Fly Away with Me

by Susan Fox

  “I know,” Eden said. “It’s a terrible situation. So, what did happen to Starshine? Was she okay?”

  “She healed after the miscarriage. And she left the commune. I think it was fairly soon after that, wasn’t it, Seal?” She glanced away.

  Seal said, “Yeah, I think.”

  “Do you know where she went?” Eden asked.

  Aaron stifled a smile. She really was tenacious when she wanted answers.

  Di shrugged and said impatiently, “People came and went, who knows where? She’s definitely not on Destiny, that’s for sure.”

  “And she might have gone back to her real name,” Eden said thoughtfully. “Do you happen to know what that was?”

  “Haven’t a clue,” Di said quickly. “Eden, I’m afraid your curiosity is going to have to go unsatisfied this time. Can’t you be content with having found me and Seal?”

  Eden gave a small laugh. “I suppose I’ll have to be, won’t I?”

  * * *

  Aaron’s expression was faraway, kind of wistful. Eden, sitting on a picnic rug beside him at Hog’s Back Park, felt distanced by it.

  It was late Thursday afternoon. He had spent the day at the Aviation and Space Museum, and then he’d picked her up and driven to this scenic park, bringing along a sushi dinner. They had avoided the neat lawns and picnic tables with noisy families and instead found a more wildernessy area. It was lovely and peaceful here on the big rocks by a river, under the shade of a leafy tree.

  But Eden’s mind wasn’t at peace. Tomorrow, Aaron would be back on Destiny Island. That had to be weighing on his mind, as it was on hers. What would happen to the two of them? She put down the plastic box of takeout sushi she’d been nibbling from. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  He blinked, as if he was bringing himself back to her. “Nothing.”

  “Aaron, I saw it on your face.”

  He leaned forward to wrap his arms around his knees. “It’s nothing big. Just that I miss the smell of the ocean. It’s not that I was even so conscious of it on Destiny.”

  “I was. I guess because it was foreign to me.”

  “Now that you say that, I remember noticing it when I first moved to the island. In Vancouver, the ocean was right there, too, but on Destiny there are no city smells to interfere with it. It’s fresh and pure. But anyhow, I guess over the years it just . . . became part of me. It’s the air I breathe. So I stopped noticing it. Until it wasn’t there anymore.”

  She copied his posture, dropping her head to rest on her bent knees. “What’s going to become of us?”

  He turned his head sideways toward her. “Guess we do have to talk about that?”

  She met his gaze. “I do.”

  “Okay,” he said resignedly. “I get it. You don’t want to waste time in a relationship that might not have a future.”

  She grimaced. “That sounds so harsh.”

  “Tell me it’s not true,” he challenged.

  “I suppose,” she admitted reluctantly. “Especially not a relationship that’s so difficult.”

  “I really do get it. I mean, if we carry on, what do we do? Skype. Have phone sex and—”

  “Seriously?”

  “Well, yeah. We’re lovers. No need to go without sex, right?”

  “Uh, I suppose not.” Phone sex? Was she capable of being that uninhibited? Probably. She’d learned all sorts of things about herself since she’d met Aaron. But she couldn’t believe phone sex would be anywhere near as satisfying as actual physical intimacy. She imagined curling up in her bed afterward, the phone to her ear as they talked. No warm body spooning her, no soft breath brushing her neck.

  He’d resumed eating his sushi and she forced herself to do the same. Between bites, he said, “I’m glad I came. This week’s been good. I saw you on your turf, learned a lot more about your job and your city. Met your family.”

  “Which wasn’t an unmixed blessing.”

  “Yeah, well, Miranda isn’t happy about you either.”

  His sister was upset that he was here with Eden rather than back home. No doubt Miranda felt as threatened by her as Eden’s parents felt by Aaron. “Family approval would sure be nice,” she grumbled.

  “We’re adults. We don’t need family approval.”

  “I know. It’s not like moving away from them equals abandonment. There’s Skype, texts, email, flights.”

  He put down his empty sushi container. “Which one of us are you thinking of?”

