Dart and Dash

by Mary Smith

  “Liar,” I screamed out. “You lied to me.”

  Adrenaline pumped faster through my body. It was a mixture of anger and agony. I rubbed my temples as the pain pulsed through my head. My ears were ringing. It was like Dart was telling me those words again in my head.

  “No,” I hollered out to the silence. I jerked my closet open, found an old baseball bat, and grabbed it.

  I’d heard of blind rage before, but I’d never known what it truly meant. My brain wasn’t thinking of anything, except that I was mad at my brother.

  I kicked his door open and broke it off its hinges. I looked around the room. Perfectly clean, everything in place. The only thing out of the ordinary was a few wrinkles in the bedding.

  “You left me,” I growled out to the empty room.

  I swung the bat, and it connected with the dresser. Again and again, I used all my strength to smash it. Clothes and wooden pieces flew through the air until it was completely apart.

  I wasn’t done. I still felt the pent-up tension in my body. It wasn’t going away. I needed it to go away. The tension told me that I still had feelings, and I didn’t want any at all.

  One strike of the bat and Dart’s desk broke in half. I continued to hit it repeatedly until, like the dresser, there was nothing left.

  “I hate you,” I yelled so loud it hurt my throat. I kept swinging the bat. I couldn’t stop myself. I was so mad at Dart, and I wanted him to know it.

  There was only one more dresser in my path. I was going to destroy it like all the others. I raised the bat over my head, and was about to drop it when Garnet leapt in front of me.

  “Dash, stop.” Her brown eyes were wide with fear. Her hands were up trying to stop me.

  “Go away.” I felt the tears that were building up behind my eyes.

  “No, Dash.”

  “I hate him.” My eyes were burning.

  “No, you don’t. You don’t hate him.”

  My lip quivered, and my arms were growing tired with the bat still in the air. “He was my best friend.”

  “I know.” Garnet lowered her hands and reached out to me. “Give me the bat, Dash.”

  “I have no one left.” The first tear rolled down my cheek.

  “Dash, I’m here. I’m right here.” Garnet put her hands over her heart.

  “I’m bad luck. Everyone I love has died. They’re all dead.” I closed my eyes and dropped the bat. I collapsed to my knees and began to sob.

  Garnet wrapped her arms around my neck. I gripped her, and I never wanted to let her go. I rested my head in the crook of her neck. She rocked me telling me it would be okay. I felt her rubbing the back of my head.

  I cried harder, letting every emotion go. The pain, the abandonment, the betrayal I felt all left me through the tears.

  I felt another set of arms on my body, but I didn’t care who it was, as long as Garnet didn’t let go of me.

  I don’t know how long I cried. It could have been one minute or one year, but my tears eventually began to dry. Even though I didn’t release Garnet, I did lift my head up a little.

  Garnet’s eyes were red from her tears, and her nose was the same shade. She gave me a tiny smile as she touched my cheek.

  “I’ll get us something to clean up with.” I turned to see Daisy. She was the other one I felt with her arms around me.

  “Garnet,” my voice was rough from all the tears and yelling. I opened my mouth to say all the words at once, but nothing came out.

  “It’s okay,” she kissed my lips, “I know.”

  I couldn’t express everything. I was unable to speak. I was feeling so much right now. I didn’t know what was happening. I sat down, leaning against Dart’s bed. I adjusted Garnet so that she was sitting on my lap, and I kissed her cheek. She laid her head on my chest. We both looked up as Daisy maneuvered through my damaged path.

  “Here,” she handed each of us a washcloth. We all wiped our faces, and Daisy sat down next to me.

  The three of us stayed in the quiet room. Garnet laid her head back onto my chest. I started to feel the fog that I’d been lost in wasn’t as dense as it had been.

  I saw Garnet holding Daisy’s hand, and I realized that we were connected forever through this tragedy. Garnet tilted her head up. Her beautiful brown eyes looked shinier than they had before.

  “You know,” Daisy broke the silence. “If Dart saw this room right now, he would kick your ass.”

