Signs of Love

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  Caden wasn't in any rush to get to bed. He seemed to take forever to brush his teeth and change into his pajamas. Though it was a bit awkward, with their home-school year done, Alana had been trying to read to him each night. They were currently reading through the Chronicles of Narnia. She'd bought the ebooks on his old tablet and had been able to re-download them onto the new one. Caden would hold his tablet so she could see the words and sign them for him. She tried to be even more animated than normal as she read about Aslan, Lucy, Peter, Susan, and Edmond.

  Finally, he snuggled down under his covers, his eyelids drooping. Alana bent over and brushed a kiss on his cheek.

  "Love you, baby."

  When she left the bedroom, she discovered the rec room was empty and everything had been cleaned up. She listened for any sort of movement from upstairs, but when she heard nothing, Alana tried to keep her disappointment from spreading. With a sigh, she returned to the room and quietly picked up her laptop from where she'd left it earlier. She might as well try to get some work done.

  She also grabbed the earbuds that had come with her phone so she could listen to some music. Caden knew to come find her if he woke up. Telling herself to be grateful that her son had had such a great evening, Alana sat down on the couch with her legs crossed to support her laptop. She plugged the earbuds in and then slipped them into her ears. Once she'd loaded her YouTube playlist, she opened up her blog and began to work on the one for the next day.

  She'd been working for about five minutes when someone moved into her line of sight beyond the laptop screen. Alana jerked in surprise, her leg almost kicking Justin where he'd lowered himself into a crouch in front of her. He moved quickly, however, and grabbed her before she made any contact, his fingers wrapping completely around her ankle. When he didn't release her foot right away, Alana pulled the earbuds from her ears.

  "What are you doing?" Justin asked, his thumb stroking the skin on the inside of her ankle.

  "Working. Uh...I thought you'd left."

  His eyebrows rose before drawing down. "You thought I'd leave without saying goodbye?"

  Her gaze dropped from his for a moment. That was exactly what she'd thought. "I realize it took me a little while to put Caden to bed."

  He seemed to consider that before saying, "I had planned to take you out to see a late movie. Beth said she and Dan would stay down here to listen for Caden. Did you still want to go?"

  Alana's heart skipped a beat. Not only had he not left, he had actually planned something for just the two of them. "Yes. I'd like that."

  She slid the laptop from her lap onto the couch beside her and shut the lid. He gave her ankle a gentle squeeze before releasing it.

  "If we leave now, we can still make the show," Justin said as he straightened.

  "Let me just grab my purse and my shoes."

  "I'll meet you upstairs."

  She watched him walk away then snatched up her laptop and hurried to the bedroom. She put it on the dresser and found her sandals and purse. Unable to help herself, Alana took a quick detour into the bathroom to make sure her hair was okay and to swipe on a bit of the lip gloss the ladies had bought her. By the time she came out again, Beth and Daniel were settling on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn. Daniel had the remote in his hand.

  "Have fun." Beth grinned at her. "And don't worry about anything here. If he wakes up and needs you, we'll send a text."

  "Thank you," Alana said as she tried to keep her nerves under control. She went up the stairs and found Justin waiting by the front door.

  "Ready to go?" Justin asked as she joined him.

  She nodded, grasping the strap of her purse tightly. Justin opened the door and motioned for her to precede him out of the house. They walked in silence to his truck where he also opened the door for her and waited as she settled herself into the seat before closing it.

  Since it was already after nine, the sun had pretty much disappeared, leaving only the gray of twilight behind. Alana couldn't remember the last time she'd been out so late, and it was going to be even later when she got home.

  "Thank you for playing those video games with Caden earlier," she said as Justin backed his truck out of the driveway.

  "To be honest, it was even more fun than I thought it would be. It's been awhile since I've done something like that."

  "He thought you might be letting him win."

  Justin glanced over at her. "Did he now?"

  "Yep. Were you?"

