, I could tell Grace was tired and restless. I’m sure the huge Christmas lunch was also adding to her sleepiness, so later on I made my way home happy we had made it through another day and that the babies and Grace were well, in spite of her increasing size.
As the days ticked by slowly but surely, I was happier and happier that we were passing thirty-two weeks of pregnancy. In this week, between Christmas and New Year, Grace had another dating and ‘weigh-in’ scan, as I called them. I was so excited again to see the babies in the scan, their bodies and faces moving around reassuringly. We found out at this point that Olivia’s and Leo’s weights had increased again. Weights this healthy would have been perfect for just one baby, but the fact that Grace was carrying two full-size babies was astounding. It made me very aware that the babies would be here soon. I sat the whole night chatting with Krzysztof on Messenger. We talked about how life would be, thinking all the time of these two little babies growing and waiting patiently to be born despite all the drama a couple of weeks previously. Emma and Lily went home to the UK as planned, as Lily had school and her birthday to think about and would have to wait until we were home to meet her brother and sister. I was a little sad to say goodbye to them and wished so much they could stay longer.
As New Year’s Eve approached we were in the thirty-third week, and we brought in the New Year of 2015 chatting on FaceTime with Krzysztof, celebrating New Year’s Eve in Thailand – and then again in the morning in the UK. We joked that the babies had to stay in for another five days until Krzysztof arrived. With every twinge and practice contraction, every moan of discomfort, I was hoping more and more that they would stay safely in Grace’s tummy for as long as possible and that they and Grace would remain healthy. At the stroke of midnight, fireworks lit up the night sky all across Bangkok. I gave Grace a big hug to wish her a happy New Year and gave her tummy a big hug and kiss to wish the babies a happy and healthy New Year too. I got a reassuring nudge back from both of the babies and headed home to get some sleep and celebrate the New Year in the UK via messages and email with other friends and family.
As we settled into this unusual routine of my coming to the hospital to visit and going home later in the day, I sometimes had to remind myself what was going on. Of course, it’s not that I had forgotten the immensity of that was about to happen, but it all seemed so unreal. Even though I was living this wonderful time prior to the babies being born, I just couldn’t believe it, and I was in a bit of shock that it was going to be so soon, especially after the previous false alarm. I was loving this time and longed for Krzysztof to arrive so he could acclimatise and enjoy it too. I wanted to start planning how things would be, but I just had to appreciate the special moments and wait patiently until the babies were born. I kept wondering whether we would actually make it to a planned C-section, or would the babies decide one day or night: ‘OK, long enough. Here we come!’ I wanted to know but, at the same time, understood there was no way of knowing right now. As we were now in January, I knew only that they would be born this month and that felt scary but incredible. I wanted Krzysztof with me so badly – I could barely think about anything else other than the babies and him.
As the days and hours passed, bringing Krzysztof closer and closer to arriving, I was excited and in a huge panic too that the babies would decide to come before he arrived. On the morning he was scheduled to leave, I spoke to him to wish him a safe trip, and I watched his airplane leave London and travel towards Bangkok on an online flight scanner. I couldn’t wait for his arrival as it had been over three weeks since we had been together and I’d had all the stress of the night I flew over and had missed both Christmas and his birthday. As I was standing at the arrivals hall in Bangkok, I couldn’t believe we would all be in the correct place at the correct time – it felt unreal. I’d texted Grace on the way to the airport. I suppose that in the back of my mind I was curious to see if there had been any more signs of labour just as Krzysztof was arriving. Fortunately things were still calm, and as I saw Krzysztof trundle through arrivals with his entire luggage packed full again with baby milk and nappies, I was jumping for joy and so relieved to give him a hug and kiss and throw my arms around him. We got into the car and headed off towards the hospital so he could feel his babies moving around and, we hoped, have at least a few days to settle in before we became dads together. I was so excited for him to see Grace again as they had only been able to communicate on Skype over the last couple of months.
By coincidence, Grace’s dating scan was that afternoon and I hoped both of us could be present to see the babies and discover their weights. As we both sat down in the scan room I was overwhelmed to be with Krzysztof and Grace as the doctor revealed that at our thirty-fourth week point Leo and Olivia had healthy weights and were both doing wonderfully well. Grace was indeed carrying two healthy babies. We also had a bonus showing of a 3D scan of the babies’ faces, and it was superb for me to see Krzysztof responding to the babies moving on the screen – waving and jumping as they were responding to the noises of the machines and us all laughing.
We spent the first few days interviewing nannies, shopping and enjoying our routine of going to the hospital to see Grace and the babies every day as they grew bigger and bigger. Our last-minute preparations were near completion, and every day longer that Grace could carry the babies was a bonus for their developmental health. I was beginning to feel ready, which was astonishing con
sidering the situation, and both of us could just concentrate on preparing ourselves for the babies to arrive.
A meeting we had managed to arrange with the doctor and a representative from our lawyer’s office (which had taken a couple of weeks to sort out) was due to take place. Its purpose was to discuss our birth plan. I knew it was the longest shot in the book to get both of us in the delivery room, plus our CD playing Mozart, but it was all at least worth a try. Our lawyer being present didn’t seem to faze the doctor, so when we all settled down to the meeting in Grace’s room, I was eager to get my questions out. He had obviously read the birth plan and looked as if he was ready to negotiate, so I jumped right in and asked the first question: ‘Could both Krzysztof and I be present in the delivery room during the birth of the twins?’ The answer came back: ‘Yes’. I couldn’t believe it. I was in shock. I knew that it had never been done before at the hospital – having both male parents in there – and it was something I so wanted for both of us. I suppose the fact that we were having twins gave us even more reason to ask for both of us to be there. He explained that if the babies were to come before Grace’s thirty-seventh week then maybe only one, or possibly neither of us, would be permitted in, but the fact that we had a goal and it was, in theory, possible for us both to be inside, filled my heart with joy. I just hoped the babies could stay in her tummy a little bit longer so it would all become possible. I explained to the doctor how privileged I felt to be offered the opportunity to be in the delivery room, and assured him I would be discreet about it, but really I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.
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