Tears dripped from her eyes and I took a hard swallow, pushing back my own. Confessing everything lifted a huge, invisible rock that had been weighing me down. I was working hard at tearing down the walls and I would continue to do so, as long as it proved that I loved her and was willing to fight to be with her.
“Don’t say that.” She pressed a finger to my lips, forbidding me from speaking. “You’re more than you realize. You just need to believe in yourself instead of letting your past dictate who you are. We all have faults, we all make mistakes. All I’m asking is that you stop making bad choices. Instead, choose me.” Her shoulders lifted and hope circled in the center of her eyes.
I wrapped my hand around hers and kissed her finger gently. My eyes closed and I let out a silent breath, keeping my lips firmly pressed to her finger. I truly didn’t deserve this woman. God must have been feeling generous when he sent her my way.
Slowly, I opened my eyes. “You haven’t asked for a life like this and you’re here, regardless. Why do you keep coming back, Lexi?”
She pressed her palm to my cheek. Her stare deepened and I felt our soulful connection reach inside me, latching on to my heart. “Because I care about you, Raven. I’m in love with you. Can’t you see that?”
“Even though I’m not good for you?”
“Quit saying that. You know that I’m better with you.”
“I think it’s the other way around.”
“Then stop leaving me and just let me love you.” She kissed me softly and I saw it all — the love and care she had for me, the forgiveness, the determination to be with me. It was all there, waiting for me to accept. I was willing to do whatever it took to be with her.
Lexi was all I ever wanted.
All I ever needed.
We were meant to be together.
“You’ll take me back?” I whispered against her lips.
“I never gave you up.”
***
“Hey.” I woke up a few hours later too see Lexi in my arms. It was the best feeling ever.
She looked at me with sleepy, seductive eyes. “Hey.” Having her next to me took away every pain, every fear, and settled every demon inside me.
A low light filtered through the slit in the curtains. “What time is it?” I glanced at my wrist, but noticed I wasn’t wearing my watch.
Lexi turned to the clock on the nightstand. “A little after five.”
“I guess we fell asleep.” I ran my fingers through her strands, unable to keep my hands off her. Lexi was gorgeous; I missed touching her soft skin and smelling her sweet scent. I gave her a full look-over. She was still wearing her jeans but had removed her sweater, giving me a nice view of her cleavage with her low-cut tank top. With or without clothes, she was sexy as hell. Her body was made for worshipping.
“It’s easy to do. Being next to you is so comforting.” She parted my open dress shirt and glided her finger down the center of my bare chest. My body quivered and my muscles twitched at the tempting lure of her touch. It didn’t take much for Lexi to get my hormones revved.
“I missed sleeping next to you.” I slid my hand behind her neck and buried my fingers into her hair. Drawing her face to mine, I kissed her deeply, fully, filling her with all my love. I wanted her to know I regretted everything I’d done and she was the only one for me. Our kiss grew hungry as we devoured each other’s lips and twined our tongues together. The warmth of her mouth sent my body into a state of need.
I wanted Lexi.
On top of me.
Kissing me.
Loving me.
Only she could satisfy this burning desire consuming every part of me. I was lost in the trap she had unknowingly created for me. But it was a trap I wanted to spend the rest of my life in — no question about it. I had to make sure I had her successfully back in my trap, too. The net I cast was only for her and I refused to release her from it.
My hands dropped to her waist and I picked her up as I stood. My legs felt a little weak but the excitement circling inside me gave me a new founded source of energy. Lexi hooked her legs around me, clinging to my body. Our tongues danced in a perfect melody that had me ready to grind against her. I couldn’t get enough of her. I needed to be inside of her, connected to her.
I laid her on the bed, keeping my mouth glued to hers. I rubbed the length of my body against hers, giving her a taste of what was to come. Her eyes fluttered closed and her body went limp. I had her right where I wanted her. In my trap. Lowering my mouth, I traced kisses along her neck. I sucked on her skin and was ready to devour her entire body.
Lexi dove her hands into my hair, massaging my head with her fingertips. It felt so damn good, but I was ready for her to massage something else. She arched her back and moaned as her body writhed underneath me, telling me she was ready for me to take complete possession of her. And I’d gladly do it until we had nothing left to give.
Lexi slid my shirt over my shoulders and I quickly shucked it off. She didn’t waste any time, pushing me onto my back. She lowered her mouth to my chest and placed several sweet kisses before teasing me with her tongue. Using the tip, she traced over every indention and crevice as she made a path to my navel. My stomach quivered and I let out low moan as she unzipped my pants and pulled them down. Unable to resist her any longer, I flipped her onto her back.
Her eyes widened in delight. “Ah. So you want control.” Her hands dragged down my back to my butt, giving it a nice squeeze. She pressed me into her, telling me she wanted me.
“Whatever you want, baby. I’ll give it to you.”
She hooked her legs around my waist, positioning herself perfectly against my groin. I was ready to rip her jeans off so I could feel her completely. “Oh, God, Lexi,” I moaned into her mouth as I rubbed against her, showing her I was ready to make love to her.
