Queermance Anthology, Volume 2

by Queermance Anthology- Volume 2 [MM-FF] (retail) (epub)

  As Lily dipped the sponge into the hole of her belly button, Elizabeth’s body quivered with delight.

  Lily immediately withdrew the sponge. ‘Is that all right?’ she asked, the very image of innocence, and left Elizabeth under no illusions that Lily knew exactly what she was doing to her as she passively sat in her wheelchair.

  It was the most excitement she had experienced since the accident.

  As the sponge, guided by Lily’s careful hand, glided around to the curve of Elizabeth’s back and waist, Elizabeth let her head fall back. There was no support for her neck that high above the wheelchair, but Elizabeth didn’t care. Her breathing was coming faster now, as Lily bathed her ribcage, and the sponge rubbed against the underside of her breast.

  There was a deep down sensation, a tightening, that was familiar from the times she’d enjoyed sex in the past. Lifting her head, her gaze went hazy with pleasure as Lily lathered her breasts with the scented water.

  She hadn’t thought she’d ever be able to feel this way again. Her gaze locked with Lily as her breath panted in and out of her, and then Lily leaned forward gently. Her lips were ever so soft as they touched against Elizabeth’s. With exquisite patience, Lily’s tongue explored the inside of Elizabeth’s mouth, like a tiny, inquisitive bird. Elizabeth kissed her back, unable to resist her friend’s touch. Her entire body was damp from the sponge bath but she pushed her torso forward, reaching her arms around Lily to draw her closer. Her upper body shook with spasms she couldn’t and didn’t want to control.

  Finally, Lily rested her head against Elizabeth’s forehead. ‘How do you feel?’ she whispered. ‘No pain or discomfort?’

  Elizabeth shook her head. ‘I feel… I feel like I could fly,’ she whispered back.

  Lily smiled. ‘Let’s see if we can arrange that.’

  Lily finished off the bathing with loving strokes of the sponge around Elizabeth’s neck and collarbone, with another light kiss offered against her cheek.

  Worn out and stunned, Elizabeth could hardly wait for Lily to come back to her with a towel. Elizabeth still felt lax-limbed after the response Lily had won from her. She gazed at her dearest friend with glittering eyes and the crest of a sigh. Lily kissed Elizabeth again before she began to dry her thoroughly, starting again with the tips of her toes, curving into the dips behind her knees.

  When she pressed the towel tight up to dry the apex of Elizabeth’s thighs, Elizabeth gasped, not because she could feel it, but because of intensity of remembered sensation.

  ‘Why did we never do this?’ she whispered against Lily’s tender lips. ‘Why did we wait so long?’

  Lily smiled at her, but she had no answer to give.

  Elizabeth shuddered again with release before Lily’s ministrations were done. Lily didn’t say no when Elizabeth offered the dexterity of her own fingers in return, just sat up against the edge of the bath, her own expression lost in the wonders she had helped Elizabeth to rediscover.

  4.

  She dreamed of birds that night. To the backdrop of the warm skies of burnt umber and orange, a flock of brilliant, red rosellas soared in unity. The flock glided, buffeted by light winds that scarcely ruffled feathers, but boosted them along.

  Elizabeth was a part of this flock. The sun laid its glorious warmth against the delicate bones of her new feathered back as, with a turn of her little head, she caught sight of one of the other rosellas a wingspan away.

  Lily.

  Elizabeth’s beak opened, a colourful note of joy leaving her small body as she exulted in the sudden freedom found in the wings she had traded for her broken legs.

  An echoing trill sounded from the Lily-bird before, without warning, she rose up above the flock, higher up into the burnt umber sky. Around her, the rest of the flock carried onwards, unknowing of the two cuckoos in rosella feathers.

  Elizabeth dipped downward before she found the way to tilt her wings, then flap them energetically in a way that would take her up, and up, and up. The low-flying rosellas were behind them now. Only the single bright red and blue speck of Lily remained.

  White clouds pulled apart as Elizabeth and Lily zipped through them, leaving a fine residue on their wings. Tiny droplets of water beaded on feathers, then fell away. Nothing soaked into the fragile skin.

  Elizabeth opened her beak to form another melodic song. Lily’s head bobbed as she joined in the music. They circled around a tree at the edge of the clouds, once, twice, together.

