Fixed

by Beth Goobie

  Flux? On overload, Nellie’s brain wobbled. What’s that?

  The opposite of fixed, said her twin, which is what you are. You’re fixed and I’m flux. Not that it means much around here. The skins are so thick in this place, it’s like they’re made of hatred. It’s impossible to open a gate. And it’s damn hard to vibrate out of sync, with the interference they’ve got going. Ever notice the buzz people give off?

  No, Nellie said flatly. She was beginning to tire of this conversation. Either her twin was talking some kind of incomprehensible code, or utter nonsense.

  Everyone I’ve met so far, the other girl continued remorselessly. Even you. Everyone’s brain gives off some kind of buzz. It must be the implants. You all have them.

  Everyone in Detta has skull implants? Nellie asked quickly. Even Col. Jolsen?

  Yup, her twin said calmly. But not like you or me. The others only have one. I guess, she added wryly, the Goddess didn’t bless them quite as much.

  Nellie’s body sagged under the weight of this latest information. Col. Jolsen had a skull implant? And Lt. Neem, and maybe even Westcott?

  It must help them serve the Goddess better, she thought faintly, trying to keep a grip. Ivana would only require it if it was absolutely necessary. Glancing at her twin, Nellie tried to give the apparently sleeping girl a quick scan but came up against a wall of static. So much for the buddy-buddy act, she thought grimly. In spite of the conversation they’d just had, her twin was still running her own interference. Fat chance she would ever let Nellie into her head.

  How are you doing this? Nellie asked carefully. Talking inside my head and reading my thoughts?

  Something I learned, her twin replied. You speed up your vibrations and it happens.

  Nellie’s eyes narrowed at the vagueness of the reply. The enemy, she reminded herself firmly. Worse than that, an enemy whose mind was shaped by one of the Empire’s worst traitors.

  “We have to get one thing straight,” she said aloud, enunciating clearly. “I am an Advanced cadet. I work for Detta and the Empire. And I am not going to let you mess with my head.”

  Across the room the shorn-headed girl remained motionless, as if asleep. No voice replied inside Nellie’s head. With a start, she realized her twin’s quick high vibrations had retreated from her brain, leaving her feeling oddly empty and alone.

  With a grunt she rolled over to face the wall and also pretended to fall asleep.

  THEY WERE WORKING out in a small gym. Fifteen minutes ago two drones had escorted them here, then gotten to work setting up various pieces of sports equipment, as well as a makeshift shooting range. In spite of the fact the drones now stood guard at the door, Nellie could hardly wait to get to the range. She’d asked for a specific holograph she was sure would blow her twin’s mind, but first they had to run the required number of laps and Nellie was being merciless.

  “C’mon, faster,” she hollered, easily outstripping her twin as she completed another lap. It was the third time she’d passed the puffing girl, and Nellie’s mouth curved in contempt. Outbackers — they thought they were so superior with their rebellions, disobedience and hot-headed chaos, but put them in a maze or a gym and an Advanced cadet could beat them any day, any how.

  “Fuck you,” yelled her twin, slowing her pace to a meandering walk.

  “Suit yourself,” smirked Nellie, pivoting and running backwards on the spot. “But if you don’t put more effort into it, they’ll show up with electrodes.”

  “So what?” Slumped against a wall, her twin wheezed voraciously.

  “Electric shock,” bellowed Nellie, taking off again. “They’ll zap you. It’s great for getting you motivated.”

  Lifting her arms, she let out a whoop. How she loved the feel of her body working so effortlessly, with nothing to worry about, no niggling questions about right and wrong. On top of that, she was finally getting the chance to put her know-it-all twin in her place. Glancing back at the panting girl, Nellie snorted grimly. She seemed to have picked up the pace slightly — that warning about electrodes must have convinced her to put some sweat into it.

  Putting on another burst of speed, Nellie passed her wheezing twin again. “C’mon, Nellie Joan,” she shouted, walloping her on the back. “You’ll never get your 99 Badge at this rate.”

  At the far end of the gym, a door opened and two men entered. Catching sight of them, Nellie faltered, then slowed her pace. The director of K Block and Col. Jolsen — what were they doing here? In a flicker of unease she came to a halt, and felt her twin come up beside her.

