No Rules

by McCormick, Jenna

  “It’s more than that. Gwella has had to sacrifice for her people, put her life on hold, and her relationship with her daughter has suffered. Dani is her heir, but from what I can tell they barely speak,” Alison commented as she ladled out two bowls of the vegetable stew.

  Fenton poured them each a cup of water from yet another bucket. “They don’t agree on what’s best for the inhabitants of Daton Five. It’s just politics.”

  “Not to Gwella. She thinks it’s personal, that Dani has something against her breeder.”

  Fenton shuddered. “Please don’t use that term. It’s so . . .”

  “Sexist? Derogatory?” Alison raised an eyebrow. “Is it really any worse than whore?”

  He loomed over her chair, using his height to his advantage. “I thought we settled that last night.”

  “Is anything ever really settled with us?” She lifted her chin, unyielding in her position. “Between us then, no demeaning labels. But we have to play our roles here as best we can.”

  “Agreed.” He caressed her smooth cheek, his heart thundering at her nearness. Cradling her wrists he stroked her pulse with his thumb, delighting as it sped under his touch.

  “The soup will be cold,” she whispered.

  “To hell with the soup.” He’d wanted to kiss her since he walked through the door. Pressing her back against the wall he feathered his lips lightly over hers, gentling his baser urges that wanted to tear her clothes off and rut like a wild thing with her on the cold stone floor.

  Her mouth molded to his, a sweet seal of lush softness and warmth more welcoming than any he’d ever known. His hands went to her hips, hers into his hair. They clung to each other as though it was the most natural thing in the universe.

  Just when he was ready to lay her down on the pillows, she pulled away, her breathing ragged. Figuring she’d come up for air, he reached for her again, but this time her hands went to his chest and she shook her head. “We shouldn’t.”

  He frowned. “Because of your cycle?”

  “It isn’t that. Every time we sleep together it muddies the waters. We end up confused and disoriented. I want you to trust me, and you won’t if you think I’m manipulating you with sex.”

  Her words stunned him. He opened his mouth to protest, but snapped it shut again when he realized he didn’t know what to say.

  “See?” Though her tone was light, he could tell his lack of faith in her upset her. Turning back to the stove she retrieved the bowls. “Let’s eat.”

  He caught her wrist when she set the bowl down in front of him. “Alison, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” But it wasn’t, not really. Her smile was wan. “I don’t have any expectations here, Del, okay? I can take care of myself, so don’t feel guilty for doing what you have to do.”

  She tugged her arm back and he let her go, swamped with regret. Her argument made sense, but damn it all, he wanted her.

  But not if it meant hurting her.

  He frowned as he thought over what she’d said. “Have you ever manipulated me with sex?” he asked when she sat across from him.

  Her cheeks turned pink. “Um, yeah.”

  “When?” He took up the hollowed-out utensil that passed for a spoon and brought some soup to his lips.

  Her flush deepened. “That first night. You were so standoffish and I really wanted to get under your skin so you’d take me with you. I would have given anything to get off Pental.”

  He thought about it. “Yes, but you never told me that. I took you because you knew about the phase split, not because you asked me to. So you didn’t succeed in manipulating me because I acted on my own.”

  She blinked, obviously stunned he saw it that way. “Okay. What about when I bought out the ship’s store in clothing?”

  He took more soup. “Again, my choice. I could have said no to you at any time. I didn’t want to. I wouldn’t consider that being easily manipulated.”

  Pushing her bowl aside, she folded her hands neatly on the table in front of her. “Are you saying I can’t manipulate you?”

  He thought about it as he scraped his bowl. “No. You could, if you employed the right tactics.”

  “Such as?” She waited patiently.

  He just looked at her. “If you believe I’ll tell you how to handle me, you don’t know me very well.”

  She licked her lips and his cock shot hard as her gaze seemed to bore through the table, to his lap. Her voice was husky when she purred, “I think I know exactly how to handle you, Del.”

  Sometimes he thought simply listening to her talk in that throaty tone could make him come.

  A soft coo came from behind him. Ari was awake. Alison rose but he patted the air. “I’ve got her.”

  “You’ve had her all day.”

  Was she really arguing with him about which one of them should tend his niece? It was difficult not to envision the future with her, the way they shared responsibility for Ari. “Finish your dinner. If you still want to take over, then go for it.”

  “I actually missed her today.” Alison said as he unfastened the straps of the carrier and changed her diaper. “Not the bodily functions or anything, but the weight of her. Her scent. Is that odd?”

  “No, I know what you mean. When Gili first put her in stasis it felt like there was a giant hole in my life.”

  “You never talk about your sister. Does Ari look like her?”

  He studied his niece, who grunted, obviously working on soiling her fresh diaper. The bright blue eyes with a mischievous twinkle, the swirl of wispy dark hair, the rosebud mouth. “Yeah, she does.”

  Alison’s hand rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. You must miss her.”

  Actually, he’d been feeling guilty that he hadn’t missed looking after Gili. The youngest of the three siblings, she’d been spoiled and wild. She’d had a hard life, working as a camp follower and her death had been tragic, but Fenton could admit to the truth. “I loved her but she was so selfish. She took mind-altering drugs and stupid chances. And she never really looked after Ari, not until the end when she put her in stasis. And even that was selfish, because she didn’t consult me.” A lump formed in his throat.

