by Yuli Ban
I flicked her ear. She trembled and arched her back. Then she plunged those stinky elf fingers down her crotch and beat her clit. I wanted to tell her, ‘Boys beat off, you twiddle!’ but watching her abuse herself like that tickled my racist anti-elf ass.
Tatiana said, “That’s an erogenous zone for her.” She was also playing with herself, but I didn’t think she had her heart in it from how weakly she was going at it. Or maybe watching Ana and Olga smack themselves made me misunderestimate her.
Olga started up where Ana left off, brushing her hair aside and dropping her mouth around my dick. When I saw her doing that, I looked again at Ana and noticed a few white dribbles leaking from her lips— however, she didn’t look like she was holding anything in her mouth. That was quite the load, too. She could have drowned if it went down the wrong way.
Once I paid more attention to Olga, I pulled her back by her hair and said, “No, you elf! Pussy! Pussaaaaaay!” Not my proudest moment. I still cringe thinking about it.
But she obeyed and wiggled out of her latex. Part of me regretted making her get out of them. Geez, literally every fold of her ass was visible in those things. What, did they stick her in a vat of liquid latex and let it harden around her legs? Because they should’ve. Friggin’ elf. How she managed to get out of those things, I don’t know because they were basically fused to her skin. And while her ass wasn’t as pillowy as Ana’s, her pussy looked positively fluffy. Now that was what I wanted to call a vagina or vulva or whatever the right word was supposed to be that day. As long as I didn’t cum into her friggin’ urethra, it was a pussy to me, dammit. And just like Ana, she was wet but not as wet. She needed the touch of El Sexorcisto.
Where did that come from?
Since I didn’t get the chance with Ana, I didn’t know how tight she was in comparison but damn me if Elf wasn’t looking pretty tight. Elf also grabbed my cock just as tenderly as Ana, but since Elf was a damn dirty elf, I wanted to slap Elf’s elf away and verbally abuse Elf while elfing Elf in the elf. And you know what?
I grabbed her and pinned her down and we both filled each other’s mouths with tongue. God damn it, I hated elves. I needed that elf in me. I wanted elf for years. YEARS.
I shouted, “Goddamn she-elf,” and rubbed my cheek. “All you elves are worthless knife-eared bastards who want to fuck trees. Damn elf!” I went back down and she sprawled out for me. Ana—I’m guessing it was her since Maria was still waiting for me— smacked my ass, letting a nice wet SLAP echo through the cave.
Unfortunately, that damn molly-ass bitch made me cum and I blew my load all over Olga’s elven face right as her clit-twiddling reached a fever pitch. She panted and so did I, and I was only half glad that I denied an elf my seed.
“From last time, right?” I cried. “Please tell me it’s 15 seconds longer!” Only one way to find out. As I rolled off of Olga, I tackled the giggly Tatiana and lifted her into my arms. I carried her over to the bed and tossed her down, my leg accidentally hitting Maria’s face. I didn’t even say sorry, because all I needed was my cock in someone’s pussy.
You want to know how I screwed it up? I did anal. I was so careless, I punctured right through her short-short jeans and fishnet stockings and went straight into her unprepared asshole. At first, I thought she was just ultra-tight and that made me hit it so hard that I couldn’t help but immediately cum ribbons in her.
The whole time, she was groaning and trying to convince herself that it felt good, but that was probably the weakest fuck of the night. But hey, since it’s a video game, I didn’t have to wash up at least. Now leveling up, on the other hand…
I could feel the tears running down my face. A thirty-second long climax? No, not even that— it had to be forty-five seconds. No, longer— a normal climax was about ten to fifteen seconds, so this was going to be a whole minute of raw electric bliss. It didn’t occur to me that I hadn’t remembered the last two times, but that was beside the point.
I wasn’t going to fail this time, dammit. I saw Maria sitting on her shins, looking sad as if she was being ignored from all the festivities.
“Little man,” she said. “Aren’tcha going to include me any time soon? Am I not good enough?”
She sounded a bit like a cat mewling there. So I went full Hulk and stepped towards her.
“I’m not a little man! I’m a big one! Look!” I waved her dick at her. “Does this look little to you?!”
