Silver Bells

by Fern Michaels

Yet even the thought of escape didn’t seem like an easy way out. Walking away from Jillian was going to be tough for a man who’d fought for everything else he’d needed in life. But why make it any harder on himself than it had to be?

  “You’ll find that things always work out for the best when you do the right thing,” Mac had told the kids earlier today, “even when doing the right thing hurts.”

  And that’s just what he was going to do. He just hadn’t realized how much truth there was to that statement.

  Letting go of Jillian and the kids hurt like hell.

  Chapter Thirteen

  When the doorbell rang, Mac was shoving his shaving gear into the top of the black carry-on bag that sat on the bed. He’d packed up his stuff and was ready to take it to the car.

  The Realtor he’d called earlier had wanted to come by and see the house later this evening, but Mac told her he’d meet with her tomorrow. He wasn’t in the mood for visitors right now, which was why he ignored the bell—until it chimed again.

  And again.

  After zipping the canvas bag shut, he made his way to the door. He’d just have to tell whoever was there that he was leaving and didn’t have time to chat or to get involved in another neighborhood dispute.

  But he hadn’t expected that someone at the door to be Jillian.

  “Are you still up for Christmas Under the Stars?” she asked.

  Since he figured her ex-husband’s arrival had altered everyone’s plans, the question caught him off guard. Yet even if it hadn’t, Mac was planning to make an excuse and bow out.

  Surely, she didn’t expect him to go with all of them to the park. No way would he be a part of that circus.

  “What about Jared?” he asked.

  “He’s looking for a hotel. I told him he could spend time with the kids tomorrow and maybe take them somewhere, but he can’t be with them tonight. I already have plans with them.”

  Mac didn’t know what to say. He might have made a commitment to Tommy and Megan to take them to the park, but he wasn’t about to tiptoe around Jillian anymore, pretending that he was just an old friend, when he wanted to be so much more. Maybe he would tell her that there’d been a new lead on a case that had gone cold and that he’d been called in to work this evening.

  Hey, what would one little lie hurt if it shielded his pride?

  But there were still a few questions tumbling around in his mind, and he decided to ask the biggest one. “What’s Jared planning to do in Fairbrook?”

  “I guess that Disney cruise was more family oriented than he’d anticipated, and he started feeling guilty about being with someone else’s kids, when the children he’d fathered were spending Christmas without him.”

  As far as Mac was concerned, the guy should have realized that before he even considered booking a trip during the holidays. But apparently, Jared Ridgeway was self-centered and jumped into all kinds of situations without giving his wife and kids much thought or consideration.

  “So when the guilt finally kicked in,” Mac said, “he decided to fly to San Diego to play the part of a loving daddy?”

  “That’s about the size of it. And he gave me that child support check he’d forgotten to mail, too.”

  “Great.” But that still hadn’t provided the answer Mac most needed to hear. “How do you feel about all of this, Jilly? You left Roseville to put some distance between the two of you and to start a new life. Now here he is, standing on your front doorstep and wanting to right a multitude of wrongs.”

  She combed her fingers through her hair and shifted her weight to one hip. If she thought anything about why he was keeping her on the porch, rather than inviting her inside, she didn’t let on. “I’ll admit that I got a certain amount of satisfaction out of his apology. My pride took a low blow when he left me for someone else, so it was nice to hear him say he was sorry, that he’d made a mistake in leaving.”

  And…?

  Did Mac need to pry it out of her? Was she going to give her ex-husband the second chance he was asking for or not?

  He hated to come right out and ask, though. His own pride was at stake, and he didn’t want her to suspect how vulnerable he felt right now. So he skated around what he was really feeling. “If you two are going to give your marriage a chance, there’s no point in me complicating matters by going with you and the kids to the park tonight.”

  “Jared was hoping I’d welcome him back home,” she said, “but I can’t do that. I told him that I would fully support his efforts to have a better relationship with the kids, but that whatever we had as a couple is over.”

  A sense of relief swept through Mac, yet that wasn’t enough. He wanted the chance to re-create a relationship with Jillian, and he wasn’t talking about them being “old high school friends.” Did he dare admit that to her? No matter what her response would be?

  He hadn’t been able to do that fifteen years ago.

