Then Comes Baby

by Helen Brenna

  He jumped onto Jamis’s lap and settled. Jamis scratched under the dog’s collar and behind his ears and Snickers threw his head back onto Jamis’s chest and breathed a heavy and contented sigh.

  “Tell me something, Snick,” Jamis whispered. “Do you ever miss them?”

  As if the memories were too much for him, the dog hopped back down to the deck and wagged his tail expectantly. “All right. Fine. Go.” Jamis nodded toward the woods. “Go on. Get out of here.”

  The dog scampered quickly down the steps and trampled through the woods. Jamis knew the moment he’d reached them.

  “Snickers!” It was her voice, Natalie’s, filled with sincere joy. “Isn’t he the cutest thing? Watch out for the fire. His tail!”

  Then it seemed as if the whole group joined in squealing, talking, laughing.

  “Snickers, lie down.”

  “His nose is wet.”

  “And cold.”

  “Kisses. Kisses.” Natalie blubbered on and on. “I love you, too. Yes, I do. Lie down. Good boy.”

  Jamis would’ve bet anything Snickers was lying at Natalie’s feet, but he wondered if the little girl was still frightened of the dog. Curiosity getting the better of him, Jamis moved silently through the forest until he could see them and make out the quieter bits of their conversation. The moment he saw Natalie’s face lit by the fire, he stopped. He wouldn’t have thought it possible. He’d thought sunlight and blue skies would put her wholesome beauty at its best advantage. But he couldn’t have been more wrong.

  She might look like an angel in daylight, but at night with golden firelight flickering in her eyes and shadows dancing around her, that innocent angel had turned into a sultry and mysterious she-devil. The angles of her face. The shape of her shoulders. Her lips.

  Five long years he’d been without a woman. For the first year after Katherine had left him, he’d been sorely tempted by anything with long legs, but hadn’t wanted to add any more fuel to her flame. These past four years, he could not have cared less. He’d seen women in town, some pretty, some gorgeous, some on the beach in bikinis baring a lot of skin, but not once had he regretted isolating himself. Not once had he imagined touching a woman’s skin, her lips, her waist, her…

  With a hard-on pressing against his jeans, he closed his eyes. You have no right to step into her world. Your touch would at best taint her, at worst destroy her. But he could watch, couldn’t he? From a distance.

  He leaned up against the nearby tree. She’d made a fire pit, arranging a ring of rocks around a nice-size blaze and a couple of fallen logs for seating. Although he was just out of the ring of light, he could see their faces, illuminated by the red-orange glow of the fire. It was chilly tonight and they all sat close. All of them except for the teenage boy.

  Snick was indeed at Natalie’s feet, but she was sitting on a log and out of reach. The youngest girl, on the other hand, was sitting on a folded blanket, her legs crossed. She was inching away from the dog, but the more she tried to get away from him, the more pathetically he begged for her attention. First a nose to her hand. Then a lick on a finger. Then a whole head nudged slowly under her arm.

  He rested his chin on her leg and waited, his tail thumping expectantly every time she glanced down at him. Finally, she tentatively touched his forehead and Jamis could’ve sworn he heard the dog sigh with delight.

  “So where were we?” Natalie asked. “Oh, yeah. Highs and lows this week. Arianna, it’s your turn.”

  “My grandma gave me and Ella both ten dollars for spending money,” the one who must be named Arianna said. “She’s never given us money before.”

  “That’s pretty exciting,” Natalie said.

  “But,” the girl went on, her voice a little sad, “it has to last for the whole summer.”

  “I didn’t get any money,” said one of the boys.

  “Me, neither.”

  “Who’s got the chocolate chips cookies?”

  “You’ve already had two.”

  “So?”

  “Hey, hey. I made them for everyone. Pass them around.” That was Natalie. “As for money this summer, you’ll all have the chance to earn some when we sell our crafts in town. The nicer they look, the more money you’ll make. It’ll be your money. You’ll get to decide how much to save and how much to spend.”

  What kind of camp was this?

