High Stakes

by Cheryl Douglas

  Liam was still trying to come to terms with what he’d done. He didn’t need his kid brother to read him the riot act. “Get out.”

  “No!” He slammed the door. “If you think I’m gonna sit by and watch you self-destruct, you’re crazy.”

  “It’s my life. I’ll do whatever the hell I want.”

  “She loves you, man,” he said, lowering his voice. “Why can’t you see that?”

  “Loved.” He scowled when his voice trembled. “She doesn’t anymore. She told me so.”

  Matt thrust his hands through his hair as he began pacing the room. “And whose fault is that? Yours! You drove her away. She tried to tell you she was concerned about you even before this happened, and what do you do? You tell her she’s clueless. You dumbass!”

  No one had ever called Liam dumb before, though he knew no other word could describe the mess he was making of his life. “I didn’t ask for your opinion and I don’t want it.”

  “Too damn bad. You’re gonna get it whether you like it or not.” Matt pulled back the velvet curtain to glance out into the backyard. “Do you know how scared your little girl was when she thought she was gonna lose you?”

  Liam tipped his head back and closed his eyes. That was the thing about siblings, they knew your weak spots, and when they were out for blood, they knew exactly where to strike first. “Don’t go there.”

  “Why not? You need to know. You’re all she has, Liam. Her worthless excuse for a mother never gave a goddamn about her; we both know that.”

  “I’m not going anywhere. My daughter knows that.”

  “You could have died that night, Liam.” Matt turned to face him. “Do you even get that? You’re living on borrowed time if you don’t figure out how to make some serious changes in your life.”

  Liam knew his brother was right. The doctor had told him the same thing, but he had no idea how to go from being a workaholic to a man of leisure. And when he thought about what it would take to restructure his business in his absence, it only intensified the throbbing in his head. “I don’t know what the hell you people expect from me. I am who I am. I’m not gonna change my entire life just ‘cause I had a heart attack.”

  Matt stared at him a long time before he asked, “Why are you trying so hard to push Alisa away?” He waited for a response, but when he got none, he said, “She told me what you said to her.”

  Liam grimaced. He couldn’t even bear to think about what he’d said to her. “This is none of your business.”

  “I know you. You wouldn’t even say those things to your worst enemy, so how the hell could you bring yourself to say them to the woman you love?”

  “I don’t love her.” His heart protested the claim, but he knew indifference was the only way to get his brother off his back and his soon to be ex-wife out of his house. “I thought I did, but what the hell do I know about love, right?”

  “Her ex was there with her when I got to her store today.”

  If his brother was trying to give him another heart attack, he was going about it the right way. “Why should I care who she’s with? We’re getting a divorce, remember?”

  “He was begging her to take him back. Telling her he loved her… he needed her. In fact, he was moving in to kiss her—”

  “Shut the hell up!” Liam shouted, his voice reverberating off the walls.

  Matt smirked as he folded his arms and propped his hip against the wall. “I thought you didn’t love her anymore?”

  Liam forced himself to take a few deep breaths to calm down as he tried to get the picture Matt painted out of his head. “I don’t want her to stay with me for the wrong reasons,” he whispered. “Because she thinks I need someone to take care of me.”

  “Everybody needs someone to take care of them, Liam. That’s what marriage is all about, the peace of mind that comes with knowing you never have to face shit like this alone.”

  “What if she sticks it out with me for a while and then realizes he’s the guy she really wants?”

  “That’s a risk you’re gonna have to take. But if you push her away without ever knowing for sure, you’re gonna have to live with that regret for the rest of your life.” Matt pushed off the wall before walking to the door. “I’d hate like hell to see what that would do to you.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alisa tapped on Abby’s open bedroom door. “I made some dinner. You hungry?”

  She shrugged as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I guess I could eat, but what happened to Mrs. Foster? Why didn’t she make dinner?”

  “I gave her the night off. She’s going to the movies and spending the night with her sister.” She smiled. “She was pretty upset after going a round with your father.”

  Abby moved back on her king-sized four-poster bed and tucked her legs under her. “I overheard you telling Uncle Matt what my dad said to you.” She bit her bottom lip as her cheeks flushed. “I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just—”

  Alisa held her hand up. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain.” She didn’t relish the idea of discussing their relationship with Liam’s daughter, but she knew from experience that being kept in the dark was often worse. “Your dad and I had to figure out where to go from here.” She had trouble forcing herself to say the words, but she wanted to tell Abby her side of the story while she had the chance. “We’re getting a divorce.”

  Abby pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs as she stared at Alisa. “Why? I know you love him.”

  Alisa tried to swallow the anguish that made it difficult to breathe. “I do, but sometimes that’s not enough.” She glanced at a framed photo of Liam and Abby when she was a gap-toothed toddler and her heart ached for the children they would never have together. “Your dad and I are just two very different people.”

  “You guys could work it out if you really wanted to. He’s just so stubborn.”

