Enjoying Trouble (Trouble #3)

by Dee Bridle

  “Do what?” I mumbled guiltily.

  “You shoved me away. I’m finally listening and moving away okay? Last night was the last time I hurt another guy over you. I’m done. You can’t have me without having all of me. This is it. It was your choice.”

  “But I had to! I had no choice!”

  “Everyone has a choice, Janey. You had a choice and you decided against me.”

  “So, I’ve succeeded in getting you to finally hate me,” I conceded.

  “I don’t fucking hate you, Janey,” he said angrily. “Do I hate your choices? Fuck, yes but I can no longer hang around like a lovesick fool and try and change your mind. I can’t keep looking out for you, making sure you are not making the wrong decisions every minute of the day. It’s over. I get it. Last night was a mistake. Go and be wild. Go and do whatever you want to do. I’ll let you go.”

  I burst into tears.

  “I don’t want you to let me go,” I sobbed truthfully. I was being ripped apart at the seams and knew I would suffer through being committed by his mother than losing him for good. He ran both hands through his short hair in frustration.

  “You can’t have it both ways.”

  I cried more. I stood in the middle of his room, letting out big, ugly sobbing tears. I cried for everything I had lost and all that I was now losing forever.

  “Stop,” he said throatily. “I can’t cope with your tears. Just stop.”

  I wiped at them and tried to focus on him through the blurriness.

  “I’m so sorry I hurt you,” I sobbed. I truly was. Other than my brother, he had been the most important person in my life. He walked towards me and was suddenly right there, wiping my tears with his thumb. I looked up into his eyes and let out another sob. This wonderful guy was no longer mine. As soon as I left this house, it would be the end of whatever we had together.

  “I don’t understand your decision about us, but I’m accepting it. It just hurts too fucking much, Janey. I need to take a step back from you; I can’t hang around and watch you enjoy others again. I’ve got scars from that shit. I don’t have it in me anymore. I’ve got too much other shit going on around me at the moment and I’m at my limit.”

  His words tore through me because they were heartfelt and the honest truth; he didn’t have it in him to love me unconditionally anymore. He was letting me go. I had succeeded in what I had set out to do the day I got out of rehab. His mother had won.

  A mixture of panic, need and love washed through me and without another thought, I leaned up and kissed his lips. He stayed still for a moment, his lips not returning my kiss. I felt his body steel itself, holding back from me. I continued to kiss his lips, not giving up.

  “Janey, stop,” he whispered against my mouth.

  “Just one last time,” I pleaded as my hands travelled over his chest. I wanted to cherish our last moment together. Our final goodbye. His body continued to stay still, but his mouth started to kiss me back, slowly giving into me. I kissed him more, feeling his breathing change while his body still held back in steely defiance. He was fighting himself and I needed him to give in, take hold of me and show me what I would miss for the rest of my life.

  “I want you, Will. I need you to be inside me one more time,” I whispered into his mouth. His hand cupped my cheek and he pulled me closer.

  “Let’s forget the world and just get lost in each other,” I pleaded softly as my hands went down to his jeans. They were already undone so I only had to push them down before they dropped around his ankles. He suddenly pulled my body up against his and kissed me hard. I felt him kick his jeans off and then move over to the bed.

  He threw me down on there and followed me, undoing my jeans and pulling them down.

  “This will never be enough,” murmured Will against my lips.

  “It has to be for now,” I said, running my hand through his hair. He looked down at me, his eyes assessing me as his hand moved my top up and caressed my skin. I arched my back as he pulled my bra down, his eyes travelling over every inch of me, like he was committing it all to memory.

  “You’re so perfect,” he said as he leaned down and sucked a nipple into his mouth. I let out a soft groan, pleasure flooding through my limbs. I didn’t want him to ever stop, knowing this was the best it would ever get. I ran my hand over his neck and shoulder and then down his back, revelling in his warm, firm skin.