  “Toni, how ’bout you?” Natalie asked. “Is there anything you’d like to share?”

  “Hmm.” The little girl made a small sound. “I guess my high was coming here. And my low.” She paused. “I don’t know.”

  “It couldn’t have been easy leaving another foster home,” Natalie said, nudging her.

  Foster home?

  “I’m used to it,” the little girl said.

  The circle around the fire fell silent.

  “Anyone missing home yet?”

  “Are you serious?”

  “As if.”

  “Galen? Do you have anything you’d like to share?”

  “No.”

  “You sure?”

  “Trust me. No one around this fire wants to hear what I have to say.”

  “Get off it, Galen.” That sounded like the teenage girl. “Every single one of us was handed a shitty deal. What makes you think you’re so special?”

  The circle around the fire turned quiet again.

  “Okay. You want to hear my high for the week?” He paused. “That was when my mom kicked me out of the house. She locked all the windows and put chains on the doors. I had to break one of my bedroom windows to get some clothes for this stupid camp.”

  He threw a piece of wood onto the fire. “By the time I get back from this camp, I won’t have anything to come back to. Even if she is still living in that dump, she’ll have sold all my shit. You know what happened to that money you gave me for some clothes, Natalie? My mom stole it.” He looked away. “That enough sharing for you guys?”

  Great. This was a camp for disadvantaged kids. Just what Jamis needed next door, a do-gooder and her do-goodees.

  “Galen,” Natalie said. “For the summer you can forget about what’s happening at home. What’s important for you right now is what’s happening here.”

  The boy grunted and looked away. “Whatever.”

  “I’d like each of you to think about what you’d like to get out of this summer,” Natalie said. “You don’t have to share it with me or anyone else, but after you’ve spent some time thinking about it, I want you to visualize those hopes coming true.” She closed her eyes and Jamis couldn’t keep from staring at her face, at the conviction and determination lit by the flames of the fire. “See it. Wish it. Make it happen.”

  Holy hell. She believed. So many people dallied with the concept of making your wishes come true, but Natalie truly believed. She understood.

  “This summer is going to change all of us,” she whispered. “I believe.”

  He’d never told anyone what he’d done. He’d simply packed up and left, holing himself up in his cabin on Mirabelle and letting Chuck handle everything else, selling his furniture, art, cars and houses. Suddenly, Jamis felt chilled, as if his heart had stopped pumping warmth to every extremity. He didn’t belong out here at their campfire. He didn’t deserve to be sharing this night with good and decent people.

  As quietly as possible, he turned to head home. Snickers, naturally, chose that moment to hike into the woods and head directly for Jamis. The moment the dog found him, he barked and jumped up.

  “Jamis?” Natalie said. “Is that you out there?”

  Jamis froze and waited.

  “What if it’s a wolf,” one of the younger boys said, his voice laced with a wickedly mischievous undertone. “Or a bear?”

  “Stop it, Chase,” Natalie said. “Snickers? Who’s out there?”

  “Do raccoons eat dogs?” the littlest girl asked, nervously looking over her shoulder.

  “Could be a coyote,” another one of the boys teased.

 
He had to show himself, or risk scaring the whole crew. “It’s me,” Jamis said, moving through the brush and stepping into the firelight. “Sorry to interrupt. I was looking for the dog.”

  “Jamis!” Natalie said. “Join us. We have more cocoa.” She held up a thermos.

  “No, that’s okay.” Suddenly, he wished he was alone out here with Natalie. The firelight, the moon, the stars. Talk about a glutton for punishment.

  “Jamis, are there wolves here?” the littlest asked, looking up at him.

  Her small voice clutching at his emotions, he refused to let her name settle in his mind, let alone his heart. “No,” he whispered. “No wolves or bears on the island.”

  “You sure?” asked one of the older girls.

  “Positive. We only have deer. There’s nothing in these woods that would hurt you.” As far as he knew. Wolves and bear had been known to cross the ice during the winter looking for food, but since there’d been no sightings all these years there was no point in frightening the kids.

