Hopeful Hearts at Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  ‘I have got over my fear,’ I agreed. ‘Somehow, I trust him,’ I said, setting off across the field side-by-side with Rory on Duke.

  ‘And he trusts you. So, I just booked an appointment with our solicitor next week to get the ball rolling on the Hilltop sale,’ he said as we walked steadily up the hill. The wind was brisk as we moved higher, blowing any cobwebs away. I looked out at the countryside stretching for as far as my eye could see and felt relief all over again that there wouldn’t be a huge hotel to take that away from us.

  ‘I can’t believe we’re soon going to own two farms,’ I said, shaking my head. My dad had had a couple of viewings on his house already so we hoped it would sell soon. ‘I used to be petrified by change but I’m so excited.’ We moved towards the cows grazing in the cool sunshine and my phone buzzed in my pocket. I stopped Prince to answer it in case it was Dad but I was startled to see Stewart’s name on the screen instead. ‘It’s Stewart,’ I said to Rory, who paused Duke and watched as I answered his call.

  ‘Hi, Heather,’ he replied. ‘I just wanted to ring and say congratulations on buying Hilltop, I heard it’s all going through now.’

  He sounded genuine. ‘Thanks, Stewart.’

  ‘You’re right that what you have planned suits Glendale more than what I had pictured. I think I’m still learning that buildings need to work with their surroundings. Listen, I wanted to tell you that I’ve moved down to London. I’ve just got the keys to my new flat. I decided I needed a fresh start. I’m working for an architecture firm down here now, instead of with my father.’ He sounded so much brighter than he had done before he had left Glendale.

  ‘That’s really good news, Stewart,’ I said sincerely. ‘I do wish you the best.’

  ‘Thanks, Heather. You too. Take care, okay?’ He hung up quickly, and I knew that would be the last time I heard from him.

  ‘He’s moved to London,’ I said to Rory as I put my phone back in my pocket. ‘I’m glad he’s away from his dad. Isn’t it strange how people come and go from your life?’ We set off walking again.

  ‘But I think they all teach us something.’

  I raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s pretty wise, Mr Fraser,’ I joked. But it was true. Stewart had taught me to realise what I had. I looked around at the beauty surrounding us and I was so relieved I hadn’t lost it. He’d taught me that I was someone who would fight for what I loved, and that I was stronger and braver than I could have imagined. He’d also taught me about the kind of partner I needed by my side in life. ‘You’re right though.’ The sun shone down on us as we reached the peak of the hill, the cows looking up at us as we approached. I thought of how much my mother had taught me too. I hoped I brought something to the lives of the people I loved, and who loved me, too.

  ‘When my mum and dad died…’ Rory began then paused. I turned to him. He didn’t talk about them much. And I understood better than anyone that it was to spare himself from pain. ‘I raged against the world. I couldn’t see any way of making things work here without them, especially as Drew wanted to be a doctor and didn’t want to work here with me. I almost gave up. More than once, to be honest. But I’m so glad I didn’t. It feels like all of it had to happen in a way to bring me right here, right now. Do you know what I mean?’

  ‘I do,’ I replied. ‘I don’t think there’s a big master plan for us but I do think that we often underestimate how we can cope and adapt to things, that often afterwards you can see there’s a reason why something has happened. We’ve both lost such special people but they’ve given us so much, and they’re always with us. So even though we will always miss them, we are still blessed.’

  Rory brought Duke over to me and leaned over. I reached for him and we managed to share a kiss across our horses, smiling at the awkwardness. ‘I’m definitely blessed with you and Harry.’

  ‘Me too,’ I agreed. ‘And we have a whole lifetime together.’ I doubted I would ever completely not worry that Harry could lose me, but I was determined to be the best mother I could be while I was around. And I really hoped that would be for many, many years. ‘So, want to race me back to see our boy?’

  Rory grinned. ‘What do I win when I beat you?’

  ‘The winner makes breakfast for the next week,’ I said, ignoring the dig.

  ‘Deal!’ He took off so fast, I took a second to catch up. I cried out and urged Prince on. What a cheater.

