Craig [Gilham Pack: 3]

by Catherine Lievens

  The wolf whimpered and sat down. Craig watched in awe as the air shimmered around it, just like it did rising from the asphalt in a too-hot day. The wolf’s muzzle shortened, his ears disappeared in his skull, his fur in his skin. His paws shifted into strong, tanned hands and Craig sucked a breath in.

  He recognized the man that was kneeling in front of him—how could he not? He’d already fought with Thomas a few times after all. “Thomas?”

  “You know dad?”

  “You can say it like that, I guess.”

  Craig tried to keep his eyes away from the masculine body that was stretching in front of him as Thomas got up, but it was a hard thing to do. Thomas was exactly the type of man Craig usually went for, except for his less than amiable personality.

  He was bigger than Craig, both in height and in bulk. His chest was dusted with a sprinkle of blond hair that gleamed in the sun that peeked through the trees, and the trail that led toward his groin made Craig’s mouth water.

  Realizing he had been staring, Craig looked down, hating himself when he felt his cheeks heat. He wouldn’t have had problems letting Thomas know he’d been watching if Elias hadn’t been there with them. But the kid was there, and he had no intentions on hitting on his father, not even after what Elias had told him about Thomas’s love life.

  “Now, are you going to finally tell me what’s wrong with you?” Elias said, snapping Craig back to his current situation.

  “I’ll be going then.” Craig saw Thomas open his mouth and close it again. It looked like the man wanted to say something, so Craig stopped, taking care of keeping his eyes above waist level. “What is it?”

  “Are you and Jago together?”

  Craig’s eyebrows rose in surprise. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but it hadn’t been that. “What’s it to you?”

  Thomas shook his head. “Nothing. Just wondering.”

  Craig could see it was important for Thomas, although he couldn’t fathom why. He also couldn’t understand why he had the sudden urge to reassure the man that there was nothing between him and Jago and that he was free to do whatever Thomas wanted him to do. “Nope.”

  Thomas looked at him, his eyes burning with an emotion Craig couldn’t identify. “What?”

  “No, I’m not with Jago.”

  Thomas’s eyes widened and the tension Craig had noticed in him seemed to bleed out of his body. He didn’t know why it was so important to Thomas, but he felt relieved at the man’s reaction. Most of all, though, he felt confused. Why was what Thomas thought and wanted so important to him? He couldn’t even stand the guy, not after what had happened during their previous encounters.

  “Okay, uh, thanks for telling me I guess.”

  Craig nodded and finally, finally managed to walk away. He frowned all the way back to the house, his thoughts running around his mind. He didn’t even notice Duncan until he literally ran into him.

  Craig’s hand shot forward and grabbed Duncan’s elbow, straightening him. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

  Duncan chuckled. “Yeah, I see that. What’s on your mind for you to not be aware of your surroundings?”

  Duncan was right, it wasn’t like Craig to be completely oblivious. He’d been trained not to be, and even if he felt secure in the pack territory, he still should have known Duncan was so close to him. He racked a hand through his hair, the short strands tickling his palm. “I’m confused.”

  “‘Bout what?”

  “Thomas.” The name had escaped Craig’s lips before he could stop himself.

  Duncan’s left brow rose in question. “Thomas, huh?”

  “Yeah. The few times I talked to him he’s been an ass, but his son told me a few things that make me think he might have too much on his mind to be nice at the moment.”

  “We’re all aware there’s something going on with Thomas, but he hasn’t talked to anybody about it as far as I know. He hasn’t always been this bad.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t think so.” But why was knowing that Craig wasn’t with Jago so important for Thomas?

  “Elias told you what the problem was?”

  Craig looked at Duncan. “I don’t know if he told me everything, but I guess I have a very good idea about what’s bothering Thomas now, and I don’t know what to do with the knowledge.” He didn’t know Thomas after all, so why should he bother helping him? If it weren’t for the feeling that he had to help the wolf shifter, that it was somehow important for Craig’s future, he probably wouldn’t have meddled.

  Duncan’s eyes were inquisitive when he asked, “Why do you want to help him?”

  “I have no idea, but I feel like I should do it, or at least try to talk to him without feeling the need to punch him.”

  “Well then, if that’s what you’re feeling, then you should give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen?”

  “Thomas sending me to hell for meddling in something that doesn’t concern me? Or maybe him biting my head off quite literally?”

  Duncan laughed. “Nah, he wouldn’t hurt you... much.”

  “I guess it depends on how much is too much, huh?”

  Craig might not understand what was happening, but he knew one thing. Elias was a sweet kid, and he had trusted Craig with something that was important to him. Even if Craig wasn’t sure he would help Thomas, he knew he would be there for Elias if he needed to talk to someone again.

  * * * *

  Thomas wasn’t sure where to begin. He had thought he would never have this talk with his son, and even if he had, he would have been the one to initiate it. He hadn’t taken his son’s intelligence into consideration, obviously.

  “Dad?”

  “Why do you think I don’t love your mother anymore?”

