Harkham's Case (Harkam's #1)

by Chanse Lowell

  “Ad-aaaaam,” she groaned. “Be your dad for one second.”

  “I can’t. He’s too smart for me.”

  “Be your dad without the book smarts then.” She turned toward him. “Think about how much this is going to hurt him.”

  “He’s an adult. He can take pain,” he said smoothly.

  What the hell else was she supposed to say? They were already on the freeway and had been driving a good thirty minutes now. They’d be out of Phoenix in about another twenty.

  They were going to blame her. Everyone.

  And she couldn’t blame them.

  “If we’re doing this—I’m going on birth control. Until then, you’ll use condoms,” she said devoid of emotion.

  “I’ll only use a condom when you’re fertile. The rest of the time—no. You’re my wife. I can fuck you bare when there’s no risk of pregnancy, even if I don’t like that you’re avoiding my sperm when your body wants it most.”

  She sucked in a tight, winded breath. “What are you talking about? When I’m fertile? How am I supposed to know that? I’m not going to take an ovulation prediction test each time I wanna get laid.”

  He let go of the wheel and popped his knuckles, then put them back on. “It’s simple, really. I’ve been reading all about the woman’s body and how it works. There’s only a week each month you can conceive. That means I’ll only have to endure about a dozen condoms or so.”

  She shook her head at him. “A dozen? Why a dozen?”

  “’Cause most days I’ll want to both fuck and make love. You’ll get one in the morning and the other in the evening. It’ll start and end the day in the best way possible.”

  “Wouldn’t that be fourteen condoms then?” She had to chuckle. Why was she engaging him in this crazy conversation?

  “No. Sometimes we won’t be able to have intercourse twice. Due to factors like my family, or maybe if one of us is super tired or sick. I’m allowing for a margin of error.”

  She laughed. “So, not getting some is called a margin of error. I see.” She nodded along like she was on to something here.

  “Yeah. What would you call it?”

  “Oh, I don’t know—life, maybe?” Her lips pulled up to the right, and she shrugged that accompanying shoulder.

  “Not life. No. It’s death. Because I about die when I can’t be intimate with you. Please, Mari. Be mine in every way. Stop making things so difficult for us.” His hands slid down the wheel to the bottom of it.

  “I’m not doing anything. I’m only trying to keep the peace with your family. They love you, and they care about your future. For some stupid-ass reason, they seem to sorta care about mine, too. I don’t wanna fuck that up because I’m horny as hell and too lame to make the right decisions.” Her voice went hoarse. “They’re important to you, so they’re important to me. If I don’t treat them right, then I can’t really call myself a good girlfriend, or a good anything, can I?”

  “Yes, you can. You’re always good. And sometimes I don’t like that. Makes me feel inferior.”

  “Okay, fine. To you, I’m perfect somehow.”

  “You are.” He leaned toward her and stole a quick kiss.

  She hummed. How did he do this? He was so goddamned charming and intelligent, it was hard to see anything but his logic on these matters.

  “Tonight you’ll spread your legs in the bed. I’ll crawl on top of you and put my very hard dick inside you—where it wants to be. We’ll be in a hotel room, so if it’s really messy for my first time, no one’s going to know.” He gave her a look like she had to know this was a sound plan.

  “You’ve thought this all through, huh? Right down to our Elvis impersonator who’ll officiate our haphazard wedding?”

  “Not Elvis—yuck!”

  “Who then? Daffy Duck?” She giggled at the dorky, grossed-out faces he was making.

  “No animals and no fat, sweaty singers.”

  “Well, that pretty much rules out half of Vegas. All we’ll have left is the hookers.” How appropriate for her. She swept her tongue over her lips. All this marriage talk had her mouth extremely dry.

  Mari cringed as they passed by the outlet malls. They were close to the outskirts of town now.

  It was amazing his phone hadn’t been ringing like crazy at this point with his brother and sister trying to track him down.

