Spring Semester

by Tyler, Q. B.

  “Stop,” I tell her.

  I reach for her wrist and turn it over, running my finger over the tattoo she has there. The one that matches the one I have on my ribcage. Hers said no matter where and mine said no matter what. My parents went through a nasty divorce my senior year of high school and the night my dad moved out, Leighton showed up at my house with a fifth of Bacardi and the idea to get matching tattoos.

  We shook on it…well, fucked on it, and the next morning we had permanent ink solidifying our friendship forever.

  I bring her wrist to my mouth and run my lips over the skin. “No matter where, no matter what,” I murmur and she gasps at the intimate touch.

  “I…I told you not to touch me,” she whispers, but I hear the conviction leaving her voice. She sounds fragile, scared, and not like my strong, brave girl. I hate myself for doing this to her. To her self-confidence. “I knew I’d crumble if you touched me.” Her eyes are glassy and I wonder if it’s out of sadness or because of the shots I’m assuming she had before I got here.

  “Because you know how I feel about you.” I lean down and press my forehead to hers. “Please…please forgive me. I want this…I want us.”

  Her lip trembles and I go for it, hoping she won’t stop me. I cup her face and slowly swipe my lips across hers. She sighs against my mouth like she’s been carrying the weight of the day around and she’s finally letting it go. “You can’t…you can’t do this to me again.”

  “Never. Fuck. Never.” I push her hard against the door and wedge my thigh between her legs knowing she loved to rub against me. “Can I take you home?” I ask her as I tug on her bun offering her neck up to me. I press my tongue to her pulse point and draw lazy circles with the tip.

  She swallows and I feel her nod against my lips. Fuck. She’s forgiving me. I pull back to look at her and give her the biggest smile.

  “You’re not off the hook, Cartwright.” She furrows her brows. “And you’re buying me pizza.”

  We make it back to her townhouse and despite the fact that she’s drunk and spent the entire ride home practically in my lap, I kept my hands mostly to myself. We picked up pizza on the way home, and we are barely through the front door before she’s biting into it. “Did you eat before you went out?”

  She winces and shakes her head as she kicks off her shoes. “No.”

  “You know I hate that shit.” I shoot her a glare and she shrugs sheepishly as she sits on her couch and puts her feet on her coffee table. I sit next to her and drape her legs over my lap to bring her closer to me. I pull her hair from the bun and the few bobby pins, letting her hair spill out over her shoulders. I press my lips to her bare skin and she leans into my touch.

  “I…I think we should take it slow.” Her lips speak but her body is saying something different entirely. Her legs are pressed together and her cheeks are growing pink under my gaze.

  “You’re saying this to the guy that literally rimmed you till you cried.”

  She scoffs and pushes me back. “I did not cry.”

  I chuckle. “I’m kidding, well not about the crying thing because you did. But we can take it as slow as you want, baby. Whatever you want,” I whisper. “I’m just…happy that you don’t hate me.”

  “I could never hate you,” she tells me.

  “You said it earlier…” I recall her words that have been ringing in my head since she spoke them.

  “I didn’t mean that.”

  I nod. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you did. I almost ruined everything.”

  She shakes her head and pulls her hair over to one side like she does when she’s nervous. “Let’s not talk about it.”

  I know Leighton well enough to know this isn’t over, but I also know she’s drunk and my time with her before she’s ready to pass out is numbered.

  “Just promise me something?”

  “Mmmhm?” She leans her head on my shoulder and I press my lips to her forehead.

  “Don’t push me away in the morning.”

  The feeling of someone moving pulls me out of my sleep, and I see Leighton pulling her hair up into a ponytail. I’d carried her up the stairs to bed last night and managed to get her undressed and in some sweatpants and a t-shirt—both of which belong to me—before I succumbed to sleep beside her. I had contemplated waking her up to fuck her senseless, but I wanted her to be sober and more importantly sentient before we opened that door again.

  “Hey.” I stretch my hands up towards the head of her bed and sit up slightly. “It’s early, come back to bed.”

