by Nikki Wild
“Chloe! Chloe!”
I turned and came face to face with a sad-eyed Randy.
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I’m sorry to bother you again, Chloe. But can we talk? Just for five minutes?”
I bristled and shook my head.
“I don’t have anything to say to you,” I said, turning away.
“Wait! Please!” he begged. “I have a lot to say to you. Just listen. Please, Chloe? Can I buy you coffee or something?”
I sighed, looking him over, trying to find some resemblance to me. Maybe the eyes a little, I thought.
“Alright,” I relented. “One coffee. And then I never want to see you again, okay?”
“If you say so,” he said, a smile spreading across his face.
We walked across the street to another coffee shop and I ordered decaf and sat down with him at a table near the window. Streams of New Yorkers flowed by, a melting pot of nationalities and shapes and sizes. I couldn’t help but think about how amazing America is, allowing a chance at freedom to all religions and races, welcoming in the downtrodden, the oppressed, the needy.
Maybe the pregnancy was making me sentimental, or maybe it was getting out of my bubble in Oregon and seeing the country for what it really was…a mix of people from all over the world. That’s what really makes this country great, all of the diversity coming together to form a perfect nation. Not that it was perfect, by a long shot, but nothing really is.
Not even this man sitting in front of me.
Even so, I was still annoyed that he’d bothered me again, but I thought if I heard him out, maybe he’d go away. I honestly had no interest in having him in my life after all this time of being absent.
As far as I was concerned, even taking into account the fact that nobody is perfect, we’re all flawed, we all make mistakes, I still had no use for him in my life.
My daughter shifted in my stomach, the fluttering sending a delightful thrill through me. I loved feeling her move. The first time had been amazing and I was so thankful that I’d felt it when Bear was there. I squealed with delight and he’d beamed with joy, not taking his hand off of my stomach the entire night. I smiled, thinking about him now. He was due home tonight and I was eager to see him.
I was excited to update him on the progress of the shop, but now I’d have to tell him about this meeting, too.
But first, I just wanted to get it over with. I looked at my watch to note the time and looked over at Randy expectantly.
“So, five minutes. What’s up?”
“I’m so glad you agreed to talk with me,” he said, smiling over the table. “It’s so good to see you, Chloe. You’ve really grown up.”
“I certainly have. That’s what happens after twenty-six years.”
“You’re angry. That’s understandable.”
“I’m not angry,” I said, with a dismissive wave. “Maybe I used to be, but right now, I just don’t give a shit about you at all, honestly.”
He blinked at my harshness, but I didn’t care if I hurt him. He deserved it. He’d hurt me all my life.
“Okay,” he nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. “I suppose an explanation is in order.”
“I’m really not interested in an explanation.”
“Well, let me give you one anyway, okay?”
“I guess so,” I said, my voice full of exasperation.
“I was young. I was stupid,” he began. “Matilda was strong, determined, always so sure of herself.”
“Nothing’s changed in that department,” I said.
“I’m not surprised. I knew she’d go on to do great things,” he said. “And I knew she’d take great care of you. And by the looks of you, it appears I was right in that regard.”
I cringed at his words. Matilda might have taken care of the necessities, but saying she took good care of me wasn’t something I’d say myself. She housed me, she fed me, she took me to the doctor when necessary, but other than that, she wasn’t really present.
“When I found out she was pregnant, I panicked. I stuck around through the pregnancy, but once we brought you home, I knew I wasn’t prepared to be a parent.”
“Nobody is,” I replied angrily, thinking of myself. Hell, I was scared to death of being a mother, not to mention afraid of actually giving birth. But I was going to do it, because it was what you did when you were a parent. You put your own shit aside and did what was best for the child. I had every intention of doing that, no matter how hard it got. If he was looking for me to relate to him, he wasn’t going to find it.
“You’re right,” he said. “And you’re right to be angry. I get it, I do. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have let my fear get in the way. I never should have left.”
“No, you shouldn’t have,” I said, looking at my watch. He had two minutes left.
“I guess I just wanted to apologize. Now, I see how much I screwed up. How it must have affected you.”
“I’m fine,” I replied cooly.
“You are, aren’t you?” he asked. “You’ve done very well for yourself, Chloe. Marrying Bear Dalton will ensure you’re taken care of for the rest of your life.”
“I can take care of myself just fine,” I said, “I’ve been doing it all my life.”
“I know,” he said. “But the money has to help.”
“My husband’s money is none of your business.”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. “I just mean in general, money can solve a lot of people’s problems.”
“I suppose,” I said, with a dismissive wave.
“Is there anything you want to know about me?” he asked.
I stopped short at his question. When I was younger, I’d spend hours daydreaming about what my father might be like. I’d seen pictures of him, much younger than he was now, smiling with his arm around my mother, his hand resting on her swollen belly, or the two of us playing together at a park. I’d always wondered what he was thinking in those pictures, if he ever thought of me now, where the hell he was…
“Where do you live?” I asked.