  He pulled my top up and over my head, throwing it somewhere in the room, along with my bra. He looked down at me with hunger in his eyes, searing deep into my eyes where I was left bare with nowhere to hide. I pulled him back down to me and kissed him, devouring him with my tongue. He matched my pace, taking control as one hand travelled down over my body, caressing every inch, taking his time.

  “Fuck me,” I whispered to him impatiently. I wanted him now.

  “No,” he returned, kissing me again, his hand still slowly making his way down to my thighs.

  “What?” I asked with confused laugh.

  “I’m not fucking you,” he said moving down to kiss my nipples again.

  “What do you mean?” I groaned with the sensation, confused and utterly turned on.

  “I stopped fucking you a long time ago, Janey,” he said. “We’ll do this my way.”

  My chest ached as he stopped his tongue from devouring me and looked into my eyes. Sheer panic assaulted my senses because I knew I couldn’t handle this version of Will. This was the no holds barred Will; the one that was in love with me. My heart would not survive this moment. I needed it hard and fast, needed to grunt my desperation and passion out.

  “Will –”

  He stopped me from saying anymore by kissing my mouth and taking my words with it. He then braced himself over me with one elbow, while his other hand cupped my cheek as he looked into my eyes. I saw everything in those raw eyes. The love he had for me, the protection he wanted to give me, the care. I was losing again. He had given in to me, to give me what I needed, but he was showing me at the same time that he loved me. He was proving to me that I was going to miss this for the rest of my life.

  Amongst the heavy breathing and the throbbing between my legs, my chest ached. It hurt. The pain radiated through my chest cavity, rendering me to a silent heartbreaking death. I shouldn’t have asked for this; I had wanted something that my mind and body could no longer handle.

  His eyes didn’t break from mine as he slowly entered me, filling me completely like only he could. I wanted to close my eyes and get lost in the purely magical sensation but his eyes didn’t let me. As he moved inside me, his eyes still devouring me, he took everything that I had left within me. All thought and sanity disappeared as I looked up at the man I loved. The man he had become. He drove into me slowly, drawing out every pleasure tingle to its fullest, making me unbearably crazy. It would never be better than this right now and he knew it. I closed my eyes in pleasure but also to stem the tears that were building in them.

  “Open your eyes,” he demanded softly, thrusting into me.

  I couldn’t. The pain and pleasure of it all choked me, sending my brain reeling with the mess I was making. Once an addict, always an addict. Will was my drug of choice; he was the one that I would never be able to give up. I could cope without all the drugs in the world. Except for him. He was at my neck, kissing and then giving me a sharp nip.

  “Open them, Janey,” he demanded.

  I opened my eyes to see him smiling in triumph, his cock now thrusting deep into me. Whether it was his wickedness or just perfect knowledge of my body, I felt the sensation start at my toes. It slowly started to spread up my legs and I groaned.

  “I’m coming,” I gasped.

  He continued to drive into me deep, hitting the spot that only he could reach. I heard his breathing change; his eyes turned glassy as he continued. Warmth flooded throughout my body as I kept my eyes open on him and then I exploded around him. I groaned in desperation and wonderment, my eyes still on his as my heart stopped and breath left m
e.

  He followed me, his face contorting with pleasure and pain as he groaned his release into me. I was suddenly weightless, my limbs without bones as I finally closed my eyes in the pleasure.

  He kissed my lips softly, cherishing me in the aftermath of the deepest, greatest sex of my life. I hadn’t had something that shook the foundations of my mind and body for a very long time. He had opened my eyes to what we could be. If only I let it, but I couldn’t; external forces were holding the cards.

  He slowly pulled out and moved beside me, still holding me close. There were no words from either of us, just touch and the sound of our breathing. This was the moment of pure happiness; the highs that I had tried to obtain chemically, the other bodies I had tried to lose myself in unsuccessfully. It was all pointless compared to this. He had stirred up every emotion that I had ever suppressed, had ever tried to obtain, in one pure moment.

