by Nikki Wild
I remembered that night. We’d celebrated till the early morning, Bruce completely beside himself with happiness.
“That was a good night, brother,” I said to the empty room. I kept telling myself he could hear me, even if it wasn’t true. It just made me feel better to talk to him. I kept reading.
My first week as the DA did not go as planned. It was fucking hard. Harder than I expected, even though I know the job backwards and forwards. It was the internal office politics that threw me. The people who didn’t vote for me are pushing back against my decisions hard and I have to fight to stand my ground. I have to do it, though, or they’ll never have faith in my ability to do this job. I have to appear confident about every decision, even if I’m not one hundred percent sure at the time. It’s exhausting…but goddamn, do I love it!
I could hear his voice as I read on.
I made a huge mistake. It was late, my defenses were down. Lacey was there working with me. We were alone in the office and I don’t know what happened. I’ve been working so much, I’ve been neglecting my physical needs. I never should have let that happen, but one kiss turned into more and then there we were—naked on the couch in my office. If she tells anyone, my career is ruined…
My eyebrows raised at that entry. So Lacey and Bruce slipped up, huh? She’d certainly not shown any indication of anything like that. I wasn’t surprised. Why would she tell me? Maybe that’s what I was sensing at her office. I knew she was being short with me and with Bruce being my best friend, she probably thought I already knew. I was a little disappointed that he hadn’t told me, actually, but it was his secret to do with as he pleased. Besides, these entries were from a long time ago. So much had happened since then. I put away the early journals and pulled out the more recent ones. If I was going to find any clues at all, they’d most likely be in those.
These entries were shorter, angrier, full of the frustration that had enveloped Bruce during his last years at work.
I can’t believe I lost that case. I was sure I had it in the bag. I failed myself and I failed the victims. And then, I decided to throw fuel on the fire and let my guard down with Lacey again. I have to stop doing that. She keeps flirting with me and I know it’s so wrong. Not only is she my employee, but if her fucking husband found out….I don’t even want to think about it. Another night of drinking myself to sleep and trying to remember that somewhere inside this flesh suit is a good man….
Six months passed before there was another entry and this next one was from the last few months of his working as the DA. It was also the very last one in the book.
Fuck Rio Santiago. I can’t believe I’m in this position. How did this fucking happen? I thought I had it all under control, and once again the rug gets pulled out from under me. I never could have prepared for this obstacle, though. I should tell Bear. But I know what will happen if I do. He’ll try to fix the problem with his money and money can’t help me now. Rio’s figured out my one weakness. If I don’t do what he wants, I’ll lose the one person in the world who means anything to me, and there’s no fucking way I’m going to let that happen. I have to do what he wants…
My blood ran cold, my head spinning. What the fuck was he talking about? How in the world could I be involved? Just as before, I was left with more questions. I needed to know more about Santiago. I needed to figure out where he was now and what the hell happened during that trial.
I knew one person who could help me with that.
I picked up the phone and he answered on the second ring.
“Dalton!” he answered, his voice bellowing through the phone.
“Hey, Charlie. How are you, brother?” Charlie Iverson was the man I called when I needed knowledge. He could discover anything you tasked him with. He had a network bigger than my own and if you needed information that maybe wasn’t supposed to be surrendered to you, well Charlie had ways to get around things like that. He was discrete and thorough. I trusted him completely.
“I’m doing alright. Not as good as you, though…”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw you and your pretty young bride, you crazy old man. How do you keep up with a girl like that at your age?”
“Shit, you’re older than me, Charlie. You don’t have room to talk.”
“I know, that’s why I’m asking! You have one of those little blue pill prescriptions?”
“I don’t need any help in that department right now, if you must know. And how the hell did you know I got married?”
“I’m a private investigator, Dalton. It’s my job to know things.”
“Yeah, yeah. That’s actually why I’m calling you. I’ve got a job for you…”
Chloe
“You’re going back up there?” I asked, my brow furrowed. “How long will you be gone?”
“Just for the weekend,” Bear said. He’d just sat me down on the couch and told me he was going back to the cabin upstate. When he explained why, I realized I had no place to argue. He’d filled me in on what he’d read in Bruce’s journals and told me that he needed to keep investigating. I understood, but I still wished he wouldn’t go.
Nothing he did was going to bring Bruce back. However, I realized that what he was going through was the many stages of grief. What he needed was closure. And if digging through Bruce’s past was what got him there, who was I to get in the way?
“I’ll miss you,” I said.
He pulled me close, kissing me gently.
“It’ll be a quick trip, I’ll be back before you know it.”
“Well, I suppose I do still have a lot of work to do,” I said. “I’d be too busy to have any fun with you anyway.”
“How’s Violet working out?”
“She’s amazing. Thank you for putting me in touch with her.”
“I knew you’d hit it off. She’s competent, smart, and she has great intuition. Did the two you go look at the retail space I told you about?”