  We cantered down the hill, my hair blowing out behind me, my breath catching in the wind, laughing at how exhilarating it felt as we raced towards the farmhouse. It felt as if I was leaving my worries behind me. Although they were bound to reappear at some point, I would try to think of them as still up on that hill, small and too far away to hurt me.

  * * *

  That evening, Rory, Angus, Dad, Harry and I settled around the kitchen table together for dinner.

  ‘Here’s to the victor,’ I said, raising my glass of wine. I couldn’t believe I had beaten Rory back to the farmhouse, and I wasn’t about to let him forget it any time soon.

  He rolled his eyes but joined in with our clinking glasses good-naturedly. ‘I’m not sure if I didn’t prefer it when you weren’t confident with things around here,’ Rory said after he had had a sip of his beer. ‘It seemed more peaceful here before Heather, didn’t it, Angus?’

  ‘It was quieter,’ Angus said, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. It had been easier than I expected to get him in here tonight, he was slowly coming around to being more sociable with us. ‘But there is more than enough quiet out here. This place needs a family in it.’

  I gave Rory a pointed ‘see’ look, pleased that Angus hadn’t joined in his teasing of me. I would feel bad forever that I had in the past hoped Angus would leave us. He had helped us more than I could ever thank him for, he really was part of the family now even if he would never accept me saying that. ‘And as if you didn’t find all that peace boring,’ I added. I watched Angus cut up Harry’s roast beef for him with a smile.

  ‘There won’t be much peace around here tomorrow,’ Dad commented with wide eyes. I smiled. It was Harry’s second birthday tomorrow, and I still couldn’t believe my baby was officially a toddler. I really hoped the years would go more slowly than they were, I wanted to hang on as tightly as I could to all the memories we were making together.

  ‘I’ll be hiding in my cottage, don’t worry,’ Angus said. ‘Harry understands don’t you, boy?’

  ‘I’m sure he does,’ I said although I thought Harry would ask for him, he loved it when Angus carried him on his shoulders, I think Angus seemed like a big bear to him. I wasn’t about to force Angus into a party though. I understood he liked to be on his own. Everyone found their contentment in different ways. There was no reason to try to force them to do things that you wanted to do. ‘To be fair he probably won’t remember the party but we do it for us, don’t we?’

  ‘Your mum was ill when you turned two,’ Dad remembered then. ‘A really nasty cold. So, we had your birthday the following week. She felt so guilty even though you had no idea of dates or anything.’

  I chuckled, knowing I would have felt the same way if I’d had to postpone Harry’s. It was hard to always be rational as a parent, as I knew better than anyone. ‘I think that probably did scar me, you know.’

  Dad snorted. ‘Actually, I think it’s the reason why you’re always late everywhere.’

  He had a point. I wondered if I’d be responsible for something in Harry’s nature down the line. Harry held out his hand then and dropped a pea into my palm. I wasn’t sure what that could symbolise. The fact that he would be a giving person?

  Or maybe he just didn’t like peas.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Harry’s second birthday was welcomed in by another snowfall. We hadn’t had a significant one so far in January but when we woke up, we saw that the weather reports had been right that the cold front would bring with it snow. Rory had moved the animals with Angus the night before so everyone was sheltered and t
he farm was blanketed with two inches by the time the afternoon arrived, and with it our guests.

  Luckily, only gentle flakes floated down and it wasn’t deep enough yet to stop anyone getting to us, but the forecast was that we might very well have enough overnight to cut us off for a couple of days. I was far more relaxed about the idea now. I had my dad with me so we wouldn’t be trapped from him, and we had all the food and supplies we needed ready. I was learning to go with the flow more with things on the farm. I couldn’t control the snow, could I? But I could control how it made me feel.

  ‘Hi, guys!’ I said when I opened the door to Beth, Drew, Izzy, Sally, Caroline and John, and showed them into the living room. They were soon followed by Brodie, Emily and Iona, and Luke followed, looking rather uncomfortable in the shirt and jeans he had donned for the occasion. ‘Come on through.’

  I paused as I saw Angus walking over from his cottage.

  He shrugged. ‘Couldn’t disappoint the wee lad, could I?’ he said as he shuffled past me sheepishly. I grinned at his retreating back.