  “Buzz,” the other girl said quietly. “Can you hear it?”

  Nellie shot her a suspicious look. With the men’s entry, her twin had gone through a rapid transformation. The wheezing and gasping had vanished and she now showed no sign of fatigue, standing with her head up and her shoulders back.

  “No,” Nellie snapped. “I can’t.”

  Standing between the guard drones, the men conferred briefly, and then Col. Jolsen lifted a hand and snapped his fingers. Instantly Nellie broke into a trot and headed across the gym. “Cadet Kinnan reporting, sir,” she said, coming to a halt before him and saluting.

  But the colonel’s eyes weren’t sliding over her in the usual approving glance. Instead they stared past her shoulder in a look of icy incredulity. Turning, Nellie saw her twin leaned against the wall on the other side of the gym. The fingersnap hadn’t budged her one inch.

  “I would suggest, Cadet Kinnan,” the colonel said meaningfully, without taking his eyes off the shorn-headed girl, “that you find some way of motivating your twin’s ass in this direction immediately, or I’ll tell these drones to give you both some time with the Black Box.”

  Nellie paled. “Yes, sir.” Taking off in a burst of electric fear, she slid to a halt beside her twin. “Get moving,” she snapped, grabbing one of her arms. “Now.”

  “They’re doubled,” said her twin, twisting in her grasp. “No way am I going near anyone that’s doubled.”

  “Doubled?” hissed Nellie, tightening her grip. “What are you talking about?”

  A look of impatience crossed her twin’s face, and then her slanted gray eyes fixed on Nellie’s. Suddenly Nellie felt it again — the sensation of curtains parting in her head as a surge of quick high vibrations entered her brain. Stand still, said her twin, while I get rid of the interference they’re running through you.

  Briefly Nellie felt a gentle fumbling inside her head, and then a dense pressure lifted from her brain and she filled with a clear singing sensation.

  Now look at them, said her twin.

  Glancing toward the door, Nellie saw what appeared to be four figures standing between the guard drones: Col. Jolsen and the director of K Block, and overlapping their bodies, two radiant silhouettes.

  “Sweet ever-loving Goddess,” she spluttered.

  Can you see them? her twin demanded eagerly.

  I think so. Bewildered, Nellie glanced at her twin, then caught her warning look and glanced away again. They’re both shining like stars, she thought rapidly. Is that their souls?

  Uh-uh, her twin said emphatically. The vibrations are way too fast. Those are sarpas — beings from another level that can pop in and out of people in this level. In the Outbacks they usually just come for a bit and leave again. But here in the Interior, they seem to move into a person and live there permanently. A lot of people have them.

  A shudder ran through Nellie. What do they want?

  How should I know? her twin demanded indignantly. I just got here, remember? Anyway, I’ d better get out of your brain or they’ll figure out what we’re doing.

  Before Nellie could protest, the quick high vibrations had withdrawn from the inside of her head and the pressure returned, encompassing her brain like a helmet. Angrily she shook her head, but couldn’t dislodge the thick heavy sensation. Incredible. She’d never noticed it before. Glancing toward the door, she saw Col. Jolsen and the director of K Block, minus their radiant silho
uettes, giving her decidedly impatient glares.

  “We’d better get moving,” she hissed at her twin. “Maybe I can’t see them like you do, but I can see pissed-off rage shooting out of the top of their heads.”

  Grimly she started across the gym. Doubled or not doubled, the colonel was the colonel, the Black Box was the Black Box, and an Advanced cadet was nobody. To her immense relief she heard her twin following at her heels, once again in heavy puffing mode. Coming to a halt before the two men, Nellie whipped off an extra-crisp salute, then elbowed her twin. Very slowly, the other girl copied her gesture.

  For a long stretched moment, K Block’s director stared dangerously at them both. Then he cleared his throat. “The Goddess,” he said tersely, “has chosen the two of you for special training. You must understand this is a great honor, one you must cherish deep in your hearts. Only a few are ever granted this, and never until they reach full agent status.”