  Since Dart’s death, this was the first time I smiled. “Yes he would.”

  “Why don’t we clean this up, and get something to eat?” Garnet suggested.

  “I’ll get some trash bags.” Daisy slowly rose up from her seat on the floor.

  Garnet went to move, but I held her in place. She furrowed her eyebrows at me. I brushed a piece of hair away from her face.

  “Thank you,” I opened my heart to her. I had more to say, but I held my tongue for now. This wasn’t the exact moment to tell her everything.

  Garnet kissed me hard. “If you really want to thank me, take a shower.”

  “Deal.”

  Daisy came back into the room and we started our cleaning project. It took almost four hours, because the more we went through Dart’s stuff, the harder it seemed to be.

  I found old photos, some of our trophies from peewee football, and even some old cards that I had given him when we were teenagers. Daisy broke down when she found a box of every note, card, and letter she had ever given him.

  Garnet asked if I wanted to donate any of his stuff, but I shook my head. I couldn’t let any of his things go just yet.

  It was too soon.

  Chapter 31 – Garnet

  Daisy told me she wanted to be alone. I hugged her and watched her leave with the box from Dart’s room. She didn’t even want to eat with us.

  I did worry when she shut our front door, but I knew she needed to work through it on her own. She was strong, and I could see it.

  When I shut Dash’s front door, I laid my head on the cool wood. Exhaustion was starting to take its toll on me. I had been running between two houses, sick with worry, and was barely eating myself. Not to mention, I was trying to stay current with my classes.

  “I left a message with Coach. Are you all right?” Dash had walked up behind me.

  “Yep,” I turned, putting on the smile. “Do you want to eat?”

  He nodded, and we went to the dining room. I had ordered pizza because it was quick and easy. I set out a bottle of water for each of us. I knew I was huge hypocrite because I threw away all the alcohol. But I didn’t want to see Dash would ruin his life.

  When my mom died, my crutch was drinking. I was rebelling and being reckless. Dash and Daisy were different than I was. Dash was still holding a small open wound from his parents’ death. Dart’s death had made that even worse for him. Dart had been his rock. He’d kept Dash sane and didn’t let him go over the edge. Without him here, I knew Dash would lose it, and he had.

  I watched him as he inhaled three pieces of pizza. I was happy to see him eat. I was even more ecstatic that he had showered. Before she left, Daisy had suggested he call the coach.

  “Do you think you’re off the team?” I hated to ask the question that was hanging in the air, but I knew he was thinking it, too.

  “I don’t know. I mean I’ve missed two games, all those practices, plus I haven’t worked out since Dart,” he stopped, dropping the pizza back onto the plate.

  “I’m sure that it will work out.” I squeezed his hand. “Marshall isn’t going to kick off their best wide receiver.”

  He took my hand and studied it. Dash traced his fingers along the inside of my palm. I didn’t know what he was searching for, but he continued the motion for a full minute.

  “Garnet…I…” I could hear all the emotions in his voice.

  “I know,” he didn’t have to say thank you to me. I knew he was hurting and hadn’t meant any of it. He lost his brother, his best friend.

  “Thank you.”r />
  “Always.”

  “Will you stay with me tonight?” I could hear the hope in his voice.

  I nodded. “Let me just go and check on Daisy.” I gave him a quick kiss and jogged across the street.

  I didn’t see Daisy on the first floor, so I went up to her room. I gently knocked on her door. When there was no answer, I slowly opened it. Daisy was asleep on her bed. Her soft snores brought me some relief. I never thought Daisy would ever hurt herself, but one could never be sure when it came to the loss of a soulmate.

  I pulled the blanket up around her neck, when I noticed something under her head. It was her cell phone, and it was blinking. I removed it from her pillow and the display read, ‘My Dart’.

  I hit the green dial and Dart’s voice mail picked up.

  Hey, this is Dart. You can’t reach me because I am with the love of my life, Daisy. Leave a message.