  Alison lifted the bundle from his arms. “You took care of her, didn’t you?”

  “From the minute she was born.” Stroking the baby’s cheek he lost himself in remembering. “It was like a second chance. I screwed up with Gili, lost her to her demons, but Ari . . . I’ve got to get it right with her.”

  “Hey, look at me.”

  He did and was shocked to see the fierceness in her eyes.

  “Your sister made her own choices. You aren’t responsible for what happened to her. Any more than you are for me, all right? I’m a grown-up and anyone who has ever tried to control me has wound up regretting it. Living is tough enough. Don’t take on guilt for things not in your control.”

  Alison had no idea if she’d actually gotten through to Fenton. He’d been quiet after her vehement speech, finishing what was left of the soup and disappearing into the bathroom. She hoped he was thinking about what she’d said, at least considering her words.

  As she bounced Ari on her knee, she mulled over the wisdom behind refusing sex with him. It wasn’t just about trust, though that was a weighty factor. She wanted to see if Del actually had feelings for her. Would he still want to be with her if she was no longer ready and willing whenever the mood struck him? He’d been correct the night before; he’d never treated her like a whore, but neither did he act as though they were really together. Alison had very few romantic relationships in her adult life. She didn’t trust tender feelings as they always seemed to lead people to make unwise decisions. Exhibit A, her parents and their goatfuck of a marriage.

  But if she was honest with herself, she’d already made dubious calls. The most obvious grunted as she soiled herself. Alison sighed, wishing she could take advantage of the whole matriarchal society and make Fenton wash all the diapers, but knowing she would do her sh
are as the non-warrior women of this community did.

  Ari gurgled happily and Alison found herself not minding the mess if the result of dealing with it was a happy baby. Once Ari was bundled up once more, Alison sat on the cushion nearest the fire and hummed a few bars of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Ari seemed to like it, cooing happily so she sang it twice more. It made her think of that first kiss she’d shared with Fenton on the bridge under the meteor shower. For others it was a romantic image, but for her the memory was tainted by her own cowardice and desperation.

  She’d chosen to become a pleasure companion because of the power she thought she would have over men. Had her body sculpted and contoured to perfection until she resembled a living, breathing Barbie doll, a walking fantasy. A fantasy any man could purchase for the right price.

  Being desired held only a fleeting power, though. Once her john came, he had no further use for her. She closed her eyes, troubled by the memory of that first early morning walk of shame, with a bigger bank account and a label that wouldn’t ever leave her. Whore. Someone who had sex for money. Many of the pleasure companions she knew reveled in the stigma, wore it like a badge. She’d imitated them, but deep down the truth lurked like a monster under the bed. She hadn’t spread her legs because she liked sex with a variety of partners. She did it because she wasn’t good at anything else and it was the only way she knew how to provide for herself.

  That fear made her do ugly things, and if she were honest, it was why she was on Daton Five with Fenton’s niece on her lap. Her choice to stay, to keep selling her body for money and security, had driven her up the corporate ladder. For a time the credits she’d earned had sated her need for security that no man could take away. Exactly where she wanted to be, or so she thought. She’d been relieved at first when she’d been promoted out of the field. Until she was brought into the loop about the imprisoned empaths the Illustra board used to manipulate their more powerful clients. By then she was in too deep with the company to walk away.

  But what if I had? The thought nagged her like an old fishwife. Could she have gotten out sooner, found something else to do, some other way to take care of herself? The what-if scenarios were driving her batshit crazy.

  “You have a lovely singing voice.” Del stood beside her, dressed in his fresh change of clothing and smelling scrumptiously of clean male skin.

  “She seems to like it.” She smiled down at Ari, whose lids drifted down.

  “You’re good with her.” He didn’t bother to hide his surprise.

  “I like children, always have. I just never wanted any of my own.”

  He crouched beside her and she could feel his gaze searching her face in that way he had. “May I ask why?”

  She shrugged as best she could with Ari in her arms. “Never wanted the responsibility.”

  “There’s more. I can see it in your face,” he stated. “You can tell me if you wish to unburden yourself.”

  “Did you ever want children?” She turned the question around on him.

  He shook his head. “I wouldn’t want anyone to have to endure the phase split. Better the ability dies with me.”

  “That’s the reason?” Alison scowled. “I don’t understand why you hate it so much.”

  His eyes seemed to glow, absorbing the firelight. “Are there not things you do not like about yourself? Things that others say they find attractive but you would be rid of if you could?”

  “Well . . .” She made a disgruntled sound and cast him a dark look. “You win.”

  He smiled but his expression sobered. “It isn’t a game. My ability has decimated my family and apparently this world as well. We are in danger because of it. No amount of additional pleasure or usefulness is worth that price.”

  She saw his point but refused to concede the argument. “It’s not about sexual gratification or the ability to be in two places at once, though I appreciate both. It’s a part of who you are, what makes you unique.”

  “You are wise tonight,” he murmured, his hand stroking her unbound hair.

