Then Comes Baby

by Helen Brenna

  “I’ll take it.”

  He took her hand and drew her into his cabin. The moment the door closed behind them, she unzipped her jacket and shrugged it off. Next came her shirt, then her jeans, her socks. He stood there watching, frozen, just a man wanting a woman. When she reached behind her to unsnap her bra, he came to life. No more fear. Not tonight. Tonight, holding nothing back, he wanted to make love.

  “Wait.” He stilled her hands. “Let me look at you.” He trailed his fingertips along her collarbone, her arm, her waist, then back up to rest on her lips. She looked like an angel, pale and perfect. Even her bra and thong were white, almost virginal. Goose bumps broke out on her skin. “You’re cold.”

  “No.”

  He entangled his fingers with hers, unsure of how to proceed. Although once upon a time, he’d gained confidence and proficiency in pleasuring women, he’d never been close to a ladies’ man. Suddenly, he felt awkward and clumsy as if this was the first time.

  “Jamis?”

  “I—”

  She silenced him with a kiss as soft as it was sweet, as slow as it was warm. A touch of her tongue. Her hands kneading his chest, his shoulders and instinct took hold. He unsnapped her bra, tore off her thong with a quick tug and devoured the sight of her. The curves of her hips, her breasts, even the angle of her shoulders.

  Reverently, he touched her, savoring every one of those curves, from breasts to bottom, from waist to face, from neck to back and all over again. Then he couldn’t stop himself. He reached lower and touched the wet, swollen spot between her thighs. He groaned and sucked in a breath. “So very, very sweet.”

  She pulsed against his fingers and let out a shaky sigh, and then she took her turn discovering him. Her hands took over, on his stomach and chest, his arms and his neck. Anxious and needy, she worked the fly on his jeans. She pushed away the knit fabric of his boxers and cupped his erection.

  “No,” he groaned and jerked away. “You touch me and it’ll be over.”

  She pulled him down to the rug in front of the fire and then pushed him onto his back. That’s when the virginal angel turned into every inch the wanton devil. Naked, she straddled his waist. He closed his eyes, hoping to contain himself. Then she kissed him, moved over him and before he understood her plan, she eased down on him with her wet warmth and took him inside.

  “Oh, Natalie.” He jerked and moaned. “Stop. Don’t.”

  She moved, slowly, purposefully in a primal rhythm, and when he opened his eyes, took in the sight of her, mouth slightly parted, eyelids heavy with lust, breasts moving with her every thrust, he was lost. Pulling her hips down to meet him, he thrust hard inside her one last time, in a pulsing, thorough, complete release.

  She ground against him, dragging out the agonizingly sweet intensity until he thought he’d go mad. “Nat, stop,” he rasped, putting his hands on her hips and holding her still as he caught his breath.

  He opened his eyes and looked into the face of a triumphant woman. “You planned that, didn’t you?”

  She smiled, a leisurely curve of kiss-reddened lips, before smoothing out his brow. “I wanted to do that for you.”

  “I’ve told you over and over,” he murmured, “I am not a man who needs to be fixed. I’m not a charity case. Don’t get me wrong. That was…amazing, thrilling and damned hot, but not what I wanted for you.”

  “No?” She grinned at him.

  “No.”

  “Then show me.”

  He lifted her off him and grabbed a heavy blanket and lay back down with her in front of the fire. Now that his urgent need had been satisfied, he could take his time. He leaned over her and kissed her. He lingered at her mouth, her lips. Trailed his tongue down her neck and stopped at her breasts. “This is what I want from you.”

  She moaned and arched toward him as he took first one breast then the other, drawing her nipples into his mouth. All the while, he felt tension mounting inside him. By the time he moved past her stomach, he was hard again. Spreading her knees, he lingered between her legs, licking, sucking, dipping his fingers into her heavenly wetness. And loved her. In only a moment or two, she was squirming. Over and over she whispered his name.

  “Come,” he whispered.

  “No. You. Inside me.”

  The need to own her coursed through him. He fought it and failed. Moving up and over her, he entered her slowly, deliberately, lovingly. He moved with her until she whimpered and moaned as momentum gathered for them both.

