I wasn’t at all sure that he would. I knew that having hotel guests so close to our cows would concern him. ‘We’d have a completely different view,’ I said instead, thinking about how it would look up here once Stewart had built on this land. I was so used to us being alone out here, to seeing countryside in whichever direction I turned, but that would no longer be the case.
‘I would want to fit in with the landscape as much as possible, you know that. I wouldn’t want to harm your farm. Tell you what, why don’t you find your deeds, and I’ll gather the plans we have, and we can go over them together?’ He stepped closer. ‘Why don’t we have dinner tonight? We can talk it all through when you’ve had a chance to think about everything. I’m staying in Glendale all week and really don’t fancy eating alone every night.’ He nudged me with his elbow. ‘You know how I hate to eat by myself. And how long has it been since you’ve been out for a meal? Come on, my treat. Please, Heather?’
Why had he always been so hard for me to say no to? He was giving me a pleading look, and he was right that I rarely went out for dinner nowadays. I wasn’t sure though. Rory wasn’t due back until late but he wouldn’t be particularly happy to know I was eating out with an ex. But then maybe it was a chance to sort the land issue out without me having to bother Rory about it. I was always looking for a chance to prove myself here after all. Him being at the auction would buy me some time to try to prove the land was ours. ‘Okay,’ I agreed. ‘I have to go to Glendale Hall first, their festive trail is opening tonight and I promised my best friend I’d be there. But I could meet you about seven-thirty, I think?’
Stewart broke into a wide smile. ‘Great, I’ll book somewhere, and text you. What’s your number now?’ We exchanged numbers, and I tried not to feel like I was doing anything wrong, but I couldn’t quite convince myself.
‘Come on, it’s getting too cold to stand around up here,’ I said. I knew my dad could return with Harry at any moment. I didn’t want him bumping into Stewart. Although Stewart had never visited Glendale, they had met a few times at university when my parents came to see me. I didn’t want my dad to know he was here. Or anyone. Not until I knew what was happening with our land, and how this hotel might affect it. I didn’t want to worry anyone else with this yet.
We walked down the hill and I shut the gate behind us. I looked down at Stewart’s sleek, black car, which looked so out of place in our yard, as he did. I wondered if I looked out of place here to him or not. I was sure that I did.
‘It really has been so good to see you again,’ Stewart said as we stopped by his car. ‘I’m looking forward to taking you out tonight.’ He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, startling me a little. I looked around worriedly but we were still alone. ‘Heather Douglas,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Back in my life again after all this time. I guess I should believe in fate now. What were the chances of me picking the land right next door for my hotel, huh?’
‘Pretty crazy,’ I said, my cheek still warm from the brush of lips against my skin. I couldn’t deny that the attraction I had had that first day at university hadn’t completely faded like I thought it would have. ‘I still can’t believe you’re here.’
‘See you tonight then,’ he said with a grin, climbing into his car.
I lifted my hand in a wave as he set off out of the farm, watching him go in disbelief.
It was so strange to remember what we had once been to one another. To be reminded of the woman I had been when we were together.
A very different woman to who I was now, that was for sure.
Chapter Eleven
I was still standing there when my dad’s car turned up the winding, gravel drive, towards the farmhouse. I pretended I had been waiting for them, breathing a sigh of relief that they had missed seeing Stewart here. Seeing them both made me feel strangely guilty for the time I’d just spent with Stewart. It had felt illicit somehow. And agreeing to have dinner with him too made me feel jittery. ‘Did you have a nice time?’ I asked when Harry skipped out of the car towards me. I lifted him in my arms. ‘And what’s this?’ I asked as he almost hit me in the face with a cuddly toy.
‘Lamb,’ Harry said triumphantly, proud he had learned the word.
‘Well, I’m pleased to see it’s farm appropriate,’ I said with a laugh.
‘He saw it in the Hall shop and we just couldn’t leave without it,’ Dad explained, coming into the hall with a brown paper bag. ‘I bought us some fresh bread to have with our dinner later,’ he said, holding it up. ‘Did you get all your wrapping done?’
