Most Unsuitable Husband

by Clemmons, Caroline

  Nate sat beside the bed next to Joe. “Remember what I told you. It’s okay to be afraid as long as it doesn’t keep you from doing what’s right.”

  Nate nodded at Sarah and she left the room. She couldn’t stand the thought of not being included, though, and hovered outside in the hallway until Joe and Luke dropped off to sleep and Nate came out.

  He walked with her, then stopped outside the open door of his room. "He thinks his stepfather is coming here after him.”

  “Do you agree?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “I think it’s more likely he’ll show up asking you for money. I almost hope he does. I’d like to see the man punished for what he put Joe through.”

  She stared at his bare chest, at the unfastened top button on his trousers, and a sudden urge to touch his skin assaulted her. Shocked at her wantonness, she took a step back and stammered, “Thanks for your help.”

  She raised her gaze to his and her knees almost buckled. His wolf’s eyes blazed with passion in the light from the lamp she carried. He stepped toward her and cupped her face in his hands to brush a gentle kiss across her mouth. Only a touch, really, but it ignited the passion smoldering within her. It must have affected him in the same way. He released her briefly, then pulled her inside his room and closed the door softly behind them.

  She set the lamp on a table, then moved into his arms. He smiled before his mouth possessed hers, his tongue probed and darted within. No longer was his kiss soft or hesitant. He tasted of the brandy he must have drunk earlier in the evening at Grandpa’s. She melded her taste with his.

  He broke the kiss and gripped her shoulders. His chest heaved with ragged breaths and passion darkened his tawny eyes. “Sarah, get out of here before I lose all control.”

  She reached behind her to turn the key in the lock. When she turned back, his eyes showed surprise as well as his desire. He tipped her face up with his finger.

  “Do you know what you’re doing? I won’t be able to hold you and not ask for more.”

  “I want more, too.” She extinguished the lamp and slid her arms around his waist under the loose shirt.

  “Sarah, I need you more than you can imagine. I can’t restrain myself much longer.” He wrapped her in his embrace.

  “I’ve already lost whatever restraint I had,” she said and pressed her face against his bared chest.

  He moaned and reclaimed her lips, his kisses insistent and persuading. Unable to resist the lure of his muscular shoulders, she moved her hands across them and pressed him toward her. He broke away to shrug out of his shirt then push the wrapper from her shoulders. She let the wool slide down her arms until it dropped to the floor. When the ties to her nightgown were released, it, too, pooled at her feet.

  The touch of cool air on her skin did nothing to cool her ardor. Standing bare as a babe in front of him, she wondered at his thoughts. Did he find her beautiful, did he think her too bold? She might have crossed her hands modestly over her breasts, but he swung her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He laid her gently on the sheets, then crossed to the windows and opened the curtains wider. Light from the full moon slanted across the bed.

  He said, “I want to see your wonderful body.”

  When he returned to her, he claimed his place beside her but propped himself on one elbow.

  “You don’t know how I’ve dreamed of this,” he said as he spread her unbound locks across the pillow. “Your hair is the color of moonbeams.” He raised several curls and let them slide through his fingers. “Strands of silk against my hand.”

  He trailed kisses softly across her shoulder. “Soft, so soft,” he murmured before pressing his lips to hers. His hand cupped her breast and his thumb moved across her nipple.

  Pleasure spiraled through her. She wanted more of him, wanted to reclaim the ecstasy she’d experienced by the river. Moving her hands to his trousers, she worked to undo the rest of the buttons.

  His hands stilled hers and he raised his head to meet her gaze. “Are you sure? Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

  Though she hadn’t planned this now, she knew she must proceed. Tomorrow he would leave to stay with Grandpa and she might never have another opportunity to know his intimate touch.

  “I’m positive, Nate. I’ve yearned for you so.” She didn’t tell him she also knew he didn’t return her love. She couldn’t go through life wondering what if, wishing she hadn’t let a chance for magic slip away. This might be her only chance to share this with him. No one else would ever do. It had to be Nate.