  I told you there was magic in the world.

  The words whispered across Elizabeth’s mind like the clouds against her wings, and Elizabeth had known Lily long enough to recognise that voice anywhere.

  Is this you? Are you doing this?

  The Lily-bird ducked her head and somehow managed to make the bird face look coy.

  You will walk again, I promise. I’ve learned so much more since high school.

  5.

  Elizabeth jolted awake with a gasp at pain that twitched her upper body and woke her from the dream. It was five o’clock in the morning, and the sleeping medication given to her by the hospital almost always wore off around this time, leaving Elizabeth to lie awake and in bed alone. It would be hours before her mum or dad came in to check on her.

  At just before six o’clock, Lily let herself into the house before anyone else was moving. Elizabeth propped herself up - legs unmoving - to greet her friend. Lily spoke first, before Elizabeth could ask what she was doing there so early.

  ‘How are you feeling?’ Lily asked, as she drew level and sat with her on the bed. It was only then the memory came back of the wondrous dream that had filled her night.

  ‘You didn’t…’ Elizabeth said, hardly aware of what she was starting to ask. ‘You couldn’t have… been here last night?’

  Although she was almost certain of her own overactive imagination, something made her voice lift at the end of the sentence, just enough to turn the statement into a question.

  Lily just smiled. Her answer didn’t come immediately but, when it did, it was filled with enigma. ‘I’d have thought you would have stopped looking for the wires by now.’

  It took Elizabeth a sleepy moment to realise what Lily meant. She was of course talking about the strings or wires searched for by their entire year level in year ten. Elizabeth narrowed her eyes.

  ‘You couldn’t-‘ Elizabeth started, still unable quite to believe.

  Instead of arguing, Lily pursed her lips ever so slightly and stood up. ‘How are your legs feeling?’ she asked.

  Elizabeth shook her head. ‘Lily, you know…’ As happened every time that someone mentioned her legs, Elizabeth unconsciously reached out to try to see if they would move this time. Of course they wouldn’t. They never did.

  Except, this time, there was a little movement under the covers where her toes were.

  Elizabeth looked at them, up at Lily, and back down again. She didn’t even have words for the shock she experienced. Words like “how?” and “what?” seemed pale and useless.

  Lily looked pleased when Elizabeth looked at her. ‘Would you like me to rub your legs today?’

  In wordless wonder, Elizabeth nodded. She watched the top of Lily’s pale head until she realised she just couldn’t go on staring. Lily continued to manipulate Elizabeth’s muscles with her magic hands until a conversation gradually sprung up between them.

  Lily had gone back to uni, and was studying part time. It was the other reason she had moved back in to live with her parents. She had some savings; enough that she didn’t need to supplement her income with a part time job immediately.

  She drove Elizabeth to the hospital, then waited outside physio until Elizabeth invited her to come in.

  ‘It’s not going to be terribly interesting,’ she disclaimed.

  ‘It’s interesting if it’s something to do with you,’ Lily said.

  Words became conversation, conversation became sharing, sharing became reconnecting. The physio exclaimed at the progress that started
as a couple of wiggles of Elizabeth’s toes. He gradually manoeuvred Elizabeth’s legs into positions she could feel, and gave Lily exercises that she could help Elizabeth progress through. As the feeling came back to her legs, the feelings between the two young women grew. Elizabeth saw in the knowing glances between her mum and dad when they noticed Lily was starting to be more than just an additional support.

  ‘She was hurt by her old boyfriend.’ There was a slight emphasis on the first part of the word. ‘We don’t want you getting hurt.’

  ‘I’m not going to get hurt.’ Her own bitterness and sense of unfairness wouldn’t have allowed her to utter those words and with such crystal belief only one month before. That awareness brought a warm smile to her face. Overall, the interaction seemed convincing enough that neither one of her parents argued it again.

  6.

  Though the pain days started to grow fewer and further in between, there were still nights when Elizabeth couldn’t sleep. On those bad pain nights, Lily sat with her. Together, they worried out the kinds of options Elizabeth still had available.

  ‘Most desk positions don’t require a great deal of movement to get the job done,’ Elizabeth said. ‘A lot of universities have great disability access these days.’