“Here, in New York,” he said. “I’m at St. Anthony’s, over in the Bronx.”
“St. Anthony’s?” I asked.
“It’s a shelter,” he shrugged.
“A homeless shelter?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’ll get out soon, though. Just need to get back on my feet, get a job…it’ll happen. I have hope.”
“I see,” I nodded, wondering if the absence of any feelings whatsoever about this news was normal. Shouldn’t I care that the man who fathered me was homeless while I lived in one of the nicest penthouses in the city? Shouldn’t I feel sorry for him? Should I offer him money? A place to live?
My head spun with questions, but my heart remained firmly closed for business. When it came to him, I just felt dead inside. I’d felt that way for a long time, though.
“So what did you do in the twenty-six years between then and now?”
“I traveled around, finding odd jobs here and there. I went to Mexico for a while, lived in Texas for a few years, but nothing ever stuck. I’ve always been a bit of a wanderer, I guess.”
“How long have you been in New York?”
“Just a few weeks. When I saw the announcement in the papers that you were getting married, I hopped a train and made my way up.”
“You came up here because of that?” I asked, incredulously.
“Yes,” he admitted.
“Why?” I asked, suspiciously.
“To see you,” he said.
“But you haven’t made an effort to see me in all these years and now you go out of your way. That doesn’t make sense….wait a minute,” I paused, reality dawning on me. “You want money.”
“What?” he asked, shaking his head. “I wanted to see you.”
“I don’t believe you,” I said, standing up. “If you truly wanted to see me, you’d have contacted me sooner.”
“
Look, I’ll admit having a daughter married to one of the richest men in the world makes me happy. But I did want to see you.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head, my lips pressed together firmly.
“No, what?”
“No, I’m not giving you any money! Stay away from me, Randy, do you understand?”
“But, Chloe, I’m your dad!”
“No, you aren’t. You just donated a few sperm, that’s all, and that doesn’t make you a father.”
“Chloe, please?” he asked.
“Please what?”
“Don’t turn your back on me. I’m homeless. And you live in that penthouse, your husband has so much money, he’ll never be able to spend it all…”
“Yeah,” I said, “but that’s not really any of your concern, is it?”
“Chloe, don’t walk away from me…” he said, as I turned towards the door.
“Why not? That’s what you did to me. To Matilda. I don’t see any reason why I need to have someone like you in my life. I don’t owe you a thing. Goodbye, Randy,” I said, walking to the door and leaving him sitting at the table alone.
“Chloe, if you walk out the door, you’ll regret it.”
I paused, looking back at him with wide eyes.
“I regret walking in it. Don’t contact me again,” I said, pulling open the door with shaking hands and walking out onto the street. I ran back to my apartment with angry tears welling up in my eyes.
By the time I was back in the penthouse, I was sobbing and furious rage was rushing through my veins.
Bear
I held Chloe in my arms while she cried. I was so pissed that her dad had approached her again and upset her so much. I hated that if it wasn’t for her marrying me, he probably wouldn’t have shown up at all.
Greed has a fucked up effect on some people.
“Maybe if I just give him some money, he’ll go away,” I suggested.
I wasn’t prepared for her reaction.
“No fucking way!” she cried. “I’d never do that.”
“It’s just money and if it makes something better for you, than I’d gladly pay him to go away, Chloe.”
“Fuck him,” she said, drying her tears and shaking her head. “He doesn’t deserve a dime. Why should he profit off of me after all these years? What kind of man does that?”
“It sounds like maybe he did you a favor staying out of your life, honestly. A person like that could never be a good father.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “I’m thankful for that, too. As bad as Matilda was, at least she wasn’t that screwed up.”
“Matilda loves you,” I said.
“I know,” she replied. “She just loves herself more.”
I pulled her into my arms, my heart breaking that she was in pain. And fuck that guy. I wanted to pummel him for upsetting her.
“Is there anything I can do to help, Beauty?” I asked.
“Just hold me,” she whispered, burrowing into my chest.
“Always,” I said, pulling her tighter. I pressed my face into her hair, inhaling her intoxicating scent deeply. I loved her so goddamned much, it was astonishing.
“How’s the nursery coming along?” I asked, hoping to take her mind off of Randy.
“It’s adorable,” she said. “I’ll show you in a little while.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” I said. She’d been crying when I got home from the cabin and I’d sat her down and made her tell me everything. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, too,” she sniffled.
“You’re so strong, Chloe,” I said. “You’ve grown by leaps and bounds in these last few months.”
“I’m trying,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
“You’re doing great. I’m very proud of you, babe,” I said.
“Thanks, Bear. That means a lot to me,” she said. Her words were muffled into my chest and as we lay there on the couch, I couldn’t help but count my blessings again.
“You and the baby mean everything to me, Chloe,” I said. “I don’t want anyone upsetting you again. If he comes back or tries to contact you again, I want you to stay away from him and tell me right away, alright?”
“Sure,” she said. “I don’t think he will, though. I made myself pretty clear.”
