Sinful Desire

by Lauren Blakely

Colin raised his can. “In middle school, I went to a school dance, and when he picked me up he spotted a hickey on my neck. He was cracking up, and I tried to deny it by making up some ridiculous story that the girl had scratched me accidentally during a dance. He went along with it, even though he said, ‘Someday you might like it.’”

  “And now you do, right?” Michael asked.

  “Oh yeah. I love hickeys.”

  “I remember when he went to work that night,” Ryan began, eyes misting over with the memory. “He told me he was taking some kids to prom, and that someday I’d be the guy taking the girl to prom, and that I should be nice to the driver, because girls like that, and because it was the right thing to do. And then he told me he loved me. That was the last thing he said to me. That he loved me.”

  Shannon clasped her hand over her mouth, and a huge sob fell from her throat. She threw her arms around Ryan, and then grabbed her other brothers and pulled them into another group hug. “I remember love,” she whispered in a broken voice. “Most of all, I remember love.”

  “Me, too,” Ryan said, and they all chimed in and echoed with another, “Me, too.”

  * * *

  Later, after they cleaned up and headed inside, Ryan nudged Colin with his elbow. “Hey, what was the deal with that woman at the benefit last night? Is there something going on with you two?”

  Colin shrugged as they gathered bottles into a paper shopping bag for recycling. “She’s hot and she’s cold. Who knows with women?”

  Hot and cold. Some women were like that. But some weren’t. Some were always hot. And he didn’t just mean physically. Some were always clear, always present, always giving. Some put their heart on the line every day, every night. Every second.

  Sophie.

  His Sophie.

  His loving, giving, supportive, beautiful, amazing Sophie.

  Who was leaving the country for more than a week come morning.

  He’d told her twenty-four hours ago that he had to see her that night no matter what. That he couldn’t stay away from her. And instead, he’d done the opposite. He’d stayed away from her. He’d told her he was fucked up again, and hell, he felt that way.

  But that wasn’t fair to her.

  Especially when she was always fair. Always open. Always honest.

  But him?

  He was the hot and cold one. He was scalding and freezing. As he carried the bag of bottles to his recycling bin in the garage, he muttered a string of curse words. He’d been sending her mixed messages. Telling her he had to see her, then telling her he couldn’t handle seeing her. Saying he desperately needed her, then not taking the time to properly say goodbye before she left the country for a trip.

  Fine, there was no rule that said they had to see each other every day.

  But this wasn’t about managing a lover’s travel schedule. This was about how he talked to her, how he cared for her, how he tended to her needs. She was so even keeled, so reliable, so fucking wonderful, and he’d taken advantage of that. He hadn’t been attentive to the woman he loved. Understandable, some might say, given the way his day had gone.

  But it wasn’t acceptable to him.

  Sophie had given him something he thought he’d never have. He had never trusted in love. He’d always believed love could be gunned down. Then she came into his life, and turned everything he believed about himself upside down.

  That was the real change in him.

  Not his mother’s confession, but Sophie’s love.

  Falling in love with Sophie Winston was the most magical, wonderful, intense experience of his life. When everything around him wobbled, Sophie was the constant.

  He shut the top of the recycling bin and glanced at his truck. His buzz had worn off. He needed to see her. To tell her she rocked his world, then tell her again and again and again. The only problem was, it was four-thirty in the morning, and he was pretty damn sure her flight left in a few hours.

  But so be it.

  He’d simply have to drive over there now, and see her before she got on that plane. Kiss her hard before she left. As he walked back into his house, his mind latched onto something she’d told him by his pool the other weekend.

  “The things I want from you don’t cost money.”

  He turned to Colin, dropped a hand on his shoulder, and said, “Little brother, I need a big favor.”

  He explained to Colin and his brother said yes. Then added, “Hell yes.”

  Because that was what family did for each other.

  He slid open his phone screen and dialed Sophie’s number. It went straight to voicemail. She might even be going through security right now. So he sent her a text.

