Letty's Christmas

by Lucia Masciullo

  She hugged Harry. ‘Shall I tell you a story like Abner?’ she offered. Her voice echoed in the dark.

  ‘Did Mary and Jesus camp in a cave, too?’ Harry asked.

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe. There wasn’t room for them in the inn. Oh!’ Letty suddenly remembered. ‘Abner left a bit out. About night-time. And sheep.’

  ‘Sheep?’ said Harry.

  ‘On the first Christmas night, a long, long time ago,’ she began, ‘some shepherds were watching their flocks in the fields. Then suddenly, a host of angels appeared in the sky, singing “Glory in the highest”.’ The words came back to Letty from deep in her memory.

  ‘What does that mean?’ Harry interrupted.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Letty. There were lots of things she didn’t know. ‘But it sounds nice.’

  ‘Mm,’ agreed Harry.

  ‘“This very night,” the angels said, “the Christ-child has been born to you.”’ Letty remembered that from a Christmas song, which she had sung with her family. ‘And the angels told the shepherds how to go to Bethlehem.’

  Letty stopped. She couldn’t remember anything else.

  ‘Letty!’ Harry breathed in her ear. ‘There they are!’

  ‘What?’ said Letty.

  ‘On the rocks,’ whispered Harry.

  Letty looked into the darkness of the cavern. In the depths, away from the palegrey glimmer of the sky, pin-pricks of light glimmered on the rockface.

  ‘The angels!’ Harry said.

  Letty wondered if angels shouldn’t be bigger. But they were mysterious and unearthly, those tiny lights.

  ‘Do you think –’

  ‘Shh, Letty. They’re singing!’

  Harry listened to the ‘angels’, as he lay scrunched up against her, until he fell asleep.

  Letty wished that Abner could hear the angels, and know where to find her. Letty and Harry weren’t Aborigines; they didn’t know how to live off the bush. And Harry couldn’t possibly climb back out of the cave and walk up and over the cliff. If nobody found them, Letty knew, they would die out here.

  Letty thought about the trail of markers she had made. She hoped they would withstand the rain and wind. Then, as she thought all the way back to when they’d fallen from the ridge, Letty realised there was a gap in her plans – at the beginning. There was no marker at the top of the cliff. The cloth tags were all in the forest below. That was why nobody had followed them. None of the adults or Abner knew where they’d gone over the edge. The Greys wouldn’t know where to start looking in the huge wide mountains. They’d never find the blue strips of cloth. And they’d never find her and Harry.

  8

  The Trail

  HARRY was so tired he fell straight asleep, and didn’t wake while Letty shook with sobs.

  She and Harry weren’t going to be rescued. They were both going to die. Already Letty felt hungry, tired and weak.

  She thought how Mary, Clem and Victoria would not know how courageous their little boy was. Mary would lose another child because she, Letty, hadn’t been able to save him. Abner and Lavinia would be very sad, but they might also think she was careless and silly. They wouldn’t know how much she loved them all. It was too, too terrible.

  Letty felt like she was never good enough. It was a familiar feeling. She had often made mistakes. She had made so many this year, starting off with the awful mix-up that got her on the ship.

  She stared up at the little lights twinkling on the cave roof. They reminded her of the stars at sea, and Abner talking about Almighty God. Abner never doubted God, no matter how far he was from home. He never doubted her, either.

  That made her think: since leaving England she had actually done many things that seemed impossible. She had made friends with Abner, the boy she once called ‘Freckle-head’. She had helped Mary give birth, and got herself a new job. She had reached the troopers and saved the Greys from bushrangers.

  Her papa’s last instructions to Letty were to be good, and stay by Lavinia’s chest. But waiting, fearfully and obediently, hadn’t helped her then. It was unlikely to help now. Abner wasn’t here to save her, nor Papa, Clem Grey, Lavinia or anyone.

  She must do something herself.

  ‘You can, dear Letty,’ the stars seemed to whisper. ‘We know you can.’

  In the morning, Letty told Harry she had to leave him.

  Harry looked scared. He frowned. ‘No, Letty. Don’t go!’

  ‘I’m going to get help,’ Letty told him.

  ‘Take me too!’ said Harry.