  Rory had brought in a long table which we laid a buffet out on, and we’d added some extra chairs, and tied balloons to everywhere we could. The birthday boy was wearing dungarees and hadn’t stopped grinning all day.

  ‘Where shall I put this?’ Emily asked, carrying the cake she had kindly baked for the occasion. It was in the shape of a lamb to match his favourite teddy and looked almost too adorable to eat. But obviously we still would. I found an empty spot and helped her put it down.

  ‘Luke,’ I said, noticing him hovering in the doorway. He wasn’t shy exactly, more awkward at social occasions as he really hadn’t been to all that many. ‘This is Izzy,’ I said, leading him into the room where Izzy sat on a chair, a book poking out of her bag. ‘Luke helps out around here now,’ I added to her. Luke was a couple of years older than her but I hoped they might become friends. I glanced at Beth who smiled as Luke sat down beside Izzy and looked rather stumped for something to say. I was about to help them out when he noticed her book.

  ‘You reading that?’ he asked, nodding at The Catcher in the Rye.

  ‘I am. I’m really enjoying it. Have you read it?’

  ‘It’s my favourite,’ he said, brightening visibly. ‘I’ve read it, like, ten times.’

  ‘I don’t think I’ve read anything other than Harry Potter that much,’ she replied, looking surprised.

  ‘Well, my teacher gave it to me. I guess I don’t have many books at home.’

  ‘Really? Well, I have loads you can borrow…’

  I walked away, smiling. I didn’t even know Luke was a reader. I was pleased. There was nothing Izzy liked better so now they were bound to become friends, and maybe she’d pull him away from the group he still hung around with sometimes. Brodie told me they caused trouble in the pub at the weekend trying to buy alcohol even though they were underage. Beth had once commented she might have got in with the wrong crowd at school if it hadn’t been for me, trying to rebel against her home life. Maybe Izzy could be Luke’s Heather. I liked the idea of that.

  ‘I hope you’re not trying to corrupt my daughter,’ Beth said with a laugh, handing me a drink. ‘I don’t want her to have a boyfriend until she’s like twenty. Maybe not even then.’

  ‘She still says boys are gross, don’t worry. I think she could be good for him. And maybe he’ll bring her to the farm more too,’ I said, taking a sip of wine. ‘I don’t think she’ll end up like you, don’t worry.’

  ‘Hey!’ She nudged me, making me nearly spill my drink. ‘I could have been a lot worse.’

  ‘You were a bad enough influence as it was. All those nights we drank whisky stolen from your dad’s drinks cabinet for a start.’ Drew and Rory joined us then. ‘Remember when Drew took Rory’s car to drive us to the pub. On your request obviously, Beth,’ I added. Drew only ever got in trouble over Beth. She had always been, and always would be, his weakness. ‘He hit that tree and we had to call him for help.’

  ‘Rory was terrifying that night,’ Beth said, shuddering.

  ‘Well, Drew hadn’t even got his licence,’ Rory said, shaking his head. ‘You lot caused me a lot of grief, you know, back then.’

  I slipped an arm through this. ‘I’m sorry. It was all Beth’s fault though. God, what do you think our kids will be like when they hit that age?’ We glanced at Izzy and Luke looking at her book together, and Harry playing with Emily and Iona on the floor. I wondered how many of the things we had done would come back to haunt us when they did the same thing.

  ‘I dread to think,’ Drew said, wrapping an arm around Beth’s waist.

  ‘It’s lucky we don’t have grey hair in our family or these luscious red locks of ours wouldn’t last long,’ Rory joked to his brother.

  ‘Heather and I remember you both being called carrot-tops at school, don’t forget,’ Beth replied.

  ‘We’ve known each other too long,’ Rory complained but he smiled at me. I knew he loved our lifetime bond as much as I did.

  ‘I think it’s time,’ I said, going over to the cake and adding candles, lighting them up. Rory hushed the room and we all started to sing happy birthday to Harry sat on his knees, grinning as I carried over the cake to him.

  ‘Blow the candles out and make a wish,’ I said, smiling as he tried and only managed to blow a couple out. Rory crouched with me and together we all blew them out. I assumed that meant I could have a wish too, so I wished that my family would be healthy and happy for as long as possible.

