He eyed me. “Are you taking Lexi?”
A smile spread across my face. “That’s the plan.”
“Cool. So, I get to meet her?” Shawn tossed his items in his duffle bag and zipped it up.
“Yeah.” I picked up the strap of my bag and strung it on my shoulder. “As long as you don’t talk any shit.”
“What are you talking about?” Shawn held up his hands. “I’ve never said anything to one of your girls.” His eyes darted up and he pressed a finger to his lips. “Not that I remember.”
I turned him to face me. “Look man, Lexi isn’t like Macy, the Silicone Triplets, or any of those girls. She’s a really good girl.”
His face twisted. “What the hell is she doing with you?”
Releasing his shoulders, I took a step back. I wasn’t a good match for Lexi, but for once, I wanted to do something right. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Sorry.” Shawn’s faced dropped. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Readjusting my bag, I walked off.
“Aw c’mon, man. Don’t be pissed.”
I held up a hand and waved as I pushed out the door. “See you later.”
Shawn continued to mumble something, but I didn’t turn around. I placed my bag in my locker and went straight to the conference room. Coach Anderson was already at the podium, talking to reporters. When I got the signal, I approached the front. After a quick statement and answering a few questions, I left. I signed some autographs and then thanked my family for coming.
Once I got in my car, I turned on my phone, smiling when my message alert sounded.
Lexi: Good luck! I hope you make them eat shit!
A loud laugh escaped from deep within my chest. She had a cute sense of humor when the occasion called for it. I noticed the time of the message: seven forty-three. Had she watched the game? Why didn’t she want to see it in person? Something told me it probably had to do with what had happened the day before, but there was only one way to find out.
Me: Thanks. Not only did I make them eat their own shit, but roll in it too!
I pushed send and waited. After a minute or so, I tapped out another message to her.
Me: You want to go to the party with me?
The words glared at me and I erased them, retyping another message.
Me: There’s a party tonight, remember the one I told you about? Would you like to go with me?
I reread it several times. It sounded too formal, not like me. I pressed the delete button and watched the letters disappear one by one. My fingers quickly prepared another message.
Me: I coming to pick you and take you to that party so get dressed. I’ll be there in thirty minutes.
Without hesitating, I hit send and laid my phone next to me. That sounded more like me. If her fiancé had cheated on her, I definitely wasn’t giving up. Starting the car, I reversed and drove to the store to pick up a six-pack of beer. The same kind we had the day before at the suite. It would be a good way to get the night started.
Glancing at my phone, I noticed Lexi hadn’t replied. My shoulders dropped and even though I couldn’t lift them, I cranked up the radio and headed straight for her dorm. I wasn’t giving up. Not yet.
I drove around campus waiting for someone to leave so I could park right by her dorm. After wasting ten minutes, I finally drove to the visitors parking across from the student union and parked there. I slipped on my blazer and wondered if I looked overdressed for a frat party. I hoped the jeans gave my outfit a more casual look. Maybe I should have consulted with Shawn, the fashion expert. My plan was to prove to Lexi I was capable of cleaning up my act. Hopefully, that showed. If she were keeping count of reasons not to be with me, I didn’t need to give her any more.
As I walked toward her dorm, I called her number. I held the phone to my ear and listened as it rang and rang.
“Hi, you’ve reached Lexi. Sorry I missed your call. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back.”
I thought about hanging up as her message played, but decided, what the hell?
“Hey, Lexi, it’s Raven. I’m almost at your dorm so I hope you’re ready to go.” I hung up and glanced at the time. It was ten forty-five. Surely, she wasn’t asleep. A few girls passed by me, giggling and waving. To be nice, I waved back, even though I didn’t know them. I tried to open the door to Charter Hall and frowned when I realized it was locked. I pulled out my phone and dialed Lexi again.
It rang and rang, and then the front door opened. I hung up and stepped aside when a couple shuffled through the doorway.
“Excuse us,” the guy said.
“Yeah, no problem.” I caught the door with my hand and started to walk in when the girl spoke up.
