by A. D. Ellis
“Wow, Josie, all of that sounds great. We are so happy for you. I remember that movie, how did you guys end up on a movie that was so closely related to your own situations?” Libby spoke quietly.
Our waitress came before I could answer. After placing our orders, I took a drink and the girls waited. I wasn’t going to hide things from them and they already knew that Izzy was speaking to us, but would the dice thing be too much?
“Well, I’m going to need you all to have a very open mind here.” I waited to see that they were willing. “Izzy picked the movie for us.” Not a single one of my friends scoffed, so I went on to explain our Movie Roulette game and the whole scene with the dice and how we ended up on that certain movie. I shared about Izzy making the song play, too. “Girls, it’s not a song I would have ever picked to listen to, but the lyrics are perfect. It was like her own little message to us that she’d always be with us but she needed to move on and so did we.”
As we finished our lunches, Audrey gave me a big cheesy grin. “So, Josie, what exactly did you have in mind for feeling sexy?” I know my face turned bright red and my sputtering answer just made the girls smile.
Jumping in to save me, Libby spoke. “Audrey, leave her alone. We’re here to help, Josie. I think you should start with some sexy underwear. You’ll know they are there, but Kyle may never even see them. Or maybe he will, who knows? Let’s get you a matching bra and panty set, that always makes me feel sexy and Nate loves them.”
“Oh! And let’s get pedicures! I’m not sure it will make you feel sexy, but it will feel wonderful, so let’s do it!” Carly smiled at me. I knew calling my friends would be the perfect distraction for me.
**********
Shopping for undergarments with the girls was interesting to say the least. They all decided it was a good time to get some sexy underthings for themselves so we all spent time giggling and trying things on. If I was nervous about being naked in front of them before, all of that disappeared in front of the 3-way mirrors. I envied their confidence and enjoyed just being one of the girls while we tried on thongs and cheekies and bikini panties plus bras. One thing I realized is that all four of us were beautiful in our own sizes and shapes. I found all of them attractive in different ways and I came to understand that our unique sizes and shapes and coloring were what made us beautiful. We were four very different women with four very different bodies; slim hips, fuller hips, small breasts, larger breasts, flat tummies, rounder tummies. But all beautiful. Standing in that fitting room with all of them, laughing and talking and sharing, I had an epiphany that I was beautiful just being me. No matter what my parents said, no matter what Wayne said. Not even what Kyle said. I was me, and I was beautiful just the way I was.
It was emotionally difficult watching Carly with her round, protruding belly. She caught my eye once or twice and grabbed my hand to let me touch her, so I could feel the movement. Tears welled in my eyes, but I was grateful for her sharing that with me. Her pregnant belly and full breasts, preparing for the birth of her and Nicky’s baby, were a miracle that I would never tired of seeing and I was so blessed to get to share it with her.
“Josie, no matter what, always dress sexy for yourself. If you feel sexy you’ll feel good for YOU. Don’t just dress sexy for Kyle or anyone else. You don’t need to feel good for them, you do it for you. Now, once you feel good and sexy, Kyle will be so turned on by your confidence that he won’t be able to stop himself. But don’t ever do it just for him, always do it for you first.” Libby smiled at me and nodded as Audrey gave me her advice.
“Oh! And I’m going to email you a recipe for some cookies you should make for him. Nate loves them and so does Nicky. I just recently found the recipe, but they are so delicious that I’m claiming them as my own and calling them ‘Libby’s Little Butter Cookies.’ You should be pulling them out of the oven just as Kyle comes to get you tonight. And wear an apron; Nate goes all gaga when I’m baking and wearing an apron. Seriously, these cookies are so good; Nate calls them ‘sex cookies’.” Libby giggled as she told me about these cookies; I had a feeling she’d be doing some baking soon herself.
**********
Once I was home, I realized I had just enough time to mix up the cookies that Libby wanted me to bake. While the dough was chilling, I’d have time to take a quick bath and make sure all was nice and smooth just in case things progressed after our date.