  Maybe they thought he’d gone home for the day and had heard about the bit of trouble Mari and Adam had run into while in class?

  She scrubbed her face with her hands. This was all so surreal.

  An amazing boyfriend of hers was so crazy about her, he was dying to marry her. How did this happen? It couldn’t be her life. It simply couldn’t!

  “Circque du Soleil? The Blue Man group? Harry Potter?” she guessed. “Are they worthy to marry us?”

  He made another squished up face. “No, silly girl. They don’t know what it means to be in love and want to marry.”

  “Based on what?” She had to laugh again. His mind was beyond fascinating.

  “A magician. Only they would understand,” he answered.

  She took a breath, and it was so harsh, it hit her legs, making them clammy for a moment. “What does a magician understand that they don’t?”

  “Think about it, sweetheart.”

  She did, but nothing was making any sense. “I’m at a loss.”

  He made a frisky grin, baring his teeth. “They know what it’s like to want to disappear. To make things appear different than they are, because they don’t want to be afraid anymore. They want to hide in plain sight. They know how to keep people’s eyes on one spot, when really other things, much better things, are happening where they can’t see. That’s what we’re gonna have. It’s magic.”

  “My God,” she said with a sigh. “That’s deep.”

  “Thank you. I like magic.”

  “I do, too, but I never thought of being married like magic in that sense.”

  “Of course you didn’t. You’re too worried about not getting kicked out of my dad’s house. I’m making sure that doesn’t happen.”

  Her spine stiffened. “Wait a minute!” Her heart about stopped altogether. She gripped his arm. “Adam, look at me.”

  He did, but very briefly, and there was a ton of guilt there.

  “You’re not doing this solely because of sex?”

  He pulled his lips into his mouth and didn’t answer.

  “No, honey—you’re not marrying me just so your dad can’t ever kick me out. That’s so wrong.”

  “Why is it?” he blurted, his voice cracking.

  “Because that’s not a good reason to tie the knot.” Her hands smacked together. “Turn around.”

  “I won’t. I want this.”

  “I don’t.”

  He shook his head. “You do. You only think that right now because you’re mad.”

  “Damn straight I am—mad at myself that I could be such a moron!”

  “You’re never that. Don’t say bad things about yourself.” He bit his bottom lip. His eyes twitched and watered.

  “Adam Latham! I’m a freaking idiot because I didn’t see the minute you pulled me out into this car it was to protect me. You’re scared to death of what kind of power your dad holds over you. Well, I’m telling you, he’s not going to hurt us—either of us. It’s not gonna happen.”

  “How do you know?” Tears streaked down his cheeks.

  He clutched at his chest, fisting his shirt directly over his heart.

  “Please, sweetie, don’t make me say it.”

  “I don’t understand why you think we’re safe. They want a reason to make you leave me like my mom did. They want you to abandon me.” His voice was rough and his cheeks really wet now.

  “And they also know that if they shove you too hard, you’ll shove back even harder—knocking them over.” He winced. She reached out and stroked his hair, then continued talking. “Not because you’re mean, but because you know what it means to sustain serious
loss. Anyone will tell you if you take a baby away from a mama animal, they’ll tear the intruder to shreds.”

  He giggled. “I’m not your mama.”

  “No, but our relationship is still in its infancy. You’re protective of it, and you should be.”

  “I’m not turning around,” he said, but he worded it like a question.

  “You do whatever you want. I’m sure you’ll make the right choice. You always do.” She took a deep breath. “I know this about you. Your dad knows this about you, which is why he supports us together now. And Dr. Harkham knows this about you most of all.” She let her head drop onto her seatbelt on her right so it would support her. Her mind was whirling. This was a mess.

  “Take a nap. We’ve got a few hours to go,” he told her, his voice tight.

  So she did. What else did she have to do before she had to argue with him in a tacky Vegas church in front of Chris Angel?

