The Mistakes I've Made

by J. L. Berg

  “Hello?” the familiar female voice answered.

  “Hey, Sierra,” I said. “You up for lunch?”

  Oh, yes, it was time for battle, and I was playing dirty.

  Seeing Sierra’s brilliant smile as she walked up to me just outside of Billy’s should have been my first clue.

  Not only was I making a huge mistake, but I was also a giant asshole.

  “This is a nice surprise,” she said, cozying up to me as we headed toward the back deck.

  “Just didn’t want to eat alone,” I said, desperately trying to downplay our date.

  Because it wasn’t a date.

  Definitely not a date.

  I looked into her eyes, so eager and full of hope.

  Jesus, she thinks this is a date.

  When am I ever going to stop screwing over this girl?

  “Well, whatever the reason, I’m happy to join you.”

  I gave her an uneasy smile, although it faltered the moment my eyes stumbled upon Leilani’s. She and Halladay, the architect, were already diving into an appetizer of shrimp while laughing over drinks, although I was happy to notice how her conversation seemed to stop, mid-sentence when she saw me saunter in.

  And I definitely didn’t miss the way her eyes had jerked toward Sierra and then back to me as she tried to quickly recover her conversation with Halladay.

  That dazzling gleam of a smile she’d had was no longer there though. No, now there was something else.

  Something that had me smiling—for real this time.

  Jealousy.

  Pure, unadulterated jealousy passed across Leilani’s face for a brief moment before she realized her error, her words stumbling over one another before she picked up her drink as a distraction.

  But I’d seen it all the same.

  Score one point for Taylor.

  But that point was quickly lost when, just a moment later, I almost ran into a nearby table, all of my attention still focused on the exotic beauty who was threatening to ruin my life.

  “Shit!” I cursed, instantly regretting my word choice when I looked down to find one of the local ministers and his wife.

  “Hello, Taylor,” he said, an amused grin spread across his worn face.

  “Hello, Pastor Reid,” I said, feeling like that misbehaving kid in the church pew, who was constantly being scolded for fidgeting during prayers.

  “I haven’t seen you around on Sundays lately.”

  My hand reached to the back of my neck, as I felt like the air temperature around me had spiked to the mid-nineties. Sweat dripped down my back.

  “I’ve been working,” I said.

  “Hmm,” he replied, a disapproving tone in his voice as he looked up at me through his black-rimmed glasses.

  Everyone on the island knew there were no fishing tours given during church time.

  “Well, if you ever find you’re not too busy, you know where to find us.”

  I swallowed hard. “Will do. Absolutely.”

  I caught Leilani’s cheeky grin out of the corner of my eye as Sierra and I scurried off to our table, far away from the reverend and his wife.

  She thought she’d gotten the best of me, seeing me stumble just now, but she must have forgotten the look of absolute torment that had swept across her face when she saw me walk in with another woman.

  I wasn’t the only one in over my head.

  “Who is she?” Sierra’s quiet voice brought my head back to face hers.

  “What? Who?” I casually tried to play it off.

  She wasn’t buying it. Her left eyebrow rose in an entertained sort of way. “You think I haven’t noticed the way your attention keeps being pulled in her direction?”

  I let out a defeated huff of air from my lungs. “Leilani Hart,” I said. “She’s the heiress from Hawaii who bought The Cozy Hotel.”

  She seemed to force a smile. “Oh.”

  “I’ve been asked to keep an eye on her progress,” I said. “For the town…to make sure we keep the lines of communication open. I’m her town liaison, I guess.”

  An amused chuckle fell from her lips. “Well, you are doing your job very well. If you need confirmation or a formal review, just let me know. I’ll back you up.” Every word she said was laced with sarcasm and pain.

  Leaning forward, I took her hand—not because I wanted to make the woman several tables down jealous, but because I wanted the woman in front of me to know I was being genuine—something I wasn’t normally good at when it came to the opposite sex.

  “I’m sorry, Sierra. I shouldn’t have asked you to lunch. I know it gave you false hope—”

  A smile stretched across her beautiful face. “Taylor, I’ve never once thought there was a chance between you and me,” she explained.

  “You didn’t?”

  Her eyes met the table and then found mine again. “No,” she said. “All I’ve ever wanted from you is friendship.”

  This time, it was me whose eyebrows were raised in disbelief.

  “Okay, maybe a little more than friendship at times. But you’ve got to understand that breaking up with Robbie was the hardest thing I’d ever done.”

  “He cheated on you—”

  “I know, but unfortunately, my heart hasn’t exactly caught up to the news yet. So, even though I want to hate him, I can’t. It might look like I’m hiding away at my grandparents’, but I’m just trying to find a way to heal. And it’s not always black and white.”

  “So, if we’re just friends—with a few added benefits,” I said with a smirk, “then why did you get upset over Leilani? Not that I’m into her.”

  She rolled her eyes, seeing through the lie I was trying to tell myself. “You know when you go on a diet?”

  My brows furrowed. “Uh, no. Not really.”

  She gave me a blank stare. “Really? Not ever?”

