Estranged
Page 24
Kalei couldn’t stand how stupid this man was. She screamed, “What the fuck kind of fairytale are you living in, Marley? Running around playing hero isn’t going to change jack shit. It’s all pointless. Can’t you see that? Putting an end to Xamic is not going to change the fact that our city is at the mercy of Estranged, and it is just a matter of time until every one of you has nails to match mine.” Marley opened his mouth to talk, but she cut him off. “Shut the fuck up and go home, Marley. Enjoy this time with your family while you’ve still got them, because one of these nights, hell is going to break open and we’re all going to be swept in.”
Marley glared back at her, all the sympathy gone from his eyes, his own fists clenching and unclenching. Finally, he said, “Fine, I’ll leave you to your little Estranged world of self-pity and hellfire. But I know you still care about Celan. It’s time you woke up and figured out that becoming Estranged didn’t change that. As far as I’m concerned, you are still a cop, and you have been given an opportunity to do something. Remember all those rules you broke to bust into Estranged crime scenes? Well, guess what? No more rules, no more danger. You have the freedom to step in and make a difference, Kalei. You’re right; if SWORDE decides to open their gates tomorrow and go nuts, I can’t stop them. If Tusic decides they want to start going door to door demanding a Safety Tax, I might as well empty my bank and pray they’ll feed me. I’m not Estranged. You’re right Kalei, I don’t know anything. I’m Untouched, and I can’t do jack shit against any of them. But you can. So this is on you.” He turned to leave.
“Fuck you, Marley. I’m not the only Estranged in this city. You cops have SWORDE to do your dirty work, and I’m out of that picture.”
Marley turned back and yelled, “You don’t get it! I don’t trust SWORDE. I don’t know who they are. I don’t know what they do behind that gate. For all I know, they’re going in and getting high with the culprits, laughing at all us weak little folk huddled outside. I don’t know SWORDE, Kalei, but I know you. And right now, you’re the only one I trust to help me protect my son.”
Kalei glared at him, unable to find a retort, but unwilling to let go of her anger. She was still pissed as hell and convinced that his head was in the clouds.
Marley straightened his jacket, gave her one last glare, then walked over to the ladder. When he reached it, he turned and tossed something to Kalei. She caught it without taking her eyes off him.
He said, “When you get my call, you’d better damn well be ready to answer.”
Marley didn’t stick around for a response; he descended the ladder.
When she heard his feet hit the pavement, she looked down at the item in her hands. It was a small, simple flip phone with just enough buttons to get the job done. She put it in her pocket and sat back down, pulling her legs up to her chest, and resting her head against her knees.
Her anger toward Marley turned into a hatred of herself. She shouldn’t have attacked him like that. She shouldn’t have threatened his kid and called him a moron... Dammit, Kalei. He’s your friend. He’s just trying to keep his family safe, which is more than you’ve ever managed. Can’t you understand where he’s coming from?
She had to admit, she could understand. But that understanding turned sour in her gut and sharpened the pain of her loss. Whether Marley wanted to admit it or not, she was forever alone now. She would never have a family again. The people of Celan could never fill that void.
Her grief and guilt nested in her heart and dug deeper and deeper until the hole in her chest became a festering sore. All she wanted was to take a knife and carve out that pain at its source. Or blow it out with a gun, or blow her brains out, or throw herself off the roof—anything to just put an end to it all. But even as she thought these things, Kalei’s limbs turned to lead and all motivation fled her. So she just sat there with her back against the cold, brick wall.
She sat like that for a while, tilting her head to stare at her hands, to stare at the ladder, to stare at the city. As she sat there on that familiar roof, she could almost hear Fenn’s voice trying to cut through her sorrow and loneliness. But thinking of him only added to the already unbearable pain.
The clouds disappeared behind the Alundai Mountains, the stars came out and spelled their sparse constellations in the sky, but still she sat there. There was nowhere for her to go. What else could she do? So she swam through her world of memories and tried to pretend the present didn’t exist.