  Elias shrugged. “It’s kind of obvious. When I was a kid, you’d spend a lot of time together, you talked and other stuff, but lately you’ve been different. I know I shouldn’t pry into your personal stuff, but I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

  “Does Carissa know?” It would make it easier for Thomas if she did, but he didn’t want his little girl to be hurt.

  “I don’t think so. Sure, she noticed you’re fighting a lot more often with mom, but she hasn’t said anything to me.”

  “She can’t talk to you if you spend more time in wolf form than in your human one, Elias.”

  “I wouldn’t spend so much time in wolf form if I didn’t have to run away from your fights and screams. The atmosphere in the house is hard to stand most of the time, plus I’ve been dealing with some personal stuff too.”

  Thomas’s heart squeezed painfully. He’d been so concentrated on not hurting his wife and kids that he had neglected to see they might hurt for things not related to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Yeah, but only after you tell me what’s going on. I’m not a kid anymore, and even if I’m your son, you can talk to me. I won’t... you’re my dad, no matter what. Even with that ridiculous mustache.”

  Thomas barked out a chuckle and raised his hand to tweak one side of his mustache. “I really don’t understand why people don’t like it.”

  “It’s ugly, that’s why.”

  “What?” Thomas’ feigned anger brought back memories of playing around with Elias, and he wished he could have that again. Everything was changing, and that was exactly what Thomas had wanted to avoid.

  The thought cut the laugher bubbling on his lips and he took a shaky breath. He had to talk to Elias, explain what was going on, at least part of it. The other part he wasn’t sure he was ready to share with anyone yet. “Eli...”

  “Come on, dad. Talk to me.”

  So Thomas did. “I don’t think you know this, but your mother and I didn’t really have a choice about getting married. Erskine was already the alpha then, and you already know what his point of view was on marriage and matings.”

  “Yeah. Marry and have as many kids as you can to get the pack’s numbers up.�
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  “Exactly.” Thomas sat down on the grass, wriggling a bit when it tickled places that shouldn’t be tickled but finally finding a comfy enough position. He didn’t have any problems being naked in front of Elias, but he did wish he had some underwear on hand. Grass was not made to come in close contact with his dick.

  “I was only nineteen at the time, but for Erskine I was old enough to get married. I loved your mother, I still do, just... I don’t think I ever loved her like I should have. Still, we didn’t have a choice, and I hoped I would fall in love with her with time.”

  “But you didn’t.”

  Thomas opened his mouth to protest. It was engrained in him to do it, to try to convince everyone he loved Laura, but Elias shut him up by talking again. “Hey, I know you love mom, and us. Anyone can see that. I just understand that loving her and being in love with her are very different things.”

  “I thought I was in love with her for a very long time, though. I guess you’re smarter than I am.”

  Elias smirked. “That’s nothing new.”

  Thomas reached out and ruffled his son’s hair. Elias yelped and leaned back, but the smile on his face made Thomas feel better about what he was doing. He hadn’t realized how his refusal to admit something was wrong had affected the other people in his life until then.

  “What made you realize you didn’t love her like a husband should?”

  Thomas hesitated. What he was about to say would be the hardest part of all, the one that could mean Elias would reject him. Still, he owed it to his son to be completely honest. “Everything was perfect for years, or at least I thought so. Then, when you were about nine or ten years old, Erskine found out that one of the pack members was gay. The man had found his mate and had stupidly thought the alpha would allow him to mate with the man.”

  Elias winced. “That can’t have gone well. I don’t remember any of this, though. What happened?”

  “Erskine booted him out, or rather, he ran away. A few of us had been present when Bill had talked to Erskine, and we made sure he knew he had to go before something bad happened. We helped him pack and leave.”

  “What happened to him?”

  “I have no idea. I haven’t heard of him since then.” Thomas thought about it, about the way Bill’s excitement and admission his mate was a man had made him feel. It had opened his eyes, and he hadn’t been able to close them ever again.

  “What does it have to do with you, though?”

  “It touched a sensitive spot, because I knew how Bill felt, at least up to a certain point.”

  Elias’s eyes were huge, but he didn’t say anything. He wasn’t stupid, and Thomas was sure his son had an idea about what he was trying to tell him. He was glad Elias was letting him do it at his own pace. It wasn’t an easy thing to admit, especially since he hadn’t admitted it to anyone except himself, ever.

  “I... knew I was... I always knew it, and I wished I could have done the same thing as Bill. He might have been shunned, but he had his mate, and he was happy. He made me realize I wasn’t, at least not completely. I suppressed my feelings as much as I could for years, but when Erskine started hinting that he wanted us to have another child, I realized I couldn’t, you know. With your mother. Not anymore.”

  Thomas knew his cheeks were red, he could feel it, and the fact that Elias had fastened his gaze firmly on his hands and was blushing too was almost funny. Almost.

  “We, ah, haven’t... for a while now.” There was no way Thomas was saying more than he already had.

  “Because you’re gay.”

  Thomas cleared his throat, opened his mouth, then cleared his throat again. “Yeah. Yeah, because I’m... gay.” The last word was whispered and Thomas looked down at the grass, afraid of what his son’s reaction would be.

  When long arms slid around his shoulders and Elias’s chin settled on the top of his head, Thomas let go a shaky breath. He hugged his son back, still unable to believe he had finally admitted the truth to someone, to his son.