She bit her lip. “I’m a tactile person, not a visual one…”
And she fell forward, reaching for my dick. She gave it a few squeezes and felt the throbbing— in real life, it would have started hurting by this point, but I was getting more pumped up. With my ‘stamina’ bar refilled, I grabbed her mushy ass and noticed finally that she had the best one of the night. Not only the best ass but the fluffiest pussy and biggest breasts. I dropped my face into her cleavage and motorboated the tits out of them.
She unzipped her bustier— strange how such a simple action and sound could bring you up, because I almost came right there.
“Here, let me help you with that.”
Once she pulled off her bustier, my motorboating was no longer impeded and I pounded her chest with my face.
Before I knew what was happening, no more titties. Just back. She undid her little miniskirt and twisted around in record time and exposed that tight marshmallow of a butthole of hers, but I knew where she wanted this god. So I tickled her asscheeks with the head, scribbling my initials poorly with my pre-cum, and fell. She lowered herself further, and I slid riiiight in.
With every thrust, I leveled up. I went to eleven.
Each time, my El Sexorcisto number got higher and higher until I was sure it said that I was going to have an hour-long orgasm.
Maria’s legs trembled and her tail lashed. I had to try to avoid this one, but that made it fun. I dug my fingers into her meaty waist and kept pumping myself in. That velvety pussy was electric. Just messed up me and my insides.
And my cock swelled up once more. I was cumming! I could count the seconds.
She was screaming out, “Yes! Yes! Oh my god yes!” over and over in that same order at an ever-increasing rate. There was no chance she was going to leave this cave without being forever changed. I’d satisfy her.
I grabbed her stomach, the spasms exploding again, and pulled back.
Her pussy squeezed my cock hard, amplifying the climax to levels you would not believe. I sounded like a cartoon character, going, “Whoooohoooooo!” and let her fall. She landed on her feet but dropped tenderly onto her side, that big wide grin looking natural on a face I was unused to seeing smile. She shook, hands limp, and drooled. She kept saying something like ‘Gibb more, gibb more.’ But, well, I wasn’t listening anymore.
No.
So there I stood, head tilted back, hair falling over my face, with the climax still going on. I was all out of cum, but the spasms were still ripping away. A peace and serenity unlike any ever felt by mortals fell upon me. In that moment, I was truth. I was God. I was an entity of such raw power and capability that I felt I could’ve dragged the moon out of the sky. And who knows, in this game, maybe I could’ve.
But that wasn’t it.
I had unlocked all five temples. I had gone Super Saiyan. I had reached Nirvana. I had attained Enlightenment. This was my baptism and now began the greatest of all time.
And the words appeared in my face.
I, Godfucker…
I swept my hair back and grabbed all four girls, carrying them out of the cave on my arms. They hung on: Ana wrapped her tail around my chest while Maria’s gripped my neck. I cocked my head back ever so slightly and bolted into the night. My body threw down a pure, holy white glow into the night.
You ever walk at five hundred miles an hour? I did. The girls were naked— except Tatiana, since she had a hole in the back of her shorts— and the moon and I glinted off their sweaty skin. As I walked at near-supersonic speeds, my eyes saw over the curvature of the hori
zon and spotted a concentration of Nazi bikers and some other group. Men in black suits, hidden behind dark fedoras and panama hats. Without squinting my eyes, I focused in and saw that they wore the nametags of the Hurricane Corporation.
Just then, I heard rumbling upon the road. A few dozen miles away, bikers charged our way on superbikes decorated with skulls and bones. I read their minds and saw that they were coming to rape and strangle us for killing Scumlord. So I walked over to them, grabbed one of their bikes, and slammed it into the next one with so much force that it exploded with megatons of power. All of the bikers were evaporated by the blast. And I kept that smug grin on my face the whole way through. I walked back to the concentration of fascists and put an end to all of their lives. One of them, I decided to take a little time with because he looked much too similar to the gorilla-faced goon who killed my friend with a bullet to the brains.