  “The woman Jared hooked up with this time wasn’t the first one he’d gotten involved with while we were married,” Jillian added. “And I want a man I can trust. A man who knows how to make a lifetime commitment and who won’t bail out on me on a whim or when the going gets tough.”

  Mac knew without a doubt that, given the chance, he could be that man for her. And, more than anything else in the world, he wanted to be. But wishes hadn’t gotten him anywhere before. He was going to have to admit how he felt—no matter what the risk.

  He lifted his hand and skimmed his knuckles along her cheek. “Life is full of uncertainties, Jillian, and this is one of those times. Fifteen years ago, I fell in love with you. I know I never said it, but I was afraid to put my heart on the line. And when you broke up with me, I told myself it was a good thing I hadn’t leveled with you.”

  “So that’s why, when I told you I couldn’t see you anymore, you just shrugged it off as though I was one of your teachers, and I’d just announced a pop quiz.”

  He let his hand drop, missing the warmth of their contact immediately. “In truth? I wanted to beg you to give me one more chance, but my pride wouldn’t let me. So I acted as though it was no big deal. Then I watched you walk away, taking the only good thing that had ever happened to me with you.”

  “I loved you, too,” she said, her voice coming out whisper soft.

  “I wish you would have told me.” It would have made it easier for Mac to admit his feelings back then if she’d gone first.

  Her eyes welled with unshed emotion, but he’d be darned if he knew what it was—regret? Disappointment?

  Holding back their feelings in the past hadn’t gotten them anywhere. Now it appeared as though Mac had been given the second chance he’d wanted. But this time he was going to have to do something about it.

  He cleared his throat and stepped out on what felt like a shaky limb that might crack under his weight. “Seeing you again has not only made me realize just how much I once loved you, but how much I still do.”

  Tears slid down Jillian’s cheeks, and her bottom lip quivered. “I know just what you mean, Mac. I love you, too. And in the past couple of days, I’ve come to the conclusion that I always have.”

  A warmth swelled in his chest, and he slid his arms around her waist, drawing her close. “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, you’d better get used to hearing it.”

  As she lifted her lips, he kissed her with all the love in his heart, love he’d been bottling up for as long as he could remember.

  Her fingers slid into his hair, and she leaned into him, opening her mouth and allowing the kiss to deepen. She tasted of sugar and spice, of magic and dreams, and he lost himself in her embrace, relishing every heated touch, every ragged breath.

  When they finally came up for air, Mac cupped Jilly’s face in his hands. “Now that I’ve said the words, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to hold them back. I love you, honey. And I promise to do everything I can to make the rest of
your life happy.”

  Her eyes glistened with joy and an intensity he’d never seen in them before. “There’s bound to be some rough spots along the way, but overcoming them together is what life and love are all about.”

  “Hey!” Tommy’s voice sounded behind them, and they both turned to greet him.

  Mac had no idea how the kids were going to react to him being a permanent part of their lives, but he was willing to do whatever it took to help them see that they were all better off this way, even if domestic drama was an everyday occurrence.

  “What’s taking you guys so long?” the boy asked. “Meggie and I are ready to go to the park.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?” Mac asked. “I’ll grab my jacket and the keys.”

  An hour later, Mac and Jillian strolled hand in hand through the grounds of Mulberry Park, appreciating the work volunteers from Parkside Community Church had put into decorating for Christmas Under the Stars. Tiny blinking lights twinkled in the trees, and a mouthwatering spread of homemade goodies filled tables covered with red cloths. Off to the side, industrial size thermoses filled with coffee, decaf, hot cocoa, and hot water provided drinks to warm the crowd.

  Christmas music, as well as the sound of laughter and happy voices, filled the air. Talk about Christmas cheer. Mac had never understood it all before, but he did now.

  Jillian’s fingers threaded through his as though she’d never let him go. With her free hand, she motioned for Tommy and Megan, who’d been playing with several other children on the swings and slides.

  Mac watched as the kids approached, and he marveled at their smiling faces and at how right it was for them to be together, here and now and always. They’d be his kids, too, he realized, and the thought pleased him.

  There was still a lot up in the air, but for the time being, he would let his apartment go and stay in Ray’s house, getting it ready to sell. The commute to work would be a breeze, and even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t matter. He’d be coming home to Jillian, one way or another.

  “Is it time for everything to start?” Tommy asked.