I had completely forgotten about that. ‘Almost. Pop the kettle on, and I’ll be through in a couple of minutes. And it’s time for an afternoon nap for this fella, I think.’ I put Harry down. ‘Do you want some warm milk first?’
‘Please,’ he said, trotting after my dad.
I hurried back into the living room, and hastily tidied the presents into the wooden chest. Tabby had since disappeared, the wrapping paper she’d been lying on all torn up. When the room was clear, I ducked into Rory’s study. I pulled open the filing cabinet. His mother had been meticulous about recordkeeping at the farm, thank goodness, and everything was labelled in there. There was a folder labelled ‘deeds’, and I yanked out the paperwork, laying it on the desk to look at.
The deeds for the farm and the land boundaries were in there. The original ones were written in really old, formal language but I could make out that Rory’s grandfather owned the property, and then there were transfers to Rory’s father, and then himself. There was a map with the original deeds and I pulled it out, spreading it in front of me.
Leaning over, I traced my finger over the red pen-marked boundary line following it from the front where the farmhouse was along the edge where the hill fields were and then over the top into the land beyond, my heart sinking when the red line stopped far before the heather patch. I thought back to the first time Rory had shown me his land properly. I had visited the farm as a teenager accompanying Beth the summer she and Drew fell in love, and I had visited a few times since Beth returned to Glendale, and more when Rory and I had become a couple, but suddenly I was moving in, and I was nervous of how big the property was, amazed that I now lived in so many acres of land.
* * *
‘It’s not that far,’ Rory laughed as I puffed behind him walking up to the top of the hill.
‘I am pregnant,’ I replied, giving him a furious look. I was still tired a lot of the time, and was holding him personally responsible for any suffering I felt. Plus, I wasn’t an outdoors person at the best of times. Walking wasn’t high on my list of enjoyable activities.
‘I’m sorry, but look at this view.’ We stood on top of the hill looking at the vast countryside around us. It did take my breath away.
‘And all this belongs to you?’
‘All the land that reaches up to that woodland there,’ he said proudly, pointing to the far side of the farm. ‘And right up to that heather patch down the other side of the hill over there,’ he added, pointing towards Hilltop Farm. ‘Maybe it’s a sign that heather grows here?’ He grinned at me.
I smiled back. ‘Maybe it is.’ I bit my lip though, still feeling nervous.
‘The rest is the neighbouring farm’s land although it’s been empty for ages. I have no idea if it’ll ever sell. So, what do you think? Can you see yourself living here?’
I turned to him. ‘Are you sure you want me here? That it’s not just because of this one…’ I touched my stomach.
‘Of course. You know, I wanted you to stay here before we found out about the baby, but now I want it even more. Don’t you?’
‘It’s just that it’s all happening so quickly. And I’ve lived in the village all my life. You had to buy me a pair of wellies! I just don’t know how much use I’ll be here.’ I bit my lip. Being up here, it suddenly seemed real. I was about to move onto the farm. To live with my baby’s father. Scared didn’t even begin to cover it.
Rory put hi
s arm over my shoulders and pulled me close. ‘It’s not about being useful. I want you here because I love you and we’re going to be a family. I want to look after you, and wake up with you every day.’ He turned to me and brushed my hair back as it blew around my face in the breeze. As always when he looked at me, the world faded into the background and it was just the two of us, and it was so much easier to not feel as scared. ‘Heth, it’s scary but exciting. What do you think? Will you come and live here with me?’
How could I say no to him? I pushed my fears aside as far away as I could and took a deep breath. ‘Okay,’ I said. He grinned and picked me up, twisting me around in a circle as I laughed and gasped, ‘put me down, you fool!’
* * *
The memory of that day faded as I stared at the boundary map now. Rory had been wrong about the boundary with Hilltop. We didn’t own the lower field up to the heather patch after all. Which not only meant that we lost a good chunk of our land, but also meant that Stewart’s golf course would start right at the edge of our farm. I wondered why Rory had got it so wrong, he must have always thought that land was his, but why?