  She narrows her gaze at me. “I think you should leave.”

  “What?”

  She shakes her head and leans against her desk. “This didn’t make everything better, Everett. You preying on me while I’m drunk and vulnerable doesn’t mean everything’s okay. I was pretty wasted by the time you saw me, and I let your sweet words and touches convince me that I was over it. I’m not, Everett.”

  I sit up further. “Baby…”

  “No,” she grits out. “I know you were drunk, and maybe you really don’t remember. But that doesn’t excuse anything, Everett. That doesn’t make everything just automatically forgivable.”

  “I know. I’m not trying to use it as an excuse, I just…”

  “I know. You love me.” She says as if to say, “so you’ve said before.”

  “Yes.” I nod. “It took us how long to get here? I just…can’t we start over?”

  “Start over? Where, fourth grade? Trust me if you were any other guy in the world, I wouldn’t even be giving you a second thought. Our history is the only thing in your favor right now.”

  “Well, that should mean something, right? You know me, you know this isn’t me. I don’t cheat…” I pause because I have cheated on more than one occasion and on different girls. “I would never cheat on you.”

  “You did.” Fuck. “Maybe you didn’t fuck her, but something happened in that bed and it’s not fair for you to think I should just get over it like that.” She snaps. “Just because you were drunk and don’t remember. I have to hold you accountable for your actions, Everett.”

  This is it.

  This is the end of eleven years of friendship. I ruined eleven years in one stupid drunken night I have no recollection of.

  “Leigh…”

  “I’m not saying this is the end. I just asked for space and you bulldozed over me and touched me and kissed me and brought me home and…I need to think.”

  My palms begin to sweat, and my throat feels drier than a summer day in Phoenix. “Think about what? Me? What’s there to think about? If you can forgive me?”

  “I’ve forgiven you, Everett. It’s not about that.” She shakes her head and holds her wrist up to reveal her half of our tattoo. “This means I’ll always forgive you.” I’m off the bed and moving across the room towards her but she puts her hands up which stops me in my tracks. “But that doesn’t mean I think we should be together. It doesn’t mean that I trust you enough to give you my heart.”

  “Leigh, I’ve had your heart, for longer than we both realize.”

  She swallows and twists her lips into a frown that makes me feel like my world is crashing down around me. “It kinda feels like you gave it back.”

  You did this.

  You asked for space.

  You told him not to contact you.

  I didn’t expect him to listen! My mind argues as I walk across campus towards my eleven-thirty class. Usually Everett walks with me since our classes are in adjacent buildings, but now, as I scan the quad for him, I don’t see him anywhere.

  Is he skipping?

  My fingers itch to text him to ask him if he’s going to class when I spot him on the other side of the quad. He’s walking pretty much in line with me but at least fifty yards away. His hood is pulled up, but I can tell by his walk, by his stature, everything screams the man I’ve loved since I was nine years old. He’s by himself, and I resist the urge to cut across the grassy field between us so w
e can walk together, but I ignore the impulse and continue walking on my side. I cast another glance at him and I can tell he’s looking right at me. I can feel my heart in my throat before I turn my head forward and continue my trek. The wind whips around me and I pull my jacket tighter around me as I make my way up the steps of the gray brick finance building. I turn my head one final time and watch as he enters the building without a glance in my direction.

  I turn my key in the lock to my townhouse, and I’m met with a bare-naked ass as soon as I step into the living room. “Oh, for the love of God!” I shriek just as I watch Skyler’s ex-professor plow into her. “Do I need to see this right now?” I put my hand over my eyes.

  Do I care that I just walked in on my roommate and her boyfriend fucking? No, not really. Am I annoyed that I had to witness someone having sex when I’m currently going through ‘sex with Everett’ withdrawals?

  Yep.

  “Oh fuck!” Skyler shrieks as Aidan scrambles off of her.