  “Sit down. Join us.” Natalie smiled at him. “I’ll make you a s’more.”

  He glanced around at the young faces illuminated in the flickering firelight and felt something chip away at the frozen shell of his heart. There seemed to be no turning back. “A s’more sounds nice.” He sat on the ground next to Snickers.

  “Why do you live out here?” one of the boys asked. “All alone?”

  “Because I like it.” Jamis watched Natalie put a marshmallow at the end of her stick and set it over the fire.

  “Don’t you get lonely?” the girl next to him asked.

  “I’ve got Snickers.”

  “Jamis is a writer.” Natalie turned the marshmallow.

  He wished she hadn’t said that.

  “What do you write?” the oldest girl asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

  “Books.”

  “What kind of books?” the little girl asked.

  “They’re…horror stories.”

  The boys grinned and nodded.

  “Dude,” one said.

  “Sweet,” said another.

  “Any of them ever been made into movies?” the oldest boy asked.

  “Yeah. A couple.”

  “No shit? Which ones?”

  “I don’t remember.”

  “How can you not remember?”

  “I know,” Natalie said. “Bring the Night. Nothing to Lose. Lock and Load.”

  “You’re Quinn Roberts!” said the oldest boy. “Awesome. I’ve read most of your books.”

  The marshmallow Natalie roasted was a toasty brown. She stuck it between two graham crackers and chocolate and handed it to him.

  “Suddenly, I’m not very hungry.” He held it out.

  “I’ll take it!” One of the younger boys reached out his hand.

  “Why did they change the ending on Lock and Load?”

  “No spoilers!” Natalie announced. “I plan on reading the book.”

  He was counting on it. That story was just what she needed to put him in perspective, and then maybe she’d rethink having her camp next to a madman. He glanced at the teenager. “I don’t know. Never saw it.”

  “You don’t watch your own movies?”

  He shook his head. “Don’t read my own books, either.” Once he sent the manuscripts off to his agent, he never wanted to revisit those characters or their pathetic lives again.

  “Where do you come up with your ideas?” the teenage girl asked.

  He didn’t want to talk about this. Him. His books. “I don’t know. They’re just there. In my head.” Except for now. Now he could really use an idea.

  “I’ve read your books, too,” the girl said. “There’s almost a spiritual quality to some of them. Like your last one, House of Reign.”

  Spiritual quality? He almost laughed. That was a good one. Across the fire he caught Natalie’s gaze and he quickly looked away. Writing about a man whose life was destroyed even as his every wish came true had damned near killed Jamis.

  “You know it’s getting late,” Natalie said, glancing at her watch. “Time for bed, guys.”

  A few of the kids groaned. A few yawned in quiet acceptance. The little girl glanced at Jamis. “Will you and Snickers walk us up to our house?”

  The request took him by surprise, and before Jamis could refuse, Snickers was already following the other kids. Now he had no choice. “Yeah, I’ll walk you up,” he said, standing. “Snickers needs to stretch his legs before we go to bed.” His heart almost stopped when the girl reached out and laced her small fingers through his. The small hand. Warm and soft. He looked down at her and immediately regretted ever having come outside in the first place tonight.

  While he was pulled along down the path, Natalie put out the fire. By the time they reached the steps of the Victorian, she’d caught up with them. As all the kids ran into the house, she called, “Everyone brush your teeth and get ready for bed. I’ll be up in a minute to say good-night.”

  The interior lights flicked on and footsteps pounded up the stairs as she turned to Jamis. Suddenly his hand felt empty and cold. He shouldn’t be here, in the dark with a beautiful woman. Not with the yearning for simple touch he felt coursing through him. The need. The want for her warm hands on his skin. He should’ve been turned off by her too-good-to-be-true nature, instead he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from her lips.

  Go, Jamis. For her sake. Get as far away as you can. “Good night, Natalie.” He spun away. “Snickers, come.”

  “Jamis?”