I’d have to confess this to Stewart, but maybe I could talk him out of his plans for Hilltop, or at least persuade him to take our farm into account? I still couldn’t believe that he had chosen the land right next to ours. What had Stewart said – something about fate bringing us back together? I wondered if fate had a sick sense of humour because as if I didn’t have enough to worry about, now I had this on my mind too.
I put the documents away, feeling lower than I had for a while.
I really didn’t want to have to tell Rory that our land was under threat, and from my ex-boyfriend too. It felt like it was my fault somehow.
Like it was yet another thing I was getting wrong around here.
* * *
‘Welcome to the annual Glendale Hall Christmas trail!’ Beth called out a warm greeting as the crowd around her fell silent. We had all gathered at Glendale Hall for the grand opening of the festive trail in the grounds. Most of the snow had gone now so there was a good turnout. I was there with Dad and Harry, who was bundled up in his pushchair protected from the cold night. It was strange not to have Rory beside us.
I kept checking the time on my phone. I had told my dad that I was meeting an ex-colleague from the library in the village for a quick meal afterwards. I felt so guilty for lying to him, and for not telling Rory what I was going to do. Underneath my long winter coat, I had put on a black dress and my heeled boots, an outfit I hadn’t worn since last year. My hair and make-up were more carefully done than I would usually bother with for just coming to the Hall, and butterflies danced inside my stomach. I was going to go out with another man, and I shouldn’t be feeling at all good about it. But I was excited.
I told myself it was just because I so rarely went out nowadays and surely Rory would understand that. But deep down, I knew I was just fooling myself on both counts. I had almost phoned him to tell him but I decided that it was best to find out more about Stewart’s plans before telling Rory anything, and I doubted he would understand any reason I gave for having a meal out alone with my ex-boyfriend. I knew it was all above board, but he might not. I felt my cheeks flush. It was definitely all above board, I told myself firmly, wishing my pulse would slow down.
Maybe I just felt buzzed because it felt like for just one night I could be like my eighteen-year-old self again, with no responsibilities, and nothing to worry about.
‘Enjoy!’ Beth cried then as her mother cut the ribbon tied across the entrance to an enthusiastic round of applause from the villagers standing with us. I snapped a photo of the open trail for Instagram. I had two hundred followers on there now, and I was sure they’d appreciate the twinkling fairy lights with a clear, star-filled sky, above. I was pleased with my shot – Beth was right, it appealed to my visual brain. I was enjoying it more than I thought I would.
‘Heather!’
I turned as people filed past us into the trail, and broke into a smile to see Emily and Brodie arm-in-arm walking across the grass towards me.
‘Catch us up,’ Dad said to me as he pushed Harry into the trail alongside John and Caroline.
‘We missed you,’ I said, pulling Emily into a warm hug.
‘Us too! You look lovely tonight,’ Emily said, beaming, looking at me as we pulled apart. ‘I love that lipstick.’
‘Oh, thanks. I’m meeting a friend afterwards… Anyway, how was the honeymoon?’ I asked, brightly, turning to Brodie, trying to cover my guilty thoughts as I lied to my friend.
‘We had a great time, didn’t we, Em?’
‘I love it there. I mean, it was freezing in that cabin, only we would choose Loch Ness in the snow, but it was magical too. It was just nice to have a few days away. We missed Glendale though.’
I nodded. I understood. They were such fixtures of our community. ‘We missed you guys too.’
‘Where’s Rory?’ Brodie asked, looking around.
‘He’s at an auction today, I’m expecting him back late. I thought he might have phoned me by now, but he’s probably too busy talking to all the farmers there.’ I rolled my eyes.
‘That’s what I’m like when I meet up with other ministers,’ Brodie said, with a laugh.
‘I swear men are worse gossips than we are,’ Emily said, looking fondly at him. Her new gold wedding band sparkled under the starlight. If any couple was a good advertisement for marriage then Emily and Brodie were it.
Drew and Beth found us then and greeted Emily and Brodie.
‘Where’s Iona?’ Beth asked, missing the baby.