Resting my weight on one arm, I used my other hand to trace the curves of her body. Touching her was sheer pleasure and I was dying to feel her naked body on mine. Quickly, I stripped her, tossing her clothes to the floor. My eyes gave her an approving nod. Lexi was perfect…so damn beautiful. I wanted her to forget about everything that happened and make love to her like never before.
“Two weeks without you is too long,” I breathed heavily into her ear. My heart raced and the blood coursed through my veins, filling all the right parts. I took several deep breaths, trying to pace myself before I lost it.
“You have no idea,” she whispered, panting shallow breaths as her hands roamed over my body.
My craving for her increased and an animalistic desire consumed me. “I want you so damn bad.” I pressed my hips into hers. Our gazes connected and the room seemed to fade away. All that existed was us. I would make love to her until she couldn’t possibly take any more. My arms trembled, but I ignored the muscle twitches. Nothing was going to stop me from showing Lexi how much I needed her.
“But you need to rest.” She stroked the sides of my hair. Care and concern filled her eyes and I knew she was trying to be considerate. “You’re weak.” Her voice faltered. She was the weaker one.
Lying next to Lexi was heaven, but being naked and on top of her was pure torture. A torture I welcomed. “Baby, I’m never too weak to make love to you.”
A smile spread across her face and her lips landed on mine. She kissed me greedily, like she was drugged on my love. I soaked up every ounce of it, indulging sinfully in everything she had to offer. My hands caressed her hot, silky skin as our bodies moved in a perfect rhythm only we could make. Every stroke, every thrust, connected us on a deeper level. Lexi was the only drug I needed. And I needed her more than she knew — every minute of every day. She gave me the perfect high. We were trapped in each other’s love and I wanted it to stay that way forever.
∑
Chapter 33
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
~Vince Lombardi
“Good morning, baby.” I stroked Lexi’s cheek, soaking in all her beauty. We had slept t
hrough most of the morning, exhausted from everything.
“Damn, it’s awesome to hear those words.” She smiled, burrowing herself against the palm of my hand.
“I’ll make sure to always say them.” I placed a tender kiss on her lips and rested my forehead against hers. I had to be the luckiest man in the world. Lexi didn’t have to be here with me; she chose to. Having her next to me renewed my strength and gave me the confidence I needed to get through this tough time. I took several deep breaths, pushing the thoughts out of my head. The demons were on a vengeful path, determined to take me with them. But I refused to listen to them. They weren’t taking me down this time.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded and grinned. “Being with you makes everything better.”
“Good. Let’s keep it that way.”
She had that right. Grabbing her, I pulled her on top of me, wrapped my arms tightly around her, and planted kiss after kiss on her face. “I’m going to smother you with my love and affection until you’re sick of it.”
“I could never get sick of this.” She giggled and laughed, loving what I was doing to her.
“Good, because I’m not letting you go anywhere.” I gave her a tight squeeze, keeping her confined in my arms.
“I don’t have anywhere else to go, so I guess you’re stuck with me.” Her smile vanished and all happiness seemed to be sucked from her.
“What do you mean?”
Her lips pressed together and she broke eye contact. “My mother told me that if I left to never come back.” Tears seeped from her eyes and spilled into her hair. Her head dropped to my chest and she sobbed quietly. “It just sucks.”
I hated that her mother was so cold-blooded. That she wasn’t willing to accept us being together. I wasn’t sure what she had planned, but one thing was certain: I wasn’t giving Lexi up. I loved her too much. “Don’t cry, baby.” I lifted her head and wiped her tears with my thumbs. “You can stay here with me.”
“Are you sure?” She sniffed.
“Of course I’m sure.” I smiled. There was no other place I wanted her.
“Yeah, but it sucks the way they treat me and the way they treated you. It’s not right, Raven. My entire life, my mother has controlled me. Told me what I can and can’t do. Dictated how I would live my life and my dad lets her do it. It’s not right. I can’t live like that anymore. If my parents don’t accept you, then I’m done with them.”
I hated that the relationship with her parents had come down to this. Growing up without a father was hard, but I had no choice. Lexi was lucky to know her parents, but they were too overbearing and pushed her away. And they had no one to blame but themselves. “I know, Lexi. It’s not right.” I held her gaze. “I wish they weren’t that way. Because you need your parent’s support, as do I.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered across my lips as she rested her head against my shoulder.
“It’s not your fault.” I stroked her hair, wishing I could make things better. It tore at my heart, seeing how much this hurt her. If only her parents would understand and support her decision to be with me.
“My only hope is that my dad stands up for me.”
“Do you think he will?” I pulled back, trying to catch a glimpse of her, but she kept her forehead pressed to me.
“Maybe.” She shrugged.
“Did he say something to you? I want to know. That is…if you want to tell me.”
“Um, well, at first he wasn’t happy about me being with you. Then when he heard you were in the hospital, he told me to be careful.”
“So he was okay with you coming to see me?” I nudged her with my cheek, trying to see her face.
She raised her chin, connecting our gazes. “I think so.”