  Everyone dived into the buffet then and we all sat down to eat. ‘Brodie just said he had a long chat with his sister, Anna, about coming to work at the Hall. I really need someone this spring, what with starting this wedding business, I’ll need all the help I can get. I really need the house taken care of while I’m doing that. But I’m not sure if she’ll agree as she’s working at a pub in Glasgow right now,’ Beth said next to me as she munched on a sausage roll.

  ‘If anyone can persuade someone to do something then Brodie can,’ I replied. ‘How will you feel seeing someone else taking on the Hall though, Sally?’

  Sally, sat in the armchair, paused in eating her pasta salad. ‘It will be about time. You need someone full-time. The place is going to rack and ruin with you in charge and not letting me help,’ she replied with a smile but I had no doubt that Beth’s standards were not as high as they needed to be in Sally’s opinion. She had run the Hall like a navy ship, and more than deserved her retirement.

  ‘It’s your fault I haven’t found anyone I like enough to take on the job permanently. No one can ever replace you, Sally,’ Beth said, good-naturedly. ‘Anyway, this time it’s not me being too picky. Apparently Anna has never stayed anywhere for more than six months so it can only be temporary.’

  ‘I hope she does agree to come and help you,’ I said. ‘It sounds like she might shake up Glendale a little bit.’

  ‘Brodie did want to check that I realised Anna is quite a free spirit,’ Beth said. She shrugged. ‘I just hope my mother will be able to handle her,’ she added, leaning in closer to prevent Caroline on the other side of the room hearing our conversation. We all had a chuckle about that.

  ‘Sounds like she’s rather like you were as a teenager,’ Sally remarked. ‘So, it sounds like we might all be kept on our toes.’

  ‘Honestly, I wasn’t that bad!’ Beth protested. ‘You all like to re-write history sometimes.’

  Before I could respond, Izzy came over to us then. ‘Heather, we’re going to give Luke a lift home and stop off at the Hall on the way so I can get a few books for him. Can you believe he’s never read Harry Potter? He thought it was just for kids.’ She looked so outraged, it was difficult not to laugh.

  ‘I’m shocked, Izzy, but if anyone can educate him then you can,’ I said. I looked at Luke who had a mountain of food on his plate. He always ate everything in sight here, I wasn’t sure if he ever got a proper meal at home so I didn’t mind. ‘I hope you know what you’ve let y
ourself in for,’ I said to him. He just shrugged but I saw the smile he hid behind his chicken drumstick. So sweet.

  ‘Why does being pregnant make me so hungry?’ Emily complained as she brought over her second helping from the buffet. ‘I’m just so relieved we all like to eat here.’

  ‘Have as much as you like,’ I assured her. Rory had told me I’d bought far too much food but I was glad I always over did it at the supermarket – this lot really could pack it away. I looked at Harry on his dad’s lap having another sausage roll. He was already very much part of the Glendale fold in that respect. ‘But save room for cake, everyone,’ I added, louder. There was a chorus of groans and tummy pats but I also caught quite a few pairs of eyes lighting up too. I shook my head with a smile. Shameless, the lot of them.

  ‘I think we should play a game after lunch,’ Izzy said then. ‘I think Harry would like that.’ There followed a lively debate about what should be played. Even Angus joined in with a suggestion.

  I found myself watching and listening, marvelling that I had such a lovely group of family and friends to spend time with. And we weren’t a conventional bunch. Single teenage mothers, caring for children that weren’t biologically ours, second marriages, people whose partners had long left them, and were still longed for, but the type of family we had just didn’t matter. We were still family.

  All that did matter was that we loved one another, and were there for one another. Through thick and thin. Through the good times and the not so good times. And I had never felt more grateful to have these people in my life. And my son’s life. Because if Harry ever did lose me, I knew I wasn’t as worried anymore. Because he had this lot to look out for him, just like they had all looked out for me.

  And if that wasn’t something to celebrate then I didn’t know what was.

  ‘Heth, can you please decide?’ Rory pleaded then. ‘They will never agree otherwise.’