  We heard the front door open and close downstairs and voices belonging to Noah and Ivy.

  “Shit my door is open,” he said getting up from the bed. He walked over in his full naked glory and kicked it closed. He was never one to shy away from showing the muscled tower of his naked body and I revelled in that fact as I watched him return to the bed. He kissed me again and then lay down next to me closing his eyes.

  “I need sleep so badly.”

  It felt so natural to curl up against him and close my eyes but I stopped myself from doing it to avoid any further heartbreak.

  “I need to get to work soon,” I said sitting up.

  He pulled me back down and let out a sleepy sigh. “Just stay for a bit.”

  “I have to sort out my car,” I said, desperately wanting to snuggle back into him. I wanted to enjoy the happiness just for a bit longer, before it was all taken away for good. “I don’t want Jake to get angry if I’m late.”

  “Take my car. It’s just sitting in the garage anyway,” he said with his eyes closed. “And Jake wouldn’t dare get angry at you and if he does, just let me know and I’ll sort him out.”

  His words fell over me in a rain of happiness. This wasn’t someone taking a step back from me. I snuggled back down against him and felt his body mould against mine. I took my time to look him over while his eyes were closed, seeing every bit of skin that I had dearly missed.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about Jake?” I asked after a while, tracing my finger over his chest.

  “You knew I had half-brothers, most people don’t.”

  “I know, but when I started to work at the club.”

  “You needed a job without my complicated family life getting in the way,” he said with a yawn. “Oh, and stay away from Tilly,” he said, his eyes still closed.

  “Why? She’s being nice to me.”

  “I don’t trust her.”

  “She’s in love with Jake.”

  “That’s her biggest mistake yet.”

  “You think he would ever leave his fiancée for her?”

  “No. Stakes are too high for both families, and Tilly is fully aware of the situation.”

  “So, why stay away from her? Sounds like she needs all the friends she can get.”

  “Because she’s loyal to Jake and in the end, to my family. She’d do anything to get into the fold. Step over anyone, including you.”

  I didn’t believe him. No one in their right mind would want to get in the fold of his family with a mother like that. She needed to stay away from that dangerous woman. I think I liked Tilly and realised I would have to tell her what type of mother Jake had.

  “So, what’s downstairs at Disclosure?” I asked next.

  A smirk appeared on his handsome face before his eyes opened and met mine. “I’m not telling you. You’d be down there in a heartbeat, looking around and wanting to see it all.”

  “Wanting to see what?” I pressed.

  “It’s an underground, high class cess pit of sex. If you pay a high enough price, you can have everything your heart or cock desires. No matter how sick or perverted.”

  “Have you been down there?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did you do anything?”

  “I’ve never had to pay for it, Janey and never will,” he said closing his eyes again. He pulled me tighter against him and got ready to sleep. I continued to trail my fingers across his tattoos listening to the steady sound of his breathing.

  “Your mother is a force to be reckoned with, isn’t she,” I stated softly.

  “The worst,” he mumbled, as he drifted off into sleep.

  I stayed for a while longer, enjoying the warmth from his body and the closeness that I didn’t know if I would ever be allowed to feel again. As it got closer to the time to start my shift, I begrudgingly climbed out of bed and got dressed. Will continued to sleep, sprawled out across the bed and I smiled to myself as I looked him over.

  It was a bitter sweet smile though.

  I had felt happiness for the first time in months and now I was going back to my unhappy state, without him. I took one of his singlets and put it on instead of my t-shirt. It was a way to keep him close with me, even though it could be mistaken as a short dress. I left my t-shirt in his room, knowing it was stupid but I just wanted to leave something of myself in there. I left his room, knowing I still hadn’t found out what had happened last night to him.

  “Hey, you,” said Noah in surprise as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

  “Hey,” I said with a smile, stepping down and then kissing him on the cheek.

  “You staying?” he asked.

