One Step At A Time

by Brenda Adcock

  She sighed, thinking that the one-hour job had just turned into a three- or four-hour job. She should consider flushing the whole engine to clean everything up before running new oil through it. She would have to talk to Oscar though before she got too carried away so she didn’t run up unnecessary labor costs for the customer. Over the last hour, she’d heard the three other mechanics leave one at a time, but was pretty sure Oscar was still in his office.

  Maddie felt a tap on her work boot and glanced down to see a pair of low heels standing next to her feet. “We need to talk,” a woman’s voice said.

  “If this is your car, it won’t be ready for a few more hours,” Maddie said as she began rolling from beneath the vehicle.

  “I’m here on official business,” the woman said, stepping back to allow room for Maddie to slide out.

  “I haven’t done anythin’,” Maddie said. Once her head cleared the vehicle’s undercarriage, she looked up to see Dani standing over her, unsmiling.

  Dani waited as Maddie pushed up and stood, wiping her hands on a shop towel. “My office received this inquiry from the warden at Sand Ridge yesterday. I’ll need to ask you a few questions, Ms. James, for my report.”

  “I haven’t done anythin’ illegal and I’m not on probation. I’m just your average non-voting, tax-paying former felon,” Maddie said with a slight grin. “And I’m not sure the warden at Sand Ridge needs to know what the hell I’m doin’ now.”

  “It’s just a follow-up to keep track of recidivism rates.”

  “Sounds like a crock of bureaucratic crap to me to justify some request for more money that’ll never find its way to the inmates,” Maddie chuckled.

  Dani glared at her for a moment, then asked, “You do know that having sex in public is against the law, don’t you?”

  “I haven’t,” Maddie stated. “I haven’t done anythin’ non-consensual and, as far as I know, that little club is private property. There were at least three or four other couples in the same room enjoyin’ one another’s company. What’s this bullshit really about? I’m busy and have work to do before I reach retirement. I don’t get paid to keep bureaucrats employed by worryin’ about how I choose to spend my free time.”

  “Leave my friends alone!” Dani blurted out heatedly.

  “Then tell your friend to stop comin’ on to me,” Maddie snapped back.

  Dani glowered and glanced at the form in her hand. She cleared her throat and asked, “How long have you been employed here?”

  “Two or three months. Ask Oscar.” Maddie shrugged. Then she added,” If it matters, you can tell the warden I got this job partly because of the trainin’ I got from Dave Larsen at Sand Ridge. Good man.”

  “Where are you residing?”

  “Boardin’ house a few blocks from here since I don’t have a driver’s license yet.”

  “Any problems since your release?”

  “They weren’t problems for me. Any other questions or can I get back to work?”

  “Do you regret having committed the crime you were convicted of?”

  “What’s the difference? It was a learnin’ experience.”

  “What did you learn?”

  “To trust no one. Everyone’s got an angle. What’s yours?”

  “To be at peace with myself someday.”

  “Good luck with that, but you can start by gettin’ the hell out of my life and leavin’ me the fuck alone, knowin’ I would have fucked you eleven years ago if I’d had the chance, whether you wanted it or not, and wouldn’t have thought twice about it. If we hadn’t hit that other car, your ass would have been mine. It took me years to admit that to myself and wake up.”

  “I’m sorry,” Dani said quietly before reaching out and wrapping a hand around Maddie’s arm. Maddie pulled her arm away and angrily spun Dani against the car she was working on.

  “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. You have no fuckin’ idea who I am or what I could have done to you. What I could still do,” Maddie seethed.

  “Then why don’t you do it?” Dani snapped. “You keep threatening to, but never do. Maybe I wanted it then. Maybe I still do.”

  “Then you’re either out of your mind or just a fuckin’ tease,” Maddie spat. “Get the fuck out of here. I don’t do rape. Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.”

  “Have you ever let anyone see the real you?” Dani asked softly.