  It was a strange feeling hearing his voice. Almost like a ghost was in the room. I looked down at Daisy and even in her sleep, I could see the pain on her face. I laid the phone back by her head and went back over to Dash’s house.

  Dash was standing at the top of the stairs looking into Dart’s room. I wasn’t going to startle him, so I walked up the stairs gingerly.

  “You know, when we first moved in here Daisy was trying like hell to decorate.” Dash was still staring into the room. “Of course, I was like hell no, but Dart let her decorate his room. Hard to believe we have been in this house for two years.”

  When I reached the top of the stairs, I looked into the room. It was so bare. We had taken out the smashed dresser and desk, making the left side of the room empty.

  “Coach called,” his sad eyes turned to me. “He wants to see me tomorrow at his house.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I rubbed my hand up and down his back, showing him that I was listening.

  “Will you go with me?”

  “Of course. Why don’t we get some rest?” I guided him to his bedroom. “I see you changed the sheets.” I teased him.

  “Yeah, I think I need to clean the room sometime soon.” He gave me a small smirk. It made my heart skip seeing a touch of the old Dash gleaming through his sadness.

  “I’ll let it slide this time,” I continued to joke with him.

  We crawled into bed, and instantly I curled up into him. His woodsy smell brought comfort to me. I had missed this part of him. Dash clicked the light off; there was a dim glow from the streetlights outside.

  Dash’s fingers softly rubbed up and down my arm. My stomach flipped at his tender touch. This was the Dash that I loved.

  Loved?

  Did I love Dash?

  Yes, I truly did.

  I stared at his face. For the first time since Dart’s death, he looked relaxed. This wasn’t something that I could say to him right now. He’d had enough to deal with, and I couldn’t bring any more stress to him.

  Chapter 32 – Dash

  I sat at the large glass top kitchen table across from my head coach. He was an older man, with salt and pepper gray hair. I watched him twist his cup around his hands pondering the question that I just asked. Garnet was next to me, looking at him, too.

  “Dash, you know I don’t beat around the bush, so let me tell you how it is.” He leaned in closer to me. “You’re not off the team, but I do have a big concern.”

  “What?” My heart raced wondering what it was.

  “You’ve missed a lot of classes. Now, I know the professors will work with you, but I’m worried about your eligibility.”

  I fell back in my seat. This was getting worse.

  “Dash, I don’t know what to say about the loss of Dart. You know I’m truly sorry about that, but,” he paused for a second. “There will be two NFL scouts at Saturday’s game, and they’re there to see you. As much as I want you to play, I won’t let you if you’re not caught up in your classes.”

  I didn’t know what to say. I had missed a lot of lectures, and I knew there was going to be a lot of homework to catch up on. This was going to be tough.

  “You have until Friday to get caught up, and you can’t miss any more practices.”

  I took a deep breath and remembered Dart’s words to me: I’m proud of you.

  “I can do it.” My voice was firm and full of confidence. “I know I can get caught up by Friday.”

  “Then I’ll see you at practice in the morning.”

  Garnet and I drove back to my place. Daisy let us use her car, because I still couldn’t get into Dart’s car, and my bike was totaled in the accident. We sat in her driveway for a moment, listening to the sounds of the traffic around us.

  “You can do this, Dash. It’ll be a rough week, but I’ll help you in any way that I can.”

  I rubbed my hands against the slight scruff on my face. “I need to get organized.”

  “Well, let’s do that.” She hopped out of the car.

  We jogged across the street to my house. I gathered all my books, papers, and folders that were scattered all over the house. We relocated to the dining room, and we began to separate the stuff.

  It was almost twenty minutes before we finally reached the bottom of the pile. Dart had always been the most organized of us. Even though I knew where stuff was, I never put it back in its right place. I was the same way with my schoolwork. I knew what I had to do; I just needed to be more organized.

  “You weren’t lying when you said you needed to do this.” Garnet stared at the five piles in front of us.

  “Dart was better at this stuff than I ever was.”

