by Ambria Davis
He looked confused as he tried to connect the dots, but he couldn’t. “Next time, do some research before you go sticking your dick somewhere,” I said and stormed out of the room.
I knew I sounded bitter, but I was young when my mother put my father out. We were forced to cut all ties with him and that had hurt me dearly, because I was a daddy’s girl. I needed my father for any- and everything. No matter what reason it was, he came running. That all ended when my mother found out about my father’s illegitimate child. She threw him out, and we didn’t see him again until three years later. By then, I was hell-bent on finding that child, and I wanted to cause her the same kind of hurt and pain she had caused me.
At first, things were going smooth. I had succeeded. That was, until she met Kaylin. Dude was like her God. Whenever she was feeling down or hurt, he was there to take away all of her pain. He gave her any- and everything that she wanted and moved her up out of the hood. That’s when I hatched a plan to go after him. I was more than sure that if I fucked him, she’d be heartbroken and she’d feel how I felt when I lost my father. So, I fucked him and, boy, was his dick good. When she found out she was indeed heartbroken and she left him, but a few months later, she ended up taking him back. I was fucked up because that wasn’t supposed to happen, but it did, and I was now feeling some type of way, because I had fallen in love with him and the lifestyle that he had given me. So I said fuck the plan. I was going after the man, but here I was years later, and I still didn’t have him.
As I sat there thinking about all of the things that I’d been through and what I’d put Mimi through, I couldn’t help but to break down. She was dead, and yet I still couldn’t have Kaylin. I did everything in my power to break them up, and he still didn’t want me. I realized that it didn’t matter what I did. If he didn’t want me, I couldn’t make it happen. It took me a while, but I finally got the hint. Now I was stuck here thinking about what I was supposed to do next.
Chapter 19
Jade
Before I came down here, my plans were simple. I was going to follow Mimi and her little crew to see if I could get any information about Kaylin and find him, but it looks like Miss Mimi had a few other things on her plate right now. I wanted to feel sorry for the bitch, but honestly, I didn’t. The ho deserved everything that was coming to her. What she didn’t get, I’d be sure to bring to her ass. I was going to make that bitch wish like hell that she had stayed dead.
I sat farther back in the corner of the hospital, peeping shit out. I made sure that no one could see me, but I could see everything. I wasn’t trying to blow my cover just yet. I wanted to get what I wanted first, and then I’d shake shit up. I didn’t want them to know that I was on to them. I wanted them to believe that I wasn’t a problem, they didn’t have to worry about me. I wanted me to be the last person on their minds so that when I decided to strike, they wouldn’t see me coming.
“I hope they hurry the fuck up,” I said to myself. I was hungry, thirsty, and I was beginning to get tired. I hadn’t slept in days. I was so busy trying to find Kaylin’s ass that I didn’t take care of myself. I hadn’t eaten in days, and I was losing a lot of weight. That stressing shit was not for me.
Thinking about Kaylin, I remembered that I had the papers and deeds to all of the properties that he had owned down here. I needed Mimi and them to finish over here so that I could go ahead and check on them. I was willing to bet my last dollar that the nigga was hiding in one of those spots and I was going to find him one way or another. I wasn’t leaving New Orleans until I found his ass, and he was going to come back with me, either by choice or by force. Yeah, I knew that sounded a little crazy, but he made me that way. He should’ve known better than to fuck with me, because I wasn’t the type of girl to let go easily. When I saw something that I wanted, I got it, no matter what I had to go through to get it.
“Bitch, you know damn well that man doesn’t want you,” I heard a voice say. I looked around, trying to find the person who had said it, but there was no one there.
“Yeah, I know you hear me talking to you. Kaylin never did want you. You was always just a piece of ass to him,” the voice said again.
I looked around again, trying to see who said the shit, but there was no one sitting around me. The only people sitting in the waiting room were Troy, Mimi, their bodyguards, and me. I knew for sure that none of them had said it, because they didn’t even know that I was there to begin with.
“You can keep looking around all you want. You’ll never find me in here.”
“I don’t know who the fuck you are, but you better go ahead, if you know what’s best for you,” I replied.
“Child, you and I both know you ain’t ’bout that life,” she said, laughing an evil laugh that sent chills down my spine. It took me a minute to figure it out, but I realized that the voice was actually coming from inside of my head.
“Leave me alone!” I said, talking to myself.
“Nah, somebody needs to talk some sense into you. You need to leave that man alone.”
“I’m not doing a damn thing, so you might as well just shut the fuck up!” I yelled a little too loud. I was starting to draw unwanted attention to myself.
“See? I told you before that you were a crazy bitch. Now other people will see too,” the voice said, taunting me.
I got up so that I could walk outside and catch some fresh air when I bumped into somebody.
“Excuse me,” he said.
I knew that voice. “That’s okay,” I replied, never lifting my head up. I moved to the side so he could pass. When he did, I hurried toward the exit. The moment I stepped foot outside, I released the breath that I didn’t even know I was holding in.