  “I don’t even know who the real me is anymore,” Maddie admitted. “Now get out of here,” she sneered.

  Dani reached out and touched Maddie’s face. Maddie shook her head, then took Dani’s lips in a crushing kiss. When Dani didn’t try to resist, Maddie lessened the force behind the kiss. Dani slid her hands into the waist of Maddie’s sweatpants to touch her, but Maddie stopped the movement of her hands, holding them as she deepened the kiss.

  “Let me touch you,” Dani breathed as the kiss ended and Maddie began kissing her neck.

  “No. I’m not finished with you yet,” Maddie said. “I’m in control here.” Dani squirmed to get away, but Maddie only grinned and held her in place.

  “Is that what you need? To be in control?” Dani asked as Maddie pressed against her roughly.

  “Control is the only damn thing I’ve got left,” Maddie grunted. “It’s mine.”

  “Then fuck me if that’s what you want and get it over with,” Dani challenged her.

  Maddie continued to hold Dani’s wrists as she lavished her with kisses, sliding one hand down to cup Dani’s crotch. “God, you’re so hot,” Maddie breathed as Dani stopped struggling against her. Finally, Maddie pushed away, breathing hard, her eyes closed. “Get out of here. Just go!” she said harshly.

  When Dani hesitated, Maddie’s eyes flew open, filled with barely controlled rage. “Go! Now! And don’t come back!”

  “Mad—” Dani started.

  Maddie held her hand up to stop her from saying anything else. “I have work to do. Get out!” Maddie picked up a tool and returned to the creeper and rolled beneath the car she had been working on. When she heard Dani’s footsteps walking away, she suddenly had an overpowering urge for a hit of cocaine. Drugs, like making love to a woman, were a habit she thought she’d kicked years before. Certain Dani was gone, Maddie grabbed her jacket and headed for the door.

  Oscar stepped out of his office and stopped her. “You finished with that car yet?” he asked.

  “I’ll be back,” Maddie scowled over her shoulder, shrugging her jacket on.

  “You don’t need it, you know,” Melendez said.

  “What?”

  “Whatever it is you’re after.”

  “Leave me alone, old man. I don’t owe you anythin’. I’ve paid my debt.”

  “But was it really yours to pay?”

  Maddie stared at him and continued walking away. “I’ll be back, boss. Just need some fresh coffee,” she said.

  Chapter Seven

  MADDIE HUNCHED HER shoulders against the blast of an early freezing Canadian wind that had worked its way into north Texas and buried her gloveless hands deep in the thinly lined pockets of her denim jacket. Should’ve looked for a pair of gloves, she thought. She looked up at the heavy gray sky and hoped the weatherman was wrong when he predicted possible snow flurries the next few days.

  She semi-remembered playing in deep snow as a child. She couldn’t wait for winter to fly down hills riding her sled on her father’s Nebraska farm. Zooming down the gently rolling hills took her breath away, but pulling the sled uphill again wasn’t as exhilarating. Occasionally, one of her parents would tow her back up behind the farm tractor. When the cold got to her, she would push through snow up to her knees, change into dry sweatpants and her favorite flannel shirt and down a bowl of hot soup next to a roaring fire, unable to imagine anything better.

  She squinted as icy pellets flew against her face and shivered. When had this ever been fun, she wondered as she approached Flo’s and paused only t
o stomp debris off her work boots before entering. She walked into the living room and looked at Sal, kneeling in front of the fireplace, stacking various-sized pieces of tender in the firebox. Sal glanced over her shoulder and stared at Maddie. “Chilly?” she asked.

  “Fuckin’ freezin’,” Maddie said. “Think you can get that fire goin’ any more slowly?”

  “Keep smartin’ off and it’ll never get done,” Sal muttered.

  “Any coffee still in the kitchen?” Maddie asked.

  “Do I look like your damn maid? Go look for yourself, smart-ass,” Sal retorted.

  “Somethin’ smells pretty good,” Maddie took a deep breath and commented off-handedly.

