Fixed

by Beth Goobie

  As the mass of blue-white energy began to fade, Nellie caught a glimpse of her twin’s double, the girl in the gold dress, walking ahead of them, her head tilted to one side as if listening to something. The screaming? Nellie wondered as she watched her. Why would the double be listening to that?

  Hey, she hissed, catching up to Nell. The light in the walls — it’s made up of people’s souls. That’s the stars they’re talking about.

  I kno— Nell started to reply, but was interrupted by Fen.

  That’s enough, he ordered behind them. No more talking, just walk.

  Turning, Nellie saw him standing between the drones, pointing a stun gun at them. Where did that come from? she thought wildly. He didn’t have one before. Neither did the drones.

  But when her twin caught sight of the weapon, all she did was snort. Suddenly the stun gun vanished from Fen’s hand and reappeared in Nell’s.

  I know how you did that, she scoffed. You thought it from somewhere else, maybe a weapons storage room, into your hand. You can do that here because the vibrations are so quick. You just have to think something and it happens.

  Fen’s eyes narrowed, and abruptly they were surrounded by a crowd of armed drones. How long do you want to play games? he asked coolly.

  Nell’s eyes skimmed the watching drones, and then her shoulders sagged and the gun reappeared in Fen’s hand. I think, he said slowly, we won’t bother walking the rest of the way. Not if you already know the think-do mystery.

  Without warning, the drones disappeared, and the girls found themselves in a different corridor, standing before a magnificent domed doorway. Across the entranceway danced a shimmering red light, prohibiting any view of what lay beyond.

  Here we are, said Fen, pointing the stun gun at them. The Receiving Chamber of the Gods. You may enter.

  Gripping her twin’s hand tightly, Nellie stepped forward. For the next few seconds her brain was engulfed in a swirl of shimmering red, and then she was through the doorway and surrounded by a radiance so bright she had to close her eyes. Immediately she noticed her thoughts racing at triple their normal speed, and realized that the note she’d heard continually since her arrival was now so loud she could feel it reverberating through her body. Opening her eyes, she found she’d adjusted to the room’s quicker energy field and could make out actual forms within the radiance. The Receiving Chamber stretched before her, an enormous room with a ceiling that arced impossibly high, and the entire place ached with light. Even with the interference field that sat tightly across her brain, Nellie could sense it — the walls, ceiling and floor were composed of bits of light that had been shaped into dense geometric patterns.

  Like constellations, she thought, her stomach heaving. Stars.

  Then her eyes fell on the hundreds of red-robed figures that stood about the room. Like the walls of the Receiving Chamber, Their faces shone with a brilliant light, and their bodies emitted a rapid high-pitched hum. Instantly Nellie’s knees gave out beneath her and she sank to the floor, covering her head with her hands. The Gods, she thought, riding wave after wave of panic — an entire heaven’s worth of Them, and They were all staring straight at her. Why were so many of Them packed into a single room like this? Was it for the Second Coming? The Goddess’s manifestation was imminent, she could feel it. It was about to happen right now.

  So, came a voice, singing quick and high-up inside her head. Nellie Joanne and Nellie Joan, you have been granted the honor of entering Our presence. Welcome to the realm of the Star Lords. You may approach the throne.

  Robes swished as the crowd of Gods parted. Lifting her head, Nellie saw a red-hemmed path that led toward a throne at the room’s far end. On it sat a figure that emitted such brilliance, she gasped and ducked back down.

  A hand grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet. Don’t look straight at Them, Nell hissed. Look off to the side. Then it’s better.

  Hand in hand, they proceeded slowly along the narrow path that had been created for them. On either side the red-robed figures pressed close, Their collective energy field so intense it was like a crackling web of vibrations. Eyes lowered, Nellie darted sideways glances at the Gods. As near as she could make out They were humanlike, though taller, with jaws that protruded strangely. And from Their skin came a radiance like the stab of light emitted by a prism. Like fire, Nellie thought. Or electric shock.