  ‘I can’t carry you out,’ Letty explained. ‘You’re such a strong, brave boy,’ she said. ‘I know you’ll be all right. Think of all that time you spent by yourself on the sheep-run.’

  ‘But I wasn’t by myself then. The sheep and the butterflies were there.’

  ‘And the angels are here,’ Letty said. ‘Perhaps you can’t see them in daylight, that’s all. You listen for them.’

  Harry peered at the roof, listening. He gave a little smile.

  Letty kissed him on the forehead and climbed up to the crack in the rocks. She pulled herself out under the slab, into the rainforest again. It was cooler than the day before – cool enough to make her shiver. It looked different, too, with the sun slanting in from another direction, glinting off water droplets and shiny leaves. Letty couldn’t figure out which direction the camp might be. But just where She’d left it, near the cave entrance, she found a soggy tag of cloth, bluer than ever now that it was wet.

  Letty searched ahead of her. She couldn’t see another tag anywhere. She wanted to run upwards in panic, but she made herself climb on top of the rock instead. She took a deep breath and had another look. There was the next marker. It was above and to the left, almost behind a tree trunk. Such a tiny thing in all this vast forest.

  Letty began to climb the steep slope. With every step she took, the soles of her boots slipped backwards. She had to grab low branches and prickly bushes to haul herself up. Soon her boots rubbed blisters on both ankles. Letty stopped to take them off. She was dismayed that she could still see the rocks that marked the entrance to the cave. She had so much further to go.

  Letty tied her bootlaces together and strung them around her neck. They banged on her chest. So she hung them from a branch, thinking another marker wouldn’t hurt. Then she made herself keep going. Now she had to move even slower, to avoid sharp sticks under her bare feet.

  Letty’s knees shook and her head felt like it was spinning. She worried about Harry waiting below and hoped he wasn’t too frightened. She thought of the night they had just spent together, and pinpricks of hope and determination flickered inside her, like Christmas candles in a dark church. She would not give up. She could not give up. The words began to march around in her head, keeping time with her heaving breath.

  Wouldn’t; couldn’t. Wouldn’t; couldn’t. Letty made her feet plod upwards. She stumbled on a vine, tripped and fell on her knees. ‘Help!’ she called. Her voice sounded weak and fluttery. Calling was no use. She must keep going. She stood up. But the stone she stood on came loose and slid out from under her. Letty yelped as she lost her balance and slid several feet back down. The stone went crashing away below her, breaking ferns and sending cockatoos screeching.

  The stone stopped. There was silence for a moment. Then Letty heard, ‘Coo-ee!’

  Letty’s heart jumped. ‘Coo-ee!’ she called back. But it sounded high and squeaky, like it wouldn’t go any distance. She couldn’t see anybody, but somewhere not too far away in the bush was another human. She had to draw them to her.

  Letty picked up a pebble and threw it as far as she could in the direction of the other voice. The pebble didn’t make as much noise as the rock, but once again it disturbed a whole lot of birds, and even a wallaby this time. Letty hoped that whoever it was, they might be able to see the birds flapping upwards.

  ‘Coo-ee!’ came the call again, closer this time.

  ‘Here!’ yelled Letty. She threw another pebble.


  And then, suddenly, there was Abner’s coppery hair, bobbing above a bush.

  Letty waved both arms above her head.

  ‘Here!’ she wanted to yell, but it came out as a croak, and all she could do was rush madly up the slope towards him. Clem and Abner both came into sight. They saw Letty and began bounding down the hillside towards her, swags of blankets bouncing on their shoulders.

  ‘Letty!’ Abner was grinning madly. He folded his arms around her as soon as they reached her. ‘Aye, mun, it’s you, praise Heaven.’

  Letty leaned on his shirt, sweaty as it was, and cried in relief.

  ‘How did you find me?’ she asked when she could speak.

  ‘A little blue paper perched on a branch, there was,’ said Abner. ‘All wet and inky, but Mary Grey swore it was yours. And a trail of broken bushes, like you’d gone right over the edge. Had to rig up a line of rope to get down that cliff, we did. But then we found your bits of dress.’

  Clem put a hand on Letty’s arm.