  “After all the shit you snorted back in the day, I’m shocked you can smell anything,” Sal said with a smile.

  “Me, too,” Maddie responded without rancor. “You want a mug, in case there is any coffee?” she asked.

  “I wouldn’t turn it down.”

  Maddie smiled as she pushed open the swinging door into the kitchen and headed to the coffeemaker. It had taken her a while to get used to the abrasive Sal, but now she sort of enjoyed the barbs they tossed at each other on a daily basis. She was never sure how serious Sal was about what she said, but it gave Maddie a chance to work on controlling her sometimes volatile temper, if not her smart-ass remarks.

  “See Sal?” Flo asked.

  “Of course. Kinda hard to miss the six-hundred-pound gorilla in the room,” Maddie chuckled as she prepared two mugs of coffee. She hadn’t quite managed to develop an amicable relationship with Flo yet, but respected what the gruff woman did for the women who rented rooms from her.

  “You won’t always get away with comments like that, y’know?” Flo said.

  “But it’s fun while it lasts,” Maddie answered. Before she took a mug to Sal, she opened the oven door and looked inside. “Good-looking brisket,” she noted, pinching off a bite and stuffing it in her mouth. “Tastes good, too.”

  “Get your damn paws off the meat, bitch,” Flo said, delivering a smack to Maddie’s butt. “Should be good. Been cookin’ for over twelve hours.”

  “What’s the occasion?” Maddie asked.

  “I invited a friend over for dinner, so hang any attitude outside or I might have Sal shoot you.” Flo laughed. “She’d like that.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Maddie muttered, carrying coffee into the living room.

  She set Sal’s mug on the hearth and asked, “Who’s comin’ over that’s special enough for brisket?”

  “A friend of Flo’s,” Sal answered.

  “I got that part already,” Maddie said.

  “Just a sweet girl who helped Flo get out of Percyville. Only met her once or twice myself. Kinda quiet, so try not to scare her to death,” Sal said, sitting in front of the fire she’d finally lit and sipping from her mug. “Grew up around here, I think. The new Assistant County Attorney. In other words, she puts people like you in prison when you fuck up.”

  “That s’posed to scare me, Deputy Dog?”

  “Just a friendly warnin’ to mind your p’s and q’s around Flo,” Sal said with a shrug. “Otherwise Flo might rip your head off and I might not stop her.”

  Maddie frowned. “I’ve been home fifteen minutes and have been threatened that you might shoot me and Flo might rip my head off. Seem to be battin’ a thousand today. I don’t get that many threats from the three felons I work with.”

  “What can I say? Must be your sparklin’ personality,” Sal said with a grin. “Guess I should go clean my gun in case I need it later,” she added with a laugh.

  MADDIE REMOVED HER work boots and began stripping her work clothes off. She tossed them in the hamper and stepped in the shower to scrub the day’s grime from her body, taking time to get the oil and grease from under her short fingernails. While in prison, she refused to go into the shower room unless she was alone or was certain Aggie’s girls were the only ones already in the shower. Now, it felt wonderful to not be looking over her shoulder all the time and she felt great as the hot water ran over her head and down her body. She toweled off and returned to her room to dress. Obviously, Flo was eagerly anticipating her guest’s arrival and Maddie was determined to try to put her best foot forward. She’d used a part of her paychecks to purchased cheap but decent clothing and comfortable shoes.

  She found a seat in the living room after offering to help Flo set the table for dinner and attempted to chat up a limited conversation with a couple of the other boarders. Everything smelled wonderful and Maddie was starving. Finally, Flo asked her to open a bottle of wine to go with dinner. The doorbell rang while Maddie was working on opening the bottle. As Flo went to the door, Maddie took the bottle into the dining room and set it on the table. She looked up in time to watch Flo hug her guest and take her coat, handing it to Sal to hang in the front closet. Then her guest looked into the dining room and smiled at the flickering candles on the table. A couple of wrapped packages sat next to a place setting obviously reserved for Flo’s guest.