“You got to get it together. You came too far to get caught now,” I said to myself. I pulled my phone out and logged into the Where’s My Phone app, trying to see if Kaylin had turned his phone back on, but again I came up with nothing.
“Fuck this shit,” I said as I made my way toward my car.
“You know if you don’t leave that man alone, you’re going to get us killed,” the voice said this time.
“Ain’t nobody gon’ kill us, so shut the fuck up,” I said, just as I reached my car. When I got inside, I went straight for my purse. I had a bottle of pills that I usually took, but lately I hadn’t been taking them. I opened the top, removed two pills, and threw them in the back of my mouth. I pulled out the bottle of water that I had and washed them down. Five minutes later, I started to feel mellow.
Since I parked a few cars down from the one that Mimi and them were riding in, I decided to wait for them out here. That way, it would be much safer, and I didn’t have to worry about the possibility of them spotting me, because I had dark tint. I laid the seat back and prepared to wait. Lord knows that I hated to wait. I just hoped I wouldn’t be waiting too long.
Chapter 20
Mimi
I sat there for hours, waiting to see what the doctor would say about Kailay. It had taken so long that I actually thought things were going wrong in that operating room. He said that it wasn’t supposed to take long, but it did. Lord knows I wasn’t good with waiting at all, so the minute Dr. Dallas came from the back and called out to us, I practically ran to him. I waited on pins and needles to hear what he had to say, wishing in my mind that it was all good news. When he came out and told me that Kailay’s surgery was a success, I was ecstatic. Even though he said that no one could stay in the room with her, I wanted to jump for joy. I was even happier when he said that she was expected to make a full recovery. That moment was short-lived when reality hit me. I was sitting in the hospital for one of my daughters, my other daughter was currently with her grandmother, and my boys were still missing. Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about them. Their birthday was coming up in a couple of months, and I wanted so badly to have them with me.
“Hey, girl, are you okay?” Troy asked, pulling me to the side.
“Yes. Well, no. I’m glad that Ka
ilay’s going to be around, but I will never feel comfortable until I have all of my kids back together. I miss my boys so, so much and my world will not be complete until I have them. To be honest with you, I don’t care if I never get to seek revenge against Kaylin, Stacy, and my father. As long as I’m able to get my boys back, I’m fine with that. I just want my boys home, that’s all,” I said as the tears began to roll down my face.
“It’s going to be okay. We’ll get them back. I’ll make sure of it. If that’s the last thing I do, we’ll get them back,” she said as she wrapped her arms around me. “Come on, let’s get out of here. You need some rest. We all do. We’ll be back to check on Kailay tomorrow.”
“Okay, but before we do that, I want to go ahead and check on my mother. I think it’s about time that we put our past behind us,” I said. She looked at me as if I were crazy. Hell, I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my own mouth either.
“Okay,” she replied as we went to get Jayden and Mark from the waiting room.
“Oh, and, Troy, I don’t know what’s going on between you and Weedy, but I can definitely tell you that y’all need to talk,” I said, stopping her.
“What you mean?” she asked, all confused.
“I mean that I think Weedy still wants you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because when we went to see what was going on earlier, I noticed he give Mark this strange look. So I think you need to check on it before the shit turns into some drama, and you know damn well we don’t need that,” I said, walking off as I called out to Jayden so we could leave. When I looked back, she was still standing there. “Why you just standing there? Come on. Let’s go.”
It took her a couple of seconds to move, but she finally began to walk our way.
“Is something wrong?” Mark asked her.
“No, nothing is wrong,” she said, wrapping her arms around him. Then we headed toward the exit.
Before I left, I made sure to give every nurse by the station my phone number. I wanted to make sure that they could reach me, in case they needed me for Kailay. After being reassured that they’d call, we left the hospital, making our way to my mother’s house.
I wasn’t too sure about what I was about to do. Hell, I even wanted to change my mind, but I knew that I couldn’t leave her hanging. I mean, after all of the things that she had put me through, she’s still my mother. Besides, I forgave her a long time ago. It was time that I started acting like it.
* * *
An Hour Later
We rolled through our old neighborhood feeling like outsiders. Everything was the same, and yet it was so different. We pulled up to my mother’s building. It was now dark, and I wanted to be extra careful, so I invited Jayden and Mark to go up with us. It wasn’t that I was scared of anything or anyone; I just didn’t have the strength to protect myself if anybody did try something.
“Come on, let’s go before I change my mind,” I said, getting out of the car.
I walked over to the sidewalk and waited for them. Once everyone was ready, I started walking to where my mother lived. As soon as I made it to the building, I picked up my stroll. I had to cover my nose and mouth, because the smell was so damn rank and strong that I thought I was going to pass out. I was walking so fast that someone would’ve thought someone was behind me or that I was on drugs or something.
When I walked up to my mother’s apartment, the door was cracked open, so I just walked right on in. As always, the living room was a damn mess. I was afraid to even walk up in there. I found a few needles and empty liquor bottles. I couldn’t do anything but shake my head. “Some things will never change, I guess,” I said to myself.
As I slowly made my way around the apartment, I thought that I was going to throw up. Besides needles and bottles, there were old newspapers, dirty clothes, and rat shit all over.