  ‘What major do you think you’d pick?’ Lily asked. She was lying on her front on Elizabeth’s bed, chin cupped in her hands, while Elizabeth sat close by in the chair.

  Elizabeth considered the question as a pain spasm made her wince. The questions and answers gave her a distraction; a reason to push through.

  ‘I guess, sociology? Or maybe social work? What discipline does that come under?’ Elizabeth gave a small smile to reassure Lily that she was all right.

  ‘I don’t know.’ Lily sat up. ‘But we could go on campus and find out.’

  ‘Maybe,’ Elizabeth murmured. She could feel her body becoming more tired, despite the pain. It was almost time to take her next dose of pain medication. ‘Will I see you in my dreams?’

  It had become something of a tradition between them, in place of the “sweet dreams” that most couples wished one another. They didn’t always dream of flying. They hadn’t dreamt of rosellas again since the first time. Lily’s dreams only had just one thing in common: they kept the hope for mobility alive in Elizabeth’s mind, and kept despair at bay.

  Lily got up, starting to help Elizabeth from chair to bed. She’d gotten stronger over the last month, Elizabeth observed. Stronger in the arms and upper body, just like Elizabeth had from wheeling herself around.

  Once Elizabeth was settled, Lily leaned down and touched her lips with her own. ‘See you there, my love.’

  7.

  Her dark golden hair was tied up in a messy bun that accented her high cheekbones, rather than detracting from her appearance. She was clothed in casual cut-off blue jeans and an off-the-shoulder top. She was still this otherworldly creature to Elizabeth, someone who was no less a mystery to her after all the time they’d spent getting to know each other again. And that was exactly how Elizabeth liked it. Lily smiled at her from the driver’s seat of the car, brown eyes meeting Elizabeth’s across the centre console.

  ‘Ready?’ she asked.

  Early enrolments had opened at La Trobe University in Bundoora. Elizabeth had called ahead to the social sciences department and explained her interest, and her situation. They had a meeting scheduled today for 1.30 pm.

  ‘I’m ready,’ Elizabeth said.

  The drive from her home to the university wasn’t far, but Elizabeth wanted to get there early in case she had any difficulty getting into the meeting room.

  There was a blue and white disabled parking permit dangling from Lily’s rear view mirror, allowing them closer parking. As Lily got out and walked around to Elizabeth’s side of the car, Elizabeth took a deep breath then let it out again.

  Lily held out her hand with a smile born of pride and confidence in Elizabeth shining from her eyes. Elizabeth put her hands in Lily’s. From the backseat, Lily had taken out two walking sticks and these she offered to Elizabeth, one after the other. With a lot of concentration - and Lily hovering close by - Elizabeth began to push herself out of the car, leaning heavily on the sticks and feeling the strength in Lily’s arm at her back and finally, finally, standing upright.

  ‘You all right?’ Lily asked, as Elizabeth shuffled a few paces forward so Lily could close the passenger side door.

  ‘Yeah,’ Elizabeth said. Her eyes glowed from exertion, and from something else. ‘Yeah, I think I am.’

  THE INSTRUCTOR

  Victoria Brown

  Sam ducked just in time to avoid a swinging punch to the shoulder, as he saw it heading towards him in the changing room mirror.

  The would-be assailant, who just so happened to be one of his closest friends, lowered his fist with a frown. ‘What’s up with you?’ Rob complained, looking bitterly disappointed at the lack of skin-to-skin satisfaction even as he swung his gym bag onto the bench and kicked off his threadbare runners.

  ‘I still have the marks from last week,’ Sam replied, stripping off his shirt and bending his shoulder blade towards his friend by way of proof, before tugging on his new dobok jacket, bright white with black edging around the collar, still crisp with starch.

  Rob whistled. ‘Mate, you bruise like a peach,’ he said. ‘Ever think maybe you picked the wrong sport?’

  Sam simply smirked at him and slung his embroidered belt around his waist, tying it in two easy, practised movements.

  Standing with his heels touching the wall and his legs flush to it right to the tops of his thighs, Sam straightened his back and bent slowly forward in a perfect arc, until he was practically folded in half with his palms on the floor in front of his toes. Something in his spine clicked satisfyingly. Around him, people were filing into the dojang, bare feet audible on the rubber jigsaw mats, exchanging hugs and high-fives. Some had been on holidays and were now attending their first class back for the year. Many, including Sam and Rob, had just graduated from the colour belt classes to the black belt class. There was the family sense of new-term excitement and renewed vigour in the air.

