Tonight

by Nana Malone

  “What happened? Why didn’t you marry her?”

  “She ended it with me. Said I wasn’t ready.”

  “Why?” Deja pressed. Her poking and prodding at that old wound killed his mood.

  “I wasn’t. I...ah...” He sighed.

  “What? Just say it.”

  “I cheated on her. Okay?” he asked rather sharply.

  “Oh,” Deja said and he heard the disappointment in her voice.

  “She told me she could get over the infidelity. That we lived so far apart it wasn’t a complete shock to her. But she thought I did it on purpose. She thought I wanted to sabotage our happiness. At first I didn’t believe her. And after I lost her I knew she was right. So I’ve...kept my relationships light and unattached.”

  Deja didn’t respond. He could have put a spin on the breakup, or lied. Maybe he should have said that Carrie Anne was the cheater, or she came down with some terminal illness. He could’ve manipulated the facts the way he was doing with the cottage they were held up in. Keeping from her the truth of where they actually were. But he didn’t want to. Deja calmed him. She excited him. He felt possibilities and believed in them with her.

  “Excuse me,” she said. She stood.

  “Wait a second.” He took her hand and pressed a kiss to it. “I’m a bit screwed up.” He forced her to sit. “My father thinks I’m hopeless. My mother pretends she doesn’t see my issues and my brother makes more excuses for my faults than I do. I’m an adult, Deja. I know you took a risk on me tonight. I know you gave me something special. I want to know you. Really get to know you.”

  “Why?” she asked. “Will we date? Start a long-distance romance? How well did that fare with you and Carrie Anne?”

  Jon smiled. “We will go at any pace you say. We’ll do things your way. I’ll earn your trust.” He kissed her nose. “I’ll make you trust me,” he continued and pecked her lips with his. He pressed his lips to hers until she responded with the kiss he wanted and reclined on the sofa bringing him with her.

  He kissed her neck and face. And then he whispered in her ear. “Tell me about you. Were you ever engaged? Married?”

  She looked up at him and he could see her calculating the risk. She would have to decide how vulnerable she truly wanted to be with him. And then she smiled and the tension between them relaxed. He put his head to her breast and lay between her parted legs on the sofa listening to the soft rhythmic melody of her heart.

  “When I was in college I came close. His name was Jin.”

  “Jin? That sounds Asian?” Jon said.

  “Yes, he was Chinese. I went to UCLA. I’ve always dated in and out of my race. I just date who I’m attracted to, I guess. It’s not a conscious choice. I’ve dated and loved black men, too. Oh, God, I’m rambling,” she sighed.

  “It’s not rambling, beautiful. We’re talking. Tell me what happened to Jin?”

  “His mother,” she said with a chuckle. “She took one look at me and the wedding was off. End of story. He made an excuse of having to return to China to work for his father’s business and it not being the right time. But I knew he was lying. After Jin, I started dating men who weren’t as scholarly. The music scene is ripe in California, but even more eclectic and diverse in New York.”

  “Wait!” His head shot up. “You telling me you’re a groupie?”

  Deja laughed and hit at him playfully. “Not the kind you deal with, I’m sure. I like musicians, you like bimbos!”

  “Ouch! That hurt,” he said, grinning.

  “Sorry.” She rubbed his arm to soothe his ego. “I’ve dated many. Even the drummer of the band Electric Snakes.”

  “Impressive.” He kissed her breast.

  She rubbed his back. “Musicians are floaters. Kind of like you. Hard to pin them down. So I’ve had a few long-term relationships with men who didn’t necessarily want to be in them. And none of them broached the subject of marriage.”

  “And the elevator?” he asked.

  “Excuse me?” she said.

  “Sweetheart, I can’t get our first kiss out of my mind. I remember everything about it. Your terror was real in the elevator. But you were fearless out there in the ocean. Like some kind of Viking Queen. Hell, I had a nightmare about that shit. But you’re just fine. Why is it?”