  She wrapped her legs around him, gripped him and he watched her sweet, beautiful face as she flew apart around him. “Jamis!” she cried.

  But he wouldn’t let himself go yet. Not yet. He took her again, watched the desire spiraling within her and then, and only then, he came inside her. A moment later, nearly spent, he collapsed over her, his lips at the hollow beneath her ear, his fingers entwined with hers above her head.

  “Was that more of what you had in mind?” she whispered, a smile in her voice.

  “We’re getting there.” He kissed her. “But I have one night to make up for five long years, and if I can help it I’m not wasting a minute of it sleeping.”

  FINALLY, JAMIS HAD FALLEN asleep. Curled next to him, Natalie studied his profile backlit by the red-orange flames in the fireplace. Without a single worry line on his face, he looked almost happy. Surely, he appeared peaceful and satisfied, not at all the tortured soul he was when awake. She barely kept herself from outlining his lips with a fingertip, from running her hands along his soft cheek, from entangling her fingertips in the mat of hair on his chest, a chest that rose and fell in a contented rhythm.

  What in the world did you do, Natalie?

  Again, she’d miscalculated. She’d come here to make love to Jamis, hoping against hope she might bring him back to life. Instead, he’d turned the tables. He’d made love to her, lifted her up and rocked her world. He’d filled a hole in her heart, a hole she’d never before admitted to herself that she’d had. He’d been right. He didn’t need to be fixed, and she could see herself wanting much, much more than three months of Jamis.

  As she tucked herself next to him and closed her eyes, she realized she loved every crazy thing about him. His intensity, his sardonic grin, that look in his eyes that always made her wonder what he was thinking, the curiously easy way he had with her kids. Even his sarcasm. There was no doubt about it. She’d fallen in love with Jamis. Easily. Effortlessly.

  So where was the fatal flaw?

  Could it be there wasn’t one?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  NATALIE AWOKE TO A stream of harsh sunlight hitting her in the face. Shielding her eyes, she rolled over to find Jamis gone. As memories of last night returned, she stretched and smiled. “Jamis?” she called. “Where are you?”

  Snickers ran down from the loft, came to her side and licked her hand. As she petted the dog’s head, she heard a cabinet closing only a moment before Jamis came downstairs. He was dressed in running clothes, and she wanted nothing more than to run into his arms.

  “What do you need, Natalie?”

  The instant the impassive look on his face registered, her heart sank. Last night’s magic was as cold as the ashes in the fireplace. “I wanted to see you.” Wrapping the blanket around her naked body, she stood. “To talk about last night.”

  “There’s not much to talk about, is there?”

  “I wanted to make sure we were okay.”

  “We’re fine. Why wouldn’t we be?” He spun away from her and put his coffee cup in the sink.

  “Jamis, don’t do this.”

  Leaning against the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest. “What is it that I’m doing?”

  She stomped into the kitchen and glared at him. “You can’t pretend that last night didn’t happen. That it wasn’t completely and wonderfully amazing.”

  “Last night was last night. And, yes, it was amazing. But you did your thing, Sunshine. You waved your magic wand over me. Voilà. I’m fixed. All bette
r. Now you can go back to Minneapolis tomorrow with a clear conscience. Okay?” He glared at her. “You even got a baby out of the bargain.”

  “Wha—Oh!” She growled. “You’re such an asshole.”

  “Really? Here I thought I was stating the facts.”

  “That’s not fair. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant the first time, and last night wasn’t about me trying to fix you.”

  “Then what do you want? A long-distance affair? Phone sex and e-mails? Happily ever after? I’m confused.”

  “I want you. For me. And this morning—”

  “A lot of things become clear in the light of day.”

  “I want to keep seeing you. I want you to be a part of our baby’s life. Part of my life. I want to find out where this goes.”

  “I can tell you right now where we go without all the hassle of tears and fights and broken hearts. I’ve made my situation perfectly clear to you. Why is this a problem?”

  She closed her eyes. “Because you…you can’t just walk away.”