  “Don’t you have an apartment of your own to do this at? One without roommates?” I look at her much older boyfriend before shutting my eyes. Aidan now teaches at Brookfield School of Law on the other side of town, which could be at least a forty minute drive at this hour with traffic, which means he must not have class today.

  “Shit, why aren’t you in class!” I hear her shriek. I open my eyes just as they both pull their clothes on.

  “I’m skipping, and spare me the lecture, Professor.” I nod at Aidan. “By the way, nice ass.” I raise an eyebrow at him and watch as the pink floods his cheeks under his stubble. I trudge out of the room towards the kitchen to hear Skyler right behind me.

  “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting you home and… I have office hours at four. Aidan just surprised me…shit. Should I tell him to go?”

  “No, Sky, it’s fine. I don’t care.” I wave at her. “It’s your house too, and your couch if we are getting technical.” Skyler comes from money, quite frankly a ton of money, which is why our townhouse is furnished with the swankiest shit and not a thing from Ikea. I swear the Mitchells have stock in West Elm.

  “I know, but I…I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” she whispers.

  “About seeing your boyfriend’s ass? Sky, I’ll live.”

  “Okay, I’ll leave like a sock or something on the door next time.” She giggles, and just like that she’s made me feel a fraction better. Skyler has a good heart and the cheeriest disposition all. the. time. It would be irritating as fuck if she wasn’t such a goddamn sweetheart. She’s been my rock the past week and has basically told Aidan to stay away to be at my beck and call. Hell, I didn’t blame her for trying to squeeze in a quickie. And I certainly didn’t blame Aidan for showing up and attempting to take his girlfriend back from her needy roommate. Aidan worships that girl like he doesn’t have any sense.

  Sound familiar? My heart thumps.

  “That’d be great.” I give her a thumbs up.

  “What’s up with you ditching anyway?” She hops up on the counter and begins to swing her feet as I make myself a sandwich.

  “I couldn’t focus and today’s class was optional,” I tell her.

  She cocks her head to the side and gives me a look that makes me want to cry. I can’t handle Skyler’s pity. Even if she wouldn’t call it pity, I know she feels what I’m going through. “Did…did you see Everett?”

  “Walking to Financial Analysis, yeah.” I lean over the counter and rest my head on my forearms.

  “Did he see you?”

  “I think so,” I say without looking up.

  “Have you guys still not talked?”

  “Nope.”

  I sense movement in my peripheral vision and when I look up, Aidan is moving into the kitchen, the guilt over intruding written all over his face. “I’m sorry to interrupt. Baby, I have to go.”

  “Wait, now?” Her eyes widen as she hops off the counter and scurries across the room into his arms so fast it’s like there’s a magnetic pull between them.

  “Yeah, I have a lecture at six.” He leans down and rubs his nose against hers, and she frowns slightly.

  “Wait…” She looks at me, and I put my hands up before I slip out of the room to give them some privacy. I hang outside of the kitchen because, evidently, I’m a glutton for punishment and I want to torment myself by witnessing how perfect Aidan and Skyler really are.

  “I miss you,” she tells him and I hear the sound of a slow kiss. “And we didn’t finish.” I frown as I suddenly feel like the worst roommate for cockblocking my girl from an orgasm.

  “I know, I miss you too. My bed is fucking lonely without you. But your friend needs you. And I get that.” The words go straight to my heart; Aidan really is a gem.

  “But I need you. Will you come back later?”

  “If I’m going to get lucky, maybe.” She must give him a look because he chuckles. “I’m kidding. Of course, I’ve missed sharing a bed with you.”

  “I’ve missed waking up with your mouth between my legs.”

  Aaaaand that’s my cue. I move up the stairs two at a time as quietly as I can, to not alert them that I was spying. When I open my door, my mouth drops open when I see what’s on my bed. I swallow as I take in the bouquet of white roses and bring them slowly to my nose.

  “He dropped them by a little before you got home.” I hear Skyler’s voice behind me and I turn around to see her giving me a sad smile. “He didn’t look good, Leigh.”

  “Worse than me?”

  “Way worse.”