“That’s good.” I smiled and relief settled across Lexi’s eyes. I was glad her dad was showing some signs of accepting me. It would take away that unneeded stress for both of us. Aside from me, Lexi needed her dad’s support since her mom made it clear she wanted nothing to do with her. From what I could tell, her mom was the one who wore the pants in their marriage. Relationships like that irked me. Fifty-fifty seemed so much better and fair for both sides.
For several minutes, we didn’t speak. I embraced her, wishing I could make everything better, and wishing she could do the same for me. We were both at a low point and with each breath we took, I felt the exchange of our torment. Knowing we were here for each other, like we’d promised, made things ten times better. And with the love burning deep inside of us, I knew it was capable of healing the pain and closing the holes we both had forever.
I knew exactly what we needed to start that healing process. “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you put on the black teddy I bought you?” I cocked a brow. The thought of Lexi wearing black lace had me excited.
“Oh, well, um, I don’t think I can do that.” Her voice faltered and disappointment washed over her face.
“Did you leave them at your house?”
She bit down on her lip and her eyes darted to the side. “Not exactly.”
Based on her reaction, I sensed something bad. “What happened?”
“Well…” she hesitated, and then said, “My mom, um, burned it all.”
“What?” My head jerked back. “What do you mean she burned it?” My muscles tensed and I wanted to hit something. Not Lexi, of course, but something to take the brunt of the anger raging inside of me.
“Yeah, she threw all the bras and panties you bought me in the fireplace.” Lexi rolled off me onto her back. She covered her face with her hands and started to cry again. “I’m sorry. I tried to stop her, but I couldn’t.”
Her mother was one bat-shit crazy person. That woman had no right. I’d bought those things for Lexi, not her. It pissed me off but more than anything, I felt terrible for Lexi. “It’s okay.” I lowered her hands. “It’s not your fault.”
Using the back of her hand, she wiped the wetness from her cheeks. “I hate her,” Lexi gritted through her teeth.
“Lexi.” My voice deepened.
“I’m sorry, but she’s a horrible person. I want nothing to do with her.”
Hate was such a strong word and emotion, but I knew where she was coming from. Her mother had driven her to that point. “I understand.” I gathered her in my arms. “We’ll buy you some more.”
“No,” she protested. “You already spent too much money on me.”
“I like spending money on you. Unless you’d rather free-buff it.”
“What’s that?” She pulled back and sniffed. A questioning gaze appeared.
“You know, go without panties.” I slapped her playfully on the butt. “Makes it easier for me.” I arched a brow, teasing her.
“Raven.” She laughed, shoving me away. “I like wearing panties.”
“Oh, come on, baby. Don’t wear any for me.” I tickled her stomach and nuzzled her neck with my lips. I loved playing around with her. No doubt, I was addicted to Lexi’s flirtatious laugh and sexy body. Our playful morning came to a stop when my phone rang.
I reached over and picked it up from my nightstand. “It’s Coach.” I quickly got up and grabbed my boxers from the floor, putting them on as I answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey, Raven, it’s Coach Anderson.”
“Yes, sir.” I walked to the living room so I could focus on the phone call.
“I’ve had a discussion with the Athletics Advisory Committee, Ethics Board, and Dean of Admissions. They agreed with my decision to expel you from the bowl game and place you on temporary probation until your hearing, which will be on Wednesday. ”
My heart dropped into my stomach and I suddenly felt sick. “I understand.”
“Look here, son, I know it sounds bad, but I explained what happened. I’m not sure whether they will recommend suspension, but I’m going to be honest with you and tell you I’m on your side. I’m going to fight for you, Raven, because I believe in you and I know you’re trying hard to walk that straight
line. But if I do this, I need to know you’re going to keep walking that straight line and make good decisions. I won’t tolerate any more mishaps. You understand?”
“Yes, sir. Of course.” His message was loud and clear. He was giving me another chance, but it wasn’t his decision alone to make. My fate rested in the hands of several committee members.
“We also agreed it would be good if you came to the press conference this evening and made a statement about what happened.” I dropped to the couch and let out a silent sigh. Going on national TV to explain why I wasn’t playing was not my first choice. “By doing that, we feel it will demonstrate remorse and your determination to stay drug-free so you can play for PHU. We want you to be honest and explain what happened — facts only. Our goal is to position you in a positive manner, but show we are serious when it comes to following our guiding principles. I’m sure you understand. PHU doesn’t want to set the precedence that we allow our athletes to abuse alcohol or use drugs. Since you were drugged, this gives you the perfect alibi to show you’re not completely at fault. I think this is crucial for your football career and I hope you agree. Can we count on you being there?”
Coach had some valid points. I needed to make a statement and inform my fans and the pro teams I wasn’t a druggy. I had made a mistake, got drunk, partied with the wrong crowd, and now I was paying for it. As much as it sucked admitting all of that, I had to do it. Something told me if I did, PHU would be more willing to give me another chance.
“Not a problem. I can be there.” I stood and straightened, feeling some of the weight lift from my shoulders.
“Perfect. The press conference is at seven p.m. tonight. I’ll make sure your press conference passes are at the athletics office. If you want to consultant with your attorney, feel free to do so.”
A Different Side (University Park #4) Page 40