“I hope not, but don’t be surprised. If there’s anything I’ve learned, is that greed makes people persistent and relentless.”
“Duly noted,” she said. “I’ll let you know. I don’t want to talk about him anymore. How was your time at the cabin?”
“It was…weird, I guess,” I said. “I’d already gone through everything when I was there before and I was hoping I’d find something else,” I said. “The journals were vague, but there was this entry at the end that gave me pause. Something happened with Bruce’s last case. I don’t know what exactly but I’m getting closer to finding out.”
“What do you think happened?”
“I’m not sure. I found a CD last time I was there. I didn’t tell you about it because I wasn’t sure if it was important or not. It’s a recording of a conversation between two men talking about a transaction. But I don’t know who they are.”
“And you think it has something to do with Bruce’s death?”
“It’s possible. There’s something else, though. Last night, I went for a run. When I came back, someone was in Bruce’s cabin. He was going through his things.”
“Oh, my god, Bear!” she said, her head shooting up. Her eyes were full of alarm. “What happened?”
“I waited in the dark, watching him. He was about to go into my cabin, but I distracted him and he took off.”
“Bear, that sounds dangerous,” she said, her brow furrowed.
“I’m fine,” I said, shrugging. “Nothing happened. He didn’t even see me. I contemplated confronting him, but I followed him and got his license plate number instead.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t do that!”
“I’m sure I could have taken him,” I shrugged. I didn’t want her to be worried. That guy was three times my size, of course he could have hurt me. But she didn’t need to know that.
She kept looking at me, though, and I knew she was worried.
“Chloe, it’s fine.”
“Bruce died, Bear. You think someone killed him. You have to be careful! I can’t risk anything happening to you!” Her eyes were wild with alarm.
Goddammit. I’d done the one thing I’d wanted to avoid. It was a fine line between being open with her and protecting her from the truth.
“Chloe,” I said, pulling her back into my arms, “stop that. Nothing is going to happen to me, trust me. I promise. Do you think I’d do anything to put myself in danger of not being here for you and the baby? I would never do that, babe. You have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
“Just be careful,” she said again.
“I promise, babe,” I replied. “I promise…”
Hours later, I untangled myself from her naked limbs. I stood over her, looking down at her breathtaking beauty. My eyes traveled down to her barely swollen belly and I marveled at the fact that our child was in there. I couldn’t help but smile, my heart swelling with love for someone I’d not even met yet.
I settled in my study with the journals and my cell phone. I called Charlie right away, hoping he had some information for me by now.
“You’re in luck,” he said. “I was able to get some good info for you.”
“That’s what I wanted to hear, brother,” I said. “Tell me everything.”
“Okay, so Rio Santiago is indeed out of the slammer. He’s back in his old neighborhood, still running everything like the biggest cock on the block. Back to dealing drugs and women, or so I hear.”
“You get a hit on that license plate?”
“Sure did. Registered to Vito Alonzo, who just happens to be Rio’s cousin and right-hand man.”
“I knew it!”
“Yep, real dangerous mother-fucker, that
guy. Good thing you didn’t confront him.”
“Whatever, I could’ve taken him,” I replied.
Charlie snorted.
“Fuck you, Charlie,” I said, with a smile.
“They make bullet proof vests out of money these days? Or maybe you afford a few bionic parts?” he teased.
“What else did you find out?” I asked, ignoring his dig.
“Okay, so the case. I snooped around and heard some interesting rumors going around the DA’s office.”
“Like what?”
“Well, as you know Rio’s case was Bruce’s last one. And it was real ugly, too. Lots of infighting within the department. Apparently, some key evidence came up missing, but nobody will say what it was. I’m still working on that.”
“Do you think it was the CD?”
“I sure do. The case numbers match. And I gotta tell you, Bear. Lots of people blamed Bruce, maybe not to his face at the time, but the word on the street is that Bruce was suspected of withholding evidence that would have ensured Rio stay behind bars for a long time. Instead, his sentence was miniscule. I guess there were a lot of people pretty pissed at Bruce. He denied it, of course. But with him quitting right after the case, it only increased suspicions.”
“Why didn’t they do anything about it?”
“To save face, I guess. The didn’t want to look incompetent.”
“I see,” I said. “Alright. Anything else?”
“Not yet, I’m still digging.”
“Alright, thank you, Charlie. Oh, hey, do you have an address for Santiago?”
“I do,” he said, rattling it off to me as I jotted it down. “You aren’t thinking of going to see him by yourself, are you?”
“Not sure,” I lied. That was exactly my intention.
“Bear, that’s a bad idea. At least take me with you. You could get yourself in a sticky situation. And I fucking know you aren’t bionic, so don’t even try to fool me.”
“I’ll let you know,” I said, “thanks again, brother.”
“Alright,” he replied, warily. “I’ll call you as soon as I have anything else, but try not to get yourself killed in the meantime, okay?”
“Goodnight, Charlie,” I said, hanging up the phone.