  ‘Letty,’ he said urgently, ‘where’s Harry?’

  Letty wiped her eyes and smiled at Clem.

  ‘I’ll show you,’ she said.

  9

  In Town

  HARRY could not stop talking about the treasure cave all the way back to the top of the pass. When Mary saw them again, she came running, her long skirts billowing around her legs. Harry didn’t squirm away from his mother, but nestled into her lap and rested against her. When Clem explained how Letty had looked after him, Mary’s eyes filled with tears and she hugged Letty too.

  Even Cabbagetree Bill took his pipe out of his mouth. ‘Glad you little tackers are found,’ he told Letty, before going to finish the axle repairs.

  ‘Bloody sure you were dead,’ said the second bullocky, which got him angry looks from all the Greys.

  They set off for Sydney next day. Except for the second bullocky, who took his pay and his team back to Hartley. The rest of the journey went much faster. The road was downhill, the Greys were happy to be together and Harry was excited about Christmas.

  Letty longed to see Lavinia now. Abner got quieter, the closer they got to Sydney. Letty could guess why. Like her, he had nowhere to go.

  ‘Come and stay with us,’ Clem invited them all. ‘We’ll make George find room for a few more swags on his floor. He’s got plenty of bread to share.’

  Letty and Abner accepted, of course. Cabbagetree Bill didn’t. He couldn’t wait to get back to the bush. But neither Letty nor Abner could stay with Mary’s brother George forever. Letty was still alive, and that was wonderful, but the bush wasn’t the only place you could die of hunger. Both she and Abner had to work for a living.

  The cart and the dray rolled into the city a week before Christmas. Clem went down to the docks immediately to arrange the sale of his wool. Abner went with him.

  George welcomed the rest of them at the bakery with a string of swear words.

  ‘Sorry, Letty,’ he said, wiping his hands on his shirt. ‘I’m so pleased to see you all, y’know. It’s darn lonely by myself. Would you like me to go find your sister?’ he added hopefully.

  ‘You can give me a hand,’ said Mary, passing him Victoria, ‘so Letty can go and see her sister.’

  Letty walked along Cumberland Street to the big house where Lavinia worked. Not much had changed since Letty first came to Sydney, except that one of the houses was boarded up. The streets were as crowded and busy as ever. After half a year, Letty was back where She’d arrived, still homeless and still looking for work.

  Lavinia answered when Letty knocked on the back door of number 200. She threw her arms around her little sister. Both of them burst into tears.

  ‘Oh, Letty, why did you have to come now?’ sobbed Lavinia. ‘Didn’t you get my letter?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Letty, breathing in the lavender scent of Lavinia’s dress, so familiar and soothing.

  ‘Then why didn’t you do what I said?’

  ‘I can’t always do what you say, Lavinia,’ Letty answered. ‘I had to leave the Greys’ farm. The drought is very bad.’

  ‘I’ve heard of the drought.’ Lavinia sat down in a kitchen chair. Her lace handkerchief was already on the table, Letty saw, and she was still crying. She hadn’t even noticed that Letty was wearing her old winter dress, instead of the ruined summer one. Something was wrong.

  ‘Money is tight here, too,’ Lavinia said bleakly. ‘I’ve been given notice, Letty. I finish on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve!’ She tossed her head. ‘So they don’t have to pay for a holiday. The so-and-so’s!’ she added in a low voice.

  ‘We could go back to Mrs Chisholm’s,’ Letty suggested.

  Lavinia shook her head. ‘I’ve already been there. Mrs Chisholm is advising girls to go to Port Phillip, where there are more opportunities. But I don’t feel like doing that.’

  ‘Why?’ asked Letty.

  ‘Just because,’ said Lavinia. ‘I prefer it here.’

  Letty wasn’t sure that was a good reason. Letty would have preferred many things to be different, but they weren’t. She went back to the bakery with a heavy heart. So Lavinia was out of work soon, too. Letty did not know what to do. She didn’t even have a decent dress to present herself in. They might have to go to Port Phillip.

  Clem and Abner were back.

  ‘Hold out your hand,’ Clem told his wife. He laid his hand over Mary’s palm and squeezed it. Letty heard the chink of coins. ‘That’s a bit of Christmas for the littlies!’ he said.