“Hey, you can’t go in without authorization.”
I stopped and turned around, using my foot to keep the door open. “It’s okay. I’m picking someone up.”
She eyed me suspiciously and the guy tugged on her arm, trying to get her to leave. “I guess,” she huffed before trotting off with him.
These dorms didn’t play around when they said authorized residents only. It was like a damn virgin vault or something. Shit. With my thumb, I typed out another text to Lexi.
Me: I’m downstairs waiting for you.
Before I hit send, I pressed a smiley face. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her I’d stalk her. What I was doing was starting to sound just like that. I paced the foyer area, phone in hand, waiting for her to respond. My heart tapped a rapid beat and my shirt felt snug. I pulled at the collar and unbuttoned the next-to-top button as beads of sweat collected along my brow.
I circled the room a few times and then sat at the piano. The ivory was shiny and sleek as I ran my fingers along the keys. Had Lexi touched them recently? I pressed a few keys, trying to sound out the chords to Lean On Me. What I wouldn’t do to hear Lexi play again. I unlocked my phone once more and typed another message.
Me: Hello? Lexi? I’m sitting at the piano waiting to take you to the party.
The screen stayed fixed on my last message and then faded to black. She wasn’t coming downstairs. The one time I actually tell a girl I’ll pick her up and she ditches me. Go figure. I laughed internally and walked out of Charter Hall alone, even though I wanted to cry.
I unlocked my car and opened the door. Before getting in, I stopped. What the hell was I going to do now? Shawn would give me a hard time and half the team was expecting me to show up with Lexi. The party of the year suddenly didn’t sound that great. I pounded the top of the car with my fist and then rested my arms and head against it. This sucked.
Reaching in the back seat, I grabbed the paper sack and slammed the door shut. I trekked across the parking lot toward the stadium. The lights shone brightly against the dark sky and the smell of dry ice and fireworks lingered in the air. The victory was still fresh.
Several cars, including vendor trucks and security, lined the front area. I walked past cleaning crews and police officers, but no one stopped me. Following the main walkway, I headed toward the clubhouse. I took the elevator to the fifth floor and got off. A few workers noticed me, but again, no one said anything. Maybe it was because of how I was dressed, or maybe they recognized me. Whatever the reason, I didn’t care.
I held my wallet up to the card reader and the door opened. I hoped the Marshalls weren’t still there. The door swung open and the lights came on, revealing an empty room. Crusted food trays and empty beer bottles remained on the bar and the trash was overflowing. No doubt, there was a party in here. Using my foot, I kicked the door shut and turned off the lights.
I pulled a beer from the sack and set the rest on the coffee table, just like last time. Except it wasn’t like last time. Lexi wasn’t there with me. My body collapsed on the leather chair, tired from the hits and blows I had endured for the past three hours. I twisted the cap off and tossed it on the floor. Lifting the bottle to my lips, I let the cold liquid fill my mouth as I took several swallows.
The
more I tried not to think about Lexi, the more I did. I thought coming to the suite would be a good idea, but maybe it wasn’t. Images of us standing against the glass taunted me, reminding me she had refused to kiss me. That she wanted nothing more than to tutor me. Then again, could I blame her? I was dangerous for her and she knew it.
I glanced at my phone one more time. Nothing. Lexi had my mind spinning like a ball out of control. Her avoidance was like a two hundred and fifty pound linebacker taking me down at the goal line. Why didn’t she want to talk to me? The lights from the stadium blurred my vision and I squeezed my eyes tightly, trying to blink the moisture away. I was so damn pathetic. No girl like Lexi would ever want a loser like me. I was the biggest dumbass for thinking that.
No one wants to deal with someone who has heavy issues. But those were the cards I was dealt. I had no choice but to shuffle them and stuff them back in my pocket. I had to go on with my life and carrying them with me, because I honestly didn’t know how to get a new deck. From the looks of the way things were going, I’d be stuck with them for life.