  I wonder if she’s just saying that because I didn’t know it was possible that anyone could look worse than me right now. My hair looks like I haven’t run a brush through it in days. I’m barely wearing makeup, and I’m on day three of wearing the same pair of leggings.

  “I miss him. Does that make me pathetic?” I hate the way my voice sounds. I hate not being sure of myself. I hate everything about this.

  “No!” She rushes through the room and engulfs me in a hug. She’s at least three inches shorter than me, making it so her head rested right under my chin. She pulls back and looks up at me. “I would never call you pathetic. This whole thing with Everett is so…gray.”

  I shoot her a look. “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes, babe, it is. Do I think the situation sucks? Yes. Do I think he’s in the wrong? Also, yes. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get in that situation. I completely cosign that. But…were you guys technically together? He was still with Alli, if you want to be real.”

  “Really?”

  “Leigh, Everett has proved that the only person his loyalty lies with is you. Who hasn’t done stupid shit when they’ve been fucked up?”

  “So, we’re just allowing it then? So, if he were Aidan, you’d forgive him?”

  She bites her bottom lip. “It’s different.”

  “How? Because I’ve known Everett eleven years and you’ve known Aidan eleven months?”

  She continues to chew her bottom lip, and I instantly feel like shit for talking to her like that. “Don’t take this shit out on me, Leigh. All I’m saying is it’s complicated. If it wasn’t you wouldn’t be hurting this much.” I look at the roses on my bed and run my finger over one of the petals. “Go see him, Leigh. Stop being so fucking stubborn. Or you can waste ten years and then one day he’ll confess his love for you just as you board a flight to Paris for a new job, and you’ll have to get off the plane because you realize you’ve been stupid this whole time and you love him too.” She blinks at me as a smile finds her lips.

  I blink my eyes several times at her. “Did you just compare us to Ross and Rachel from FRIENDS?”

  “Maybe.”

  “So, you agree they weren’t on a break then?” I raise an eyebrow at her. It’s a back and forth we have every time we watch that season. I believe they weren’t on a break, and Skyler, ever the law student, sees both sides—and sometimes sided with God awful Ross.

  “No, Rachel’s an asshole. I
mean to be fair, so are you. Look, you get what I’m saying!” She puts her hands on her hips. “Go talk to him.” I nod and let out a breath as I grab my keys and head towards the door when I hear Skyler say my name. “Uhhh, girl you may wanna shower first.”

  I’m freshly showered, shaved, exfoliated, and I feel like my old self again. My hair has its luster back, which is currently sporting loose waves that cascade down my back. I’m wearing a pair of clean leggings underneath a long v-neck sweater that shows more than a hint of cleavage under a leather jacket. I’ve put on makeup and perfume and jewelry but quite frankly I don’t know why I did all of this when I’m not even sure what I want.

  Because you were thinking with your freshly shaved vagina.

  I roll my eyes at my subconscious as I knock on his door later that night. I see the lights flickering in his living room making me believe they’re all home which unfortunately means, we’ll probably have an audience. I go to knock again when Pat and Dave answer the door together, and I resist the urge to make a sarcastic joke. My eyes flit back and forth between them as they step onto the porch and close the door behind them.

  “Uhh…what?” I ask wondering why they seem to be skeptical about letting me inside.

  “What’s up, Leigh?” Dave asks and I frown. Pat crosses his arms in front of his chest as he sizes me up. What is this good cop, bad cop routine?

  “Not much, is Everett here?”

  Dave and Pat exchange a look before Pat speaks up. “Why?”

  “Why what?” I ask.

  “Why are you here? Because quite frankly Everett can’t take much more, so if you’re here to yell at him or tell him he ain’t shit, then as much as I like you, you’re going to have to go.”

  I blink my eyes several times like I wasn’t just asked to leave. “Excuse me?”

  “Dave’s right. He’s…not doing well, and you coming over here looking like…that,” he waves his hand up and down my body, “will probably kill him when you tear his heart out again.”