  * * *

  “I do,” Adam said, pushing on Mari to rouse her.

  “You do what?” she asked, her voice thick and groggy while she rubbed her eyes.

  It was still daylight. Soon he hoped the sun would go down so his real life could start. “That’s what you have to practice saying. That’s what I’m going to hear in a few hours.”

  Her annoyed look was back. “I don’t need to practice, Adam.”

  “It’s always a good idea to practice. Magicians have to practice.”

  “So, that means because our marriage will be a magic trick, where we have to constantly hide what we are, I have to practice?”

  “Yeah.” She was so smart. He beamed at her.

  He got out of the car and pumped some gas, whistling as he went about his task. It was a nice day. Not too bad at all for the middle of fall in Arizona. In fact, the weather was perfect. He knew this was the perfect day to get married. It was all around him—proof this was the right exact time to do it.

  When he was done filling up the tank, he ran inside the convenience store and bought himself a Dr. Pepper and her a bottled water, along with a few snacks. Road trips were always better with munchies.

  “I have a story for you,” she said when he was back in the car.

  “Is it a magic story?” He checked his rearview mirror and backed out, then left the gas station.

  “Not exactly, but it’s a true story and has some bearing on what you want to do today.” She unscrewed the lid on her water bottle.

  “First, I want to tell you something.”

  She gave a tiny, sad little sigh. “What—did your family all call and ream you out?”

  “They did, but I told them you and I were out on a date and not to worry.”

  “Oh, Jesus. Lying again. I don’t like that you’re doing that to them. It’s disrespectful.”

  He took a big gulp of his soda. Even the fizziness wasn’t enough to settle his stomach. Why was she struggling with his marriage concept so much? “It’s necessary and only temporary. Everyone lies at some point.”

  “True, but you don’t have to—that’s what bothers me so much about it.” She paused and gave him a searching look. “Plus, you and I agreed we weren’t going to do that anymore, remember?”

  He nodded. “I’d like to say I don’t care about any of that, but then that would be lying to you. I do care what you think—about everything. Please don’t worry about me, okay? You don’t need to be stressed about any of this. As your husband, I’ll take care of everything.” He glanced at her from the side of his eye, hoping she wasn’t too disappointed in him. His heart couldn’t take that.

  “I think it’s time for that story now.”

  He nodded and kept his soda between his legs so he could get it quicker.

  “There was this couple in high school a long time ago. They loved each other quite a bit, but neither of their families approved. He was a partier and liked to drink. She was a good girl, very wholesome, but for some reason they couldn’t resist each other,” she said.

  “They sound like us in a way—only opposite.”

  “They were a lot like us in some of their circumstances. He broke up with her for her own good after a while, but she was heartbroken and never got over him. Anytime she’d see him, it would downright strip her heart down to the bottom.”

  “That’s impossible, but I think I know what you mean,” he said, his own heart racing a bit. Those poor people.

  “It wasn’t any better for him. He started drinking more, whoring around, but he kept obsessing about her. He knew he was bad for her, so he tried to stay away. He honestly tried very hard. But he was no good without her. His grades were slipping, and he was so miserable, he even contemplated killing himself at one point.”

  “Oh my!” Adam gasped. This was a very sad story. “Why is this depressing story good to hear on our wedding day? This is a happy moment for us. I don’t know why you’re sharing this.”

  “Because, I want you to hear what happened to them.”

  He nodded and swallowed down a bunch of his sugary drink, hoping it would help him cope better.

  “Well, eventually, they both gave in. They drove to Mexico without telling anyone what they were doing. They pulled two drunks off the street to witness their marriage, had sex in a cheap, garbage hotel and then drove home. No one knew that each night he snuck into her bedroom and was in her bed constantly until two months in, when they were caught. Her parents were livid and his own grandmother—a very religious, harsh woman—beat the shit out of him with a broom stick. She was a big woman, and even though he was a muscular guy, he refused to fight back.”