  Mary kissed him on the cheek. ‘You got a good price for the wool, then.’

  Clem nodded. ‘Abner’s done well, too.’

  ‘Aye, aye.’ Abner smiled. ‘I’ve got work already, Letty.’

  ‘Oh.’ Letty felt tears coming back. This was too much. Abner’s work always took him away. He was leaving her again. Maybe forever. It didn’t matter where she and Lavinia went, Letty thought. They’d be alone anyway.

  ‘On a ship?’ she asked.

  He nodded. ‘A tidy little schooner. And I like the First Mate. First run is to Newcastle, but not till after Christmas.’

  Letty could hardly bear to look at him. She didn’t see why he was so cheery.

  ‘A coaster, she is, Letty. She runs up and down the Australian coast, that means. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. First Mate says if I’m a good hand, he’ll keep me on.’

  There was no better hand than Abner anywhere, Letty was certain. She would be very happy that he need never sail across the world again, if only she could stay in Sydney.

  ‘And he-er’s a gift for you.’ Abner handed her a rolled-up bit of sack. ‘Being Christmas. They-er’s one for Mary and Victoria, too.’

  Letty took the sack. It didn’t look very promising. It wasn’t big enough to be another door mat, like the one Abner had made on the ship. Lavinia was keeping the mat for her, because she still had nowhere to put it.

  ‘I pulled it from a crate,’ Abner explained. ‘Four or five crates-full, there were. Washed overboard in the storm last week. The agent on the dock says it’s ruined. But you and Mary know how to fix such things, I reckoned.’ He watched her keenly as she unrolled it.

  On the sack in Letty’s lap lay three twisted, salt-encrusted pieces of lace. Letty picked one up and tried to smooth it flat. It was a butterfly ornament. Its curved wings were bent and its delicate picots folded in.

  ‘Thought you’d like that one.’ Abner touched the butterfly gently with a calloused finger. ‘For when you get a new dress.’

  Letty smiled for him. ‘I do know how to fix this,’ she said. ‘It’s beautiful, Abner.’

  ‘The agent was going to chuck it,’ Abner said.

  ‘Really?’ said Letty. ‘It’s very expensive.’

  Abner shook his head. ‘Can’t sell it like that in the big town stores.’

  ‘They should pin it and wash it,’ said Letty. It seemed so wasteful to throw away something that could be so beautiful with just a little work. Especially when there were
people, like herself, who had so little.

  ‘Not everyone’s as clever as you, Letty.’

  Letty blushed. Maybe it was true. Maybe she was good at some things that others weren’t.

  Then she gasped. ‘Oh, Abner!’ Letty was astonished at the size of the idea that had suddenly come to her.

  If she hadn’t faced ship’s fever, bushrangers and the mountain wilderness, she would never have dared dream up such a thing. Her plan was very bold, but she just might make it work. With some help. She had wages from Clem, and she knew she could rely on Abner, and maybe Mary and Lavinia, too …

  Three days later, Letty was feeling almost giddy. She was both nervous and thankful for all the help She’d had putting her idea into action. She had used up all her wages, and Abner’s as well, because the agent on the docks had suddenly got cunning when he sensed he had a buyer for the goods. He charged all the money they had to transport the busted crates.

  Abner shrugged. ‘What’s money for? Glad to spend it, I am,’ he told Letty.

  Surprisingly, George gave enthusiastic support, too. He found a suitable place for Letty near George Street through one of his card-playing friends, and he paid the first month’s rent.

  He winked at Letty when she thanked him.

  ‘Struth, we’ve got to give you and your sister a roof over your heads,’ he said. ‘A Sydney roof, eh?’

  Letty had talked her plan through with Lavinia. Lavinia was very particular about the details, but then she was all for it.

  ‘I’m impressed, Letty,’ she said. ‘You’ve grown up so much since the beginning of the year – remember when you were too shy to stop yourself getting shipped off to Australia?’

  Letty remembered that too well. Many things had not worked out for her this year: the mix-up with the hope chest, which was now empty except for Abner’s mat; the rabbit pie; getting lost in the bush … But she had survived, and she had high hopes that this plan would be successful.