  “Moving?” She handed her own half-finished sushi to him. “Either, right now. I mean, I’m trying to imagine different futures. If I moved . . . Well, Mom’s doing well. Her health’s improving and so’s her state of mind since she and Aunt Di have reunited. I like Destiny Island and I think I could feel at home there. I’m sure I could find work, something that uses my law degree and feels worthwhile to me. Maybe with a charity or nonprofit.”

  He touched her arm, his fingers warm and firm. “That’s terrific that you’re considering it.”

  “Only considering,” she warned. “It would be hard. How about you? Are you considering moving?”

  “Only all the time,” he said wryly. “Sure, there are things to like about Ottawa and the area around it. I did some checking and I could probably get a job flying. Bush pilot stuff and tourist scenic flights.”

  “What about Blue Moon Air?”

  His shoulders tensed. “I’d hate to give it up. I built it, Eden. When I was a messed-up teen, it never occurred to me that I could build a business of my own, doing something I loved.”

  “Maybe you could sell it and use the money to start something similar, based here.” But could she really imagine him doing that? It struck her that asking Aaron to live here would be like caging an eagle in a zoo. It might survive, but it wouldn’t thrive and be happy.

  “Maybe.” He gave her a tired smile. “Lots of maybes, eh?”

  She nodded. “I know it’s way too early to make decisions, but I don’t do well with uncertainty.”

  He gave a soft laugh. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  When he put his arm around her shoulders, she leaned into him. “Even if the problems seem . . . well, not insurmountable but big,” she said, “I can’t imagine saying good-bye.”

  “Me either. So we won’t. I can take more time off work every now and then, come out and visit you.”

  “If I took an extra day when there are long weekends, I could fly to Destiny.”

  “Good. Seeing each other would be good. In addition to the Skyping and, you know”—he squeezed her—“the phone sex.”

  * * *

  Friday evening, Aaron smoothed dark curls from his niece’s forehead and planted a kiss on her soft mocha skin. “Sleep tight, Fairy-ana.” That had been his nickname for Ariana since she’d become obsessed with stories about fairies. He’d often wondered if that fascination tied in with a subconscious desire to have wings and magic so she could fly away from some of the not-so-nice apartments she and her mom had lived in. Now, though, she was safely tucked up in a toddler bed in the middle of a forest that, while it might not be enchanted, was full of beauty.

  Too bad his sister didn’t feel the same way. Miranda pulled the curtains with a brisk swish. “All the trees and the darkness and the freaking silence out there creeps me out. I don’t know how you can live out here.”

  “All the city lights, traffic, sirens, and drunks on the street would drive me nuts,” he shot back.

  “Whatever.”

  They returned to the kitchen and, working together with the ease of long practice, cleared the table and did the dishes. When he’d arrived home late that afternoon, he’d been greeted by his T-shirt–clad sister, his adorable niece, a house that had never been so clean, and the aroma of tuna casserole. It had been one of his and Miranda’s standbys as kids. They’d been able to stretch one tin of bargain tuna, another of cheap cream of mushroom soup, and a mess of bulk pasta into two dinners for both of them.

  He’d told Mir
anda to help herself to the stash of cash in his bedroom drawer and he didn’t like it that his sister was still eating this way. But at least she’d used more tuna, as well as some chopped mushrooms and onions, and she’d grated cheddar cheese on top, as well as adding a side of steamed broccoli.

  After the dishes were done, she made a pot of tea and they went into the living room. Aaron took a chair and Miranda curled into one end of the couch, tucking her legs up. She was pale and thin, her body almost disappearing inside the oversized gray T-shirt that she tugged down over loose shorts. Her blond hair straggled past her shoulders, limp and dull. Her bluish-gray eyes, always a shade bluer than his, had mauve shadows beneath them. Despite the dragon tattooed on her arm, the symbol of her strength, she looked miserable.

  “You’re settling in okay?” he asked. “Despite hating the trees and all.”

  She nodded. “Lionel helped me with a few things. He’s a good guy. He and his girlfriend had us over for dinner a couple of nights ago.” She fiddled with the hem of her tee. “She’s nice, too, Marlise. She told me about a couple of part-time jobs where I could take Ariana with me.”

