A Child to Heal Their Hearts

by Drake, Dianne

  As reality sank in and she realized how much she enjoyed his lingering touch, she unlaced her fingers from his and gripped her coffee cup with both hands.

  “Happily-ever-after is a myth, and when I got married I was in love with the idea of being in love. It’s everywhere you look, everywhere you go. You know, you have to be in love, or be nothing or no one. Television and movies revolve around it; the advertising world makes billions selling it. Mothers teach their daughters that to be fulfilled you have to grow up and marry a Prince Charming, and the bestselling books on the market are all about finding that one true love.

  “So, yes, I bought into it for a little while, but I don’t think I ever really loved him. Not in the traditional sense. If I had, I would have been more involved in our marriage, and fought harder to keep it.” She shrugged. “But I wasn’t involved, although he really should have divorced me rather than cheating. Because I believe in absolutes, and in a marriage that’s one of them. If you do the deed, you do it the right way or you don’t do it at all.”

  She pushed back from the table. “Look, I promised Megan we’d play some games, and right now Sally’s having all the fun with her. It’s my turn. And I was also thinking that now, as she’s feeling better, maybe we could expand our horizons a little since she’s not too happy about being confined. So, you’re the pediatrician. How long before she can go outside?”

  “Today, if she’s up to it. But as the contagion period is four days before the rash and up to four days after, I still don’t want her around the children. So if you could take her out somewhere east of the hospital—we don’t have activities out there today, and it’s a pretty area. I think she should enjoy it.”

  “Yes, if she’s up to it. Or maybe we could sit out on the porch for a while. Whatever works best for her. And you? What’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?”

  “Nature hike down to the river, a picnic lunch, then some well-managed, very tame river-rafting. I have a company coming in this afternoon that specializes in river adventures, and the kids are going to have their first outing in a rubber raft. The gentle kind, not the white-water kind that goes over rocks and waterfalls.”

  “Sounds like fun. They’re going to enjoy it. I know I would have when I was their age.” She smiled. “You take very good care of these children, Reid. They’re fortunate to have you.”

  He certainly knew how to make a difficult childhood bearable, and while her childhood couldn’t compare to what all these kids had gone through, she wondered how she might have benefited from having someone like him in her life when she had been a child. Yes, these children, and especially his daughters, were very, very lucky.

  “It’s not just me. A lot of people are generous with the kids. Tomorrow we’re going on a zip line. You know, when you harness up and zip across a wire from tree to tree?”

  “The kids are all up to it?” she asked, genuinely surprised.

  “It’s the training facility. Very tame, very safe. And like the rafting, I think they’ll love it because it’s something they haven’t been able to do before. Then in a couple of days my medical partner’s coming in, bringing in a few of his horses for the kids to ride. Horseback riding is always a highlight around here and we try to get it in once with every camp session.”

  She laughed. “I’m wondering if you’re wasting your time being a doctor when camp counselor is so definitely your calling.”

  “The way it is now, I’ve got the best of both worlds,” he said, grinning.

  “Yes, I think you do.”

  And he seemed so happy whichever world he was in. That was remarkable, and she wondered how he did it because all his worlds were so vastly different. It spoke of the quality of the man, she supposed. And Reid Adams was quality through and through.

  Yes, Reid Adams was definitely the daddy she wanted for Megan. She knew that for certain and now all she had to do was find a way to convince him of it. After all, for a man who loved being in a family, like Reid did, one more child shouldn’t matter to him. In fact, he should welcome the opportunity...she hoped.

  * * *

  “He’s really a very nice man,” Keera explained to Megan as she settled the child into the porch swing. The compound was empty this afternoon, except for a couple of volunteers puttering around in the gardens, and it surprised Keera how much she missed the activity that had surrounded her these past few days, even though she really hadn’t been out into it very much. And the children. Yes, she actually did miss them as well.

  “And a very good doctor. What I’m hoping is that I can convince him to take you in, then you could come here whenever he does, and you’d also have two sisters.” Of course, at her age Megan didn’t understand all this. In fact, she was dozing off, her head resting on Keera’s lap, so not only did she not understand, she also wasn’t listening.

  But for Keera, hearing her plan expressed aloud made it all the more real to her. While she couldn’t keep this child, and social services didn’t seem to be making any headway in placing her in a suitable situation, Megan was a sweet little girl who deserved better than this limbo she was in right now. Keera wanted the best for her, and every time she thought about that, the only thing that popped into her head was Reid. He was the best. But the arrangement had to be by his choice and not her persuasion. That much she was adamant about. Reid had to do the choosing.