  “I don’t know. My therapist said I have control issues. She said in any situation I’m not in control I lose my balance. But let me drive and I’ll take the wheel,” she said, laughing. “When the boat flipped and I was thrown from it I went into the water and it all came back to me. I’m a survivor. Not for a moment did I doubt that.”

  * * *

  Deja went on to explain her history with her mother. How Mom was the one to always push them and her father was the one to soothe them. They had all been shocked when her dad finally found his voice to end his oppressive marriage. Deja had felt relief when their mother walked out of their lives.

  “Jon?” she said.

  She heard his soft snores. Deja laughed to herself. She shook her head smiling. She didn’t have the heart to wake him. Her sisters would be proud of her. For that matter her therapist would be proud, as well. People were flawed, and she should know that better than anyone. But this man made her feel alive again. Why not enjoy it, explore it, go as far as this feeling took her? Soon she drifted to sleep with him, a smile on her face.

  Chapter 5

  Daybreak

  “Wake up,” he said.

  Deja opened her eyes. Jon sat on the edge of the bed staring down at her with a sly smile. She grabbed the sheet and looked around. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on the sofa while holding him. She lifted the sheet to find her robe was gone and she was nude beneath.

  “I brought you to the bed and made you comfortable,” he said.

  “By taking off my robe?” She smiled.

  “Well I made me comfortable by taking off your robe,” he winked.

  He returned with a tray of banana and mango slices, tuna and crackers and put them on her lap.

  “Wow! What’s this?” she scooted back into the pillows so she could sit upright.

  “You missed dinner. I made breakfast. All kinds of fruits grow around here,” Jon told her.

  She ate and nodded. He chewed and stared. For a long pause neither of them could speak what was on their mind. So she broached the subject first. “We have to get help. Get back to the island.”

  “Let’s worry about that a little later. We’re close. Trust me,” he said.

  She ate some more.

  “I was wondering if you would stay a little longer in Abaco. Since this visit was supposed to be for only the weekend,” he asked.

  “Stay?”

  “Sure. We can swim, fish, do a little parasailing. Really get to know each other.” Jon’s gaze turned toward the windows he’d opened in the room. “Just because the sun has risen doesn’t mean we have to let go of paradise.”

  “Okay, I’m in between sessions at the college. I have the time. I’ll have to change my flight and—”

  “Don’t worry about that. I’m Jon Hendrix, remember? I’ll get you back home safely.”

  He leaned in and kissed her brow. She fed him a slice of mango and he sucked the juices from her fingertips.

  “I found something,” he teased.

  “More food?”

  “Eat, we’re going for a walk.”

  Deja did what he asked. She gulped down the food, she was so hungry. They really should return to the shore and look for some way to alert people that they were there. But she didn’t press the issue. She felt safe and protected with Jon. After eating and rinsing her mouth out in the sink she put on her white bikini. It was all she had. She found him pacing in the front of the cabin.

  “Ready?” he asked.<
br />
  “Where are we going?” she asked.

  “You ask too many questions, woman,” he said. He took her hand and led her to the back of the cabin. Together they left through the back door. The grass was dewy and cool under the bottoms of her feet and the soil felt the same. He walked her through a path she didn’t see deeper into the forest and she winced several times when she stepped on sharp rocks and things unseen in the grass. A pang of anxiety surfaced. After all they didn’t know the island. What if they got lost or fell and hurt themselves?

  They cleared the forest. Jon had to move aside for her to see paradise in its morning glory. The sun had risen high. It beamed brightly down a cliff where a waterfall flowed into greenish-blue waters. Wildflowers in the colors of pink and yellow bloomed nearly from every bush. Deja let go of his hand. “It’s beautiful. The most beautiful place I’ve seen.”

  “I found it this morning when I came out to pick some fruit.”

  She took his hand and squeezed it. “I’m so glad you showed it to me.”

  “I was hoping we could have one last swim. Before we left.”