“Yep, we went today,” I replied. “It was absolutely perfect, Bear, you were so right. The fact that you own the building is even better. No rent? I am so blessed. I couldn’t do this without you.”
“Oh, you’ll be paying rent,” he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What are you talking about?” I said.
“You’ll be paying rent, love, just not in dollars,” he said.
“Oh, I see. You’re going to take it from me in other, more creative, out of the box kind of ways?”
“Oh, I’ll definitely be in your box,” he said, laughing.
“That sounds like a fair price,” I said, our laughter echoing through the house. It was a cold night and the fireplace was roaring, the faint sounds of the city lingering in the distance.
Bear’s kiss was gentle, yet demanding. I wrapped my arms around him, melting under his touch, falling back onto the couch. He laid on top of me, his hands running over my rapidly growing curves.
He stopped kissing me when he touched my stomach. He propped himself up, staring down at me, his eyes filled with love and wonder.
He leaned down, kissing my belly gently.
“Remember when we first met? And you said you didn’t want kids?”
“Yes, and you agreed.”
“It was a big lie,” he winked. “Now, I can’t wait to hold her, to smell her, to hear her adorable little cooing sounds…”
“Bear Dalton, I dare say you’re becoming a big mush ball!”
“If that’s so, it’s all your fault.”
“Well, there are worse things to be guilty of.”
“I never thought I could be tamed like this, Beauty.”
“You? Tame? You’re kidding, right?”
“No, I’m not. I used to fantasize about the next fear I could conquer, or how I was going to find a way to buy a building that someone didn’t really want to sell. I was an adrenaline junkie. Now? Nothing sounds better to me than picking out baby clothes and staying home and making love to my wife.”
“W
ell, if you’re looking for an apology, you’ve come to the wrong place,” I laughed.
“I’m not looking for an apology,” he said, kissing me again, harder this time.
“What are you looking for?” I asked, arching my back, teasing him, doing my damnedest to seduce him.
He looked into my eyes then trailed his gaze down my body, lingering on my swollen breasts, my rounding belly. I’d taken to wearing long flowing dresses and I smiled when I saw him reach down and lift the skirt of it. He scooted down between my legs and I opened my thighs, welcoming him.
He smiled and winked.
“This is what I want,” he growled, before disappearing under my skirt, his head hidden by the flower printed fabric.
His tongue dove into me.
“Well, you’ve definitely come to the right place for that…” I murmured, letting my thighs fall open, as I lifted my hips to his delicious caress.
Bear
The cabin was quiet. Way too quiet.
I walked around the big house after I got there, making myself dinner and lighting a fire. I had no idea what I was looking for. Perhaps there was nothing left to find. I’d already searched Bruce’s place, after all.
Honestly, I just needed to get away from the city, from the noise constantly running through my head.
I’d asked Charlie to look into Santiago for me. A quick internet search had indicated he’d been released just a few months before Bruce’s death. I didn’t like where my thoughts were going, but I couldn’t deny the possibility either. I knew Bruce likely wouldn’t have killed himself, and if he did, he wouldn’t have just done it because of depression. I just couldn’t believe that.
With the taped recording and that last journal entry, I was sure I was onto something here. I just had no idea what it was.
I spent the evening pouring over his journals again by the fire until I couldn’t see straight. I fell asleep on the couch, my dreams haunted by memories of Bruce.
The next morning, I woke up more determined than I’d been before. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong and I’d learned long ago to trust that feeling when it arose. I went for a long run through the woods, showered and ate breakfast before I made my way out to Bruce’s cabin.
It was just as I’d left it weeks ago. But I could have missed something.
Again, I searched it high and low, looking through every dresser drawer, every pocket of his clothes, every file in the desk. I even crawled into the attic and looked up there in the dark, dusty corners.
Nothing.
“Damn it, Bruce, help me out,” I said. I sat on the brand new bed, the place he’d taken his last breath, trying desperately to establish a connection with him. I wasn’t a religious man, by any means, and I wasn’t even sure I believed in any sort of afterlife at all, but if there was any way Bruce could communicate with me, I welcomed it.
After eight hours of searching every nook and cranny, I was left with nothing but frustration. I went back to the main cabin and made myself dinner and called Chloe. I felt a little guilty being away from her, but I needed this time to myself. She, of course, was sweet and gracious and completely accommodating, as usual.
I don’t deserve a woman like that, I thought. She was better than me, so much more forgiving than she should have been. I knew this, I knew she didn’t have to forgive me so easily. All of this only reinforced my intention of never treating her badly again. I was trying to shake the shame I felt for my actions, but I wasn’t sure that would ever go away.
Maybe after a few years time it would all fade away, but as for now, I still felt like shit.
I felt terrible about what I’d done to her. I felt terrible for failing Bruce. I wasn’t a man used to feeling regret, but I was bathing in it these days. I hated it, of course. I wanted to shed this skin, but it wasn’t the skin that was the problem. It was what was inside of me.