  No one spoke. Except for the high-pitched hum coming from the Gods’ bodies and the single ongoing note, there was silence. Step by step, Nellie watched her feet take her toward the throne. Either her eyes were playing tricks, or the revved-up frequencies of this room were dissipating the interference field that sat on her brain. What she’d previously only been able to sense, she could now see — dense patterns of stars compressed so tightly, they actually formed the solid mass that was the floor beneath her feet. She was walking on human souls.

  Without warning, the brilliant figure at the far end of the room rose to His feet. Before she could stop herself, Nellie’s gaze shot to His face and she stumbled to a halt, transfixed. Without the interference field riding her brain, the radiance was no longer overwhelming and she could see the head God clearly. There in His face, she saw it — a pair of extremely slanted eyes.

  Dizziness twisted through her, a filing cabinet surfaced and opened, and she heard an old woman speak tremulously inside her head. A special child, the woman’s voice quavered. A child of the Gods. I know one when I see one.

  Closing her eyes, Nellie rode out the thundering of her heart. The father she’d never been told anything about, the extreme slant of her own eyes — was it possible, was it? But she was a Cat, one of the lowest castes.

  Only as a disguise, said the glowing figure before her. It was a way to conceal your true identity. For yes, Nellie Joanne, you and your twin are children of the Gods. Indeed, your father is one of Our higher lords, one who descended from Our quickest realm to breed with a human from your world. Your births were meticulously planned, for you were both created for a divine purpose, and your lives have been carefully guided in order to prepare you. Now it is time for your destiny to be revealed. But first We will allow you the opportunity to look upon Our faces and know Us. See me: I am the first among the lords of this realm, and my name is Eld.

  As Eld spoke, a great spurt of radiance leapt from the top of His head, and He shot up to twice His height. Six wings unfurled from His back, four eyes appeared across His forehead, and a pattern of dazzling lasers emerged upon His chest. As if in echo, every other God in the room immediately took on the same new form, Their wings arcing high over Their heads. Stunned, Nellie gaped at the towering throng, then almost shouted aloud as her twin also altered form, sprouting wings and extra eyes and shooting up to match the Gods’ height. For one impossible, mind-numbing moment, Nell pushed her own height above that of the surrounding Gods, then shrank back to human size and form.

  Show-offs, Nellie could hear her muttering. It’s just shape-shifting. Think They can scare me with that kind of ooly-gooly. Crossing her arms, Nell watched slit-eyed as the Gods collectively returned to Their original form.

  So, said Eld, His voice slightly amused. You know some of Our ways.

  I learned it in the Outbacks, Nell scowled. You can do it easy in this place because the vibrations are so quick, but they also make everyone think the same. If you had flux, you could each think yourself into a different shape.

  Flux? asked Eld, His voice growing more amused. And what is flux? Is it good?

  Of course, it’s good, Nell said fiercely. It’s what unfixes things and lets you be what you want to be.

  Now that sounds like an interesting concept, said Eld, and a dry heaving sound ran around the room. With a start, Nellie realized the Gods were laughing.

  “Hey.” In response to the laughter Nell’s chin rose, and her eyes locked with Eld’s. “What kind of level is this, anyway?” she asked, her voice loud and clear as she deliberately broke the mind link. “It’s different from the o
thers. Not just quicker. There aren’t any doubles, and the vibrations are ... twisted.”

  At the sound of her voice, a rippling sensation ran through the floor and the Gods’ laughter was sucked into a collective gasp. Instantly Eld leapt to His feet. DO NOT SPEAK ALOUD! He thundered, His voice rocking Nellie’s thoughts. Beside her Nell flinched, paling noticeably. Then her scowl deepened.

  Why? she asked stubbornly.

  It is Our way, Eld boomed. You have only to think a thought and We know it.

  But anyone can link minds in a quicker level, said Nell, glancing around. That’s what this is, isn’t it — a really quick level? But where are the doubles?

  Would you shut up? In a mad panic, Nellie tugged at her twin’s sleeve. You’re getting Them really pissed off.