  Of course, that didn’t preclude her from making the right choices for Megan that would help her get chosen for ever.

  “So, what I have in mind is that tomorrow I’m going to go into town and ask him to watch you for a little while, so he can get to know you better now that you’re not feeling so bad. Then the day after that I’ll figure out a way to have him spend even more time with you. I think that, given the way he feels about children, once he gets to know you, he won’t want you going into the foster-care system, the way I don’t want you there either.

  “So when that happens, I’m going to have to rely on you to turn on your girlish charms to help woo him into daddyhood thinking. Think that’s a good plan?”

  Of course, Megan didn’t respond. She was now sound asleep, well past the dozing stage and into a deep slumber, with her breathing heavy and even. Smiling, Keera pushed back the blonde hair from Megan’s forehead and lightly stroked her cheek. So much innocence, she thought. At that age, her own innocence had already been taken from her, by the way she’d lived, by the things she’d seen. She didn’t remember being two, but life around her must have made its impression on her. Even on someone so young. Even on Megan.

  “It’s not going to be easy for you,” she whispered, “but I’m going to make sure you get what you need. I promise, Megan. I may not be the one to take care of you, but I know who is. And you’ll never, ever have to go into the foster-care system.” Easy words, tough challenge. But as a child of the system herself, she knew the life she didn’t want Megan to have. “I promise,” she said again, as Megan curled up in a precious little ball, hugging a teddy bear. It was such a cozy sight, it almost made Keera wish she could be a part of something like it.

  A flash of the two of them together crossed her mind...mother and daughter. Nice thought, but not practical for either of them. Especially not for Megan. And Keera knew better, knew and fully realized her potential as well as her limits, and understood that all this domesticity wasn’t in her. Maybe in fantasy it might be there, but not in reality.

  In some ways, she was her mother’s daughter. At least in those aspects. Megan deserved so much better than that. So much better...

  “You up to a short walk?” she asked Megan later, after she’d rocked her in the swing for an hour and had caught herself enjoying the relaxation. It wasn’t something she did too often—simply sit and do nothing. Admittedly, it had been nice, just existing without an agenda or a to-do list. No patients to take care of, no worries. Just listening to the birds, tak
ing in the magnificent scenery.

  “Mommy,” Megan whimpered in response. “Want Mommy.”

  “I know you do, sweetheart. I know you do. But right now you have to stay with me for a little while longer.” She didn’t know how to tell the child her parents were dead. Telling anyone a loved one had died was the worst, but in her world she dealt with adults. How to do it with a child, especially one so young, she didn’t have a clue. “Let’s walk over to the woods...” Instinctively, she felt the girl’s forehead, not like a doctor but more like a mom, to see if she had a fever. Which she didn’t. “Or we can go back inside. Whichever you want to do.”

  Megan didn’t respond so Keera took her by the hand and led her off the porch and in the direction of the woods. She didn’t expect to go very far, and was surprised how Megan resisted when she’d decided it was time to turn back. So they trudged on, only now Keera was carrying the child, pointing out the very few things she knew about nature...birds, flowers, trees, none identified by their proper name. But Megan was two, so Keera wasn’t too concerned about that.

  “Look at that tree,” she said, putting Megan down and pointing to a giant pine. “It grows needles, not leaves. And pine cones.” She bent to pick up a fallen pine cone then placed it in Megan’s hands. “See how pretty that is? You can keep it if you want to.”

  Megan did look at the pine cone, clenching it tight in her little hands.

  “That’s the seed, Megan,” she explained. “A whole tree can grow from that.” She felt a little silly explaining that to a child too young to understand, but it seemed like the right thing to do. “You plant seeds in the ground, and they grow trees and bushes, even grass and flowers. But this one will grow a tree just like that one.” She pointed to the pine. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “I’m surprised she’s up to it,” Reid called from the trail behind them.

  Keera spun, surprised to see him there. “I thought you were rafting with the kids.”

  “They’re rafting, I’m not. Sometimes I can be...over-protective, let’s call it. The kids don’t need a doctor hovering over them all the time, and that’s really who I am to them. So I stayed through the picnic lunch and made sure they all understood what they were supposed to do. Then let some of the camp volunteers take charge. After that I left.” He grinned. “And nobody noticed I was gone, they were so excited to get on the water.”

  “Poor Dr. Adams, feeling so under-appreciated,” Keera teased. She glanced down at Megan, who was beginning to look weary, leaning hard against her leg and clinging. “I think you’re going to be needed here shortly to carry her back, if that makes you feel any better.”