  Then he saw she’d already sent him one.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  Sophie was late.

  Sophie was always late.

  Sophie was pissed at herself, too, for being so damn late.

  Rolling her suitcase behind her like it was a new Olympic event, she ran out of her building at four-thirty in the morning, her sandals flapping against the marble tiled lobby. The car had been waiting for her in the building driveway for fifteen minutes.

  “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she told the driver as she slid into the backseat, the night still cloaking the sky.

  “Nothing to apologize for, ma’am. I will get you to the airport on time,” he said, shutting the door.

  She turned on her phone, tapping her foot as she waited for it to boot up. She needed to send Ryan a note.

  Because she’d made a decision.

  She’d spent a restless night thinking about whether or not to reach out. She’d tossed and turned, debating whether to give him the space he seemed to need, or to reassure him of how she felt. But then she’d recalled her mother’s advice: “Always talk. Always be honest. Never go to bed angry. Make time for kisses and meals, dance under the stars, and dream together.”

  Though she was flying across the ocean, the advice about not going to bed angry still seemed to apply, as well as talking, being honest, and making time for each other. She wanted him to know she was here for him. The reality was, he had a more complicated life than she, and if that was what she was signing up for, he was worth it.

  Love was a choice, one that sometimes came with rampant uncertainty.

  She might never have stability with him. She might always experience moments, and even days, of pure unsteadiness. But what they shared was worth the risk, the anxiety, and the utter unpredictability of his family life. She’d confronted risk head on as a businesswoman, and surely she could weather the ups and downs in a relationship.

  For so long, she’d been seeking what her parents had, that perfect kind of love, with passion, support, and security. But she might not ever have security with Ryan Sloan, and she was going to have to buckle up and enjoy the highs and lows, the thrills and drops of loving that man.

  The second her phone warmed up, she tapped out a text. I’ll be thinking of you the whole time I’m gone, and I’ll be looking forward to our rollercoaster ride when I return. Every second of it. Love, always. Your Sophie.

  There. Done. Said.

  It was enough, and she was choosing to believe in the two of them rather than listen to her own fears.

  She was about to tuck her phone into her purse when she found a new message from him, just as the car pulled to the curb at Las Vegas International Airport.

  The time on her phone screamed at her. She was really late.

  Oh God.

  Nerves swamped her. She was dying to read his note, but she needed to get inside. Now.

  Jamming her phone into her purse, she raced to baggage check-in, then on to the TSA pre-screen, making it through security without having to slip off her shoes.

  Safely on the other side, she took out her phone.

  Opened the message.

  And burst into a wild, wicked, happy grin.

  I meant it when I said I can’t stay away from you.

&
nbsp; She spun around, hunting for him, half expecting to see him. He wasn’t there, of course. But that was okay. He’d sent this beautiful note. He’d reached out.

  These words were all she needed before she left the country—the reassurance that they were fine. After rushing to her gate, she showed her boarding pass to the agent and headed onto the plane, taking her seat in first class in the second row.

  From the cool and comfort of her cushy gray leather chair, she started a reply. She stopped typing when she spotted someone standing by her row. Her skin prickled with awareness, just like it had at Aria. Before she even confirmed with her eyes, her body knew.

  Her gaze roamed up the jeans, the trim waist, the pullover shirt, the day-old stubble, the soft lips, the nose, the navy blue eyes, the golden brown hair.

  The face of the man she adored. Her heart danced in mad circles, like a wild bird.

  “You’re here,” she said, stating the obvious.

  He gestured to the seat next to her. “This may be presumptuous of me, but is this seat taken?”

  She patted it. “Would you like this seat?”

  He looked at his watch. “For the next twelve hours, yes.”

  “It’s yours.”

  He sat down, and didn’t say a word. He placed a hand on her cheek, pulled her gently to him, and breathed her name as if it were his oxygen. “Sophie.”