  “I told you, you don’t have to get a job. I’d rather you took some courses.”

  “Yeah, I will. I have to, right? I mean, I’m sucking at the whole motherhood thing.” She sounded uncharacteristically fragile.

  “You’re a good mother. But you’d give Ariana a better life if you could get a decent job.”

  “I know.”

  Much as it annoyed him when she was snippy with him, it felt weird to hear resignation rather than her usual sassy tone.

  “Anyhow,” she said, “I can do both. A part-time job and some courses. One of the jobs Marlise mentioned is at a day care.”

  “Aside from being a mom, you don’t have any training for that.”

  “I know. But I love kids, and that might be a good job for me in the future. There are loads of day cares in Vancouver and it’s perfect work for a mom with a little kid. Some are unlicensed, but I’d want to get proper training. I mean, looking after kids is important, right?”

  “For sure.” They exchanged a meaningful look. Too bad neither their mom nor their grandparents had believed that.

  She went on. “I can do some research and find out what kind of courses I’d need to take. They’re sure to be available online. I mean, everything is.”

  “Great plan,” he enthused.

  A tentative smile flickered. “I have a plan. How about that?”

  “What’s the other job?”

  “It’s at Blowing Bubbles, the cool store where I got the toddler bed. They sell stuff like that, and kids’ clothes and toys. The owner and the other woman who works there both bring their little ones to work, but the employee’s going on maternity leave. Marlise phoned me today to say she’d talked to the owner and I can go in for an interview tomorrow. With Ariana.”

  “Go to the hairdresser first, okay?”

  She perked up enough to glare at him, but then the energy faded from her face. “I don’t know if I can take a job in the village. Seeing as your house is out here in the boonies, where the bus only comes by a couple times a day.”

  “We’ll get you a car.”

  The old Miranda roared back with a vengeance. “Jesus H, Aaron! I’m trying to pay you rent, not have you buy me a freaking car!”

  He rolled his eyes. “Gimme a break, Sis. I wasn’t going to buy you a new Ferrari. There’s a bunch of used cars around. I’m sure we can find something that’s cheap and in decent shape.”

  “It might be cheaper for me to rent a room near the village.” She dipped her head like it was too heavy to hold up.

  Something stopped him from uttering another protest.

  She raised her head again and said softly, “But I don’t want to. Aaron, this is really hard for me to say, but I need you. I feel like I’m . . . foundering. Floundering? What’s the word?” Not waiting for an answer, she went on. “I’ve been trying to hold it together for so long and I’ve run out of energy. Confidence. Pride, I guess. I need you.”

  “You’ve got me. Always. You know that.”

  Her head dipped again so he couldn’t see her expression. “But you’re dating this woman in Ottawa. You went to see her, so it must be serious.”

  “It’s . . . new, but yeah, it feels like it could be serious.”

  “Wow. I’ve never heard you say that before.”

  “I’ve never felt it before,” he admitted.

  She nibbled a cuticle. “So I guess I’m happy for you. Maybe you’ll have better luck than I’ve ever had.”

  “You don’t sound so happy. What’s wrong?”

  She hunched her shoulders and dropped her head, not meeting his eyes.

  “If you’re worried she’ll come between us,” he said, “it’s not going to happen. It’s a whole different thing. Girlfriend. Sister. Different relationships.” He wasn’t explaining it well, but hopefully she knew what he meant. “Eden has a sister, too. She gets it.”

  “Would she move here?”

  “It’s a possibility. If, you know, we get really serious about each other.”

  In a voice that was barely more than a mumble, she said, “What about you moving there?”

  He would never lie to his sister. “That’s another possibility.”

  She said something he didn’t catch.

  “Miranda? What did you say?”

  Her head lifted and he saw tears on her cheeks. “I’m a horrible sister. You’re so nice to me and I’m so mean to you, but I don’t know how Ariana and I would survive without you.”

  What had happened to his ballsy little sister? He hadn’t seen her so vulnerable since she was thirteen and cutting her arm with a razor blade—not, she’d assured him when he caught her, as a suicide attempt but so she could feel in control of one tiny part of her life. He went over and gathered her into an awkward hug. “No matter where I live, you’ll always have me.”