  “I have my moments.” Closing her eyes she leaned into his touch. Everything about this man drew her like a moth to a flame, ever closer to her destruction. And what was more, she didn’t care.

  He drew away abruptly and stood. “I’m going out for a little while. Do you need anything before I depart?”

  “What?” Opening her eyes, she craned her neck to look up at him. “Did I do something wrong?”

  His features softened. “No, lovely. I just have to go.”

  The words were so sudden, so final. Fear compressed her lungs. “Are you coming back?”

  “Of course.” He gave her a puzzled look. “I’ll only be gone a few hours.”

  Don’t be clingy, Alison. Men hate that. You hate that. Closing her eyes again, she fought for composure. “Yeah, we’re fine. See you later.”

  He bent and kissed Ari’s forehead. “Be good, ladies.”

  “No strange men or kegs of beer. Got it.” The flippant words were hollow.

  It was probably just hormones making her antsy. That, combined with the precariousness of her situation here. Daton Five was one big disaster waiting to happen.

  Anyone would feel unsettled in her shoes.

  But as she tucked first Ari and then herself in for the night, she couldn’t help eyeballing the door, wondering what was so compelling that drew Fenton away from them for the night.

  Sleep eluded her. She tossed and turned, rose and paced the small confines of the room. This was what she’d wanted, right? Insight into whether or not Del would still want to be with her if not for the sex. Well, she was here and though he’d said some sweet things, he’d left quickly.

  Scowling at the fire, she thought over their conversation. He had departed suddenly, almost as though he had somewhere to be.

  Why didn’t he tell her where he was going? He couldn’t be out in this cold just walking all this time. It had been over an hour since he’d left. But where could he have gone at this time of night? The patrollers had eased their vigilant watch over them, thanks to her newfound relationship with Gwella, but he was limited to the enclosure, as the helcats prowled just beyond the structure.

  A shiver raced down her spine. What if he’d left for good, afraid she’d tell Gwella about his phase split? As soon as that idea occurred she dismissed it. Never in a million light-years would he leave Ari behind. And it wasn’t his style to sneak off into the night without a word of good-bye. Del Fenton might not be sentimental but he was honorable.

  They had food, clothing, shelter, and a decent place to hide. She doubted the assassin would look at this planet anytime soon, so it couldn’t be about him. What, then, would compel him to leave them alone at night?

  Sex.

  Whirling to face the door, her lips parted as she sucked in a pained breath. She’d refused his sexual advance, thinking they could spend time together with their clothes on. It had been nice last night when he’d just held her. But maybe he wanted more than to talk and snuggle. He was a man, after all, and men got stupid about their needs.

  He made her promise him exclusivity, but he had never vowed to be faithful in return. She’d said no, so he went looking elsewhere. It made sense, too much sense for her to ignore.

  Ari, oblivious to Alison’s turmoil, let out a soft sigh. Alison looked at the baby and her chest welled with resentment. How dare he stick her on babysitting duty when he went to tap some other woman’s well? If he expected to find her sitting here waiting for him to waltz in after getting his rocks off with some patroller tramp, he had another think coming!

  Bundling Ari back up, she opened the door, intending to head to Gwella’s cottage. The matriarch of this colony would understand. She’d ask for separate living quarters.

  With the baby strapped to her chest, Alison left the hut. She hadn’t counted on how dark it was with no firelight or stars overhead. She’d almost changed her mind when the sound of male voices carried across the night.
>
  “That alien breeder and Dani . . .” They moved out of hearing range.

  The only alien breeder she knew of was Del. She remembered Dani, Gwella’s warrior daughter. Could those two men have seen them together?

  Her drive for answers compelled her to follow them before she could think better of it.

  19

  The men of Daton Five trickled into the cavern slowly, a few at a time. He’d scoped out the training area earlier. The terrain was flat and a few stalactites jutted from the overhead ceiling, but otherwise it was a large, open space, perfect for practicing combat techniques. Scanning the gathering crowd, he waited for Dani to introduce him. The names and faces blurred together in the sea of eagerness.

  In his time on Hosta, Fenton had seen all sorts of men, all with different abilities both physically and mentally. It was his job to suss out the weaknesses, break them down so he could begin the laborious process of building them back up into soldiers. Many of the men he’d trained had resisted, but he’d always found a way to push them where he needed them to go.

  The men before him were both ready and willing to learn all he had to teach them. They led physically demanding lives, and all seemed to be fit physically. But the biggest advantage they had was that they were fighting for their loved ones. In his experience there wasn’t a more compelling reason to fight.

  Dani whistled shrilly, the sharp sound bouncing off the granite walls. As the only female in the room full of men, she stood a foot shorter than all, yet she easily commanded attention.

  “All right, boys. You all know why you are here.”

  “To learn to fight!” one shouted, and a chorus of cheers went up.

  Dani held up a hand, waiting for them to settle down. “Be aware that this is not an officially sanctioned endeavor. If the empress finds out, the consequences for insurrection will be severe. You must tell no one of this, not your lover, your mother, or your children. It is for their protection we are here, even if they cannot accept it. Might even punish us for it.”