  Do not fear, Nellie Joanne, said Eld, cutting her off. It is not your destiny to die here. He raised one hand, and without warning Nellie found herself floating midair, several feet above her twin’s head. Panicking, she flailed about, seeking something solid to grab onto, but there was nothing beneath her except a dense humming sensation. Fear lit her like a scream and she was certain Eld had lied, she was about to die and be turned into a star. Then she realized the crowd of Gods had surrounded her with Their collective energy field and were holding her effortlessly midair with Their minds.

  Astounded, she lay rigid, afraid to move an inch in any direction. About her the vibrations pulsed like an electric storm, huge masses of energy that snapped and hissed, but she remained unaffected.

  Tell me, Nellie Joanne, said Eld, and she felt His voice passing through her like an electric current, do you remember this place?

  Nellie felt a spurt of surprise. Um, sort of, she said carefully. It seems familiar somehow, but I can’t remember it.

  Indeed. Eld sounded pleased. We have brought you here before, along with your fellow cadets, who have been prepared to serve you in your destined role. As you have already guessed, these memories were stored in your deepest filing cabinets, where they have been awaiting the time they would be opened and the purpose of your life revealed. Now that time has come, and the true Nellie Joanne is about to awaken and fulfil the destiny for which she was bred.

  Nellie felt herself being gently turned to face the Receiving Chamber’s entranceway. Beneath her feet she could see Nell, openmouthed and staring up at her. Then a flash of red caught her eye and she saw a figure appear in the domed doorway. At least thirty feet tall, its head brushed the lintel as it passed into the room. Red robes cascaded to its bare feet and its hands were lifted in a beseeching gesture. Closer and closer the statue rolled on its wheeled pedestal as Nellie squinted through the brilliance, trying to get a better look. Finally she was able to make out the face, and for a moment she was washed with relief as she saw it wasn’t the white meaningless oval that dominated the other icons in this place. Then shock ricocheted through her, followed by horror, as the exact details of the Goddess’s features became clear.

  The statue was wearing her own face.

  Nineteen

  YES, NELLIE JOANNE, Eld boomed. It as you see it. The Goddess has chosen to manifest Her Second Coming through you. Even as I speak, statues all over the Interior are being repainted with your divine face.

  Rigid with shock, Nellie hovered midair, staring as the huge statue moved closer. Impossible as it seemed, there were her own slanted gray eyes, long blond hair and wide mouth, exaggerated to ten times their normal size above a pair of upraised pleading hands. But how could this be? The Goddess was ... well, She was the Goddess, not some semi-functional unknown cadet who lived deep underground, running mazes and shooting at holographs.

  Ah, said Eld, cutting smoothly into her thoughts. But the first Goddess was the unknown daughter of farmers, was She not? And remember, Nellie Joanne, We have been watching over you. Every aspect of your life has been meticulously planned, you have been well prepared to act as Our intercessor. It has all been a matter of training your energy field so you could become one with Us and accept Our presence when We chose to manifest Ourselves through you.

  With a gentle surge, the Gods’ collective energy field penetrated Nellie’s skin and flowed into her nervous system. Brilliance pierced her through and through, and she felt herself flooded with radiant heat. Next came a fumbling sensation in her brain somewhat like the feeling she experienced when her twin was lifting the interference field but magnified a hundredfold, and a wide variety of images appeared simultaneously in her mind. There, at the front of her head, she could see a young man in a living room, consulting a star chart posted on the wall. Hovering in her left temple was a classroom of children making a collage of the significant moments of the Goddess’s life, and near the base of her brain two Security Police walked the streets of Marnan as passing civilians gave them a careful berth. Scattered through the rest of her mind were scenes of people holding out their wrists for scanners, farmers working their fields, and a priestess bowing before a great statue of the Goddess as a man on a scaffold painted large gray eyes onto its face.

  With a start, Nellie realized that she was also picking up on the energy fields of the people she was watching. And from all of them, even the priestess and the Security Police, what she felt was the sharp high-pitched pulse of fear.

  You see, Nellie Joanne, said Eld, and Nellie felt His satisfied voice vibrate throughout her body. This is your power when you are one with Us. You are all-seeing, all-knowing. Every human mind that belongs to Us is linked to your own and you can read their thoughts, their hidden desires. All that is seen and unseen is yours, part of the kingdom you will rule. And We will rule with you, for you are Our vessel to be filled by Us.