  The way he said it sounded like a poem, like a love song. He swept his lips over hers. She shivered. She shuddered. She soared.

  “Hi,” he said when he broke the kiss.

  “Hi.” She was on cloud nine. She was floating high above the earth and she didn’t want to come down.

  “Do you want company for your trip?”

  “I want your company.”

  “Good, because I took the liberty to buy a ticket.”

  “I can tell. But is this really your seat?”

  “Mine’s one row up. When the person who has this seat shows, I’ll convince him or her to swap.” He looked her square in the eyes as he ran a finger over her cheek. “You once told me the things you want from me don’t cost money. Well, the ticket cost money, but that’s beside the point. The point is you told me that you wanted to go for a ride together in your new car. And I’d like to go with you.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “You’re joining me for the car?”

  He shook his head. “I’m here for the girl,” he said, his voice so sexy, so certain, so full of passion.

  Her eyes fluttered closed momentarily and happiness rushed through all the highways inside her body, infusing her heart and soul with joy. When she opened her eyes, she asked, “Are you taking off work for the whole time?”

  He nodded. “I told Michael to run the shop without me.”

  “Where’s your dog?”

  “Colin has him.”

  “When did you plan this?”

  He looked at his watch. “It’s six-thirty now, so, about two hours ago.”

  She shook her head in amazement. “And you bought a ticket, and took care of all that, and figured out what flight I was on in two hours?”

  “There was only one flight to Frankfurt at seven in the morning, so I took a chance. Oh, and don’t forget I showered, too,” he said with a grin.

  “I like when you take chances for me.”

  “I’ve spent eighteen years living with uncertainty. There are only a few things in my life that I know for sure right now. I love my brothers and my sister and my grandparents and my dog.” He stopped to take a beat and hold her gaze. “And I love you. I’m not going to sit around and wait and wonder and question it. I’m just going to feel it. I don’t want to stop taking chances with you, Sophie,” he said, brushing his lips to hers once more. He tasted so good. She wanted the kiss to turn into so much more.

  But not right here. Not as the flight attendants began their announcements.

  Pressing a hand to his chest, she asked, “So that’s it? You’re mine for the next week and a half? All mine in Europe? You, me, and my emerald-green Bugatti?”

  “Yeah,” he said with a casual shrug. “If you’ll have me for that long.”

  “I want you all to myself,” she said, dancing her fingers up his chest. “I’m greedy like that.”

  “Be greedy with me. I want your greed,” he said, then fingered a lock of her hair, turning more serious. “Sometimes I retreat when things get crazy, but I want to keep coming back to you. I know I’m just figuring this relationship stuff out, and I’m sure I’m not an easy man to be involved with, but I’ll do everything I can for you.” He kissed her cheek, murmuring her name. “Sophie Winston.” Then another time. Softer. Barely audible. “Sophie Sloan.”

  She wrenched back, and widened her eyes. “What did you just say?”

  * * *

  What had he just said?

  “Um…” he started. “Your name?”

  She shook her head and pointed to herself. “My name is Winston. Not Sloan.”

  He shrugged, trying to cover up his unexpected gaffe. “It was a slipup.” Then he thought, Fuck it. He was on a plane with her, headed to Europe. He might as well tell her the truth. “I was trying it on for size.”

  Her lips quirked up. “You were? How did it sound?”

  “Hot. Sexy. Perfect. Beautiful. Like you,” he said, keeping his gaze pinned on his gorgeous woman. “Did you like how it sounded?”

  Her eyes sparkled. “I think I did.”

  “Someday,” he said, threading his hands in her hair and pressing his forehead to hers. “Someday, I want to make you Sophie Sloan. Someday soon. Is that too much? Have I said too much?”

  “Oh God, Ryan. You’re crazy. You’re here on a plane with me, and I have never been happier in my life. All I’ve ever wanted is a love like this and you’re here. With me. Don’t you get it? You’re all my fantasies come true.”