  “I’ve got to go to work. Will’s asleep,” I said running my fingers through my tangled blonde hair.

  “So…you’re back then?” he asked with a knowing smile.

  I shook my head and put my hands in my back pockets. “No.”

  He gave me a questioning glance and asked, “You sure?”

  “Sure. We’re friends,” I said with a sigh. “I have to get to work and get my car fixed.”

  “What happened to it?”

  “All four tyres were slashed last night,” I said with a shrug. “Shit happens, I guess.”

  “That’s some pretty serious vandalism. Any other cars in the street get the same treatment?”

  “I don’t think so,” I said, realising I hadn’t even looked at any other cars last night. Had it happened to just my car? I would have to ask Tilly when I saw her tonight.

  “Well, Ivy’s in the shower, she’ll be annoyed that she missed you.”

  “Tell her I said hi,” I said, heading towards the front door.

  “We all miss you, you know,” he said. “I miss you.”

  I stopped at the door and swallowed. “I really miss you, too.”

  “You still off the drugs? You’re looking good.”

  I nodded and asked, “You?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. Everything changes when you find someone I guess.”

  “She’s a lucky girl. See you soon.”

  “Not if I see you first,” he replied. It was a saying that we had shared over the years and it made my eyes fill with tears. I missed the past; I missed my brothers and the boy of my dreams. I headed outside and took a deep breath to console myself. I had to stop this, put on my big girly pants and get on with my life.

  “How you getting to work if you don’t have a car?” he called out after me.

  “Oh shit, Will said to take his car,” I said turning back to him.

  “I’ll get the keys,” he said, going back inside. He was soon coming out and throwing me the keys. “Do some burnouts for me.”

  I grinned and headed over to the garage. It wasn’t long before I was driving down the street in a black Maserati with a smirk on my face. Not only was I driving one of Will’s cars, I was driving a sexy, fast car. If only I could see his mother’s face now; surely she couldn’t ban me from driving his car. I pulled up at Tilly’s condo to see my car was still sitting on the street but now had four brand new tyres on it. I knocked on her door and smiled as she an
swered. “My car is fixed! Did you –”

  “Not me. Some guys came about an hour ago and fixed it up. I only saw them through the window,” she said with a shrug as she left the door open for me to come in.

  Will. He would have organised something. He had been the only one to know this afternoon before we had earth shattering sex. I started to send him a text.

  “Hey, Janey.”

  I looked up to see Jake putting his t-shirt on and grabbing his keys.

  “Hey,” I said, hoping I hadn’t disturbed them, my text forgotten.

  He gave a quick kiss to Tilly and then smiled at me. “See you girls soon.”

  “See you,” I said watching him leave.

  “So how was your afternoon?” asked Tilly.

  “He doesn’t have any tattoos,” I said turning to her. “Will’s covered in them.”

  “He’s too clean cut for that,” smirked Tilly. “His family would disown him.”

  “Piercings?” I asked next.

  Tilly laughed and answered, “No.”

  “How about you?” I asked.

  “One small tattoo on my shoulder that I would get removed in a heartbeat if it meant being serious with Jake”.

  “He doesn’t like them?” I asked.

  “Hates them.”

  I knew I would never get any of my tattoos removed. Each and every one meant something to me. No matter if my partner hated them, they were a part of me.

  “Will is definitely the outcast of the family with all his tattoos,” she continued with a smirk.

  I raised my chin and smirked right back. “Every tattoo on that body is beautiful. Each one a piece of art.”

  “I see he has grown out the mohawk,” she said next.

  I wanted to know where she had seen him lately but stopped myself from asking. “Nothing wrong with being the outcast of the family. I’m one too. We’re resilient beings.”

  She walked off to her room with a smile and said, “I’m taking a shower.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you at the club soon then.”

  I sent a text to Zac instead as I left the condo.

  Janey – Did Will sleep with Tilly from Disclosure?