  “Well, here's the thing. I did tell Dan that we should take it easy on him at first, but that was before we realized that the kid needed absolutely no help in beating us."

  "Really? I'm surprised he did so well since he doesn't have a machine to play on regularly. Or were you guys just that bad?"

  Justin's chuckle took her by surprise. "Well, I am better with shooting games than I am driving Mario karts. Actually, though, while Dan and I probably aren't the most adept at that game, Caden more than held his own."

  "He had a lot of fun and really, that's all that matters. I think he would have had just as much fun if he'd lost every race."

  "I'm glad to hear it." Justin lapsed into silence for a bit then said, "What are some other things he might enjoy doing? Does he like to ride bikes or swim?"

  Alana sighed. "He did enjoy those things but hasn't had much chance to do either in a couple of years. Once a month or so he goes to his friend's house and they have a pool so he swims there. But there wasn't really anywhere for him to ride a bike where we lived. I've taken him mini-golfing a couple of times, and he's enjoyed that."

  "I haven't been mini-golfing in years," Justin commented. "That might be something fun for us to do."

  “I'm not the greatest golfer," Alana admitted. "We usually just play the holes without keeping score."

  Alana felt warmth spread through her. She just wanted to pinch herself to make sure she was really awake and not dreaming all of this. Loneliness over the past two years had filled her with a longing to one day have someone who understood that she and Caden were a package deal and would care for—maybe even love—them both. She found herself hoping with all her heart that Justin might be that someone.

  “Definitely something worth looking into," Justin said. "I was going to give you a choice of movies tonight, but it looks like we'll miss getting there in time for the romantic comedy. I hope action adventure is okay with you."

  Action adventure was more than okay with her. Romantic anything wouldn't have been her choice to watch, especially on a first date. "That's fine. I enjoy action adventure and, depending on the film, even sci-fi."

  "Well, that's good. Beth had thought you'd want to see the romantic comedy. That sister of mine is into all the chick flicks and romantic stuff. I don't know how Dan watches movies with her."

  "I'm guessing through his eyelids," Alana said with a laugh. "When I went upstairs the other night, Beth was watching some movie that was making her cry, but Daniel was asleep next to her on the couch."

  They discussed movies they'd enjoyed for the rest of the trip. It sounded like Justin didn't go to the movies any more frequently than she did. When he pulled the truck to a stop in the parking lot outside the theater, he told her to wait then he got out of the truck and came around to open her door.

  He held her hand as she slid out of the truck but released it once she was on her feet. She missed the warmth and strength of his grasp as they started toward the doors of the theater, but then she felt his hand land lightly on her back and decided that that was nice too.

  Inside the theater, Justin bought them tickets and then moved her in the direction of the concession stand. "Do you want some popcorn?"

  Her pause as she inhaled the scent of buttery goodness was obviously enough to convince him that she did indeed want the treat. She stood beside him as he ordered popcorn with extra butter and two drinks. Once he'd paid, he handed her the drinks and picked up the popcorn. Again his hand rested on her back just at her waist as he guided her t
o the theater where their movie was showing.

  As they walked into the theater, Alana stared at the seats. They looked like recliners. Exactly how long had it been since she'd last been in a theater? Last time she'd gone they'd had nothing like this.

  Since the movie had been out for a few weeks, there wasn't much of a crowd and they ended up being alone in their row. Once the movie started, they reclined their chairs. Alana drew up her legs and turned slightly in her seat to make room for the bucket of popcorn. Justin reached across periodically to grab a handful.

  When several minutes had passed without him reaching for more, Alana glanced over at him, surprised to see his eyes were closed and his chest rose and fell in even breaths. As she thought back over their dinner conversation, she realized in all likelihood that he'd been up since early that morning. No wonder he was tired.

  She set the popcorn on the empty seat next to her and then shifted so her head rested near his shoulder. His right arm lay on the divide between their seats while his left hand was on his abdomen. Before Alana could question the wisdom of such a move, she reached out and let her hand rest lightly on top of his. When his hand turned over, allowing their fingers to intertwine, she shot a look at him, but his eyes were still closed.