  Astonishment leapt through Nellie. Full agent status? That was at least ten years away. With an elated grin she glanced at her twin, then froze. Arms crossed, the other girl was eyeballing the director mutinously. Quickly Nellie elbowed her. Her twin elbowed her back.

  Col. Jolsen surged forward. “Cadets!” he boomed, jutting his face into theirs. “At attention!”

  Instantly Nellie stiffened and snapped off a salute. Fear buzzed her ears, the air hummed and sang like overheated electrodes. A cautious sideways glance revealed her twin also in salute mode, her eyes fixed vaguely above Col. Jolsen’s head.

  “I would suggest,” the colonel hissed, his eyes gripping them both, “that you hold your current position and listen as the director explains the blessing that is about to enter your lives.”

  Slowly K Block’s director turned and pointed to the exit. “When you pass through this door,” he intoned solemnly, “your lives will change completely. For you are about to receive the gift of angels and become like the Gods, even the Goddess Herself. Hidden mysteries will be revealed, your eyes will be opened in ways you never imagined. In return, you must honor the secrets shown to you. They are sacred, known only to the chosen few. The masses cannot comprehend them, for they have not been given the necessary wisdom. So understand that you are bound to silence on pain of death, as are all who learn these secrets until the Second Coming.”

  Until the Second Coming, Nellie thought reverently, a shiver running through her.

  For what seemed an interminable moment, the director continued to stare at the two girls. Then he nodded to Col. Jolsen. Without a word, the colonel opened the door and stepped aside as the director passed into the hall.

  “Well, what are you waiting for?” snapped Col. Jolsen, and Nellie forced herself forward, her fear rising so sharply as she passed through the doorway that her eyes squeezed shut and she missed the actual moment in which she stepped into her new life. Briefly she stood, her eyes closed, trapped inside the massive thundering of her heart as she waited for the promised rush of angels. When she felt only the waft of cool air on her face, she opened her eyes to find herself standing in an ordinary hallway, one hand still glued in salute position to her forehead. Twenty feet to her left, K Block’s director was striding swiftly down the hall.

  “Go on, get moving.” Col. Jolsen jabbed a finger at the director’s back and Nellie took off after the man.

  “What’s going on?” hissed her twin, scurrying to catch up.

  “You heard him,” Nellie said excitedly. “Great mysteries are about to be revealed. Ivana’s going to give us the gift of angels.”

  Her twin snorted heftily. “Ooly-goolies,” she muttered, but Nellie kept her eyes on the director’s back. It was a day when minor blasphemies could be overlooked. The two of them had, after all, just been chosen for a great honor. That meant the Great Mother had finally noticed the devotion of Her humble servant; out of millions, She’d chosen Nellie Joanne Kinn —

  Without warning the director stopped at a door, then opened and stepped through it. Coming to a halt outside the open doorway, Nellie stood trying to catch her breath. This must be the one the director had meant when he’d said a door was about to change her life. Quickly she stepped toward it, but was stopped by a hand on her arm.

  Wet hot lips pressed to her ear and her twin hissed, “It’s all lies. The ooly-goolies.”

  Startled, Nellie began to shove her away, but as she did a second voice surfaced into her mind. Guttural and frayed with old age, it quavered, Golliwash. Lies and superstition.

  Blinking, Nellie stood in the brightly lit hallway as the old woman’s voice faded from her thoughts. Now, where had that come from? She must have heard someone say those words or they wouldn’t be in her head, but where and why? And why was a sense of such importance attached to them? Irritably, she shook off her twin’s hand and stepped through the open doorway. Her first glance showed a white room filled with medical equipment. Then the details of the room disappeared as it filled with a pinkish blue light. From all sides voices sang eerily, and transparent luminous figures appeared midair, coming and going like shafts of sunlight.

  “Nellie Joanne Kinnan,” said the director, and Nellie turned to see him standing across the room, surrounded by luminous figures. “What you are seeing is a holograph, a holograph of the world you will be able to see continually once your eyes have been opened. Look now, and fill your senses with the land of the Gods.”