  “I run every morning for the most part, and my job is incredibly physical. I’ve never needed to diet.”

  Her eyes scanned my muscular physique, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. “Fair enough. Anyway,” she went on, “when I go on a diet, I always give up certain things. Like chocolate because of the sugar. There are a few days of withdrawal where you literally hate the world.”

  “That sounds awful. Why would you do that?”

  “Have you seen me naked?”

  “Go on,” I said.

  She grinned. “But, after the withdrawals, you begin to think that it’s not so bad. Until you sit down to a dinner out with friends, and one of those skinny bitches orders dessert. Then, you find yourself willing to fork your bestie to death just for a single bite.”

  “Wow, I, um—”

  She laughed, and I joined in.

  “Anyway, love is a bit like that. You think you’ve gotten over the worst of it, then one day, you see that single glance, that perfect beginning of something real, and you find yourself—”

  “Willing to fork someone to have it?”

  She smiled. “Exactly.”

  “Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but what you see happening between the heiress and me? It’s just business.”

  Her brow lifted. “Really? Because she’s looked over here half a dozen times, and she looks pretty damn put out about it.”

  “Seriously?” My eyes lit up, making Sierra laugh.

  “Not interested, my ass,” she muttered, leaning forward, giving me a flirty smile. “Now, let’s see if we can really make her jealous.”

  “You, my friend, are an evil genius.”

  “And you, Taylor Sutherland, are so screwed.”

  “What? Why?” I exclaimed as one of Billy’s waitresses came by to take our drink orders.

  “Because,” she explained, “take it from someone who’s been there. Love is a gamble, and you have no idea what you’re about to get yourself into.”

  I reached up to tuck back a piece of her blonde hair. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. This isn’t love. It’s just a game.”

  “And that’s where
you’re wrong,” she insisted. “Love, life…it’s all a game. Sometimes, you win, and sometimes…well, sometimes, you lose. Hard.”

  Lunch with Sierra had done more than lift my spirits.

  It had put things right between us.

  Although I doubted we’d ever be more than just friends from now on, I was more than okay with the outcome and glad to know I hadn’t completely screwed her over in my quest to ruin Leilani.

  Speaking of, Sierra had done a good job of giving me a leg up on that front as well. By the time we’d finished our meal, Leilani had seemed to be more than a little distracted, her attention focused more on me and my lunch date than her toothy architect.

  The ball was firmly back in my court.

  Since Dean had taken this afternoon’s tour, I found myself alone in the office, humming along to no song in particular as I dived into a mountain of paperwork.

  That was, until the door slammed wide open.

  “What the hell was that?”

  That damn voice. It got me every single time.

  Standing up, I turned and was struck once again by Leilani’s raw beauty. Even today, dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a long-sleeved blouse to combat the chillier autumn temperatures, she looked stunning.

  “Guess I could ask the same question,” I said, trying to play it cool as I shoved my hands in my pockets and casually leaned against my desk.

  “What?”

  “Well, you see, I thought we had an understanding, you and me.”

  “An understanding?” Her shocked face was kind of adorable.

  Not that I’d ever tell her that.

  Pushing off from the desk, I sauntered toward her, and boy, did she notice. Her gaze worked all the way down my body and back up again as she took a step back and then decided against it, standing tall and defiant.

  My grin widened.

  “At the lighthouse, I thought we’d reached a compromise. That is what we’re supposed to do, isn’t it? Reach common ground for the sake of the town?”

  “That’s not—”

  “That’s not what? What you had in mind at all? I noticed.”

  She opened her mouth to deny it, but I beat her to it. “How long did you wait to call your hotshot architect after I dropped you off last night? An hour? A couple of minutes? Or did you already have him lined up before I took a chance on you?”

  Her face was a mixture of emotions; a tangled web of hurt, followed by confusion and finally, anger.

  Oh, yeah. I definitely recognized the anger.

  “You know what, Taylor?” she said, taking a step closer.

  I could feel the heat from her bronze-colored skin.

  “What?” I grinned, matching her step with one of my own.

  Our bodies were touching now. Chest-to-chest. Hip-to-hip. The feeling of it was electric, and I felt shock waves all the way down to my toes.

  “You…” She struggled for the words as her chest heaved, so flustered and out of breath.

  And it was then that I realized…

  Now or never, Sutherland.

  I couldn’t go one second longer without—

  So, I kissed her.

  Taylor’s mouth crashed into mine, and all the anger I’d had, all the rage I’d felt over his pompous behavior, suddenly fell to a mushy puddle at my feet.

  Just this kiss.

  That was all there was.

  It filled my every thought. The way his hands seemed to have minds of their own—one so tender, gently cupping the curve of my cheek, while the other possessively pinned me so close to his chest.

  And his lips.

  Dear God, his lips.

  They consumed and dominated. I’d never felt so utterly enthralled by a single kiss in my whole damn life.

  I never wanted it to end, which was exactly why it had to.

  I wasn’t here for this, and as badly as I wanted it, as badly as I wanted him, the simple truth remained. I had six weeks to prove to my father that I was more than an heiress riding on his coattails.