  Deciding not to read anything into whether or not it was a conscious movement on Justin's part, Alana snuggled closer to the arm rest where their hands lay. She turned her attention to the action on the screen and found herself actually enjoying the movie for the next little while.

  It didn't bother her at all that Justin had fallen asleep. She was actually touched that he'd been willing to let his day go so long just to spend some time with her. This week had been the first time she'd ever experienced people doing things for her because they wanted to. She'd always felt like anything her parents, siblings or even Craig had done for her had been from a sense of obligation or expectation.

  Craig had always expected her to show off any gift he gave her. Maybe others thought the jewelry and nice clothes had meant Craig was a good husband who loved her, but Alana had known better. Those gifts had not been motivated by love for her. They had all been to make Craig look good. She would gladly have given it all up if he'd just showed her an ounce of affection or love. At least in the first couple of years of their marriage. By the time their third anniversary had rolled around, she didn't want anything from him but to be left alone.

  Suddenly, she became aware of Justin's thumb stroking the back of her hand. Alana realized her grip had tightened as her thoughts had wandered to her past. She relaxed her fingers, darting a look at Justin. His eyes were open now, watching her instead of the action on the screen.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  "Sorry," Alana whispered, not certain he could hear her over the movie, but when he gave her fingers a quick squeeze, she thought he might have. Now that he was awake, she started to straighten but when his grip on her hand tightened, she relaxed back, her shoulder brushing against his arm.

  When the credits began to roll, Alana was pretty sure the good guys had won, but honestly, her nerves had kicked in again and distracted her from the last part of the movie. As they stood to leave, she waited for Justin to pull his hand from hers, but instead, he didn't release it until they reached his truck.

  Alana struggled with the nerves fluttering in her stomach and the rush of emotion that holding hands with Justin brought to the surface. Had she ever held hands with someone the way she had with Justin? Oh, she'd held hands plenty with Caden, but it had always been about her keeping him close. This time around, it had felt like Justin was keeping her close to him.

  "Sorry about drifting off in there," Justin said as he pulled the truck out into the late-night traffic.

  "There's nothing to apologize for. I'm sure you've had a long day."

  "I have. I just don't want you thinking it was because of the company."

  "I didn't think that at all. I figured it had more to do with those super comfy seats."

  Justin chuckled. "They were pretty amazing, weren't they? I haven't gone to a movie in...years, I think, so they were a surprise to me."

  "Me, too."

  "So in spite of my falling asleep, you had a good time?"

  "A great time, Justin, thank you."

  "Great enough that you might want to do it again sometime?"

  Alana looked over at him just as he glanced her way. "Yes. I would like that."

  "Good. I'd like that too."

  By the time they pulled into the driveway at Beth and Daniel's, the nerves and emotions she'd been experiencing earlier had almost faded away. At Justin's request once again, she waited for him to open her door. He took her hand to help her out but didn't release it this time until they were inside the house.

  Alana walked down the carpeted steps to the basement, Justin behind her. She came to an abrupt halt at the bottom of the stairs, glancing up at Justin before looking to where Daniel sat on the couch with Beth curled up in his lap, kissing her.

  She was too embarrassed to interrupt them, but Justin clearly had no problem doing it. He grinned at her then cleared his throat.

  "I think you've scandalized Alana," he said as Daniel helped Beth off his lap.

  Daniel laughed. "No need for that. We were just kissing. We’re allowed."

  Alana had witnessed the affection of these two before and had actually appreciated seeing proof of how a real loving marriage should be. But somehow witnessing it with Justin at her side made it a bit more awkward.

  "Caden was okay?" she asked as Beth leaned into her husband's side when Daniel slipped his arm around her.

  "Never heard a peep out of him," her friend assured her.

