by Bree Verity
“So, what’s the problem?” Desiree prodded gently.
Faith didn’t reply for a couple of moments, her worried gaze on Desiree. When Desiree smiled and dipped her head a little to encourage Faith to speak, she took a deep breath, and blurted out, “Mama said she’s going to try to get custody of us.”
Desiree’s eyebrows flew up. “Really?” She furiously thought about the custody cases she had seen during her time as a teacher. Time and again, the father was given the short shrift, when for some reason, the courts believed that a child was better off spending most of their time with one parent, and most of the time, that was the mother. She knew Jack would need all the support he could get to work through a custody battle, and her first instinct was to pick up her phone and call him.
But she didn’t. Instead, she said to Faith, “What do you think about that?”
“I… it sounds so mean, but I really don’t want to go and live with Mama.” Faith let out a shuddering breath, as if making the declaration had been a huge deal for her. “I mean, I love her and all that, but really, she was the one who left us behind, and it just doesn’t seem fair on Dad for her to do that.”
Desiree nodded. “Yes, but what about for you, Faith? What would be best for you?”
“I don’t know.” Faith shook her head, and then a small glint of a smile came to her face. “It was kind of nice when you were livin’ at our place.”
Desiree blinked suddenly, tongue tied by the unexpected turn in conversation.
“Daddy is really missin’ you, you know.”
“I figured he would be, but I didn’t want to hang around when your Mum was there. I thought she was moving in.” While it wasn’t strictly the truth, Desiree was comfortable with letting Faith think that was the reason she had left.
“Well, she’s not, so you should come back.” Faith smiled wryly. “It was really annoying to have to wait until I saw you here before I could talk to you.”
Desiree chuckled, but used the opportunity to address a concern she had about Faith. “So you don’t see me trying to take over your Mum’s place?”
“No. I reckon I’m pretty much resigned to Mama and Dad not gettin’ back together. And I want them both to be happy. And I figure, it’s you that makes Dad happy.”
Desiree swallowed back her sudden tears. “Thanks for that Faith. I really do appreciate it.”
“Yeah, well, come home soon, won’t you?” Faith hefted her schoolbag up on to her shoulder, a sure sign the conversation was coming to an end.
“I’ll do what I can.”
With a smile and a flick of her hair, Faith walked out of the room. Desiree watched her go, conscious of a little ache in her heart. She badly wanted to get back to her home at Jack’s place. But she had to let Jack make the move. She had to. It was just so important that he realised how much in the wrong he had been, and what he needed to do to fix it.
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly, and Desiree found herself seated at Greens with Maureen before she knew it. Cappuccino and cake were the order of the day, with both of them ordering a different type of cheesecake – Maureen’s was choc-orange, and Desiree’s blueberry.
“So,” started Maureen once they had settled in, “how have you been?”
“Not great,” admitted Desiree with a slightly pained smile. “But I’m dealing.”
“Honey, I am so sorry that you got caught up in the whole Jack and Susan thing.”
“Not half as sorry as I am.”
“And not half as sorry as Jack is. He’s in such a state.”
Desiree took a steadying sip of her cappuccino before replying. “I bet he is.”
“I don’t know how many times I told him to tell you.”
“Not enough, obviously.” Desiree heard the derision in her own voice and didn’t like it. She changed tone to something more conciliatory. After all, it wasn’t Maureen’s fault that Jack had acted like a dick. “You shouldn’t have to tell him, Maureen. He’s a grown man.”
Maureen sniffed. “I’m not sure they ever grow up. But I have to say, of all the boys I know, Jack is one of the best. And I’m not just sayin’ that because he’s my brother.”
Desiree put her cup down and looked Maureen squarely in the eye. “You don’t have to convince me about Jack, Maureen. But he has to acknowledge how much he hurt me.”
“I know, darlin’ and I think he’s gettin’ there. He’s just tryin’ to work out the words.”
“Well he’d better hurry the fuck up. I’m not going to hang around forever.”
“No?” Maureen chuckled suddenly, and Desiree looked at her sharply. What was so funny? Before she could ask, Maureen continued. “You two are hilarious, you know? With your hedgin’ around each other and worryin’ about what each other’s gonna do? You know what I think?” She leaned in toward Desiree as if she had a secret to tell. Desiree leaned in as well.
“What?”
“I think you probably would hang around forever. And I think he would do the same.”
As Maureen sat back, a satisfied look on her face, Desiree felt her throat burn, and she pushed back tears that sprang to her eyes. She didn’t know how to respond.
“He… I… “
“Don’t sweat it, sweetie. He’ll sort himself out, and real soon I think. Then he’ll come crawlin’ back to you, apologizin’ like there’s no tomorrow, and workin’ out ways to make it up to you that’ll have you wanting to crawl out of your skin. In a good way,” she finished with a wink.
Desiree colored and smiled. “Thanks, Maureen.” Impulsively, and completely against her carefully created character, Desiree leaned over to Maureen and kissed her on the cheek. Maureen’s eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Don’t know what that was for.”
