The Elementals

by Thorne, Annalynne

  It was another first, for she had no memory of being taken care of the way he was taking care of her then. She felt comforted, cared for, and she allowed herself to enter the realm of dreams. Unfortunately, they were void of any visions pertaining to what would come of her.

  * * * * *

  Terra's head pounded. She was reminded of bongo drums, a stupid repetition like one would hear in coffee house's poetry nights. Her eyes fluttered in attempt to clear the fuzziness that was what looked to be a ceiling. She moved, and she realized that every bit of her was as sore as it was the night before.

  The night before... She had defeated Hadrian. After all those years running, hiding, she killed him on her own. But when she thought of the cost that it took, it barely seemed worth it.

  Something warm pushed something tiny into her palm. She felt it with her fingers and deciphered the pill. The same warm hands clutched her upper arms, aiding her to a sitting position.

  The boy, whose name stayed stuck on the tip of her tongue, was the tall lanky boy that was a surrogate nurse for Judy. He was part of the inner Kin, only... He looked too young.

  With uncontrollable trembling she slipped his glasses off, observing his eyes better and closer. They were a tempest gray, bordering on silver. His hair was redder than she realized, a dark copper, the fringe side sweeping the brow. She could smell the cologne, but it was less than it was when Era smelled it, more desirable. His skin glowed though freckles dotted over the bridge of his nose, his lips smooth, painted perfectly pink.

  "You're beautiful," she exhaled.

  He blushed crimson. "Um, uh, thanks." He dipped his head. "So you do speak. I was afraid that you'd hit your head, lost your voice."

  "I'm sorry," Terra said. It was her turn to be embarrassed. "I forgot your name."

  "Erick McAlastar."

  "Erick. That's right."

  "I know," he smiled. It was in a friendly way, a kind that one would see from an eager-to-please puppy, but it wasn't so eager-to-please that it had weakened him. She could tell from those two words that he had backbone; he was comfortable with speaking his mind.

  It was not a vision, but Bryne's face darted in front of her. The sharp feather points on his chin and cheeks, the high cheekbones and striking eyes. An ache grew within in but she blinked once, hard, and he was gone. That ache, it came close to swallowing her whole. She touched the hole in her chest, but nothing could hold it together or fill it.

  "Terra, are you alright?"

  "I'm... Okay." Okay was a pathetic word to use, but there was nothing else to describe what she was feeling. It was far too great.

  He went to touch her shoulder, but he pulled back, hesitant. "I'm... Sorry for your loss," he said sincerely.

  "You know?"

  "Judy told me. I can't say I know what you're going through..."

  "Good."

  He was taken aback by that, and scooted from her, putting some space between them.

  "Sorry," she said instantly. "I'm..." There were not words for it, for how sorry she was for herself and her careless words. They were poison.

  "Yeah," he nodded, as if no explanation was necessary. "I can't see anything wrong with you, you are in full good health."

  She examined him from a distance, though he was apparently doing his examination of her much closer. "You're a Healer? You're so... Young."

  "I studied a lot," he answered cheekily. It would have been a perfect place to wink, but he didn't. "You may go see Judy if you like. Do you need help standing or walking?"

  She wasn't sure, but she shook her head anyway, and with a little difficulty, Erick's hand out and ready to catch her, she stood. It felt odd to walk, as though she should have been floating instead. Like a doe with its first steps, she took hers, beginning again, a new day.

  The room was dark, a couple of sheets pinned above the only window there was, to block out the light. She could see through the worn threads that there was sunlight outside, a bright and likely cloudless day. It made her want to peer out, but she knew better. The sun would most certainly hurt her eyes, there was a reason he put those sheets there, and when she thought more about it, she found that she probably didn't want to see the sun or blue sky. How could the world take on such a cheery look when her family had died? It should have been mourning for its defenders, its elements in human form. It was disrespectful. No, she did not want to see.