  “I’m not the one who’ll be doing the walking,” he said, leveling his gaze on her. “You will be. That’s been your plan all summer long. Last night changed nothing. Nothing!”

  It had changed everything, but she had a sick feeling in her gut that there wasn’t anything she could say that would make him admit to it. “So that’s it? You’re just going to hide away here on Mirabelle forever?”

  “Actually, no.” He looked away. “I’ll be gone before you return next summer. As soon as I can find my own island, I’ll be moving.”

  Anger built inside her. How could he simply throw away what they might have together? How could he do this? “You know if you didn’t have any feelings for me,” she bit out, “I’d be okay with this, but you’re lying, Jamis. To me. To yourself. I know what I saw in your eyes last night when you touched me. When you kissed me. When you came inside me. That look was not the look of a man merely releasing pent-up sperm.”

  That was when it came to her. What this was really all about.

  “You’re afraid,” she whispered. “Afraid you might want me too much. Afraid to feel. Afraid you’re going to fall in love with me. Then what? I’ll hurt you, right? The way Katherine did? The way Caitlin’s and Justin’s deaths did? Do you think I’m going to die? Leave you? Use you?”

  He spun away, refusing to look at her.

  “This isn’t one of your books, Jamis. Neither of us knows what’s going to happen next. You think I’m not scared? You think this is easy for me?”

  “A helluva lot easier for you than for me,” he ground out. “I’m just another fixer-upper to you. You’ll just screw around with me until you think I’m all better, claim I have some flaw that’ll make it impossible for you to commit to me and then toss me out the door.”

  She was right. He was scared to fall in love again. She walked toward him. “Not this time, Jamis. You’re different.” She stroked his cheek. “Because I love you.”

  He groaned as if a jagged knife was cutting him inside out. “Well then, there’s your fatal flaw.” He stepped back. “I can never love you back.” He took off for the door. “Snickers, come!” he called. When the dog didn’t budge, Jamis took off running through the woods without him.

  AFTER HAVING RUN ALL the way around the island, Jamis stopped on the side of the dirt road by his house and bent to catch his breath. He’d run so fast and so far that his lungs were burning and his legs nearly gave out from under him, but he couldn’t run away from the memory of Natalie’s expression when he’d told her he could never love her back.

  She couldn’t have looked more hurt than if he’d sucker punched her. Her skin had turned ashy white and her lips parted as if she might gag. It’d killed him to see her reaction, but he’d had to say it. For her sake. Now she could leave, move on and raise her baby with a clear conscience and without him.

  “This is for her,” he whispered. “For her.”

  IT WAS THEIR LAST FULL day on Mirabelle. As Natalie and the kids readied for their departure, cleaning and packing things away, a curious mix of emotions swirled through the house. Sam, Ryan and Toni fell quiet and seemed sadly resigned to the end of summer. Galen, on the other hand, was angry. He didn’t show it. He didn’t speak about it, but Natalie could feel it like a river’s current under layers of ice.

  Late in the afternoon, Natalie had gotten a call from the social services department back home, letting her know she’d been approved as a foster parent for Sam, Ryan and Toni. Galen, though, was going to be a problem as his mother had clear custody and she wasn’t about to relinquish her rights. On the bright side, he turned sixteen in a month. His age, coupled with the fact that his mother was on probation for dealing drugs, might be enough to convince a judge that Galen would be better off with Natalie. While she was excited about the news, she was also nervous about how her foster home idea would be received.

  A somber mood had settled around the less than normally hectic dinnertime and had only grown heavier as the night progressed. “I think we should have one last campfire,” Natalie said, putting thoughts of Jamis firmly out of her mind and focusing on the kids. Everything was packed and ready to go. In the morning, they’d have breakfast and head to town to catch a ferry to the mainland. “What do you say?”

  “Yeah!” Toni said.

  “Okay,” Sam and Ryan said in unison.

  Galen glanced at her.

  “Come on, guys. Let’s go.” She took off outside and headed for the fire pit.