  She laughed. “Sure. Me first!” she shoved him back and then dived from the edge of the rocks into the water. The cold crush of water she sliced through forced the air from her lungs. She felt exhilarated. She swam fast below the surface and broke through just as Jon did a somersault into the lagoon. She laughed.

  Jon drifted to her and she was swept into his arms. They bobbed and turned in the calm waters. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

  “Now do you see why I wanted you to stay? Play with me. Let’s enjoy each other.”

  “I’d love to,” she said and kissed him.

  “Jon? Deja?”

  Startled, she glanced up. At the edge of the lagoon stood her brother-in-law and two other men. Deja let go of Jon and waved at them. Jon, however, just stared.

  “I’ve sent three search boats out to look for you and you’re here?” Cliff frowned.

  Deja swam over to him. She knew they would be looking for them but why did they have to come so soon? She climbed out of the lagoon and Cliff reached to pull her up the embankment. Another man with him took off his shirt and passed it to her.

  “So you never left?” Cliff asked her.

  “Left? Of course we did. We hit the reefs and our boat flipped in the water,” Deja told the men. “We could’ve been killed. Jon saved our lives. We swam to shore and found a cottage for the night. We were going back to the beach to look for a sign of rescue. Weren’t we, Jon?”

  Cliff looked from her to his brother. Instead of seeming relieved, he looked incensed. He narrowed his eyes on his brother and took a step toward him. “What cottage?” Cliff asked. “Is she talking about Blue Ridge?”

  “Yeah!” Deja smiled. “It’s the one we found. It’s abandoned.”

  “Under construction,” Cliff clarified. “I knew you were an asshole but this is too much. Did you tell her you were marooned on an island?”

  “What?” Deja asked.

  “I was going to tell her. We were going for a swim and I was going to explain it to her,” Jon said.

  “Tell me what?” Deja demanded. She kept the shirt tightly closed over her bikini with her clenched hand. Her heart beat so fast it was actually in physical pain. Nothing they said made sense. For heaven’s sake, she’d been in the boat. She’d caused the accident. They were marooned.

  “You’re in Abaco. You’re just behind the resort. Oasis is the owner of Blue Ridge. You didn’t get lost on an island. You never left the island. Not really. It was more like you circled it,” Cliff told her.

  She whirled around to face Jon for an explanation. The guilt in his eyes hurt more than the truth. Deja struck him. Before she could realize what she was doing, she had hit him. Never in her life had she raised her hand to another human being. Shocked and repulsed by her actions she stepped back. Who was he? Who the hell was she? Some ditz playing shipwrecked? How could she be so stupid?

  “Deja...”

  “Don’t touch me!” she shouted through her tears.

  “At first I didn’t know, sweetheart. Hell, the accident happened. You were there. How could I know? But then I...”

  “That’s a lie! You knew we were going to hit the reefs before the accident happened. I thought I almost killed us. That this was my fault! You let me believe we were stranded because of me. Damn it. Was this all to get me in bed?”

  “No! Deja, listen to me,” he reached for her and she stepped back. She was humiliated. “I didn’t know for sure. I swear it to you. But when I found the cottage I just wanted...for us to...hang out.”

  “Hang out? Hang out! No. You wanted to screw my brains out and play some game with me. That’s what you wanted.” She looked him over. “You’re everything they say you are. No. You’re worse, because I don’t even think they would believe you could sink this low.”

  “That’s bullshit!” he shouted at her. And this time he did seize her arm. His brother tried to get between them but he shoved him off effortlessly. Jon pulled her toward him and looked her in her face. “I don’t have to play games to get anything in life I want. The truth is I wanted you and this was the first chance I had to make it a reality. Nothing that happened between you and me was forced. And I’m not going to let you walk away because of your insecurities!”