  Terra walked forward, making her way to Judy's room. It was darker than the rest of the studio apartment, but she was able to see as well as she would have in a fairly lit room. After all, hadn't she turned into Superman? No, not even Superman had her powers. Between her and the illusionary man, she would be able to take him down with little to no problem. To a stranger it sounded egotistical, but it wasn't. She wished for death the way many would wish for life. She wished the comic book hero would kill her, and that was the stupidest fantasy anyone had possibly imagined.

  "It is done," the raspy voice asked from the far end of the room, in the darkest part.

  "Yes."

  "You have made us all proud. Especially, your family, my grandson."

  She could feel the smile, the pride rolling off of her. It made her sick, the room spinning in it. "I know."

  "You saw them." It wasn't a question.

  "They're happy."

  "That's not my concern, dear; I know that they're happy. My concern is of you, how you are taking this."

  Inhaling, Terra sputtered, the tears fresh. There was a storm, and the lake overfilled. How she wished it would drown her! "Can I not die? I tried! I tried to stay in that fire! Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

  "Oh, dear, yes, you can die. I promise you, but it cannot be caused by any of the elements. Fire cannot burn you, water cannot drown you, air cannot abandon you, and earth cannot shake you. You are quite indestructible, but you will die one day. Old age perhaps or some other mode none of us can foresee."

  It was not as bad as she had thought, but it wasn't the news she had hoped for. What she hoped for, she was uncertain. Many scenes of suicide came to her, but each one was unlikely as the last. Every one of them had a problem, and most of them involved the Earth. A simple hanging would not do, for the fibers would have come from the Earth in some way or another, and she knew it would break on her rather than do the job.

  "It is over," Judy said. "Live your life and be happy."

  "You lost your grandson, how can you tell me to be happy now?" Terra replied as she sobbed.

  "He's gone. He cannot live. But you can and he wouldn't want it any other way." Becoming pensive she laid still. Then Judy said, “Erick is a fantastic Healer, there's none better than him. You could learn a lot if you allow him to train you.”

  This startled her. “You mean... Be a Healer in the Kin?”

  Judy wagged a long bony finger at her like any adult would that was scolding a child. “You are too focused on death. At taking your own. Use the life you do not want to save others who do.”

  It was logical, tempting, and Terra could see herself, in a true vision, helping others, a child. He must have been five, and he had Bryne's eyes. He hugged her, a green paste smudged on his forearm. Terra liked that vision.

  Chapter Twenty - Six

  In Recovery

  Recover, yes, the deep gashes of wounds that she swore everyone saw, would heal not in time but in acceptance and knowledge. Accepting that they were gone and knowing that one day she would join them, but in her own time, not by her own hand.

  Although Erick was surprised by her request to learn under him as a Healer apprentice, he was more than happy, he was flattered. It seemed wrong somehow, but she wasn't up to being enlightened as to why and was thankful her intuition and visions gave her a break then. Marissa was right about what she said when she was little; some things were not meant to be known.

  Terra packed her sisters and Bryne's belongings into suitcases. Since the fire, there was not much to pack, and anything that belonged to them that were not the gemstones, were
brand new. Era had lost the collection of paintings and that was a shame, for she really liked many of them.

  It was surreal, and yet she couldn't help but be angry. She heard of the five (or was it six) signs of going through grief, and if those were true, she was going through them fast, if not skipping some steps. In the end, did it matter? She would have to move on if she did or did not go through each of the steps to recovery.

  Recovering... She was damaged, not physically, but emotionally. It was difficult enough to recover from a single loved one dying. How did someone get over three in one go? "Get over" was the wrong way to put it, because there was no way in however long she lived, that she would get over losing them. Recover, yes, the deep gashes of wounds that she swore everyone saw, would heal not in time but in acceptance and knowledge. Accepting that they were gone and knowing that one day she would join them, but in her own time, not by her own hand.