So I grabbed him by the neck and shook him like a bobblehead until his head came off, and he just fell and ragdolled all across the ground as if fascists deserve to bleed on good ground like that. No, I needed more. I was the Punisher. I was El Sexorcisto! And I saw some more Nazis a few hundred miles away and immediately jogged to them. The sun was still somewhat up over there, so I had plenty of light to do as I pleased with them. I don't think they even noticed I was there until I slaughtered them like pigs with a blink. And when they did finally notice, it was too late for their guns to react. The light from the sun had not yet hit the ground from where I stood by the time the clash ended.
I heard some leaves rustling a few hundred miles away back roughly where our camp was. Then I saw it— a Nazi sniper. He was an elf. High elf. Whole body clad in Nazi regalia and tattoos, carrying small condoms in his pocket, and having dreamed last night of forcing himself on whole towns worth of women and girls. Judging by that goofy grin on his face and the whimpering eight-year-old Hispanic girl running to hide from him, I deduced he was about to engage in dark things. Oh boy, oh boy, I was about to have tons of fun with him because I also saw that he wasn't a biker... but part of the Hurricanes. That was all I needed to dropkick him into the side of a mountain and beat his atoms down into quarks. And once that was done, I found a way to keep tearing off his health until he somehow had negative health. The game suffered a stack overflow but I was too charged up to care. Eventually, he had an HP of negative one million, causing the game to crash in a twelve-by-twelve foot radius around his last location.
Dozens of miles on, there were some Hurricanes. I didn't give a shit. I found them and beat them to death with my brainwaves because I wanted to see if I could do it. There was one survivor, and I killed him with my tongue straight to his forehead, but I accidentally sent the remnants of his skull to the moon. And if that wasn't enough, I also managed to loot some Nazi that was so many miles away that he should have been beyond my reach, but nope. I still got all his stuff. And what do you know, he was broke and just had a flick knife and a condom. I tossed the flick knife back to him, the impact of which broke the upper half of his body from his knees and sent the giblets flying into the exosphere. The condom obliterated his shins and feet and carved a gulch twelve hundred feet deep that ran for five miles and swallowed an entire town. For that, I earned a five-star wanted level and brought the wrath of the military upon myself.
The first Apache attack choppers that took off from a distant military installation exploded when I turned my head towards them. A Nazi mech started up, and the goon in the cockpit readied a barrage of tactical nuclear missiles that would glass half the desert. I gave it a Shoryuken, sending the pieces to the moon. However, I reached out, grabbed the moon from the sky, and waved it to the other side, causing the Nazi pilot to miss the moon and vanish into the vacuum of space. The planet rumbled and the aircraft carriers capsized as thousand-foot high tsunamis wreaked havoc upon the coasts. I saw a whirlpool the size of Australia form on the other side of virtual Earth, and it spun so quickly that temperatures beneath the sea skyrocketed from the sheer friction and wrought a hypercane that twisted the atmosphere of the area into a singularity of spherical tornadoes that formed in on themselves. One of them, a neat little tornadorb that had EF-6 wind speeds of around four hundred miles per hour, intrigued me so much that I grabbed it through the planet and carried it across the desert. Many Rocket 88 fools saw I, Godfucker, and thought they could kill me with bullets and rocket propelled grenades. I physically grabbed the server bandwidth and rewound the game’s actions, which caused their own bullets to rip into them while the grenades fired in a loop-de-loop that shot up the ass of the offending Nazi and blasted him off like Team Rocket. He twinkled away and a tear ran down my cheek as I saluted him off.
I punched out the five stars to get the fuzz off my back and smelled the stench of Hitler and ass. Eighty-eight miles to the west southwest was a military camp of Rocket 88s being trained by the Hurricane Corporation’s finest agents, so I bowled the tornadorb over and hit a perfect strike. However, the tornadorb did not do as much damage as I wanted because you never send a tornado to do a man’s job, so I jogged over and punched every Nazi to death. By accident, I ruined the rest of the camp and destroyed countless bits of loot.
Ana said to me, "What the hell just happened to you?" But when I walked over to one of the nearest ocean about 2,000 miles away to get a good look at myself, I loved the fact that I was now glowing pure white and had a monstrous dong that was half the size of little petite Ana herself.