  She kind of burrowed into him, her face buried against his chest, sobbing. He felt the heat of her skin, the fragility of the bones in her back, the dampness of her tears soaking into his T-shirt. “Hey, Sis, it’s going to be okay.”

  They’d been tough kids and they’d turned into tough adults. This depression and insecurity she was going through wouldn’t last. Miranda the dragon girl would recover her spirit and things would be back to normal. She’d leave Destiny, the place she’d always hated, and reassert her independence. She’d cheer him on in his relationship with Eden.

  Yeah, it’d happen. Even if right now she was crying so hard it felt like her frail body was about to shake apart.

  Chapter Nineteen

  It was Sunday afternoon of the first weekend in August, the British Columbia Day long weekend, and Eden was on a sailboat for the first time in her life. Ontario had a holiday on Monday too, and she’d taken Friday off as well and come to Destiny.

  It was the second time she’d visited Aaron since his trip to Ottawa. She’d also come for the Canada Day long weekend at the beginning of July, sharing his bedroom while Miranda and Ariana slept down the hall. He had planned to come to Ottawa in midmonth, but, unfortunately, Jillian got the flu and wasn’t able to fly, so he’d had to stay on Destiny.

  It had been a long month. They had spoken almost every day, talking about their families, her work projects, his colleagues and passengers, books, TV, memories from childhood, anything and everything. And sex, of course. She’d discovered that phone sex could be surprisingly erotic, though it sure didn’t measure up to true physical intimacy.

  None of it was as good as being together. Especially being alone together. That time alone was a rare commodity. Even when she was on Destiny, sometimes Blue Moon Air was so busy that Aaron needed to fly. Then Eden would visit SkySong and spend time with Aunt Di and Uncle Seal, or go for coffee and a chat with Marlise, Iris at Dreamspinner, or old Gertie Montgomery, all of whom were turning into friends.

  At Aaron’s house, the prickly Mir
anda and the delightful but demanding Ariana were often around. Miranda kept apologizing for being there and Eden kept saying it was Miranda’s home and of course she should be there. The two of them hadn’t exactly clicked. Eden knew Miranda felt threatened by her, just as Eden’s mom felt threatened by Aaron.

  So far, this weekend was working out pretty well. Yesterday, Jillian and the other relief pilot had covered all the Blue Moon Air flights. Miranda had driven to town with Ariana after breakfast to spend the day working at Blowing Bubbles. Eden and Aaron had gone back to bed, where they’d spent the rest of the morning making love and talking. They’d roused themselves to pack a lunch and take it down the zigzag wooden staircase to the pebbly, driftwood-strewn beach below his place.

  After eating, they again made love—and barely managed to grab their T-shirts when a couple of whale-watching boats zipped around the point. They’d then driven into town to visit the Saturday market in the village park. They admired arts and crafts and clapped along to the catchy tunes played by a three-person ensemble. Eden bought wild rose soap for her mom and they picked up cheeses, fancy bread, and fresh pasta for a family dinner.

  Today, Miranda was at home, working on the online courses to get her GED, the first step toward becoming certified as an early childhood educator. Iris Yakimura had offered Eden and Aaron the loan of her family’s thirty-two-foot sailboat, the Windspinner. Aaron said the wooden boat was a classic, and it had clearly been well maintained and loved.

  It came as no surprise that he was a proficient sailor. She loved watching him as, clad only in shorts and Teva sandals, he maneuvered the sails and handled the tiller.

  The day was perfect for sailing, the sun’s heat tempered by a breeze that kept the sails filled and the boat skimming along. Eden, wearing a filmy, long-sleeved cover-up over her blue bikini, lazed on one of the seats in the cockpit and lifted her sunglassed, sunscreened face to the sky. When a small plane flew overhead, she waved, as people on boats had done when she’d flown over. “It’s a decadent life you lead, Aaron Gabriel.”

  He laughed and leaned over from the tiller to run his hand along her bare leg. “Only when you’re around. Other days, I’m flying from dawn until dusk.” He circled her ankle with his fingers. “Have I told you how glad I am that you’re here?”