  So, as hard as it was, as much as it hurt, I placed my hand against his chest and pushed myself away.

  Away from the heat and the spark.

  Away from the need of something more.

  Away from the possibility.

  “I can’t do this,” I said, my lips still swollen and wet from his touch. “I don’t have time for distractions.”

  My words hurt him, and I regretted them the moment I’d said them.

  Wiping away my kiss like a dark stain from his mouth, Taylor snapped back in anger, “Seems like you had all the time in the world for Mr. Halladay.”

  My back stiffened slightly from the jab. “Yes…well, it seems like you have plenty to keep you occupied,” I said, the visions of him flirting with the blonde at lunch still fresh in my mind.

  It shouldn’t have bothered me, but it had.

  It really had.

  An amused expression flashed across his handsome face as he traced his bottom lip with his pointer finger.

  I tried not to watch.

  “I think we need to set down some ground rules if we’re going to continue working together,” he suggested, taking a step back. He leaned against his desk once more, a stance that accentuated his long, lean body and reminded me of just how good it had felt to have him pressed up against me.

  I swallowed hard and looked away. “I agree.”

  “Good,” he answered. “First, this obviously shouldn’t happen again. I wouldn’t want you getting…distracted.”

  My stomach clenched as I noticed the way he’d said the last word like it was a foul taste upon his tongue.

  I nodded in agreement.

  “Also, I don’t think we should date anyone else.”

  “What?”

  He was amused with my shocked expression, but he simply leaned back, his arms firmly crossed over his broad chest, and chuckled.

  “Well, it’s apparent from today’s lunch fiasco that we can’t handle seeing each other with the opposite sex.”

  “That’s not true,” I protested, making his brow lift. “Okay, fine. But, just so you know, I had no interest in dating the architect anyway.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “That guy has it so bad for you; I wouldn’t be surprised if he was calling out your name in the shower as we speak.”

  “What? Ew, gross.”

  He casually shrugged, pawning it off as no big deal, until our eyes met once more, and I found myself wondering if Taylor was speaking from experience.

  Did he call out my name in the shower?

  When he was thick and wet, did he think of me, moaning at the peak of his orgasm?

  My breath caught, and I instantly flushed, just thinking of it. Turning away, I heard him clear his throat.

  “So, you’re good with not dating?”

  “Um, yes,” I answered. “Like I said, I don’t have time for distractions anyway. The question is, are you? You’ll have to give up the blonde.”

  “She’s just a friend.”

  I made a sound of disbelief, not believing him for a second.

  “Okay, great. Well, do you have anything to add?” he asked, becoming more detached by the second.

  “No,” I said, hating the wall that was being erected between us. I’d rather fight with him than this.

  “Well, if you think of anything, you know where to find me. Otherwise, I guess I’ll check in soon.”

  “Right,” I said, feeling like I was being dismissed. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

  And I did.

  Turning, I walked out, feeling more confused about Taylor Sutherland than I ever had. Minutes ago, I’d been so wrapped up in him that I could feel the thunderous beating of his heart.

  And, now, I was wondering if that kiss had really happened at all.

  I’d been staring at the bay for far too long, lost in my thoughts, when my phone abruptly ended my daydream.

  “Hello?�
��

  “Leilani? It’s Jack Halladay.”

  I was surprised to hear from him so soon. It had only been a handful of hours since our lunch meeting, especially since he’d ferried in all the way from Charlotte.

  I didn’t do a great job of hiding that shock in my voice when I replied, “Oh, hey, Jack.”

  He chuckled. “I know you’re probably wondering why I’m calling, but I had some free time to look over what you want done for the hotel project, and I think I can make it happen in that time frame—that is, if you plan on hiring me.”

  Jack was a confident sort of guy, and I got the feeling he didn’t hear the word no very often. And, if I were somewhere less rural where competent architects were plentiful and I had more time to interview and fully vet more than a few, I probably would have made him and his overinflated ego go through a few hoops before offering him this project that was so near and dear to my heart.

  But I was on a time crunch, and he was more than qualified. Plus, he’d done amazing work on a Hart project up the coast already this year. It was a win-win.

  “You can do both plans?”

  “I can do both plans,” he confirmed.

  “Then, you’re hired.”

  “Excellent. I look forward to working with you.” I could almost hear the smile in his voice.

  “Likewise.”

  Rather than wrapping up the call, there was some hesitation before he continued, “If you’re up for celebrating, I could hop on a ferry back to Ocracoke and join you for dinner tonight. I’m staying at a friend’s house in Hatteras for the evening.”

  I tried not to let out a frustrated huff.

  Does Taylor have to be right about everything?

  “I think it’s best if we keep this relationship strictly professional, don’t you?” I said, feeling all sorts of uncomfortable. This was not how I wanted to start out this working relationship.

  “Of course,” he answered quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just—”

  “Good night, Jack,” I said before he could say another word. “We’ll talk again soon.”

  I ended the call, wondering just how I’d managed to miss all the telltale signs throughout the day that my architect had the hots for me.