  “Honey,” Alisa said, reaching for her hand, “this isn’t your father’s fault, and it isn’t my fault. Sometimes two people just aren’t compatible.” She forced a smile. “We got married on a whim, before we really even knew each other.”

  “Why’d you do it?” Abby asked, leaning her head on her legs. “Why’d you marry him?”

  “He made me feel something,” she said quietly. “Something no one else ever has.”

  “Do you still feel that way about him?” Abby asked, squeezing her hand. “The truth, just between you and me.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Isn’t that the only thing that matters?”

  “No, honey, it isn’t. It takes two people to make a marriage work, and your dad’s decided it just isn’t worth the effort.”

  “He can be so stubborn sometimes,” she said, releasing Alisa’s hand. She grabbed a pillow and held it against her body. “Just like that art school I want to go to…” Her eyes traveled to a well-lit alcove in the corner of the room where an easel occupied a good portion of the space.

  “May I?” Alisa asked, getting up off the bed.

  “Sure,” she said, shrugging. “I know I have a lot to learn, but that’s not gonna happen if my dad has anything to say about it. I have an opportunity to go to this incredible private art school in New York. They teach all the usual high school subjects, but the art electives are amazing. I mean, I could be studying with some of the masters…”

  Alisa couldn’t contain her surprise when she viewed the canvas. “You did this?”

  “It’s no big deal,” she said. “I’ve always liked to draw and stuff. I just started working with watercolors last year, but I love it.” She smiled. “Like, I really love it.”

  “I can see that.” Alisa looked at the landscape from different angles, appreciating the sunlight she’d infused into the waves and the shadow the water cast on the sand. “The surfer is Colin, right?”

  Abby blushed and lowered her head. “How’d you know that?”

  Alisa laughed. “I had a Colin in my life when I was just about yo
ur age, too.”

  “Really? What happened?”

  “We both grew up and moved on. It happens.” Alisa reclaimed her spot at the foot of Abby’s bed. “I went through something similar when I was just about your age. I wanted to be a model, but my dad didn’t want to let me leave home so I could pursue a modeling career. I can understand why, I was so young and inexperienced, but…”

  “Did you eventually wear him down?” Abby grinned. “Please tell me you did.”

  Alisa laughed. “I did, but it took a while.”

  “You think my dad’ll give in if I keep working on him?”

  “I don’t know. It’s a little different in your situation. My dad had my mom to lean on after I was gone. You’re the only person Liam has to come home to.”

  “He could have you… if he wasn’t such an ass.” She giggled. “Just don’t tell him I called him that, okay?”

  Alisa raised her pinky in the air. “Pinky swear.” They both laughed as they locked fingers. “Thinking about losing your dad must have been tough, huh?”

  Abby shuddered. “It was brutal. My dad’s always been this larger than life guy, ya know? And to see him lying in that hospital bed, hooked up to all those machines…” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him.”

  Alisa rubbed her leg. “You’re not gonna lose him, Abby. He’s young and strong. This may be the wake-up call he needed to reprioritize his life.”

  “Everybody always tells me how smart he is, and I know he is, but…”

  “But what?”

  “How can he be stupid enough to let you go?”

  Alisa reached over to give her stepdaughter a hug. This girl had stolen her heart almost as quickly as her father had, and she was going to miss them both... so much.

  Liam threw the magazine down when he heard a tap on his bedroom door. He considered pretending he was asleep, in case it was Alisa, but before he could hide under the covers, his daughter poked her head in the door.

  “Is it okay if I come in?”

  “Of course, you’re just the distraction I need.” He grinned. “I’m going a little stir-crazy already.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Why am I not surprised?”

  Sometimes he looked at her and he was struck by the fact that she looked more like a young lady than the little girl he used to tuck in at night. God, he missed those days when she thought he could fix any problem and make everything right in her world again. “I’m sorry if I scared you, kid,” he said when she sat down on the bed beside him.

  “I was worried about you; we all were. Nana was here when you were sleeping earlier. She said she’d be back tomorrow.”

  “Great.” They both smiled, knowing how much Liam’s mother loved to hover when one of them was feeling under the weather. “She’ll drive me crazy for sure.”

  “You could ask Alisa to run interference for you.” Abby looked hesitant when she mentioned his wife’s name. “I bet she’d be willing if you were really nice to her.”

  “Oh, pumpkin,” he said, using his childhood nickname for her as he put his arm around her shoulders. “I wish it were that simple.”

  “She loves you, Dad. I know she does.”

  His stomach lurched at the memory of the words she’d spoken earlier. I loved you… loved… loved… It was like a torturous echo he couldn’t escape no matter how hard he tried. “It’s over, hon. There’s no going back.”

  “Would you, if you could?”

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, trying to hide the gleam in his eyes. “You know me, I don’t like to waste time on regrets.”

  She tipped her head back to look at him. “If you let her go, I’m afraid you are gonna regret it… like, forever.” She shifted to face him. “I don’t want to see you go through that. Whatever it takes, you need to fix things with her before it’s too late.”