  By this time, they all knew the drill. Once the blaze was going, Natalie poked the fire with a stick. Had she done the right thing? Had this camp accomplished its objective? For Sam, it seemed as if it had, but what about the others? She glanced at each one of the faces illuminated by the flickering firelight and was happy to see Ryan had put on some weight.

  No one seemed to want to talk, but, regardless of what their reactions might be, she had to throw her foster home idea out there. “I have a question for you guys,” she said. “What did you think of this summer? What did you think of living with me?”

  Sam glanced up and frowned. “I had a good summer. I’m glad I came. I’ll miss you.”

  “Same,” Toni said, her voice small.

  “Same.” Ryan threw a handful of leaves on the fire and they crackled and exploded into flames. “But I don’t want to go home. I want to stay here. With you. All of you.”

  Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the little boy who’d rarely spoken more than a handful of words all summer long.

  “Galen? What about you?”

  He picked up a rock and threw it into the woods. “I don’t want to go home, either.”

  Natalie took a deep breath. “What if…none of you had to go back to the places you were living before we started this camp?”

  All four heads turned in her direction, but no one said anything for several moments.

  “Do you mean stay here?” Sam asked.

  “I mean…coming to live with me in the house my grandmother left me in Minneapolis,” Natalie said tentatively. “You wouldn’t have to if you don’t want to. It’s just a suggestion. I have enough room. It’s a big house.”

  “Like a foster home?” Sam asked.

  “Yes,” Natalie said. “If you want, I could be your foster mom.”

  “All of us,” Toni asked.

  “Even me?” Ryan said.

  Galen looked away. He was old enough and smart enough to understand it wasn’t going to be so easy for him.

  “Well,” Natalie said, careful with her response, “Sam, Toni and Ryan have already been approved. Galen’s situation is a little more complicated.”

  “My mom will never let me go,” he said, his anger apparent.

  “But if you can prove you’re better off without your mom, you may have grounds for what’s called emancipation of a minor,” Natalie said. “And then you can decide for yourself where you want to live.”

  For the first time all day, the wor
ry lines on his face cleared, his anger dissipated. “Do you really think that’ll work?”

  “I do, Galen. And if you want to live with me, I’ll fight for you,” Natalie said. “So do you guys want me? Or not?”

  “I want you.” Toni came toward her and hugged her around the neck.

  “Same,” Ryan said, coming to her other side.

  Sam’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. “Yeah. You can foster mom me any time you want, Nat.”

  Everyone turned to Galen.

  “Are you kidding?” He shook his head and grinned. “What do you think I’ve been wishing for and visualizing all summer long?”

  All five of them fell into a group hug. The news of a baby on the way would wait for another day, but she had a feeling they would all make wonderful foster siblings.

  “What’s going to happen between you and Jamis?” Sam asked.

  “What do you mean?” Natalie said, feigning innocence.

  “You know what she means,” Galen said.

  Boy, am I in for trouble, Natalie thought ruefully. “I don’t know yet, but I can tell you there’s something I’m wishing for and visualizing on top of fostering you kids. I’d love for Jamis to be a part of our lives.” But it was going to have to be up to him. “That okay with you guys?”

  “Yeah,” Sam said.

  “He’s cool,” Ryan said.

  “Totally,” Toni said.

  Galen nodded, as if he understood better than any of them the possibilities. “You say when, though, and I’ll take him out.”

  YESTERDAY, JAMIS HAD watched the activity taking place next door. From the sounds of the music blaring through the open windows, there’d been cleaning and packing going on all day long. Now this morning, boxes and suitcases were being stacked on the porch. Natalie was sending a message, loud and clear. She and what was left of her crew were leaving today.

  He spun away from the sight of the Victorian and covered his face with his hands. He’d been unable to sleep more than an hour or two last night. All morning, he hadn’t been able to eat. His gut was a nauseous mess, his brain a disconnected stream of thoughts. He should go over there. No. He couldn’t. He should say goodbye. But how? And with what words? Even Snickers wasn’t himself. The way a dog knows something is going on, he’d been running back and forth between their two houses all morning, anxious and watchful.