“Watch your step,” Troy called out from behind me as I was about to step in a huge puddle of vomit.
“She needs to do better than this shit,” I said, walking past it. I then made my way to my old room. I didn’t know why I was even trying to go in there, being that I hadn’t been there since the day that I was raped. When I opened the room, I was shocked to see that it was clean. My old bed was in there, and it was made. I walked farther into the room to see that the carpet was removed, and there were ceramic tiles in its place. The holes and dirt stains that were on the walls were no long there. Instead, a nice pink color adorned them. When I walked over to the closet, I gasped. All of my clothes from when I was a teenager were hanging neatly on hangers.
“Oh, my God,” I said as tears welled up in my eyes. “She kept it. I can’t believe that she kept it,” I cried when I noticed the cover and sheets from when Gorilla Zoe had raped me. “Why would she keep this?” I asked.
“It’s going to be all right. I’m sure there’s a perfect excuse why she did that,” Troy said, standing next to me. I turned to her, laying my head on her shoulder. She then wrapped her arms around me and tried her best to comfort me.
“I can’t believe that she would keep it though,” I cried in her arms. I wanted so badly to forget the memories as I stood in this room, but looking at those things, they came flooding back.
“Why did she let him do that to me?” I asked her.
“I really don’t know, but come on. Let’s get up out of here,” she said, making her way to the door. I looked up to find Jayden and Mark standing there confused. I guessed they were wondering what the hell was going on. I wanted to tell them, but the thought of anyone else knowing what happened to me was too painful. Besides, I didn’t need anyone judging me.
When we walked back into the living room, I took a minute to calm myself down. I didn’t want to get my nerves all worked up and shit.
“Come on, let’s go,” she said, trying to get me to leave.
“No, I have to find my mother and get her some help. Did you even look at this place? I need to get her up out of here,” I said stopping her. I was determined to put everything aside so that I could help her get her life together.
“I know that you want to help your mother, but do you think that will be a great idea? I mean look what just happened to you,” she responded, which caused me to think about what I was about to get myself into. To be honest, I wanted to turn around and just forget about the shit, but something inside of me told me not to.
“I have to do this. I need to,” I said, looking at her with pleading eyes.
“You know what? If that’s what you want to do, then that’s fine. I’m always here to back you up.”
“Good,” I said, flashing a small smile. I turned around and began walking toward my mother’s room. I knew that she was in there, because there wasn’t anywhere else she could possibly be.
With each step that I took toward the room, I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I wanted to turn around, but the voice kept on telling me not to. I kept saying that I didn’t have to be like my mother, that I should help her and put the past behind me, so I kept going. When I made it to the door, I slowly raised my hand up, placed it on the knob, and I turned it. I opened the door to find my mother passed out on her bed, with some guy lying next to her. I couldn’t believe that she still had this same routine going. I knew she had to be tired of doing this her-damn-self.
I walked over to the bed and kicked it, trying the wake them up. She didn’t pop up; however, the dude she was with did, and it looked like he was surprised to see me standing there.
“Who are you and what are you doing in here?” he asked, struggling to get up.
“Who am I? Who the hell are you?” I asked him.
“Look, bitch, what the fuck are you doing in here?” he asked, with a groggy look. I took one good look at him and knew that he was on drugs.
“I’ma ask you to watch your mouth when you’re talking to me,” I said, pointing my finger in his face. “Now I’ma need you to get your fucking shit and get the fuck out!”
“I do
n’t have to do a fucking thi—” he started to say but was stopped when he saw Mark and Jayden standing by the door. He got up from the bed, grabbed his clothes and shoes, and left, without even putting them on. I waited until I heard the front door opening and closing before I walked around the bed to the side where my mother lay.
I bent down and started pulling the covers back when I noticed that she barely had any clothes on. I turned to find Jayden, Mark, and Troy standing in the doorway.
“Umm, guys, I’m going to need a little privacy here,” I said to them. They shook their heads and turned around to leave. “Not you, Troy. I think I’m going to need your help with this.”
“Oh, okay,” she said, turning around.
“Close the door,” I called out to her. She did as I asked and then walked over to where I was.
“What’s wrong?”
I pulled the cover back so that she could see. “I need you to help me put some clothes on her.”
“Why hasn’t she woken up yet?” she asked as she walked over to the dresser, and grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt out of it.
“She’s probably drunk like always,” I said, with a wave of my hand. She walked back over and handed me the clothes. I then bent down and started turning her over, when I noticed that she had a belt tied to her arm. Removing the belt, I then noticed a needle lying next to her. Pissed, I started to shake her so that she would wake up, but she didn’t.
“Oh, my God, she’s not moving!” Troy screamed, panicking. I stood there in a daze. I couldn’t believe that something like this was happening right now. I mean I was already having a hell of a time with Kailay. I didn’t need this shit on my plate right now.
“Mimi, we have to call 911,” Troy screamed, but I stood there in a state of shock. It didn’t register to me to call for help. Why do these bad things keep happening to me? I thought, wishing that I knew the answer.