***
The rest of the weekend dragged and I never heard from Lexi. I honestly didn’t know what to think. Had I pushed too hard at the stadium? Did I scare her off? Did she feel like I had stalked her? I did, but not in a bad way. Josh and Shawn wanted to know what happened and why I hadn’t show up to the party. I lied and told them Lexi wasn’t feeling well and I met up with my family instead. That resulted in being called pussy whipped and anything else they could conjure in their small minds.
By the time Tuesday rolled around, my outline was complete and I had even started on my paper. I really wanted to show Lexi I was serious about my grades. I arrived early to campus — a first for me — and stopped by the student union to grab a breakfast sandwich. The morning was cold and dew covered the grass. Halloween was at the end of the week and the entire campus buzzed with excitement. Flyers were pegged to boards, inviting students to various parties. Josh’s family was hosting their annual Halloween party at their ranch, but I didn’t care to go.
As I crossed the lawn, I kept a steady eye on Charter Hall, hoping I’d see Lexi before our tutoring session later that day. I walked slowly, taking my time watching students come in and out of the building, but none of them were her. Looking over my shoulder, I gave one more check before turning toward the business building. Was I crazy for wanting to see her? I wanted to know everything was okay between us, even though her earlier messages didn’t indicate otherwise. She had only ignored my last calls and texts about the party. Maybe she was still having fiancé issues.
Just as I opened the door to Reed Hall, my phone buzzed. I pulled it out and my breath hitched in my throat. It was Lexi. I quickly unlocked my phone and stared at the screen.
Lexi: Sorry about the other night. I wasn’t feeling well and I’m still not. I need to cancel our session today. I’m sorry.
“Excuse me.” A girl shuffled past me along with a few other students.
I stumbled to the side and reread the message, making sure I understood. She wasn’t mad at me after all.
Yeah!
Internally, I cringed, hoping I didn’t curse her by telling Josh and Shawn she was sick. My fingers worked rapidly, typing a message.
Me: Don’t worry about it. Sorry if I was being pushy. Do you need anything?
Three dots blinked on my screen and I waited for her message to show up. A few seconds later, she replied.
Lexi: No, thank you. I’ll be fine. See you Thursday at the writing center.
A smile crept over my face. Two days weren’t that long to wait. I could do it. I headed to class with a new, profound determination. Maybe I wasn’t stuck with these cards after all.
Thursday morning arrived and I had a hard time containing my excitement. I was like a damn kid going to Toys R Us with a stack of gift cards. Classes dragged, but I managed to keep my focus, taking notes and listening to the lectures. Lexi was changing me. And for the better.
“Don’t forget, your term paper is due next Tuesday,” the professor reminded us as I rushed out the door.
“Hey, Raven.” A hand brushed across my arm. “I texted. Did you—”
I spun around, but kept going, not slowing down. “Hey, Beth. Sorry, gotta go.”
“Call me.” She held up her phone.
I nodded and waved bye, even though I didn’t plan on calling her. Lexi had one-hundred percent of my attention. More doors opened and the hall flooded with people. One by one, I dodged them as I weaved through the crowd. I stumbled out the door and jumped down the stairs, skipping half of them in the process.
“Hey, dude, what’s the rush?” Shawn asked as I passed by him.
I turned around, jogging backwards. “Gotta grab something to eat before I meet Lexi.”
A huge grin spread across Shawn’s face and he shook his head. “Whipped! I’m telling you, man.”
I shrugged, trying to suppress a grin.
As I ate, I reviewed my paper, making sure I was prepared to discuss it. I made additional notes and jotted down a few more ideas I knew Lexi would approve of. After that, I practically ran to Ramsey Hall, wanting to arrive early. I only hoped the witch wasn’t there. I shuddered just thinking about her wicked, evil cat eyes.
I walked into the small office and a musty, wet smell hit me. The carpet looked buckled and I wondered why they hadn’t replaced it after the flood. Through the oblong window, I saw Dr. Phillips talking to Poindexter in his office. I looked around for Lexi and didn’t see her, but she still had ten minutes. Tossing my backpack on the table, I sat and waited for her.