  ‘Hey guys!’ A familiar, excitable girl’s voice came from somewhere above him. Sam recognised Maddie, another new black belt, without even looking up. From his bent position he could see her daintily painted toes peeking out from the hem of her white uniform pants. ‘Uuugh, Sam, how do you even do that?’ she winced.

  ‘Sam has his knees in his mouth and can’t answer right now.’ That was Rob’s mannish, slightly posh-Aussie accent, a lilting suggestion of flirtation. There was a soft, wet sound; a peck on the cheek. Sam, unseen, rolled his eyes, though secretly he envied the subtle ease with which his friend conveyed interest. Rob was good with women because he didn’t attempt to treat them as a separate species. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it was an attitude that got results, although with Maddie, Sam could have told him he was pushing his luck.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Maddie asked suddenly.

  ‘Who?’ Rob shifted beside Sam, looking around. ‘Oh,’ he said with some interest, ‘Must be the new instructor Nadine was on about.’

  ‘Please tell me you’re joking,’ Maddie said in a slightly choked voice.

  Curious despite himself, Sam unfolded just in time to see Nadine, the Head Instructor, leading an unfamiliar face towards them. ‘And these,’ she was saying cheerfully as they approached, ‘Are some of our newest black belts: Maddie, Rob, and Sam.’

  The new face regarded them seriously, dark eyes flickering from one to the next. Sam wondered what Maddie’s objection was: certainly it could not be immediate dislike . It was a strong-jawed, Caucasian face, thin-lipped, broad-nosed, a wide forehead below a dark buzzcut. The man himself was much taller than Sam, though this was not hard to achieve, and the chest and arms were noticeably muscular even through the thick canvas fabric of his dobok. If there was anything unattractive about him, it was the lack of expression on his face; it could be called mild interes
t at best.

  The stranger held out his right hand, resting it lightly on the wrist of his other hand, and bowed slightly in the traditional fashion. As Sam reached out to take the offered hand and bow in return, the man spoke in a soft but clear, deep voice. ‘Ahn young ha sim nee kah.’

  Sam blinked, nonplussed. Beside him he could feel Rob stiffening, either with offense or amusement, it was hard to tell. Even Nadine’s eyes had gone slightly wide. Sam felt the reflected embarrassment hit him like a breaking wave. Did this guy just greet me in Korean?

  After a moment’s awkward silence, the newcomer let go Sam’s hand. ‘Xander,’ he said by way of introduction.

  ‘Sam,’ Sam said in relief, and then remembered that Nadine had already introduced him, and felt his face heat up quickly. ‘I don’t speak Korean,’ he added, into the burning silence. ‘I’m Australian. And my family’s actually from Laos.’

  Surprisingly, Xander showed no sign of embarrassment. He didn’t even break eye contact. He simply nodded, not taking his eyes off Sam’s face. Sam wondered if he was supposed to say something else. Luckily however, the question became a moot point; Nadine whisked Xander away to introduce him to the other class members.

  ‘Oh my god,’ Maddie whispered, choking with suppressed laughter.

  ‘It’s not funny,’ Rob muttered. ‘What a racist dickbag.’ Sam felt still more heat rise in his cheeks.

  ‘Maybe he’s just being��� traditional,’ Maddie said, getting a hold of herself.

  ‘Yeah right,’ Sam muttered. ‘Let’s wait and see if he tries the “traditional” greeting on everyone, shall we?’

  Having apparently learned his lesson, Xander did not attempt to speak Korean with any other of the adult black belts, not even with the handful of other Asians in the group. Sam liked to think himself immune from accidental racism - he encountered it often enough - and would have forgotten the whole thing if it weren’t for the fact that, for the rest of the class, the instructor totally ignored his existence.

  He might not even have noticed it, except that the big man, who was fond of wandering the room during drills and correcting form, manoeuvring hands and feet into the correct positions and demonstrating improved technique, walked right past Sam and Rob multiple times as though they were not even there. He seemed to have an eye for detail when it came to all the other pairs, but when Sam experimentally made a couple of mistakes to see if it would attract attention, it seemed to make no difference.