  “Well, let’s get started.” Garnet picked up the pile closest to her, and began looking at the syllabus.

  “I brought the pizza.” Daisy shouted, coming through the front door.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked as she sat two boxes down on the other end of the table.

  “Garnet texted me and told me a little bit about what was going on. Are there really going to be scouts at the game?”

  “According to Coach, yes.”

  “Well, Dart,” she paused composing her thoughts. “He always told me how great it would be to see you in the NFL, and I know he wouldn’t let you fail. Dart would have been there for Garnet if something had happened to me, so,” a tear escaped her and rolled down her cheek. “I’ll be here for you.”

  “Thank you, Daisy.” I meant it, and she was right. Dart would have done anything for Garnet.

  “But, let me tell you something,” she pointed her finger right into my face. “We’ll not miss another Sunday together. Next week, we’re back at it.”

  I gave her a small smirk. “You have my word.”

  “Good,” she snapped back. “Now where do we begin?”

  We went in.

  After five hours, two pizzas, and a twelve pack of Pepsi, we had made a small dent in the work that was waiting for me. The girls actually didn’t do work for me, even though I might have asked. However, they did skim over some of the reading, and that helped me out.

  “I need a break.” I threw the pen down and finished off my pop.

  “I’m going to run over to my house and finish my work up. If you need any more help, just text me.” Daisy said, got up from the table, and left.

  I went into the living room and lay down on the couch. This was going to be a long week, and I had to do it. Not only for me, but for my brother too. We had always known that Dart wasn’t going into the NFL, but he’d always known that I wanted to.

  I put my arm over my eyes, thinking about Dart and me as kids. We were twelve, and lying in Dart’s bed, like we always did. My head was at the footboard and his at the headboard. We had an assignment in school that week about where we wanted to be when we were forty. At that time, forty was old, but I knew one thing, I was going to be in the NFL. I was going to have six motorcycles, and a Lamborghini to drive to the games. I even wrote about my mansion on the hill. In my paper, it was all about possessions and my future career.

&nbs
p; Dart was different. His was about having a family, taking his future children to watch my NFL games, and being married to his soul mate. He was strange to think of a crazy thing at that age.

  I had laughed at him when he told me his, but when I told him mine, he nodded. He told me he knew that I’d make it. That was my twin brother, always my number one fan. Right by my side, no matter what I did, or how fucked up I was.

  “Dash,” Garnet softly touched my chest. “You okay?”

  I removed my arm from my face. “Yep,” I choked out.

  Her tiny hands wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn’t even realize that I’d been crying.

  “Lay with me.” It wasn’t a question; it was more like a request.

  Garnet’s plump lips gave me a small smile, and she curled into my side. The smell of cherries and honey calmed my rattled nerves.

  “I can do this, right?” Even though I’d had confidence before, I heard all of my fears in my voice now.

  Garnet rose up onto her elbow. “The Dash Terrance I know doesn’t doubt himself. You’re going to grab this football by the laces and run it in for a touchdown.”

  “Well,” I chuckled. “I don’t quite catch it by the laces, but thank you for the vote of assurance.” I kissed her for head.

  “Dash, stop worrying. It’s going to be fine. You can do it. I know that you can.” She gave me a soft kiss on my lips. I felt a small stir in my pants.

  Garnet started to pull away, but I held her close. I pressed my lips harder against hers. She moaned when I drove my tongue inside of her mouth. I gripped her leg, pulling it over my hip.

  Garnet was in a long black cotton skirt. I tugged it all the way up to her hips, and pushed her down on me, letting her feel how hard I was for her.

  “Dash,” she panted, rocking her hips. “We need a condom.” She started to move, but I stopped her.

  “I have one.” I rose up, reached for my back pocket, pulling out my wallet, and found a condom that I kept in there.

  After I rolled it on, I moved Garnet’s thong out of the way, and she sank down on me. She rocked harder against me, and her tightness held me in place inside of her. The music in the living room was our grunting, panting, and the squeaky springs of the couch.