  “Get your damn hands off me!” she shoved harder than she had intended and he let her go. But in doing so he slipped from the rocks and crashed over into the lagoon. Deja screamed in surprise. She and Cliff were at the edge in time to see Jon emerge unharmed. He glared at her. She glared at him. She shook her head in disbelief. “I’ve heard enough,” she said, her voice choked on emotion. “Can you please take me back to the resort? I’d like to go, please,” she asked Cliff.

  “Deja! Deja!” Jon yelled at her.

  “Now!” she demanded from the men watching. Cliff nodded and one of the men started off the way they’d come. She was led to a waiting jeep. She didn’t bother to look back. She wouldn’t let the bastard see her cry.

  * * *

  “What the hell is wrong with you!” Cliff asked when Jon pulled himself up over the embankment.

  Jon grunted. He got to his feet and dusted his hands. “You ruined it!”

  “Did you trick her to sleep with her?”

  “I don’t trick women into bed!” Jon seethed.

  “Dad was right about you. Now I have to explain to my wife what you did to her sister. I want you off the island. Go back to Miami. Just get the hell out of here, Jon,” Cliff said.

  Jon sucked down a deep breath and dropped his head back. “We had an accident and I put us in a cabin to keep from trekking through the forest at night. Did she look like she was in trouble? Did she?”

  Cliff stared at him.

  “To hell with you. I’ll find Deja and explain.” He started off but Cliff pushed him back.

  “Stay away from her. I mean it, bro! Stay the hell away from her,” Cliff warned.

  Jon glared after his brother as he walked away. He had to see Deja. He hoped it wasn’t too late to fix what he had done.

  * * *

  Deja heard the knocking at her door as soon as she stepped out of the shower. The last person she wanted to see was Jon. She had cried tears of frustration until her eyes swelled shut while in the shower. Why did she keep throwing herself at men who had the intellect of juveniles?

  “It’s me. Please open the door,” her sister said.

  Deja pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt and ran up the zipper. She opened the door. “I’m leaving, Dee. Don’t try to stop me,” she said before turning away.

  “Huh? No! Daddy arrives today. We have the big dinner and I thought we could spend the day together,” Dee said.

  “I have stuff at home I need to get back to.
I’ll...be there when you deliver the baby, I promise.”

  “What happened? Cliff said you were on the island last night? He said you were in an accident? Oh, God, look at your forehead. Were you hurt?”

  Dee touched the tiny Band-Aid on her brow and she winced. “I’m fine. It was my own fault.”

  “Can you please talk to me and stop packing? I want to know what happened between you and Jon.”

  Deja sighed. She focused on running the zipper along her luggage. She wasn’t going to waste any more energy on trying to dissect the motives of Jon Hendrix.

  “Deja,” Dee took her arm and made Deja face her. “Talk to me. You’re hurt, and not just physically. I can tell.”

  Without thought Deja hugged her baby sister and buried her face in her neck. “I’m disappointed. I thought he was a nice guy.”

  “He is, Deja.”

  “He’s a lying jerk. Trust me on this,” Deja said and wiped her tears away.

  “All men can be jerks.” Her sister laughed. “I could tell you some stories about Cliff that would straighten your hair, honey. Took some work to get that one in line. Believe me.”

  Deja frowned. “Work? I thought you two were destined. Cliff seems like a pussycat.”

  “We are destiny!” Dee said. “But relationships take work. Look at Dina and what she puts up with Darren. Men can screw up, they can disappoint you, but if you’re invested you don’t give up on them. We don’t give up on people we care about. Do we?”

  “Mama did,” Deja tossed out.

  It was the one thing she shouldn’t have said. Her sister’s smile faded and her brow dented with concern. This was why she should she leave. Her sour mood would just spoil the day’s events and her sister didn’t deserve that.

  “Mama tried to mold us, all of us, including Daddy. She had in her head what a perfect daughter and husband were and she was wrong. Do you want to be Mama? Leaving? Not accepting people for who they are?”

  Deja shook her head sadly.

  “Talk to Jon. I know the trick he played on you with the island was stupid. But you have to ask yourself when was the last time any man you liked went through so much effort?”