  He turned, held himself back. One of his favorite smells, wood smoke, emanated from her hair along with something else, something sweet like chocolate. He wished he could bury his face in the long blond curls and breathe her in.

  “Why are you hiding on Mirabelle?” she whispered.

  No one had ever asked him that. He supposed everyone had assumed he was despondent after the accident. He had been, but there was a bigger reason. A reason he wasn’t sure he could share. Not now. Maybe not ever. “Who says I’m hiding?”

  She came down the steps and met him in the grass. “Me.”

  “I’m not a nice man, Natalie. The world is a much better place with me out of the way.”

  “I think you’re wrong. I think inside here,” she said, pressing a fingertip to his chest, “there’s a good man hiding away.”

  It was all he could do to keep from stepping forward and leaning into her touch. He grabbed her fingers and held them for a moment before noticing a face, one of the kids, peering out from the window and watching. Slowly, he pushed her hand away. “You might know what’s inside most men, but not me,” he said softly. “Have you read my book yet?”

  “No.”

  “Do it. Then you’ll get a glimpse of the real Jamis Quinn.”

  And then you’ll despise me, want nothing to do with me, and the world’s balance will be set right again.

  JAMIS’S BOOK SAT ON Natalie’s bedside table, as yet unopened. Every night since she’d started this camp, thoroughly exhausted, she’d all but collapsed onto the bed. Tonight, though, curiosity had kept her awake. She sat up with her laptop in front of her and stared at the newspaper headline on the screen, tears pooling in her eyes.

  Author Quinn Roberts’s Wife and Children Killed

  Having searched and pored through everything she could find on the Internet regarding Jamis after she’d gotten ready for bed, she’d finally found details of a horrific car accident in an old online article. Now that she read the headline, she remembered all those years ago having heard something about the incident, but not bothering to pay attention to the details.

  Now she read that his children, Caitlin and Justin, ages three and one, had been killed at the scene. Their mother, Katherine, had made it to the hospital before succumbing to her extensive internal injuries. Jamis had suffered a concussion as well as a broken arm and leg, three broken ribs and a lacerated liver. His children had been little more than babies.

 
Although no charges were expected, sketchy accounts claimed icy road conditions may have played a role in a semitrailer carrying heavy equipment broadsiding the Quinn vehicle in the middle of a busy intersection. The truck driver had walked away with only minor injuries. The only survivors from the Mercedes had been Jamis and a lucky little puppy, a tricolored mutt.

  Snickers.

  Oh, Jamis.

  Flicking off the lamp, she snuggled under the covers and glanced out the open window and through the woods. A lone light shone through the trees. He was still awake. Instinct had her wanting to run over to his cabin right then and there to comfort and heal him. Make that damaged man whole again. Only she had to admit, if only to herself, that there was something else going on inside her, something not entirely altruistic.

  When she’d touched his chest earlier that night after he’d walked them back from the fire, the urge to kiss him had welled up from some deep and primal place inside her and that urge had little to do with taking care of Jamis and nothing at all to do with wanting to be neighborly. She could feel it, her own heavy yearning. She wanted Jamis for herself. She wanted to feel his hands on her body, his mouth on her lips. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

  A girl couldn’t be all good all of the time. Apparently, Jamis wasn’t the only one with a dark side.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  “OKAY, DAD.” CHASE groaned into the phone after dinner a few nights later. “Yes, we’re behaving. I swear. Ask Natalie.”

  Natalie stood by the sink helping Ella dry the dishes Arianna was washing and listened to the one-sided conversation in case there was anything with which the boys might need help. Both boys looked forward to what they’d hoped would be twice-weekly conversations with their dad over the summer, but after a few minutes they were antsy to get moving. Arianna and Ella, on the other hand, had proved they could stay on the phone for hours in their conversations with their grandmother.

  “Okay. Okay. Here’s Blake.” Chase handed the phone to his brother.

  “Hey, Dad, how’s it going?” Blake leaned up against the wall. “I’m good, good.” Then he went into a long and excited explanation of everything he’d been doing since their last conversation.