The sun had made its trip across the sky several times before the ladder rattled and gave a soft klang. Someone was climbing up to the roof.
Kalei’s heart leapt in erratic joy, but she stuffed the emotion away. Her heart might have given in to hope, but her head knew better. Fenn wasn’t coming this time.
So she waited.
A woman’s face soon cleared the roof, and Kalei recognized it as Samantha, the guard from Landen’s party. Kalei would have thought seeing Fenn was more likely.
Kalei gruffly demanded, “What do you want?” Her voice cracked from so many hours of disuse.
The blonde stepped onto the roof, brushed herself off, and said with a smile, “Found you!”
Kalei narrowed her eyes. “How and why?”
Samantha laughed. “You forget who I work for.”
“Fine. So you’re here to take me back to Landen. What the fuck could he want with me anymore?”
Samantha laughed again, a light, hearty laugh this time. “I’m not here to take you back, sweetie. Don’t worry about it. This will be over quick, I promise.” Samantha pulled out a gun and shot Kalei twice in the chest.
The force of the bullets at point-blank range felt like two semi-trucks hitting Kalei in quick succession, slamming her into the wall she sat against. Then the weight abruptly disappeared and Kalei pitched forward onto her hands and knees. She could feel her left lung filling with blood while pain and adrenaline blossomed through her chest.
This was exactly what she had wanted just a minute ago, and Samantha had kindly delivered it. But the sharp succession of sensations had woken up every cell in her body, and suddenly, her world came through crystal clear. She could hear the blood rattling in her throat with dizzying clarity, she could feel every sharp angle of every pebble beneath her outstretched hands, she could smell every note of car exhaust and sea salt as it was carried by the softest gust of wind. And with that lucidity, she faced the reality of leaving this world, and she knew, with resolute certainty, she wasn’t ready yet. She couldn’t leave Fenn alone. She couldn’t see him, true, but she couldn’t leave him either.
She heard the pebbles crunch beneath Samantha’s feet as the woman approached.
Kalei wheezed, “You know that won’t kill me.”
The woman cheerfully responded, “I know.” Then she took the last few steps between them, holstering her gun as she took off a glove. “But it makes you far more manageable.” Samantha grabbed Kalei by the hair and pulled her head back. Samantha’s cheeks were all smiles, but her eyes were cold and dead.
Kalei saw Samantha’s other hand moving toward her out of the corner of her eye, but before the blonde could do anything, Kalei slammed an uppercut to into the woman’s gut. Samantha took a step back and doubled over, loosening her grip on Kalei’s hair. Kalei ripped her head free and followed up with a swift left hook to the cheek, sending Samantha to the ground.
Now that she was free, Kalei started to climb to her feet. But before she could get so much as a foot under herself, she was brought back down by a fierce coughing fit. She hacked and wheezed and spit out small puddles of blood as she clutched at the throbbing, bleeding holes in her chest.
Samantha managed to get up during Kalei’s spasm, and came in for a second try.
Kalei spit out a final globule of blood and recovered in time to swiftly kick the blonde’s feet out from under her. As the woman hit the ground a second time, Kalei climbed on top, her knees pinning the Samantha’s arms to the roof, Kalei’s hands around the woman’s neck.
&nb
sp; Samantha brought her own knee up and slammed it into the exit wounds on Kalei’s back. The bullet holes released fresh pain and blood as Kalei cried out and Samantha used the distraction to roll her off. The woman tried to use the momentum to assert a position on top of Kalei, but Kalei caught her leg before it could crush down on her, and rolled her off again. Kalei tried to climb back on top, but Samantha was ready for her this time, and they rolled one more time before Samantha grabbed Kalei’s shirt and the two women rolled off the roof.