  He rolled off the bed and shucked his trousers, then rejoined her. Starting a trail of kisses across her eyes, he moved along her cheek to the corner of her mouth, and down her throat. His lips, teeth and tongue worked magic with her breast when he claimed a nipple with his mouth. His hands caressed her, cherished her, worshiped her.

  She felt a woman adored and desired. This man drove her mad with his touch. How could she resist this chance to experience all he could offer?

  He moved his mouth to her other breast and his hand sought the juncture of her thighs. He parted her legs and slipped his finger inside her. She felt moisture gather as his finger slid in and out.

  Clinging to him, she begged, “More, Nate. I need more.”

  His apologetic voice pierced her fog of ardor. “I don’t want to hurt you, but there’ll be pain just at first.”

  “Now, Nate, I need you now.”

  He poised over her and pressed his manhood against her tender entry. She needed without understanding exactly what she craved. Her whole being cried out to him to sate this overpowering urgency within her.

  She felt him inside her and marveled that his manhood fit so well. Her arms and legs circled him, pushing her body up to meet his.

  He kissed her. “Are you ready for me?”

  “Yes, yes, yes. Please hurry.”

  His mouth claimed hers and she lost herself in his kiss. He thrust into her feminine folds. She felt pain and stiffened in surprise. He paused but his lips continued their sorcery.

  Memory surfaced of the pleasure she had found at his hands by the river. Surely this would be even greater once the pain subsided. Ecstasy awaited and this time he would share it with her. When his movements renewed, only pleasure radiated from her core.

  “You’re doing fine, sweetheart,” he coaxed. “Stay with me.”

  Lost in his spell, she climbed to the heavens, rising with each fevered movement. His thrusts grew more rapid, his breathing more labored. When she thought she would explode from pleasure, she felt the burst of his release as her own erupted. Together they floated back to earth.

  She clung to him and he rolled off her, cuddling her to his side. He kissed her hair, her face, her eyes, then nuzzled her neck. Never had she felt so cherished.

  “That was even more wonderful than I’d dreamed,” he said. He held her and she heard his breathing return to normal as drowsiness claimed him.

  “I love you,” she whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

  She longed to remain wrapped in his arms, but she feared discovery. Embarrassing as it might be for her if their liaison were discovered, it would be worse for him. She wanted no unpleasantness for him because of this wonderful experience. Even though she wanted him to stay in Kincaid Springs with her, she didn’t want it to be because her family coerced him to marry her. What kind of union would that be?

  With a mixture of elation and regret, of fulfillment and yearning, she slipped from his arms. She pulled on her nightgown and stepped into her slippers. Clutching her wrapper around her, she unlocked the door. She retrieved her lamp and closed the door softly behind her.

  In her room she cleaned the evidence of their union from her thighs. She wondered at the linens on his bed and vowed to slip in and check them before she left the house in the morning. Only when she’d made her way to her bed and lay curled beneath the covers did she relax.

  Then she touched her stomach and heat spread in a flush across her
face with the knowledge of the risks she’d run. What if they’d planted a babe and Nate left? Overcome with remorse for her wanton actions in disregarding propriety and her strict moral code, she berated herself. Her reputation would be ruined, her family shamed. The child would never know a father, would suffer the horrid taunts hurled at Sarah as she grew up.

  Dear Lord in heaven, what had she been thinking about? Nothing, that’s what. Actions based on emotion, on the burning need within her that caused her to act without a care in her head for consequences. How many times had she heard Pearl caution women on the ways to avoid pregnancy? Sarah should have taken those precautions, but it was too late now.

  After all the years of concern over the opinions of others, she couldn’t prevent the thoughts from surfacing now. She bit her lip in anxiety. She was a Kincaid now and an important part of the community. It was her duty to set an example, to be a credit to her family.