  “You didn’t have to go to so much trouble, Flo,” Dani said, “but it’s beautiful and smells delicious.” She briefly hugged Flo and Sal. “Thank you,” she said, her eyes twinkling in the light from the candles, reflecting her barely contained excitement. For an instant, she looked like the girl Maddie had picked up after leaving her final show, innocent and curious. Maddie shrank back into the shadows as much as possible, watching Dani surreptitiously, liking what she saw more than she knew she should. Dani’s cheeks were still slightly ruddy from the cold outside, giving her cheeks a rosy blush. Her hair fell loosely around her face and strands shimmered in the available light. It had been a couple of months since Maddie had seen Dani, but she vividly remembered the heat of her body as she pressed against it, and the way Dani’s body fit against hers.

  Unable to hide in the shadows any longer Maddie asked, “Want me to pour the wine now, Flo?” She worked at not letting her eyes meet Dani’s.

  “Sure,” Flo nodded before turning to Dani again. “Danielle, this is our newest boarder, Maddie James.” Pointing at Dani, she continued, “This is my friend, Danielle Hunter, the new Assistant County Attorney.”

  “Pleasure, ma’am,” Maddie muttered as she poured half a glass of red wine into each goblet.

  Throughout dinner, Maddie ate silently, occasionally picking up a partial string of the non-stop conversation between Flo, Sal, and Dani, but no matter how hard she tried, Maddie couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from Dani. If they had met under different circumstances, she might see a future worth pursuing, but that time had passed long ago. From time to time, Dani shifted her eyes to glance in Maddie’s direction and Maddie saw her discomfort.

  After dinner, Maddie and the other girls cleared the table and straightened up everything in the kitchen. By the time they joined the others in the living room, Sal had turned on their stereo system and soft music drifted through the front room.

  Maddie found a place to sit alone and watch the others. Periodically, a couple of the boarders danced together and Maddie couldn’t help but smile as more experienced dancers attempted to teach a younger woman how to waltz or two-step correctly. Dani laughed and clapped her hands, enjoying the antics of the other women.

  Maddie wasn’t sure what time it was, but knew she was tired. While she was sipping her wine, Dani stood and moved closer to where Maddie was sitting.

  “We haven’t had much of a chance to talk this evening,” Dani said. “Mind if I join you?”

  Maddie stared up at her and shrugged. “It’s a free country,” she said.

  “How are you?” Dani asked, settling next to Maddie and turning slightly to face her.

  “Makin’ it,” Maddie mumbled so softly that Dani had to lean closer to hear her.

  “I don’t think we got off to a very good start and—” Dani started.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Maddie smirked. “Since you’ve already kissed me twice, I think we
started out pretty good.”

  Dani blushed slightly before responding. “I seem to recall that you kissed me the last time. Wouldn’t that make us even?” Dani parried.

  Maddie shook her head slowly. “I admit you surprised me the first time, but I think you wanted me to kiss you the second time,” she grinned.

  “I did not!” Dani hissed.

  “We could tell the others what happened and let them decide,” Maddie suggested.

  “Does it really matter since it’s no one else’s business?” Dani asked.

  “Is that a concession?” Maddie answered.

  “A statement,” Dani smiled. “Would you care to dance?”

  “I’m not a great dancer, but I’m willing to give it a try if you are,” Maddie said, setting her glass down and standing to offer Dani her hand.

  An involuntary chill ran through Maddie’s body when Dani’s warm hand took hers. She slipped a hand around Dani’s waist and drew her closer, resting her hand in the middle of Dani’s back before stepping off to the beat of the music. Dani slid her hand across Maddie’s shoulder and onto the back of her neck. Maddie closed her eyes to feel the warmth of Dani’s body lightly touching hers, breathing in the sweet scent of her shampoo, feeling her soft breath against her cheek.