  “I hope so.” Megan’s excitement lit her face. “I want to hear them read the Christmas story.”

  “Look.” Jillian pointed to a man handing out candles for people to hold. “I’m sure they’ll be starting soon, so let’s sit on the blanket we brought.”

  Mac gave Jillian’s hand a gentle squeeze. “That’s probably a good idea.”

  As they gathered together on an old patchwork quilt, Mac couldn’t help noting the intricate design. Someone had carefully taken scraps of cloth and stitched them all together into something useful, something beautiful. And he couldn’t help thinking that’s how families were supposed to work. Individuals bound together by love and a creator.

  His first family might not have been what every kid deserved, but look at him now.

  What a gift he’d been given.

  His thoughts drifted to the day he’d met Jesse, the day Mac had listened to some fatherly advice and opted to make a change in his life.

  If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the homeless man’s prophetic words.

  Doing the right thing, Jesse had said, is a reward in and of itself.

  Maybe you’re right, Mac had responded. But it’s not that easy.

  I know. Sometimes it’s the hardest route to take. But I’ll tell you this, Mac. If you choose to do right over wrong, every chance you get, you’ll get that family you always wanted and reap the kind of life you deserve.

  Jesse had been right. Mac had finally found everything he’d ever wanted in Jillian. And his future had never looked brighter.

  They would, however, still have to deal with the Bobbie Sue/Princess Leia dilemma when they got home, but he suspected that was just one of those rough spots Jillian had talked about.

  One way or another, he knew they’d work it out.

  After all, Mac had promised Megan that he would “fix things” with Charlie and the broken angel, and with Jillian’s help, he’d managed to do just that. So if Princess Leia proved to be the dog Charlie had lost, then Mac would fix that, too—somehow. Perhaps he’d talk Charlie into giving up the dog. Or into entering some kind of shared canine custody agreement.

  The microphone roared an annoying squawk, and the senior pastor of Parkside Community Church welcomed those who’d gathered on the lawn to the fifteenth annual Christmas Under the Stars. Then he introduced a teenage girl who would read a passage from the second chapter of Luke.

  Mac had never considered himself a religious man and didn’t even own a Bible, but he listened intently to the story of a child born in a manger and wrapped in swaddling cloth.

  As the young girl continued to read, he surveyed the others who sat in the park, strangers now, but people in a community that would soon be his. He couldn’t imagine where his life might have led if a stranger hadn’t taken him under his wing when he’d been an unhappy, aimless teenager with a broken heart and shattered dreams.

  “An angel of the Lord appeared to them,” the girl read, “and the glory of the Lord shone around them…”

  A light caught the corner of Mac’s eye, and he turned to see a figure in the distance, a man with a silver-threaded beard and a glowing face.

  Jesse?

  “Excuse me a minute,” Mac whispered to Jillian.

  She questioned him with her eyes, and he nodded toward the man dressed in a trench coat who stood at the fringe of the park. Then he got to his feet and made his way toward the guy.

  As Mac drew nearer, the man turned to walk away.

  “Hey, wait!” Mac called.

  The man stopped long enough to smile and raise his hand in a little wave. Then he continued on his way, disappearing into the night.

  Mac decided not to chase after him, but he still fought a wave of disappointment as he made his way back to the blanket where he’d left Jillian and the kids. He hadn’t gone far when he heard a pathetic little whimper.

  Several feet to the right, a small, dark-haired puppy, its hair matted, looked up at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen.

  “Where’d you come from, little guy?” Mac scanned the immediate area, but didn’t see anyone with the scrawny little thing.

  So he stooped and picked it up. “Come on, little guy. You look like you need a family. And I’ve got just the one for you.”

  Then he carried his find back to Jillian and the kids.

  Together, they were going to make this world a better place—doing the right thing, one day at a time.

  ZEBRA BOOKS are published by

  Kensington Publishing Corp.

  850 Third Avenue

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  Copyright © 2008 by Kensington Publishing Corp.

  “Silver Bells” copyright © 2008 by Fern Michaels

  “Dear Santa” copyright © 2008 by JoAnn Ross

  “Christmas Past” copyright © 2008 by Mary Burton

  “A Mulberry Park Christmas” copyright © 2008 by Judy Duarte

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

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  ISBN: 1-4201-0757-7