  She latched the suitcases filled with their clothes. She used Air's power to hover them to the door, getting ready to donate them. Yesterday she had made the call to a local center to pick them up. Normally it would be one more thing to keep her busy, but she wanted them gone and that night, was the night of their funeral.

  The Kin flitted in and out, different ones giving unheard condolences, others giving her food, and some both. It was very human but it was traditional, and if she recalled their history correctly, it steamed from them. It was better, not having the privacy, it gave her the illusion that she wasn't so alone. The busy nature came as a blur and despite the introduction of names, and the reintroducing, she didn't comprehend them and she didn't care to. Her main focus, was burying the bodies.

  The high wall fence in the backyard gave them the needed concealment from any nosy neighbors. It was supposedly a construction accident, and she guessed from drunken constructionists. She had a feeling for what they were doing, would be illegal, but their kind was built to be unknown. Once buried, Elves deteriorated faster, not even their bones were left, turned to dust to give back to the Earth. Even if someone someday happened to dig up their yard, they would never be found, as if they were never there. In respect, it was a depressing thought.

  The breeze softly blew, the grass waving like a green sea. As she had predicted earlier that day, there was not a cloud in the sky. She let her hair down, allowing it to blow over and stick to her wet cheeks. It hid her from the others better than if she would have pulled it back, and that was the point.

  Lined up on the ground were Era, Marissa, and Bryne. Their eyes were closed and they looked peaceful. Their coloring was matched by the makeup Terra gave Erick. She was thankful that she didn't have to do it herself and that he had been so cooperating and helpful. He'd been an angel; she owed him so much.

  "Thank you."

  He finally put a hand on her shoulder, gently squeezing with the intention of giving her comfort. "I'll wait inside while you say your goodbyes in private."

  Quickly she placed her hand on top of his. "Please, stay?"

  "If that's what you prefer." He was confused.

  "I... I like it when you're here. It helps."

  "Anything for you." He snapped his mouth closed, as if he had said too much, but she thought he should have said more, but in reality, now was really not the time for that. Later, she would explore whatever she felt between them, an invisible magnet that drew them to each other, an unspoken bond that she couldn't explain if she wanted to. It was the worst time, however, for she wasn't ready to move on from the tragedy that struck her life. From Bryne.

  In turn Terra knelt by each of them. She gave her goodbye and her closure, each personal and meaningful. Each from the bottom of what felt like her frozen heart.

  She touched Marissa's cheek. In preparation, the coldness of it didn't shock her.

  She slipped off the stone, kissed the Opal and laid it under her folded palms. "My little sister," she croaked. "Issa, you were always more beautiful, more kind, more... Everything that I wasn't. Aunt Gwen has said that your emotions put you at a child's level, but it set you ahead of us in so many ways. You were able to see the beauty in things that we had missed, the goodness in people that didn't seem all that good.

  "I love you. I miss you." She kissed her forehead.

  When she was next to Era she brushed her silvery white hair from her shoulder. It splayed over the grass, giving her the look that she was a fallen angel. As beautiful as she was, it was not too hard to believe.

  "You were no less of a sister to me than Marissa was. You respected me being the leader from the very beginning, but I think you were the true leader. I couldn't always help Marissa, I couldn't give her what seemed so easy for you. I'm grateful that you could. I... I've been so worried about this family that it clouded my judgment and putting you all first. I wanted this over with and I wish I could have all that time back. I would spend more with you and Marissa.” She took off the necklace and like she did with Marissa, she placed it under her hands, securing the Green Aventurine.

  Over her head she took off the last of her family's stones. In her clenched hand she held the Carnelian. It was ungraceful the way she plopped next to Bryne, but at the look of his uncharacteristic pacific expression, she lost all feeling in her legs. He should have been standing there, kissing her or bothering her, anything other than lying motionless the way he was. Her knees throbbed but she didn't pay any mind, not taking her eyes off of him. She wanted to see his eyes, the lovely emerald that looped the pitch black pupils, the Earthy brown, the way they saw into her, the fire that erupted from them when he was angry.