Had I been so selfish that I’d not paid proper attention to the two people I loved the most?
It was too late for Bruce, nothing I could do would bring him back, but I was determined to find out the truth, now more than ever. It was the only thing left for me to do. It was the only way to make it up to him.
Thank goodness I still had Chloe so that I could make things up to her. At least I had that opportunity.
In the meantime, I was crawling out of my skin. I was amped up, restless, my head spinning with ideas and thoughts as I tried to wrap my head around everything.
I was about to drown my sorrows in a glass of twenty year old scotch, but I thought better of it. It wouldn’t do anything to ease the irritability and frustration I was feeling.
I headed out for another run after strapping on a head-lamp. The forest around the cabin was quiet and dark, but I knew the trail well. My feet pounded the ground furiously as I ran for miles before turning around.
Sweat poured down my back as I picked up the pace on the way home. I told myself the wetness pouring down my cheeks was sweat, too. By the time I was back on my property, I was panting hard, my heart beating so fast I thought it would burst from my chest. But all my irritability was almost gone and I felt a little better.
The scotch called my name now and I knew I’d fall asleep hard and fast as soon as my head hit the pillow.
I slowed down as I approached Bruce’s cabin. A light shone through the window and I stopped in my tracks. I was sure I’d turned them all off before I’d locked up. I peeked in the window and froze.
Someone was in there. A man, a very large man, stood behind Bruce’s desk, rifling through it, just like I’d done only a few hours ago.
Quickly, I contemplated what to do. I jogged back to my place and pulled my handgun from my safe and quietly crept back down the trail that connected the two cabins. I looked in the window again and saw he was now looking through the kitchen drawers.
The sound of a ringing phone broke through the silence. With a grunt, he fished in his pants for his phone, answering in a low muffled voice.
“Yes?” he answered.
He paused, listening.
“There’s nothing here, boss. I’ve looked everywhere. I’m going to search the big cabin next. Maybe it’s there.”
Fuck! I thought, my heart hammering in my chest. He sounded just like the guy on the tape. I could have confronted him, but he was much bigger than me. If went into the cabin, he’d see the roaring fire, the dirty dishes in the sink…he’d know I was there and I certainly don’t want this asshole in my home.
I snuck back into the forest, deep enough down the trail behind the cabin so that he couldn’t see me, but I could still see the door.
When he came out, he did so slowly, his large frame wobbling towards my cabin. I pulled out the gun and pointed it over my head. I took a deep breath and then pulled the trigger, the shot sounding out over head and sending birds shooting out from their roosts.
The man froze and looked around with wild eyes, before turning around and hurrying back past Bruce’s cabin and then back down the hill. I followed as close as I could without him seeing me. He’d parked down at the bottom of the hill and I watched as he got behind the wheel of a black SUV. I waited till he’d started to drive away and burst out of the trees with my cell phone pointed at his license plate. I snapped a photo as quickly as possible and ran back into the trees and watched until his SUV disappeared from view.
I walked back to the cabin breathless, my head spinning.
Now my fears were confirmed.
This didn’t prove my theory that Bruce didn’t kill himself, but it sure did confirm that there was more to the story.
As soon as I got back into the cabin, I locked the doors and texted the photo to Charlie with a message asking him to find out who the registered owner of the SUV was.
I may not have any more answers, but I was knew I was closer than ever.
At least now I had another clue.
I poured myself another scotch to slow the adrenaline rushing through my veins, finally finding
sleep, my gun resting on the nightstand right next to my head.
Chloe
“Violet, you are amazing,” I said. We sat in a coffee shop near Central Park, going over all the information she’d collected to share with me. We’d secured the retail space, which just meant registering the address, since Bruce owned it, and the seamstresses were hard at work in my apartment right now. Everything was coming together perfectly.
“It’s true, I am amazing,” she said with a wink. “Now tell me, did you decide on a name yet?”
“Bear suggested it actually,” I said, “and I love it.”
“So, what is it?”
“I’m going to call the shop ‘Beauty’,” I smiled with pride.
“Oh, I like it. Simple. Elegant. One word, easy to remember. It’s perfect,” she said, with an approving smile.
“I’m glad you like it,” I said. Bear had suggested it before he’d left for the cabin the other night and as soon as he’d said it, I knew it was perfect. It seemed so obvious now.
It gave me a little thrill knowing that a little piece of us had inspired it. Without him, none of this would be happening, and it just seemed fitting somehow.
We finished up our meeting and agreed to meet again in a week. I walked out of the coffee shop with a sense of accomplishment and pride. It was all coming together and I couldn’t be happier.
I’d walked to the coffee shop today, not wanting to bother Max for such a short walk from the penthouse. The snow had disappeared a few days ago and it was sunny and cold. I pulled my coat tight around me, shivering against the crisp chill in the air.
I was almost to the entrance to the building when I heard someone call my name.