  At these words another surge of heat passed from the Gods’ collective field into Nellie, and she lit up with renewed brilliance. Again her vibratory rate increased, and she felt every molecule in her body begin to swell. Then a shudder reverberated through her, a kind of soundless crying out, and she was washed with a single explosive wave of pain as her individual cells lost their grip on form and dissolved. Briefly she hovered midair, a vivid, yellow-white pulse of energy at the center of the Gods’ collective field, and then she materialized into a new form, humanlike and very tall, with a protruding jaw and extremely slanted eyes. From every molecule in her new body came a rapid high-pitched hum, and she sensed waves of luminescence passing from the surrounding Gods into herself and back again.

  Power, came the thought, rippling and glimmering through the synapses of her new body. Then, Our power, the words so intense they felt as if they were coming from countless minds at once. And they were, Nellie realized. However briefly, the Gods were allowing her to share the glory of Their collective thought field. Power, power, power, Their minds sang, as waves of luminescence pulsed through Nellie’s body and her skin radiated light. And it was power, she thought swiftly — the power to remake form, to merely think a word and see it take shape before you.

  Slowly she was lowered from her position midair, until she was once again standing before the throne. Leaning forward, Eld fixed her with His glittering gaze.

  You see, Nellie Joanne, He said, and once again she felt His voice at play among the currents of her energy field. Your eyes have been opened and you have experienced what it means to be one with Us. Anything becomes possible, all secrets are unlocked. Think how the people of the Interior will fall down before you when they see you radiating such holy light. They will do anything for you, they will worship and revere you as Our ambassador. Together We will rule the Interior, the unruly Outbacks, and eventually the entire planet.

  Abruptly another voice cut across Eld’s, bellowing at top volume. “ WHY DON’T YOU DO IT YOURSELF?” the voice shrieked, and Nellie whirled to see her twin glaring at the God, her face deeply flushed. “IF YOU WANT POWER AND GLORY OVER THE PEOPLE OF THE INTERIOR,” the shorn-headed girl screamed as spittle shot from her lips, “WHY DON’T YOU SHOW UP IN THE TEMPLES AND AWE THEM TO BITS YOURSELVES?”

  A stunned silence reverb
erated across the Gods’ collective field, and then Eld withdrew from Nellie’s body. Immediately her vibratory rate decreased and the radiant sensation of heat and light vanished. A rapid shriveling process set in as her energy field released the form of a God and descended once again into the heart-thundering fear of a twelve-year-old girl: no one, nothing, nowhere. For one endless searing moment, all Nellie could do was stand with her eyes squeezed shut as her mind begged, pleaded and whimpered for another few seconds of Godhood. Reluctantly she opened her eyes to see Eld leaning forward, His gaze fixed on her glowering twin.

  Yes, He murmured, His glittering eyes hooded with distaste. The other one. Your destiny is well overdue. Raising a hand, He beckoned to someone at the other end of the room and called, Let us have the demonstration.

  As He spoke, a clutch of children and adults passed through the barrier of red light that glimmered in the domed entranceway. Catching sight of them, Nellie’s eyes widened. It was the group she’d seen earlier, wandering through the holograph. Still in a trance, they stumbled toward her, prodded by the butt of Fen’s gun. Twenty feet from the throne, Fen slipped to the front of the group, then knelt and touched his forehead to the floor.

  Your stars have been prepared, my Lord, he said.

  Stand back, ordered Eld, and Fen slipped to the rear of the group. Now, said the God, leaning forward intently, who wishes to be a star?

  The group made a collective surge forward and stood huddled together, so close Nellie could have touched the nearest child. Hands under their chins, they kept their eyes lowered and moved their lips soundlessly.

  No, not soundlessly, Nellie thought. Leaning toward the closest child, she heard him whisper, “Ride the light, ride the light, ride the—”

  Stunned, she drew back, just as a girl several years older than herself darted to the front of the group and dropped to her knees. Please, my Lord, she whispered.