Before I dried my hair, I slid on a pair of emerald green silk thong panties and a matching silk and lace bra. It was the favorite of the three sets I’d purchased that day. I loved the feel of my skinny black pants sliding up my legs and the freedom the thong gave me. My small breasts stood up proudly with help from the bra and looked beyond hot in the V-neck sweater I pulled over my head. I donned a pair of peep-toe heels and the perfect necklace before heading to the kitchen. Apron in place, I scooped up cookie dough and began the baking process. Before long the entire house had a warm, sweet, buttery scent. I mixed up some of the ‘optional’ icing because, in my mind, icing is never optional, it’s a must.
I heard the doorbell ring as the last batch had 2 minutes left to bake. Rushing to the door, trying my best to wipe the flour off my face, I swung the door open to find Kyle standing there looking like the tatted, pierced god that he was.
We stared at each other, and I saw him swallow hard. He gritted his teeth and moaned a bit.
“Fuck, Jo. What are you doing to me?”
Kyle
“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. ~Deborah Reber
“Fuck, Jo. What are you doing to me?” She was wearing figure-hugging jeans, a low-cut sweater, ‘fuck-me’ heels, and an apron. A freakin’ apron. Did she know the types of fantasies I’d had about women in aprons and shoes like the ones she was wearing? Something about the way the apron hugged her waist and curves went straight to my quickly lengthening manly parts.
Just when I thought I was going to be able to control myself, she brought her finger to her mouth and sucked it. “Sorry, I still had some icing on my finger.” She said it innocently enough, but I saw a gleam in her eyes as if she realized it was affecting me. The sexy confidence in her eyes warred with her sheltered innocence; I’d never seen anything hotter.
I’ll blame it on the hypnotically heady scent of something delicious wafting through the air, but I grabbed her around the waist and crushed her mouth with mine. The growl that echoed around us was proof of how much this girl got to me. I wanted to spend every moment with her talking and laughing and, yes, getting to know her body.
Backing away from her as a piercing beep reached through my hazy brain, I let her go as her slightly swollen mouth formed a surprised ‘Oh’ and she ran off to the kitchen. I followed only to be punched in the gut as I watched her perfect ass bend over to remove small, golden cookies from the oven. I observed her in silent satisfaction as she removed the cookies from the sheet to a cooling rack. I noticed a bowl of icing on the counter. I slowly made my way to the bowl without her realizing it, taking a small swipe of icing with my thumb. Walking behind her quietly, I grasped her waist and leaned down to whisper into her ear. “We’re going to need to save some of this icing for a little later, but right now I want to taste it on your lips. Turn around, Jo.”
I felt her breathing increase and her heart beat was palpable under my lips on her neck. She turned around and her gorgeous eyes traveled up to mine. The hooded, sexy look she gave me was almost too much. I slowly spread the icing onto her full bottom lip with my thumb and groaned as she slipped her tongue out. Pinning her against the counter, I lifted her off her feet so that I could wrap her legs around my waist. Pulling her bottom across the counter so that her center was flush with me, I brought my head down and sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, biting and soothing with my tongue. I lost myself into the sweet taste of her mouth and the dance our tongues were quickly learning. My hands cre
pt up her torso, and I stopped breathing as she ground herself against my hard length.
If we didn’t stop now, we’d never get to dinner, and I didn’t want that. Actually, that’s a lie; I DID want that, very much, but I wanted this to be more. So, with great effort, I backed away from her. I’d never had sex just to have sex; it just wasn’t me. I wanted the whole deal with Josie; my traitorous body wasn’t happy with me, but sex with Josie was going to be real, not just a physical release.
“Hi, Jo.” I gave her a quick kiss with a rueful smile. “Um, I’m not sure that’s how most first dates begin, but I think we’ve got a little history on our side, so we can be excused for our faux pas. You look gorgeous; you taste even better.” I smirked at her blushing cheeks, loving the fact that I had this type of effect on her. “Go freshen up if you need to, then let’s go get dinner. I’m going to save some of this icing for later.” She blushed even harder, but I noticed a spark of interest in her eyes that gave me a shiver of anticipation. I was going to enjoy teaching Josie about what could really go on between a man and a woman.