  Quivering with excitement, Nellie simply stared. The many figures moving about the room seemed to be made of a prismatic light that gave off erratic flashes of color. Every now and then one came so close it actually passed through her body, and then for the briefest of moments she resonated with a pure sweet sound and smelled wondrous scents. Instinctively she stepped toward the center of the room where the figures were congregating, but as she did a hand grabbed the back of her bodysuit and an arm wrapped around her neck.

  “It’s a mindjoy,” her twin said contemptuously in her ear. “Just a bunch of pretty pictures in the air. There’s no hidden mystery here. Any stupid could see that.”

  Abruptly the pinkish blue light shut off and the prismatic figures disappeared. Yelping with dismay, Nellie watched them fade. It had all been so beautiful, she’d never seen a holograph like it. For one brief moment, everything solid seemed to have been transformed into music, and she’d felt as if her own body was part of a huge mysterious song.

  “It’s your fault,” she snarled, whipping her twin’s arm from her neck. “You shut it off with your lack of faith. I’m sick of you and your whin —”

  But the shorn-headed girl wasn’t listening. Instead, she was staring in wide-eyed horror at something beyond Nellie. Breaking off her tirade, Nellie glanced about the room. The white walls had returned, lined with cupboards and medical equipment. In one corner stood K Block’s director and two lab-coated men, leaning against what looked to be a row of domed cubicles. The strangest thing, Nellie realized as she gazed around herself, was that it all looked familiar. But how could that be? Other than these past few days, she’d never been to K Block in her life.

  From behind came the sound of running, and Nellie turned to see her twin headed for the door. A shout went up from the men and they barreled past Nellie, chasing the fleeing girl. Alone in the room, Nellie felt an odd quivering take over her body as she listened to their footsteps pound along the corridor. An image began to form in her mind — that of a short shorn-headed girl streaking down an off-white hallway, carried by the force of her own screaming.

  She felt the moment the men grabbed her twin. Fear pierced her like iced lightning, her mind split into darkness, and she slumped headlong to the floor.

  Fourteen

  NELLIE CAME TO, lying on her back, and immediately became aware of a weight on her chest. Without opening her eyes, she shifted slightly and felt several straps running across her body. From somewhere nearby came the sound of men’s voices. A door opened, and the men entered the room. Keeping her eyes closed, Nellie quieted her breathing and listened.


  “Still out?” asked Col. Jolsen.

  “Yeah, it’ll be a while,” replied an unfamiliar voice. “She hit the floor pretty hard. My guess is this confirms they’ve made the mind link we were hoping for. If that’s the case, it also means this one isn’t as strong as the other. Her twin was barely fazed by the blast we gave her in the hall, but when this one picked up on it, it took her out completely. I gave her a dose of Blennerol. She should be coming around soon, and then we can start coordinating and aligning their frequencies. How strong is their emotional bond?”

  “As strong as can be expected,” Col. Jolsen grunted. “Emotional bonding isn’t an Advanced cadet’s forte.” He grunted softly. “But the star program is. So make sure you give the cadet a lot of blather about the sweet, ever-loving Goddess.”

  Nellie’s eyes almost flew open in shock, but she managed to keep a grip. “She’s not as docile as she looks,” the colonel continued, “but the stars and the Goddess are her basic programs and should keep her on track.”

  “Colonel, we handle kids like this all the time,” the other man said casually.

  “You think you do,” Col. Jolsen snapped. “Remember her lineage. She’s got vibrations you’ve never even imagined. Anytime you merge subjects like this in a mind link, they’re difficult to control.”

  “Yes, sir.” The man’s desire to appease was obvious in his tone. “I’ll remind my colleagues to be doubly cautious, sir,” he added quickly.

  “You do that, private,” said Col. Jolsen. “And someday you might make colonel and get out of this place.”

  Brisk footsteps crossed the room, a door opened and closed. In the brief silence that followed, the remaining man took a long slow breath. “That guy hasn’t defecated in years,” he muttered to himself. Still lying with her eyes closed, Nellie fought the urge to stiffen as he approached and leaned over her, bringing the scent of tobacco and aftershave. “Sacred lineage are you, my little wickawoo?” he whispered into her face. “So that cat on your wrist is just a disguise. Well, we’ll see what kind of vibes we can get out of you.”