As they fell, Kalei wrenched Samantha’s hands free and gave her a hard shove. The action was instinctual; Samantha was clawing at Kalei and stabbing at her with her darkness and Kalei knew that whatever Samantha was trying to do wasn’t good, but the shove ended up working in Samantha’s favor. Samantha landed in a dumpster, while Kalei fell feet first into the concrete. Her legs and hips took most of the impact before the rest of her body followed, crashing flat onto her back and slamming her head into a pile of discarded newspaper. She heard snapping and cracking and crunching, but by the time the world stopped moving, she couldn’t feel a thing. Kalei looked up at the blue sky, stunned.
Slowly, she became aware of someone approaching. She tried to get up; she told her legs to move, but they didn’t. She looked down at her body, screaming at it to run, and discovered that everything from her stomach down no longer responded to her commands. She lay back again as Samantha approached from behind. She blinked a few times, watching Samantha pull off a glove and reach a hand down to Kalei’s exposed neck. Kalei grabbed her wrist, trying to push it back, but she was unable to stop her. Samantha’s hand closed around her windpipe.
Samantha’s hand didn’t squeeze. Instead, Kalei felt Samantha’s darkness plunge into her, sharp and pointed as a blade. Kalei instinctively brought up her own darkness in defense, repelling the attack with a solid wall, but when the darkness collided with her own, Kalei heard herself cry out in pain.
Samantha pulled her darkness back, prepping for a second blow, but Kalei regained her bearings. She slammed her wall of darkness into Samantha’s blade, pushing the foreign darkness out of her body. Then Kalei took a page out of Samantha’s book, forming her darkness into a dagger of her own. Behind it, she put all the weight of every piece of darkness she had, every bit of anger and remorse and pain and determination – and she let loose. The dagger shot up Samantha’s arm, blasted through Samantha’s defenses, and pierced straight through her heart.
Something within Samantha snapped.
Then everything reversed. Samantha’s body went slack and all of her darkness rushed into Kalei’s as though it was a raging river flowing downstream. Kalei tried to let go of Samantha’s hand, but the muscles in her arm had seized and didn’t obey her orders to let go. Kalei switched to internal tactics instead, trying to fend off the oncoming torrent, but there was no stopping it. It was like she stood in front of a broken dam, trying to stop the oncoming flood with her two small hands.
The darkness swept over her, bringing with it a mixture of ecstasy and agony that was just... overwhelming would be an understatement. Kalei couldn’t take it. She screamed. Visions flashed into her mind. Snippets. A gun shooting Kalei– a phone ringing– Landen’s mansion exploding– someone’s mother cooking breakfast in the kitchen– Flash after flash kept coming, never ceasing. The pain, the ecstasy, the images, the emotions, all of it kept coming...
And Kalei kept screaming.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Lost
It felt like an eternity. Her mind and body torn between two extremes of sensation, pain, and ecstasy waging war for her soul. The darkness churned like a storm around her, beating her down with its devastating force. She reached out to it, she tried to regain control, but it was... different. It slipped through her fingers; it moved through her in odd, undulating waves. And in those waves it brought visions – no, memories – memories that were not her own. Falling off a bike and scraping her knee, arguing with a woman who wasn’t her mother – but she remembered her as “Mother.” It was her mother. But it wasn’t Kalei’s mother – graduating school, going into the military... tactical training... discharge...funerals... fighting – a black-nailed hand reaching for her arm...
“Kalei. Listen to me.” Kalei felt the voice before she heard it. Another darkness entered the storm, steering through her own like a boat through fog. Somehow, the new darkness maintained its shape. Her own darkness pulled and tore at it, but the foreign visitor repelled the attacks and continued its journey unscathed. Then the new entity turned the tide, reaching out into the storm like a gentle hand, corralling her unruly darkness and pulling it back to her core.
As it worked, it spoke to Kalei in a male voice, soft and weary with age. The notes of it were deep, soothing, and familiar as it said, “You need to control the darkness. Kalei.”
She yelled back, “I can’t!”
“Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t!” She wasn’t sure if she was shouting out loud, or if all sounds were captured within that dark space. “There is no way for me to grab it. There is no way for me to push it or pull it or—”
“Your darkness has changed. Samantha’s darkness has diluted it and turned it into something new. It behaves differently now, that is all. You have to learn—”
“I can’t!” Kalei felt herself bawling at the futility of it all.