**********
I laughed at Josie’s pouty lip over not taking the Harley; I knew she loved riding the bike, but winter had come back a bit this week in Torey Hope, and I didn’t want her to be too cold. “I promise you all the rides you want when the weather warms a bit, Jo.” My heart felt full when I walked around to her side of the car and opened her door; grasping her hand in mine, I felt damn near unbeatable as we walked into our favorite Mexican restaurant.
“¡Holá, amigos!” The host greeted us with a smile; it was safe to say we ate here quite often.
“Nos gustaría una mesa tranquila por favor,” I spoke quietly to the host. Josie’s head whipped around so quickly I feared she’d get whiplash. I just winked at her and let her lead the way as we followed the man to the far corner of the restaurant. We were the only people in that area and our host quickly lit the tall candles on the table.
“I am happy to see you both smiling. You are good together. Be happy.” The man smiled broadly as he left us at the table.
“What did you tell him? When did you learn Spanish?” Josie asked incredulously.
“I told him we wanted a quiet table,” I spoke with a smile. “I didn’t exactly learn Spanish, I simply memorized that one request just for tonight.” I laughed as she rolled her eyes and giggled.
“Well, it was very sexy, Señor.” She grinned at me and opened her menu. The only thing I wanted to feast on at that moment was her, but I checked myself and decided on an actual entrée.
Once we’d ordered, we enjoyed our chips and salsa. How the hell did the girl make chips and salsa look sexy? I had no idea, but I had to stop watching her eat before I busted a nut.
We talked about our days. I made her laugh telling her of the grown man who almost passed out in my chair when I did his “Mom” tattoo. Her eyes mesmerized me as she told of getting lost in her painting and the music she turned on across the hall in my studio.
When she told me about her little shopping excursion and the undergarments she may or may not have purchased, I could do nothing but stare at her and imagine what she may have on underneath her clothes. The mention of the four women being in sexy panties and bras all together in one big dressing room did nothing to help the hard-on I was sporting under the table. Never would I hit on Nate or Jeremiah or Nicky’s wives, but the thought of my girl almost naked with three other gorgeous women was a little too much to take.
My girl. I had just referred to Josie as my girl. I let it float around in my head for a bit as I took her hand across the table. My girl. I liked it.
“So, Jo-Jo, you want to go to the mall? A movie? Bowling?” I knew what I really wanted to do, but I didn’t want to make it obvious, so I figured I’d put the ball in her court.
“How about a quick stroll around the mall to walk off dinner and then we can head home for dessert.” I smirked and raised my eyebrows at her. Ducking her head to hide her quickly reddening cheeks, she laughed, “I meant the cookies I made, you pervert.” Laughing together, I paid the bill and held her hand as we walked outside into the bitingly cold air.
The mall was just a block from the restaurant so we walked briskly to beat the cold. As we strolled through the mall, Victoria’s Secret came into view. “Want to play a guessing game, Ky?” The sexy challenge in Josie’s voice went straight to my gut. She wanted me to walk around a lingerie store and play a game with her? Anything to please my girl.
“Wow, you’re quite the eye candy in a place like this, Ky. I may have to fight the drooling women off of you with sticks. ‘Back, bitches, he’s mine!’” Her eyes snapped to me in surprise, as if fearful of my reaction to her claiming me as hers.
“That’s right, baby, I am yours. You claiming me, calling other women bitches, and us standing in a sexy lingerie store is almost more than I can deal with right now; if we didn’t have an audience I’d show you just how much I’m yours.” I leaned down and kissed her a bit more possessively than I meant to. “What’s this game you want to play, Jo?”
“Well, I may or may not have shopped in here today. I may or may not have bought three sets of matching panties and bras that made me feel super sexy. I thought you could try to guess which ones I bought; if you see things you like, I’ll be sure to make a mental note that maybe I should pick them up next time I’m here.” The sparkle in her eyes intensified as she swept her arm around the store. “So, what do you think I may have bought?”
Not being one to care if people stared at me, I made a big show out of picking up various garments and debating, out loud, if I thought she would like that particular set. She was embarrassed, but I could tell she was also having fun. There were some extremely sexy pieces, but I assumed that her first foray into lingerie would have been a bit tamer. Although, she was with Audrey, so maybe she went with the sexiest she could find.