  Never would she try to abort a child as Aunt Lily had done. No, she’d face whatever she must. If a child came from tonight, at least she’d have a sweet reminder of her time with Nate. Sarah prayed her situation would work out for the best, that if she had conceived, Nate would stay in Kincaid Springs and ask her to marry him before anyone knew of the pregnancy.

  Chapter Twelve

  After a restless night, Sarah forced herself awake. Already she heard the sounds of people rising. Doors closed and feet trod in the hall. Someone, probably Storm, whistled a tune. The smell of fresh bread and coffee wafted into her room and her stomach rumbled.

  She moved and her body reminded her of the lovemaking she and Nate had shared during the night. Tender tissues protested when she sat on the side of the bed but did nothing to diminish the soaring of her spirit. How sweet he’d been, how tender, yet passionate. Surely he felt something more than lust for her to have been so gentle and considerate.

  Her dream resurfaced of herself and Nate sharing a life together. Cindy, Luke, Joe, and the children to follow shared a place in her fantasy. There would be boys with their father’s tall stature and strong physique, girls with their father’s tawny eyes and thick lashes. They’d live in a house filled with love and laughter.

  She would love having his children, with him by her side. Her hand pressed her stomach. Already a baby might be growing. How wonderful to have a little boy like Nate.

  Oh, Lord, what if he left? The thrill of the possibility of pregnancy weighed against the shame of being unwed with a child. If the shame were only hers, she would not worry. Blame would fall onto their child, though, and Cindy, Luke, and Joe would also share her disgrace.

  She hugged her arms and rocked on the side of the bed. At least she had known happiness for one brief night, even if it never came her way again. She still had her three children and the memory of Nate’s lovemaking. Lonely it might be, but she could live with only that.

  And if a baby grew within her, she would confront that situation, too. She would not be cowed, would not hide herself away. No, she would rejoice in her child and get on with her life.

  The realization that she could face whatever life brought her, though it meant facing disgrace, startled her. She wanted to be known for her good works, true. Suddenly she knew she would accomplish those acts with or without Nate, regardless of whether or not she carried his child. Though she hoped he would decide to stay with her, she would not let even him deter her from her chosen path.

  If she must live alone all her life, a lifetime without Nate, she had this experience to savor. One night to last through eternity. She prayed there was more, but either way she would survive. Moreover, she would succeed with her school and with her children. Her resolve renewed, she stood and dressed for the day.

  ***

  Dawn crept through the windows and nudged Nate from slumber. He reached for Sarah as he awoke, needing to feel her against him once again. He rolled onto his back as the memory of their previous night’s lovemaking swept through him. The miracle of her passionate response, the sweet satin of her skin, the way she fit in his arms made his longing spring anew. Burrowing into her pillow, he inhaled the lingering of her rose fragrance.

  He had thought once he conquered her, she would be out of his system and he could get on with his plans. Fool, he cursed himself. His desire for her had increased tenfold rather than diminished. Recollection of the many names he had called her made him wince. They were all wrong. She was Miss Heaven, Miss Paradise. Miss Too-Good-For-The-Likes-Of-You.

  Despair enveloped him and he pressed his hands to his face. Dear God, help me. How had he come to such a place in his life? Now he wanted all those things he had wasted a lifetime scoffing at. He wanted this job at the law office, a cozy house, his family with him each day. Most of all, he wanted Sarah.

  He threw back the covers and sat up on the side of the bed. Maybe there was a chance. Maybe he could forget about the swindle and go on as he was now. Monk would go along with him. All they had to do was convince Hargrove to move on.

  Nate stood and reached for his trousers. He saw the spots of blood on the sheet and winced. He’d never been with a virgin before, had no right to this one. At least he could protect her name. Whipping the tattletale sheet off the bed, he folded it into a small square and stuffed it under the mattress’ center. From the armoire, he took out a fresh sheet and remade the bed.

  Fearing he’d dallied too long, he hurried through his preparations for the day and went to the kitchen for breakfast.