My voice boomed at one hundred and twenty decibels across the entire game world, blowing out windows for hundreds of miles and kickstarting stampedes and I whispered, "I am now El Sexorcisto. I am become Sex, the fucker of Gods. The Alexei Sistar you knew is nothing more than a memory, a dream that has now been forgotten. I am the sexiest man in the entire world, so virile that I have transcended my biology to become one with the omniverse." Still not doing so well with the speeches, but it sounded epic.
And when I was finished talking, I was already halfway to the next region. However, it was locked. And despite all my powers, I could not break out of it without unlocking a pass. So I found some more Nazis and Hurricane scumbags, wrecked their shit until I had gotten about 25,000 EXP, and once those few seconds were up, I leveled up to the point I could accomplish the mission that would give me the keys I needed to leave. I found the kindly old punk— a GILF wearing a leather leotard that did some unfortunate things with all her folded wrinkly skin while also wearing a Stars-and-Stripes bandana straight out of the ‘80s— and she gave me the quest.
However, I read it from her internal programming and accepted it before I had even arrived, so we left and I went to the military base at the far southwest end of the desert. I broke through all of the security walls, laid waste to the place with a few kilotons worth of punches and breaths, and killed every soldier inside until I could find the item in total peace. When the base was flooding with blood and it looked like I was about to enter the right keycodes from through the game code itself (rather than do something silly like explore or try to hack the keypad), I suddenly returned to my body and gasped.
All of that glowing ended. My arms gave out and the girls dropped onto their asses and backs.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry about that!" But as I helped them up, my first thoughts were, 'why is the floor metal? Why is the floor over there so wet and red? And why am I in so much pain?' When I focused in, I could barely make out a shape at the far end of the hall so I got up and immediately fell onto my side as the most brain-splitting pain exploded throughout my body. I fell, but hitting the floor made me feel worse. When I yelled, my mouth rocked me with more pain. Breathing hurt too, and I thought I was having a heart attack because my heart beats sent shiveringly cold waves of pain through my spine.
I stared straight at the ceiling and expected it all to end. However, the light hitting my ocular nerves ignited pain in my face.
"God take me," I said, bringing even more pain from the motions of my facial muscles, tongue, and the firing of my
neurons. "I didn't think it would end this way." All that overflowing the game's code with my raw omnipotence did a number on me, and I was going to feel the consequences of breaking the game. By accident, my eyes looked upon an insignia clad against one of the walls— a red, green, and grey tag of diabolical meanings and extreme pain just to perceive.
Ana stooped down and let me see more of that underthigh as she lifted my head. By that point, the pain took over like a brain parasite so I couldn't make any vocalizations besides some dull moaning. And all my levels and stats seemed to have been greyed out. Not that I could really pay attention since thinking hurt.
But when I did keep my attention focused onto the menus, I saw another bar just behind it all and tried to sweep it away. However, the neural signals going through my synapses hurt too much so I just tried to not move anything. As the Beatles said, 'Let it Be,' so I did. But that hurt too. Existing hurt so I tried to exit the game. Not being able to exit the game hurt the worst, until I blinked and felt the worst pain yet.
Maria tended to me, running her fingers through my hair and scratching my head with what felt like Japanese knives dragged across the skin down the nerves. Her tail set upon my face, and the coldness felt good. I thought that if I could get into an ice-cold bath, I don't even remember how the sentence was supposed to end because fuck me it hurt. When you’re standing in molten tungsten, dipping your toes in boiling water feels like winter has come to rescue you from damnation. The energy I spent coming up with that analogy and simile made more of my nervous system scream until there was nothing left but pain.
And it was Olga, of course the friggin' Elf, who motioned to the others, wiggled her fingers, and let some sparkles fall on me. All of the sparkles hurt, but they hurt less and less. She brought her hands to her cheeks and tears watered her eyes, but I lifted my hand to let her know that I was still alive. It all sounded muffled because of the painful throbbing of blood rushing through the veins in my head, but I could make out some words like, 'Elven healing' and 'something bad' and 'broke the game' and that was it. Too much hearing things. Ear drums hurt. But I survived well enough from that at least. I was happy to have survived, even if surviving hurt.