  Slowly, Terra placed her hand in Bryne’s. It was too cold, too stiff. The tears she kept at bay broke the dam then. Something inside of her broke, the emotion she controlled, all of the things that she kept inside of her. That overflowing lake became an ocean, and she crumpled beside him, gasps and her muffled screams in his shoulder.

  Her sisters, Bryne. How unfair it all was, for them to leave her behind. How angry she was that they knew and they never told her! There had to be another way, and one day, when her overactive and contemplating mind figured it out, she would hate herself all the more. Yet, what was done was done, and nothing could ever take it back. That was the worst punishment of all. She couldn't change it, she would forever have to live with "could haves," and "maybes," and settle with the ending they had, and the one that wouldn't happen for her.

  A hand gripped her shoulder, pulling her back, away from Bryne. Through her watery gaze, she saw Erick for a split second before he enveloped her in his arms. The warmth there was incredible, but it was unlike the sweltering heat that she got from Bryne. It felt oddly and securely right, and that hurt as well, but It would be the last time that she would compare those two.

  His neckline was sopped from her streaming tears, the back of his fitted black t-shirt bunched in her fists. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." She didn't know who she was speaking to, Erick for ruining his shirt or for everything else that she was sorry for. She would spend the rest of her life trying to forgive herself for her mistakes and the chances that she undoubtedly missed.

  Terra was recovering though. She broke, that was one of those stupid steps. She would heal, gradually but certainly she would.

  With his fingers he combed through her wild and tangled hair, his attempts to hush her, to soothe her. He did a wonderful job of it. "It'll be okay, Terra. You're not alone," he whispered just louder than her weeping.

  He was right, of course. She wasn't... She wasn't alone. She had him, Erick.

  When he figured that she was calmed, he hooked his arm under hers and lifted her to her feet. She wiped off her backside, and hands on her thighs and took a deep breath. "I'm okay," Terra reassured him.

  She stood in front of the three of them, speaking to their void bodies but trusting that their spirits were there listening. “I'm sorry to all of you. I'll always feel like there's something more I should've done. Found a way to keep us all together. I'm sorry for not spending more time with you,
for not being more part of the family mentally – without the worry. I'm sorry for many things. These stones won't give you back your life, but they were yours, not mine, and if I could, I'd give back your powers too. I know you forgive me, you told me,” she smiled, her fingers linking with Erick's.

  Epilogue

  The sunshine daisy in the brightly lit windowsill waved from the breeze sweeping through the cracks to the small room. The wallpaper was green with yellow aliens, yellow spaceships zooming overhead. The floor was an un - matching beige giving it the appearance that someone got sick all over it. The one light above was low, flickering unappetizing.

  A little boy with tousled blond hair, dark hazel eyes, emerald encircling the pupils, just like Bryne's. He was a funny boy, for such a bad rash on his arm he was smiling and laughing. Just as he was in her vision years ago, she doubted him and her abilities and she never would again.

  Terra contemplated more than once how Marissa could hope that her visions wouldn't come true, as if they hadn't any other time. As if it could be any other way... Now she knew. It was ironically... human.

  Expertly, Terra daubed the green paste on the red blotches. She took a white patch and taped it over it. "Better," she asked with a grin.

  He nodded enthusiastically, and she worried that he'd cause head injury.

  "Thank you so much," he said in his thick English accent. "It feels loads better!"

  "Then I've done my job."

  The boy hopped from his bed and to the floor, his mother giving his back a pat as he sprinted out to play. She thanked them too, shaking each of their hands.

  It had been nine years since the death of Terra's sisters and her love, Bryne, and of course the defeat of Hadrian. It had been seven years since the death of Bryne's grandmother, Judy Spark. She was buried next to her son in the make-shift graveyard in the back of the studio apartment, in the tiny backyard.