  Everyone else in the household was in the dining room, some already seated.

  Nate nodded. “Good morning.”

  He received greetings from the others and sat beside Sarah.

  “You recovered from your rough night?” Storm asked.

  Sarah blanched and her mouth dropped open.

  The shock of the question caused Nate to drop his napkin and he bent to retrieve it. Could Storm have known Sarah came to Nate’s room? No, he’d never be this calm if he had. Shotguns would be involved if anyone here knew what had transpired between him and Sarah.

  Storm stared from Sarah to Nate. “What time did you get Joe settled down and get him to sleep?”

  Nate realized he’d held his breath at Storm’s first question and only now resumed breathing. Sarah answered before he could.

  “Nate sat with him until he fell asleep and he seemed fine when I checked on him later.” She looked at Joe a couple of seats away. “You’re all right this morning, aren’t you?”

  Joe nodded and seemed embarrassed at the reminder of his weakness.

  Nate smiled at him and said, “We all have nightmares at times.”

  Joe flashed Nate a look of gratitude before he lowered his eyes again.

  “I have nightmares sometimes,” said Robbie. “Then Mama comes in and holds my hand until I go back to sleep.”

  Storm nodded. “That’s what she used to do for me when I had bad dreams.”

  Joe watched Storm, his eyes wide with speculation, as if finding it hard to believe this large man had ever been a small boy with nightmares.

  Drake addressed Joe. “Son, you’re part of our family now, and we’ll do everything we can to take care of you. You remember that, all right?”

  Joe nodded. He looked at the people around the table as if seeing them for the first time. For the first time since Nate had known the kid, a kind of peace showed on Joe’s face and he dug into his breakfast.

  Drake turned to Nate and asked, “How do you like the law office so far?”

  “I’m surprised at how much I enjoy it,” Nate answered. “It’s little stuff, of course, since I don’t know how to do much yet. Still, there’s an order that makes sense.”

  “Don’t know how you could like dusty books and boring papers more than being out with the cows and horses,” Storm said.

  Nate shook his head. “There’s no comparison. Cows lose hands down.”

  “So, you moving to Grandpa’s today?” Drake asked.

  “Yes, that’s the plan,” Nate answered. After
what happened last night it was for the best, but he longed to hold Sarah again. How sweet it would be to lie with her each night and wake with her in his arms. Good thing he was moving away from the temptation of her only a few doors down the hall.

  Drake pushed back from the table and tossed his napkin beside his plate. “Well, don’t be a stranger. You’re welcome to change your mind anytime and move back here.”

  Nate had his doubts as to the truth of that, but he appreciated the statement anyway. For some reason it made his leaving a little easier. He didn’t feel he was being shut out completely by his move into town. Damn, if Drake knew Sarah had spent half the night in Nate’s room, things would be different.

  In the rush to get everyone off to their day’s activities, Nate had no time alone with Sarah. He thanked Pearl for her hospitality, then told his three youngsters goodbye.

  “Remember, you’re a real family now. Look out for one another and for your new Mama.”

  Cindy’s lip trembled and the two boys nodded solemnly.

  “Hey, why the long faces? I’ll be back in a few days and I’ll also see you when you come to town. You’ll have lots to tell me then.”

  At last, as he tied his carpetbag to his saddle, Sarah came to speak with him. Pearl watched from the porch and the children danced around him, so he couldn’t hold Sarah, couldn’t tell her any of the things he longed to say.

  “You’ll come back sometimes, won’t you?” Sarah asked.

  “Every chance I get,” Nate answered. “Will you be coming to town?”

  She smiled up at him with her perfect rosebud mouth. “Every chance I get.”

  He wanted her so much he almost forgot to tell her about the bed. He leaned forward pretending to check his saddle and murmured, “I put the stained sheet under the mattress and replaced it with a fresh one.”

  Her cheeks flamed and she lowered her eyes. “Thank you. I meant to do something like that.”