  "Well, we'll leave you two to say goodnight," Daniel said as he and Beth walked toward the stairs. "Justin, come up and see me before you go."

  Justin stepped aside to let them pass him. "Will do."

  Alana gripped her purse, the nerves from earlier were back in full force. She looked at Justin and found him watching her. "Thank you again for this evening. Both Caden and I really enjoyed it."

  "I did too. I'll give you a call to set up something else."

  Alana nodded. She watched as his gaze dropped to her lips momentarily and for a moment she thought he might kiss her. But instead he took a step back. She was equal parts disappointed and relieved—a feeling she was getting very familiar with. He seemed to understand that she needed this to move slowly. After all, they hadn't known each other all that long. Holding hands was about all she could handle right then.

  He reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb sweeping across her cheek. His features softened as he looked at her. "Sleep well."

  She laid her hand on top of his and pressed her cheek against his palm. "You too. Drive safe."

  He gave her a gentle smile before turning to climb the stairs to the main floor where Daniel waited to talk with him. Alana scooted into the bathroom and closed the door. She leaned back against it, pressing the palms of her hands against the smooth wood. Closing her eyes, she let out a long sigh. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this way. Even though she'd been nervous, being with Justin had also felt right. There had been no fear or anxiety that he'd suddenly turn on her. She'd felt...safe.

  Relishing the warmth that spread through her at the thought, Alana went to the vanity and looked in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright. She couldn't help but smile at herself. And the smile stuck even as she removed her makeup and brushed her teeth.

  She pulled on a pair of leggings and a baggy T-shirt and quickly braided her hair before slipping between the sheets and curling on her side. Slowly the excitement of the evening mellowed and left her with a drowsy happiness.

  Though Alana knew she should have worked on her blog, she pushed it out of her mind. She didn't publish it until later in the day anyway, so she'd tackle it in the morning. Right then she just wanted to savor the memory of her evening with Justin. For the first time in a long time, she had a feel
ing of hope and anticipation for the future.

  ~*~*~

  Justin laid out the strips of bacon on the cookie sheet, keeping one eye on Caden as he made circles with the pancake batter on the griddle. When the oven signaled it was at the right temperature, he opened the door and slid the two cookies trays in. It certainly wasn't the way his mother used to make bacon, but he'd seen the women in the cafeteria at the compound do it this way and had asked them about it. He wasn't the world's greatest cook, but he had a pretty good handle on the breakfast menu.

  Caden glanced over at him once he'd finished pouring the last pancake. Justin smiled and gave him a thumb's up. The boy was a quick learner and now on this second batch, he already had the circles looking nearly perfect. He picked up the spatula and with careful movements lifted the edge of a pancake to check it just like Justin had showed him.

  He hadn't planned to still be at Dan and Beth's this morning, but when Dan had offered him a place to crash the night before, he had been too tired to turn him down. Unfortunately, his internal alarm clock had still had him up at six o'clock, so after spending some time on his phone reading email, he'd decided to make breakfast for the household.

  He'd been in the middle of pulling out the ingredients to make the pancakes when he'd spotted Caden watching him from the doorway, his tablet clutched to his chest. He had waved him over and after a short conversation on the tablet, he'd scored himself a helper. They made quite a pair—Caden dressed in Spiderman pajamas and him wearing a pair of long, athletic shorts from Dan and one of his tank tops that read Keep Calm and Love Your FBI Agent across the front. He hadn't even realized what it said until after Dan had disappeared into the master bedroom. He didn't doubt that Dan had had a good chuckle at his expense.

  The shirt revealed his tattoos, and Caden's eyes had gone big when he'd first seen them. Justin had stooped down to his level so the boy could see them more closely. He'd traced his finger along the black ink, curiosity clear on his face. When he'd asked what they meant, Justin had taken the time to type out what each tattoo represented to him. Now he had to hope Caden didn't go asking Alana for a tattoo. He could only imagine her reaction to that.