Five minutes passed and still no Lexi. I tried not to get overly anxious, but there was a damn jackhammer determined to make a giant hole in the center of my chest.
“Hey, Raven?”
I glanced up to see Dr. Phillips standing in the doorway of his office.
“Yes, sir?”
He jingled the change in his pocket. “Can you join me for a moment?”
I grabbed my backpack and stood up. Poindexter exited his office before I entered.
Dr. Phillips shut the door and I knew this wasn’t a good sign. “Please, have a seat.” He patted the back of the chair positioned in front of his desk and then sat in his chair.
“Is everything okay?” I shucked my backpack from my shoulders and set it next to me. The jackhammer had turned into a loud siren, as if a hurricane was on the way.
Leaning forward, he inhaled deeply and then clasped his hands together. “Unfortunately, Lexi won’t be able to tutor you any longer, and—”
“Why? What happened?” There was a category five hurricane brewing inside of me. Had Lexi gotten upset about what happened at the Marshalls’ suite? “Did I do something wrong?”
Shit! Had I totally screwed up?
“Raven,” Dr. Phillips motioned for me to calm down, “she reassured me this had nothing to do with you.”
“Then, what happened? I…I don’t understand.” I pulled off my ball cap and raked my hand through my hair. This didn’t make any sense. What had changed?
Dr. Phillips stared at me, his eyes narrowing as though trying to search for the correct words. “All I can tell you is she resigned for personal reasons.”
My hands fell to my side. What in the hell was I going to do now? Aside from school, where did that leave us? One word registered in my mind: nowhere.
“I know you enjoyed working with her and my understanding is that your grades have improved.” He inclined his head and offered a consoling smile. “I’m sorry.”
My back hit the chair and all air left my lungs, leaving me practically lifeless. There was more to this story and I had a feeling it had something to do with her fiancé. I was also positive I had something to do with it, too.
“I’ve arranged for you to work with Kyler Winston. He’s a grad student and easy to work with. I think you’ll do just fine with him.” Dr. Phillips glanced out his window to Poindexter.
Poinde
xter might have been good, but not as good as Lexi.
I didn’t want his help.
I wanted Lexi’s.
But that wasn’t going to happen.
With no other choice, I agreed and walked out of his office. I spent the next hour, working with Kyler, even though I didn’t want to. At least the guy was nice, unlike Sarah, and since I ruined the relationship with Lisa, I was at this guy’s mercy. As soon as we finished, I texted Lexi to see what the hell was going on, but she never responded. I went to her dorm, but she didn’t come downstairs.
I tried to focus all my attention on Saturday’s game, but Lexi clouded all my thoughts. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get her out of my head. I was a compulsive stalker in my own mind.
Everywhere I looked, I saw images of Lexi.
Everything I did reminded me of her.
Everywhere I went, I imagined us together.
I was so effed up. The team sensed it too and Coach had a long chat with me. Dr. Phillips had told him about reassigning me to Kyler and Coach asked if I had messed things up with Lexi. I lied, swearing to him that we were strictly friends and nothing more. Then again, that was exactly what we were, weren’t we? Or, at least, we were at some point. I had no idea where we stood when it came to our friendship status.
My lack of focus resulted in a loss for the team — our second of the season. I was so pissed at myself, but determined to get my shit straight. Josh and Shawn pulled me aside, questioning whether Lexi had anything to do with our defeat. I lied again, assuring them no girl had control of me that way. But she did, and I had no idea how to deal with it.
For an entire week, I texted her multiple times and went to her dorm, stalking her purposely. She refused to talk to me or see me. I was at a loss and completely confused. I finally decided to give her some space and did what I knew how to do — reshuffled my cards and went on with my life.
I went to practice and worked out daily. I studied the plays and understood what it would take to win the games. Twice a week, I met with Kyler and he helped me perfect my papers. I did my schoolwork, like a good student, and studied harder than ever. Maybe I had to prove to myself that I could do it without Lexi’s help, or maybe my innate desire to win took over. Whatever it was, I rode the wave, because I knew it wouldn’t last forever.
A Different Side (University Park #4) Page 15