In the end, I guessed a deep purple lacey set, a silky black set, and a breathtaking emerald green silk and lace set. She didn’t confirm or deny if my guesses were correct, but I was anxious to get back to the house to see if I had guessed anything correctly.
Walking into the old Victorian, I was struck with how perfect my life was right now. I had a heap of sadness and a passel of great memories, but I also had a perfect woman in my arms and in my life. Watching Josie learn to love herself as I fell in love with her was a miraculous thing. My heart constricted a bit at the thought that we’d never have children, but I clung to the hope that our love and friendship would bring us through that painful reality. One thing that made it somewhat easier was that we KNEW she couldn’t have children, so it wouldn’t be like the painful years of trying and failing with Izzy. Also, part of me wondered how I would react to Josie having my child. Part of me wanted it more than anything, but part of me felt like I would be betraying my little Addyson Rose by having another child. While these thoughts flittered through my mind, I decided it was all a moot point since Josie knew she couldn’t have children.
“Here, try this cookie. Libby says Nate loves them and calls them ‘sex cookies.’ I’m not exactly sure why, but they are definitely tasty.” Josie held a cookie at my lips. I bit into the iced confection and immediately had a new favorite cookie. The crisp buttery texture balanced perfectly with the smooth sweetness of the icing.
“Mmmm, Nate calls these sex cookies because they are almost as good as sex. Either that or they always lead to sex.” I grabbed Josie and kissed her long and hard. “Now, woman, are we watching a movie or TV or spending our evening on other activities?” She giggled at my feigned demanding question.
“I think I’d like to spend it on other activities if that’s okay with you.” She blushed and leaned in to kiss me again.
“Yeah, Jo, that’s okay with me. More than okay.” After retrieving the left over icing from the fridge and smiling wickedly at her surprised look, I grabbed her hand pulled her to the bedroom. “Which room?” I questioned.
“Mine for toni
ght.” Hearing her qualify ‘for tonight’ did strange things inside of me; knowing that she planned on there being more than one night brought on many feelings inside of me, all of them good.
Walking into her room, she paused and turned to me. “Can we do something I’ve never done?” I chuckled and raised my eyebrows. Giggling, she gave me a little shove. “Not that, not yet. Can we dance?” Hearing that my girl had never danced with a man made me sad, but it also had me feeling like a strutting peacock knowing that I was the first to dance with her.
“Sure we can, Jo. Here, I’ll pull up some music. How is it you’ve never danced? Not even at your wedding?” How did a man marry this beautiful girl and not dance with her?
“No, Wayne was too busy hob-knobbing with business associates. He didn’t want our wedding to be too common-place so there was no dancing.” She hung her head as if this had been her fault.
“Jo, baby, look at me. None of his lame-ass shit is your fault. I’m sorry you’ve never danced, but I’m also feeling pretty damn proud that I get to be your first. Come here.” I swept her into my arms as a song started on my phone. I hadn’t chosen a song, I’d just chosen romantic on the little concierge and hoped that something good came up. “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes came on and I smiled at how perfect this song was for this moment. Was Izzy messing with my phone? I didn’t feel her presence, so I had to chalk this one up to fate.
Josie wrapped her arms around my neck and gazed up at me as I sang the words to her. I sang about her beauty both inside and out; of no matter how good she made me feel, I wanted to make her feel more; of how I wanted to hold her forever and make her feel wanted. As she settled her cheek against my chest, I didn’t know if I’d ever felt more satisfied. A shadow in the corner of the room caught my attention, and I stopped breathing for a split second when I realized it was Izzy. She smiled, blew me a small kiss, and offered a small wave before she was gone. I smiled sadly, but not too sadly. I missed her, and I was sad she was taken from me, but I had this great girl in my arms and no amount of missing Izzy was going to bring her back. It hit me like a ton of bricks at that moment: if given the chance, at this exact moment, what would I choose if given the chance? Bring Izzy back or move on with Josie? I thanked God that I wasn’t given that choice because I think it would have killed me to make that call. But, what I realized in that moment, for the first time, I wasn’t sure what I would choose. In the past I would have chosen Izzy in a heartbeat every single time. But, now, with my sweet Josie in my arms, I was grateful to not have that choice to make because I wasn’t sure I could turn her away.