  “It’s already too late,” he said, twisting a lock of her hair around his finger. His wedding ring shone under the artificial light and he realized he should have taken it off when she did, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

  Abby grabbed his hand and looked at the platinum band. “I gotta admit, I never thought I’d see the day you’d wear one of these.” She started to take it off his finger. “I guess you won’t need it anymore, since you guys are splitting.”

  She got the ring almost past his knuckle before he said, “Stop. I’m not ready to take it off yet.”

  “Why’s that, Dad? I thought you said it was too late for you guys to work things out?”

  He smiled as he shook his head. “When did you get so smart, kid?”

  She laughed. “What’s that stupid old saying about the apple and the tree?”

  “Get outta here.”

  “Just in case you were wondering, your wife’s having a glass of wine by the pool. You know, in case you were thinking about getting some fresh air before you call it a night.” She walked toward the door. “I’m gonna turn in now.” She stretched her arms over her head and yawned. “I’ll be out for the rest of the night… wouldn’t be able to hear a thing…”

  He laughed as he threw a pillow at her. “I mean it, get out of here. Now!”

  Alisa assumed it was Abby coming out to keep her company when she heard someone open the French door behind her. “It’s such a beautiful night,” she said, tipping her head back to look up at the sky. “Look, there are at least a thousand stars out tonight. You’re too late to make a wish though. I already made mine.”

  “What did you wish for?”

  She tried not to react when she realized it was Liam, not his daughter. “Oh, I didn’t realize it was you.” She reached for her wine glass. “I’ll go in and give you some privacy.”

  “Please, stay. It’d be nice to have someone to talk to for a while.”

  She brought the glass to her lips as she chastised herself for giving in to hope. Just because he was willing to have a civil conversation with her didn’t mean anything had changed between them. “Would you like a glass of—” She covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. I have to get used to the fact things have changed.” He stretched out on the lounger next to her. “That’s not to say I won’t still be able to enjoy a glass of wine now and then, but I can’t go on pretending that I can keep living my life the way I have without suffering the consequences.” He tipped his head to look at her and his eyes fell to the hand wrapped around her crystal glass. “I hate the way your hand looks without my ring.”

  Her heart staggered when she saw the way he looked at her. Almost the same way he had that night in Barbados before everything went so horribly wrong. “People who are getting a divorce can’t go on pretending they’re married.”

  He held his left hand up to show her his wedding band. “I can’t take it off.”

  “You will… in time,” she whispered before taking a sip of wine. She closed her eyes, praying she could keep the tears in check. Sitting here with him, talking about the end of their marriage, was costing her so much, but she refused to relinquish her pride too.

  “What if I don’t want to?”

  “Liam, please.” She covered her mouth when a sob escaped her lips.

  “Ah, sweetheart,” he said, getting up and moving over to her chair. “I’m so sorry for everything I said. I was an idiot to think I could live without you.”

  Alisa buried her face in his shirt, unable to control the sobs wracking her body. She’d been through the emotional wringer this week and it was finally starting to take its toll. “You said you…” She tried to draw breaths in an inane attempt to control her sobbing. “Didn’t want me anymore.”

  “Baby, ssshhh,” he said, stroking her hair. “I didn’t mean it. I was scared of losing you, of driving you away… Hell, I was scared of dying.”

  She sniffled and swiped at her damp cheeks as she looked up at him. “How do you feel now?”

  “I don’t know… That depends on how you feel.” He brought
her hand to his lips. “You said you loved me, past tense. Does that mean you don’t anymore?”

  “How can you even ask me that? I’m here, aren’t I? Even though you said you wanted me to go, I stayed because I couldn’t bear to think of you being here, recovering without me.”

  “God, I love you so much,” he said, claiming her mouth in a fierce kiss.

  “I love you, too.” She pulled back, but continued to pepper his lips with gentle kisses.

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the diamond rings she’d abandoned in Barbados. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” he whispered, sliding the rings back in place. “When I saw you take these off, God, I felt like I was gonna die.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered, kissing his neck. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but—”

  He stole her words with a kiss. “I’m the one who should be apologizing to you. Everything you said was true. I do need to take a step back, to figure out how to restructure my business so that it doesn’t run my life anymore.” He eased them back on the double lounger and rested her head on his chest. “I’ve been giving it some thought.”

  Alisa closed her eyes and listened to the steady beat of his heart, a heart that almost betrayed him and robbed them of the life they could have together. “Tell me what you’ve been thinking.”

  “I want to move to Tennessee.”

  Certain he must be joking, she started to laugh. “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m serious.” He started massaging her scalp. “I’ll never be able to get out from under this company if I don’t put some physical distance between myself and my head office. I’ve got an incredible executive team, including my brother. Most of them have been with me since the beginning, but I haven’t relinquished control and allowed them to challenge themselves. That’s gonna change, starting now.”

  Alisa couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if she tried. “I’m glad to hear you say that, but I know it won’t be possible for you to retire. You’d go crazy.”