“It’s because you’ve handed me a little hope. I’ve come so close to calling him, but I know if I do, it will only create a mess further down the track.”
“Don’t call him,” warned Maureen. “He’s had to fall a long way. Don’t make him cocky before he gets the chance to apologize.”
“I won’t. And you’ve just helped me to make up my mind to sit tight for a bit longer.”
Picking up her cup, Maureen smiled over the rim. “You’re welcome, honey. Now, we haven’t really had a chance to have a good gossip, have we? Let me tell you some things about Jackie. You won’t believe the little terror he used to be.”
CHAPTER THIRTY.
Jack checked his watch for the third time, and felt the sweat trickle down his back. It was winter in Perth, but the pale sunshine still streamed through the window at Stimulatte. But it wasn’t heat from the sun that was making him sweat. He was waiting for Desiree.
The weekend crowd at the sunny café created a pleasant murmur of conversation over and above the other noises of the traffic and birds in the trees. Jack hadn’t been to Stimulatte before, but when he had rung Desiree, she had suggested it. He had agreed with alacrity, happy to agree to almost anything to get to see her.
Now, he was here, and she was late.
The waiter brought a bottle of water and a single glass.
“There’ll be someone else,” Jack said, and the waiter gave him a tight smile.
He probably hears that all the time, and the guys just sit here by themselves and get more and more miserable as their dates don’t show up.
“Hello. Sorry I’m late, the traffic was awful and I couldn’t find a park.”
Jack stood up, drinking in the sight and scent of her. Desiree looked amazing – beautiful, yes, but also so much more assured than Jack felt.
As she took her seat and he sat back down, Jack picked up a single rose from the table and held it out to her. “This is for you.” When he bought the rose he thought it would be a lovely, romantic gesture, but now that she was sitting there, right in front of him, it seemed a bit trite and ridiculous, like he was trying to be the Bachelor or something. He felt heat suffuse his face.
Desiree smiled tightly. “Thank you, Jack,
it’s lovely.” She put the rose aside, and turned her amazing emerald eyes on him. The dark circles under her eyes and the paleness of her complexion concerned him. He hoped that he would be able to answer the question lurking in her beautiful green eyes.
He took her hand and took a deep breath, preparing to launch into his speech when the waiter bustled back up to the table, second glass in hand and said, “What can I get you?”
Jack flung a murderous look at the waiter, who returned his gaze placidly.
“I’ll have a cappuccino, please.” Desiree didn’t seem to notice their silent war.
“I’ll take a flat white coffee, thanks.”
The waiter nodded and walked away. Desiree lifted her head, and Jack was nearly undone by the sparkle of amusement in her eyes. So, she did notice.
“Maybe we could try that again?” Jack took Desiree’s hand again. “Okay, so first up, I want to apologize. For basically bein’ dumber than dirt.”
“Fair enough.” The upward inflection in her words made it clear she expected him to say more.
“I know I’ve damaged your trust in me, and I can never be sorry enough for doin’ that. Of all people, you’re the one I want to trust me the most.”
She nodded slightly, but waited for his next words.
“I’m fixin’ to rebuild that trust with you, Des. I promise.”
Her eyes fell to her lap, then lifted to his face. She was scowling. “Why didn’t you just tell me? You know, maybe like when I told you about Steve? That would’ve been the perfect time.” She was sarcastic, but Jack realised he deserved it.
“I know. I chickened out. And I chickened out a few other times as well. But you know why, right?”
“Why?” Her big eyes fixed on his face again.
“Because I never wanted to do anythin’ that might mean I could lose you.”
She smiled wryly. “So by doing nothing you lost me anyway.”
“I know. Ironic, right?” He was buoyed by her half-laugh. “I haven’t truly lost you, have I?” He heard the pleading in his own voice, but kept her gaze as he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a tender kiss on it.
“No, you haven’t lost me, but you have a hell of a lot of making up to do.” She gently pulled her hand away and gave him a firm smile, which didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Okay, so she wasn’t going to go easy on him.
The date was a rollercoaster of emotions as Desiree grilled Jack relentlessly about his marriage and how it failed. He answered as honestly as he could, understanding that any holding back on his behalf would be interpreted as choosing to keep Desiree in the dark - and he knew if she felt that, he would never overcome her objections.
As it was, Jack could see Desiree relaxing more and more as she delved deeper and deeper into his personal life. But when they spoke about his affairs, Jack was dismayed to find Desiree’s walls came crashing back down. He desperately tried to explain away the circumstances of each of them, knowing they didn’t place him in a good light, but trying to make Desiree understand what led to each of them and why he did it.
Desiree didn’t seem to be buying it.
“How can you sit there and tell me you won’t do it again?” Her eyes were flinty emerald, her face a mask of distrust.
“Because I’m different. I’ve changed.”
“Have you? Because what I’m hearing is that the last three times things got hard, your response was to find comfort in someone else’s arms.”
“Desiree.” He reached across the table and grabbed her hand again. She tried to pull it away, refusing to look him in the face, but he held on until she stopped tugging. “I won’t have any need to cheat. All I need is you.”