‘Sally has her at the cottage, they both needed a rest. We’ll pick her up on the way home,’ Emily explained. ‘Shall we walk the trail or have a quick mulled wine first?’
We all looked at one another and laughed, heading off to the refreshment table and scooping out ladles of mulled wine from the steaming pot there.
‘So, how does it feel to be a minister’s wife?’ Beth asked Emily, her gloved hands wrapped around her cup. In the distance behind her, the lights of the trail sparkled, and we could hear cries of delight from the children as they discovered this year’s lights.
‘So far so good,’ Emily said. ‘Although I’m dreading all the unpacking I have to do at the vicarage. I want to get it all done tomorrow as I need to be back at the bakery after that.’ Emily made her busy life all look so easy.
Drew came to stand beside me so I took the opportunity to casually speak to him. ‘I was wondering, Drew, how much you knew about the land of Fraser Farm? Have the boundaries always been the same?’
He considered. ‘As far as I know, yes. Obviously, I wasn’t born when my grandfather bought the farm from the landlord, but I believe he kept the same land as he’d had when he was just the tenant. Rory would know better than me though. He was always more interested in all that, I’m afraid,’ he said ruefully. Unlike his brother, and father and grandfather before him, Drew hadn’t felt the call to farming, and had instead pursued medicine, even living away for years in Boston to study and train.
I sipped my wine. It was warm and spicy and comforting, but I still felt cold. ‘And the land over the hill, in the lower field, the one that borders Hilltop Farm?’
‘Where we used to keep sheep?’ I nodded. ‘That’s always been ours as far as I know. Why the interest in the boundary lines? Thinking of breeding sheep again?’ He smiled but looked curious.
‘We might do,’ I replied, non-committedly.
‘You could get a sheepdog,’ Beth broke in then with excitement. ‘I’ve always wanted a sheepdog.’
I smiled. ‘I always wanted a dog growing up,’ I remembered. It was actually not a bad idea. It might help make me feel safer out there when Rory wasn’t around. ‘Maybe I’ll mention it to Rory.’
‘Well, he’d let you have anything,’ Beth said, slipping her arm through her husband’s. ‘He just wants you to be happy. Right, now we’re fuelled up, shall we check
out the trail?’ The others agreed and set off eagerly, with me following more slowly behind. I knew she was right, Rory did want me to be happy.
Why was I finding it so hard to be then?
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I was startled to see Rory’s name appear on the screen. I paused, then answered it, telling myself there was no way he could know about me meeting Stewart. ‘Hiya,’ I greeted him, hoping I sounded just like I normally did.
‘I’m really sorry, Heather, but there’s a blizzard coming here.’ He sighed down the line. ‘It’s already snowing, and laying thickly.’
‘So you’re waiting it out?’
‘I’ll have to stay overnight, it looks like.’
I gripped the phone. I’d never stayed overnight at the farmhouse without Rory. I knew I wasn’t alone with my dad, Angus and Harry there but still… ‘I told you there was snow on the way, I said you shouldn’t go,’ I burst out.
‘They didn’t predict it would be this bad tonight,’ he replied wearily. ‘Besides, we sold both cows. We needed that money, Heth, you know that.’
‘I hate how everything ends up coming back to money, and how tight things always are,’ I said, pushing back my hair in annoyance.
‘I’m sorry, that’s how farming is nowadays.’ He sighed, sounding tired, and very far away from me. ‘I can’t do anything about the weather. I’ll leave as soon as I can, I promise, okay?’
‘Not much I can do about it, is there?’ I snapped. I knew I was taking my anxiety about being alone out on him, but I couldn’t help it. He didn’t seem to understand how worried I was about being responsible for the farm without him.
‘It’ll be fine, it’s just one night. And Angus will be there if you need anything,’ he said.
‘Okay,’ I said unhappily. ‘I need to go, Rory, the others are waiting for me at the trail. It’s opening night, remember?’ I said, looking back to see Beth giving me a worried look; no doubt she had heard my raised voice.
Hopeful Hearts at Glendale Hall Page 9