  He kissed her nose. “Look what you’ve done to me. You’re everything I never knew I wanted, and now I can’t live without you. Hell, I couldn’t even let you leave the country without me.”

  Then, the flight attendant told them to fasten their seat belts.

  * * *

  The dress, the woman, the car.

  Any one of them would be amazing. Together, they were a triumvirate of beauty.

  He snapped a photo because he wanted to look at this image again and again—Sophie Winston wearing a sapphire-blue pin-up dress and fire-engine red lips as she stretched out her lush body on the shining, emerald-green hood of her sleek, stylish, million-dollar car. They were parked on the side of a road somewhere outside of Rüsselsheim. Trees canopied them from the hillside.

  “You like how she drives?”

  “I love how she drives,” he said, putting his phone away and wedging himself between her legs. “I love everything about her.”

  “And me, too?” she asked with a wink.

  “Yes, you too,” he said, laughing. “Now let’s put this vehicle to the true test.”

  It would the first time in her Bugatti, but he was certain it wouldn’t be the last. That it would be the start of a countless number of times.

  He tugged her up off the hood, and they slid inside the car. God, this car should be classified a sacred space. Everything from the leather seats to the gleaming dashboard to the gorgeous hum of the engine was a dream. But better, because it was real. Sitting in the passenger seat, he lowered it with her in his lap, and kissed the hell out of her, sealing his mouth to hers. She ran her hands through his hair, and sighed sexily as he kissed her harder. Soon, they were swallowing each other’s moans and groans, and she was rocking her hips into him.

  He broke the kiss, hiked up her skirt, and tugged her panties to the side, giving him access.

  “Take me, Ryan,” she whispered.

  He unzipped his jeans, pinned her wrists behind her back, and gave her what she wanted.

  It was what he wanted, too. Her. And him. Together.

  Like this.

  Like bliss.

  Like eve
rlasting love.

  Later that evening, they’d be together in other ways. Eating dinner at a cafe. Making love in their hotel after the lights fell in the town and only stars winked in the sky. Then the next day, too, cruising along the autobahn in a sleek new car, living life to the fullest, loving without limits.

  Epilogue

  Johnny Cash bounded over to him, barreling across Colin’s front lawn and into Ryan’s outstretched arms on the sidewalk. “Hey, buddy,” he said, kneeling down to say hi to his pooch at last.

  The Border Collie licked Ryan’s face, and whimpered happily as he thumped his tail. Ryan wrapped his arms around the dog’s furry neck. He hadn’t seen Johnny Cash in more than a week, and even though the time with Sophie had been the best days of his life, he did miss his canine friend.

  Colin walked down the steps from his house and joined them on the sidewalk. “Looks like someone missed you,” Colin said.

  Ryan stood up and gave his brother a quick hug. “Thanks for watching him. I really appreciate it.”

  “He’s easy. Welcome back. How was it?”

  Ryan briefly considered the question. He could answer it with patent honesty and say out of this world, amazing, incredible, fantastic, or a dream come true. Instead, he answered with another truth. “I’m going to ask her to marry me next week.”

  Colin’s dark eyes lit up and his mouth fell open. “Holy shit. Guess you had a great time.” He extended a hand and then clapped Ryan on the back.

  “Yeah, we did,” he said, still grinning over what he had planned for Sophie.

  “Congratulations in advance. Couldn’t be happier for you. It all happened so quickly.”

  Ryan nodded. “It did. The whole thing happened so damn fast. But I guess when you’re certain of something, you have to go for it.”

  Colin knocked fists with him. “Couldn’t agree more. How did you decide?”

  As he pet a happy Johnny Cash, he told Colin the story of how he’d said her name on the plane, illustrating with his hand over his mouth, as if words were spilling out of their own volition.

  His brother cracked up. “Awesome. So you just let it slip on the plane that you wanted her to be Mrs. Sloan?”