  “This is not good, Mari. I don’t like how they were treated.”

  “I’m not done,” she said, edging closer to him. “He should’ve gone to the hospital, because she did some serious damage, but he didn’t. They moved out that night—both of them—leaving their families behind. They wound up becoming apartment managers of some dumpy place for a few years, while she was spitting out babies right and left.”

  “Babies can be good.” His chest lifted, and his sad heart brightened.

  “They loved each other immensely, but their future was ruined because they got off on the wrong start. He struggled to provide for his family. Eventually, he was able to do some night classes and become a teacher, but he eventually went back to drinking. His drinking became a habit, and soon he turned abusive. He beat her and his kids regularly. She drank, too.”

  “Who are these people? Do you know them?” His heart twisted into a snarling rage. He didn’t like the way they made her sound so lost and heartbroken.

  “I never knew him—he died before I was born, but yes, they’re part of me. Part of my story. Those are my dad’s parents. His dad died in the street one night after a drunken bar fight. He was stabbed through the heart, leaving her a widow without much money or assets to feed her kids. She later died of cirrhosis, drinking herself to death because she was lonely and miserable with five kids to take care of on her own. She never cared much for me whenever I came around with my dad. She said I had that look of a lemon about me.”

  “Lemon look? What does that mean?”

  She sagged in her seat. “It meant that I looked like my life was sour, and I was sucking the joy out of it and others around me. She basically was saying I was a loser, just like her husband and my dad.”

  “But that’s not true!” His voice raised, and so did his spine.

  “I don’t care if that part’s true or not. What I care about is that we start our future off together in the right way. In the best way for you, for me, for our current and future family.”

  “I won’t ever hurt you or any kids we have. There’s no way I could do that,” he said.

  “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you without meaning to. Whether you like it or not, the world will expect you to be the sole provider of our family if we decide to have kids. That’s going to be difficult if we jump the gun and do everything backward. Don’t make me be the one you resent because we’re too impa
tient. Please, Adam—I’m begging you. Wait for the right timing, and I swear to you, we’ll have the kind of life that is filled with love for a really long time.”

  He pulled the car over on the shoulder of the freeway and stared in her eyes. “Mari Cole, you have to promise me right now that you’ll marry me.”

  “I will. Not today, but yes, I will marry you. I love you.” Her eyes softened. She reached out and took his hands in hers.

  “And you swear this is a promise you’ll keep? I can’t lose you and what we have,” he croaked through a lump in his throat.

  “You won’t. And I don’t need to swear—I already know we’ll be together. Wanna know why?”

  “Yes.” He dropped his head a little, then looked up at her through his lashes.

  “Because when you touch me, I feel it all the way to my toes. No one else has ever done that to me before, and I have way more to lose than you do.”

  His nose pushed up in a crinkled up mess. What did this mean?

  “You have my heart, and I can’t live without it, so if I want to live, I have to be with you.”

  That was all he needed to hear to turn that car around and head home.

  “I’m gonna keep it, too. You can’t have it back until you put a ring on my finger and say I do.”

  “Okay, Adam. I will.”

  Close enough. She could practice saying “I do” instead over the next few months.

  It would give her time to perfect it.

  He didn’t have to worry about his lines. He’d been saying them silently in his head on and off since the day she kissed him.

  “I will, too. You’ve made me live a life that I so love. And that’s not something I’ll ever give up.”

  He drove a little faster. Maybe he could find a way to make these next few months move quicker, too.

  It was worth a try, because she was worth it.

  Numbers were nothing to him anymore. All he knew was her.

  A PREVIEW FOR HARKHAM’S CHOICE, BOOK 2 IN THE HARKHAM’S SERIES

  Chapter 1

  A smile flashed across Mari’s face while she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. Her heart swelled, and she chuckled to herself as she considered how much happier she was now. How in God’s name had her life changed so much in two short months?