“Stop trying to grab it.”
This voice was being ridiculous. First it told her to pull it back, then it told her not to. Her emotions spun through confusion, futility, fear, and finally settled on fury. “How the hell can I pull it back without grabbing it?”
“Scoop it.”
“What?”
The voice remained calm and even. “If grabbing it isn’t working, then try something else.”
“I can’t—”
“Scoop it.”
By now, this other darkness had corralled most of her own into a pool. Kalei could breathe again. Not easily, but she could breathe. Her mind slowly began to clear as well. She thought about what he said, and she decided the voice wasn’t going to relent until she tried. So, instead of reaching down to the darkness with an open hand, she closed her fingers and scooped. The darkness quivered oddly at her touch. For a second, she thought it was going to slip away from her again, but it didn’t. As she pulled it closer within herself, it obeyed.
“Now, take control of your darkness.”
Kalei reached out to do as he said, but when her fingers brushed against the heavy mass of her darkness, she stopped. “There’s too much. I can’t handle all of this.”
“Yes, you can.”
Her rage returned. “And who are you to tell me what I can and can’t handle!”
The voice calmly responded, “I’m your grandfather. I know you can handle it.”
“What?”
“I know you, Kalei, and I know the darkness. Now stop whining and take control.”
Her thoughts crashed and jumbled in confusion. She tried to put together what he was saying.
“Take your darkness, Kalei!” The voice wasn’t angry, but it was stern and uncompromising.
The other entity started to withdraw. Her own darkness began falling loose of its hold; it started to spill out everywhere. “No! Don’t!”
“Take it.”
She scrambled to catch it all, to scoop it all in, to put it back under her control. There was so much, too much. She continued to scoop, she continued to pull it in. Any minute now, she was going to exceed her capacity and explode. She could feel her heart straining with too much darkness. Every new addition felt like it would be her last, and still she scooped and scooped, a perpetual repetition she thought would never end.
And then she had it. There was nothing left to scoop. The screaming in her body retreated, and she could breathe freely again. Kalei let out a mental sigh of relief. As she took another breath, she could feel tears of joy building in her eyes. She hadn’t thought she was capable of feeling joy anymore, but there it wa
s.
She slowly became aware of the cold cement beneath her. She could feel warm sunlight bearing down on her skin. She could hear the rustle of clothes nearby. A shoe scuffed against pavement.
But her face felt cool as something blocked the sun from her eyes. She felt a hand pull away from her arm, and the shadow retreated, allowing the sunlight to find her face as well.
Kalei slowly opened her eyes, then immediately regretted it as the bright light stabbed at her retinas. She brought her hand up to shield her vision, squinting and blinking rapidly until she could finally see her surroundings.
She felt a hand releasing her arm as a tiny bit of foreign darkness retreated into it. She looked over, and on her right, kneeling beside her with his stoic, unreadable expression, was Terin.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Remembering
“Wait...Are you...?” Kalei sat up. She looked at her surroundings and found that she was still in the alley with the dumpster. Walker stood about ten feet off behind Terin, watching her carefully with crossed arms. Samantha’s body lay beside her. Kalei’s thoughts were jumbled. It was like two and two floated before her eyes, but her brain kept fumbling the four. “Did I...?”
Terin stood up. “Can I trust you?”
Kalei blinked, then squinted at him. “What?”
“You know what I did to my daughter. Your mother. You know what Josh nearly did to his mother. Can I trust you to stay away from Fenn and the children?”
His words sent her thoughts clicking back into order with sobering clarity. “Yes.” The reality of what would happen if she found Fenn, the memory of what happened to her parents – for the first time in her life, Kalei was firmly resolved to never see Fenn again. Her crushed heart was a small price to pay for his life.
Still, “You know what I did to my daughter”... Was this some weird dream? Could he really be...?
Terin turned and walked toward the alley entrance as he said, “Let’s go.”