“You say that now, but what about when we disagree on something? Or I decide to do something you don’t approve of?” Her derisive tone bit deep.
“Our relationship is nothing like mine and Susan. We didn’t seem to be able to support each other, but you and I are different. I’m going into this one knowing exactly what I’m getting into.”
“Are you? Because right now, I’m not sure I know you at all.”
Jack stroked the back of her hand with one long finger. “Talk to me Desiree,” he said quietly. “What’s the problem? I don’t know why you’ve pulled away from me, and I desperately want to.”
He saw the shine of tears in her eyes, but her voice was hard. “You sound exactly like my Dad did, every time he came home after one of his escapades. He always told my mum what she had done to make it happen, and that it really didn’t mean anything, because he was married to her and loved her. And my mum took him back over and over again, until one day my brother was old enough to tell my Dad to fuck off and not come back. I don’t want to be a carbon copy of my mother, waiting around for a man who doesn’t love me. And I don’t want to be with a man who is a carbon copy of my father.”
“I’m not, Des, I promise I’m not. I’ll never cheat on you. Never.”
“But how can I be sure?” All the hurt, all the pain of her whisper stabbed him to the core. He pulled a small packet out of his pocket and placed it on the table, sliding it silently over to Desiree’s side.
“This is not the best time for presents, Jack,” she said, but he shushed her, and directed her attention back to the packet.
She sighed and opened it quickly. It contained three charms for her bracelet - a silver heart, a pair of crossed fingers in gold with a ribbon tied around them, and a pair of enameled black and white dice.
“What’s this all about?” she asked suspiciously.
Jack picked up the heart, his fingers shaking. He had to do this right. He had to. Everyone’s happiness was resting on this. He took a deep breath, looked into her eyes, and started talking.
“I know your bracelet is all about little reminders of your life. So these three? Will remind you and me about us.”
A tiny frown crossed her brow, but she nodded. Jack pressed on.
“This heart? It’s mine. And it beats only for you Des.” He considered for a moment. “And the kids. But mostly you.”
She smiled a little. He took that as a good sign, and rushed on to the next charm.
“This one, the fingers? Is to remind me of what I’ll lose if I do it again. Believe me, Des, I doubt I’ll ever need the reminder, but it’s there, right on your wrist if you need to shove it in my face.”
Her interest was piqued. “Alright.” She slowly removed her bracelet and affixed the two charms, giving it a shake to make sure they wouldn’t fall off.
Jack gritted his teeth and drank the last of his coffee, waiting for her next move.
“And this one?” she finally asked, holding up the tiny pair of dice.
“Well,” he said, coloring a little. “Those are my balls that you have my permission to remove if I do anything to hurt you.” A sheepish grin crossed his face. “Those were the closest I could get to balls.”
She let out a spurt of laughter, which turned into a sigh.
“So?” he said, his voice hopeful. “What do you say?”
She looked from the charms into his face and said softly, “I actually will remove your balls if you hurt me again, you know that right?”
“I know.”
She took a sip of her now cold coffee and grimaced. “We should have gone to Greens.”
He was silent, impatient for her answer, but clamping his jaw. He knew Desiree had to do this in her own time.
She nodded slowly. “Alright Jack,” she said, looking into his eyes. “Let’s try this thing again.”
Jack almost let out a whoop of joy as he sprung up from the table to kiss her.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE.
Winter had turned to spring, and the watery winter sun had transformed into lovely warm spring sunshine. Desiree sat back in Jack’s arms, on the picnic blanket they had laid out, watching as the boys scampered to the adventure playground right in the middle of King’s Park.
Jack kissed Desiree’s temple, and chuckled softly, sayi
ng in her ear, “Did those boys actually eat anything?”
“Maybe a scrap or two. You know the playground is way more exciting than food.” Desiree laughed. “They’ll be back. They always come back.”
Jack’s hands brushed up and down Desiree’s arms, rattling her bracelet before settling at her waist, lifting her white top just a little so he could place his hands on her skin. He nuzzled her neck. “D’you reckon anyone would notice if I took you back to the car?” His voice was deep and hungry, and seated there in his lap, Desiree could feel his heartbeat surge and his body tighten.
Leaning back against him, Desiree closed her eyes as Jack planted kisses along her neck. Her breath caught as his hand snaked up inside her top to rest on her breast. “Jack,” she protested. “We’re in public.”
Jack sighed like a blighted teenager and brought his hand back to her waist, but continued to journey his lips across her neck. She awkwardly turned her head backward and he caught her lips in a kiss. She sighed contentedly.
Then he fed his fingers under the waistband of her jeans.
“Jack!”
“I can’t help it,” he said, withdrawing them. “You’re just too hot in that sexy little top.”
“That’s it. I’m buying big, baggy jumpers from now on.”
“Don’t you dare.”
Jack pulled her close, hugging her against him, and Desiree wrapped her arms around his. They laughed together, knowing that the banter was all talk right now, but later on tonight, when the twins and Faith were asleep, the fireworks would be bright, as they had been since they got back together.