  “It’s okay, dad. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. I should know, since I think I am.”

  “You think you’re gay?”

  Elias moved away and shrugged. “I don’t know. I think so, but I didn’t really have the opportunity to do anything about it until recently, then there was the thing with you and mom... what are you going to do now?”

  “I don’t know. I tried so hard to fix things with your mother, but it’s obviously not working. I wanted her and you to have a normal life. I didn’t want to hurt any of you.”

  “But you’re hurting yourself. Have you... do you have a boyfriend? Maybe that Jago guy you asked Craig about?”

  Thomas chuckled. “No, no boyfriends. I never... did anything with a guy, well, with anyone other than your mother actually.”

  “You have to tell her. She’ll be hurt, but she’ll understand.”

  Thomas had a hard time believing that his eighteen-year-old son had more wisdom than he had, but the proof was right in front of him.

  “Yeah, I have to.”

  Chapter Three

  Craig wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself.

  He wasn’t part of the pack, so he couldn’t pitch in with the patrols and stuff like that, but he hadn’t yet decided if he wanted to become a member. It left him stuck with nothing to do, and he hated that with a passion, so he went looking for Jago, hoping he could at least have a nice chat.

  The smells floating around the house led Craig straight to the kitchen, where the Elephant shrew was cooking what looked like a stew and washing dishes. Craig lifted the pot lid and took a deep breath, his stomach grumbling and letting him know it was time to eat.

  A wooden spoon smacked his hand, though, and he let the lid fall back in place. “Ouch, what was that for?”

  Jago put his fists on his hips and glared. “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going through that mind of yours, mister. I know you want nothing more than eat my stew.”

  “Isn’t that what you cooked it for in the first place?”

  “Yes, but you’ll have to wait like everyone else.”

  Craig tried to make puppy eyes at Jago, but Jago waved him away, which meant he once again had nothing to do except think, so he slumped on the couch in the living room and closed his eyes.

  Craig didn’t have family or a home, and he very much wanted both. The pack seemed to be a good place to live and make friends, and even if he didn’t happen to fall in love, he knew he would have a family nonetheless.

  He wasn’t sure how the shifters would react to him, especially the ones who had lived all their lives under Erskine’s rules. They might not be welcoming, but Craig hoped they would merely avoid him. He could live with that, and he wasn’t expecting everyone to want to be his friend anyway.

  Plus, there was the fact that he could just leave if he didn’t like it. Craig didn’t like the option, especially since he knew Kameron would count on him to help, but if things really went bad, he still had that option. It wasn’t like he needed to live in a pack out of necessity or because his nature called for it.

  Taking a deep breath, he decided nothing would be gained by waiting to tell Kameron about what he’d decided. He needed more information on what his place would be in the pack anyway, so he headed to the alpha’s office.

  He knocked and waited, but no one answered. Craig was about to turn around and go bug Jago a bit more when the door swung open. He smirked as he took in Zach’s appearance. The man’s T-shirt was wrinkled and askew, and Craig could see the top button of his jeans was open. Zach’s lips were reddened and his eyes huge and just a bit dazed.

  “Yes?”

  “I can come back later if I’m disturbing.”

  “No, no. Come in.” Zach moved to the side and Craig passed by him, barely keeping the laugher that bubbled in his chest when he saw Kameron was still buttoning up his shirt. “Oops. I didn’t know you guys were occupied.”

&nb
sp; “Don’t be a smart ass and sit down,” Kameron ordered, and Craig did as he was asked. The smirk never left his lips, though, not even when Kameron looked up and scowled.

  He settled in the chair and crossed his arms on his chest, waiting for the two men to gather themselves. “So, if I accept to become a member, what will I do exactly?”

  “What are you good at?”

  The smirk on Craig’s face grew. “Oh, I’m good at a lot of things.”

  “I don’t doubt that, but I don’t think we’ll need your expertise in just everything.”

  “Well, you know what I did for the company. I had guard duty mostly, but I also helped training the new recruits.” That was actually one of the few dreams Craig still had. He wanted to be a teacher, and he could help Kameron mold the new recruits the man might add to the pack’s security.

  Kameron leaned back in his chair and Zach slipped into the space he created, sitting on his lap. They looked so comfortable with each other and had no problems showing Craig how much they were in love, and it made Craig want that. He knew he probably wouldn’t find it with a shifter, not when he knew they could find their mates at any moment and leave him, but Gillham wasn’t so small that there wouldn’t be gay humans there. Maybe settling down would do Craig some good on that side too. He would finally be able to have a steady lover, someone he might want to spend the rest of his life with.

  It wasn’t something he had considered before, not with the job he used to have, but it was a possibility that made him want to stay in Gillham even more.

  “So you want to teach? Are we talking kids or adults?”

  “No kids. No offense, but I don’t think I could deal with them. They’re scarier than adults.”

  Kameron chuckled. “I can only agree with that. You could help train the young adults who want to become a part of the pack’s security network. We have twelve possible recruits at the moment and they range from eighteen to twenty-three years old.”

  “That would be better. Do they already have some training?”