  “Needed maybe. But only for my brawn.”

  And a very nice brawn it was. “I’m surprised she’s held up this long. But it’s been fun, hasn’t it, Megan?”

  In response, Megan shrugged, then hugged her teddy bear and her pine cone even tighter. “She’s missing...you-know-who.”

  “I expect she would be. So, what have you told her?”

  “Me?” Keera exclaimed. “I can’t tell her. I don’t know how. I mean, she’s too young to really understand, and I expect you’ve got to use the right words so you don’t cause some sort of trauma that would pop up later in her life. So maybe her social worker will have a better idea of how to do it.” Or you, she wanted to say. But she wouldn’t be so presumptuous. Still, if he volunteered, she wouldn’t turn him down.

  “But she’s been asking so she’s going to have to know.”

  “That’s one of the reasons I’m not suited to the job. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Child experts say be honest and simple in your explanation.”

  Keera shook her head. “Not now. Maybe I’m not a child expert, but I don’t think telling her...well, you-know-what is a good idea when she’s still not feeling well. There has to be a right time for it, and I suppose you play that by instinct.”

  “Which in you seems pretty good.”

  “Or resistant. Because I don’t want to.” She lowered her voice and whispered, “I don’t want to break a little girl’s heart.”

  “Maybe you’re right.”

  “I know I’m right, Reid. Now’s not the time.”

  “Then I bow to your instinct, because it’s better than you think. Look, I’m going to run down to the river, it’s only a few hundred yards, and wave to the kids as they float by, then we’ll go back to the infirmary.”

  He scooped Megan into his arms, and urged Keera to follow him. “Just because they don’t need me hovering doesn’t mean I can’t hover a little bit. Right, Megan?” he asked the child.

  She responded by pressing her head to his chest, and it looked right. Like they were meant to be together. In fact, it looked so right it gave Keera some hope that her plan might just work.

  * * *

  Reid knew exactly what Keera was up to. She wanted him to fall in love with Megan then keep her. It was a good plan, and so far Keera wasn’t pursuing it too aggressively, for which he was grateful because while the idea of adopting other children had crossed his mind more than once, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. But he knew that’s what Keera wanted, even though she was about as subtle in her pursuits as anyone he’d ever seen. It was there, though, in her eyes, in the way she looked at him, the way she looked at Megan. Good heart in the right place, but a heart that was a little trussed up.

  Whatever the case, he had faith in her maternal instincts—more than she did, apparently. So he’d go along with her plan for a while, let her continue to think she was pursuing him, but take every opportunity that presented itself to turn that around on her without her knowing he was doing it, and pursue her into mommyhood.

  Now, that was the perfect plan.

  Could he take in Megan, though, if his plan failed? Adopt her, make her his third child? Maybe that was something to consider, a second-best plan. God knew, he knew how to raise a two-year-old. That, and his girls were secure, so in his future he could see fitting one or two, maybe three more children into his family.

  In fact, he’d already approached his daughters with the idea, and they’d put in their order for all girls. Dr. Reid Adams and his half-dozen or so daughters. It brought a smile to his face. And since he wasn’t rushing toward the altar any time soon, adoption seemed the best way to make that large-family dream happen. Then if, somewhere down the line, some woman wanted him, and his daughters...

  But that wouldn’t be Keera, by her own admission, so he was steering clear of her in that regard, as much as he didn’t want to. Steering clear and hoping to hell he could keep his head, his wits, and even his sanity, because Keera was... He thought about all the things he wanted and she was all of them except for the one thing. And that one thing was huge. She didn’t want to be a mother. For him a family with lots of kids wasn’t negotiable, especially as he had already started on the course and was loving it.

  “Here they come,” he said to Megan, as three big, yellow rubber rafts came floating gently around the bend in the river. “Can you wave to them, Megan?” To help her, he raised her right hand and waved it for her.

  “Looking good!” he shouted, as the first raft of children waved and yelled at him. They were all animated, yelling, clapping, wearing orange life-vests and black helmets, having the time of their lives. Briefly, Reid glanced over at Keera, who stood there unaffected, her arms folded across her chest. Staring at the...well, not at the children. And not at Megan. “Bet I can beat you to the next turn in the river,” he shouted.

  “Can’t,” one of the boys shouted back.

  “Can too,” he shouted in return, then passed Megan back to Keera. “Looks like I’ve got to take up the challenge. Sorry, but I think you’re going to have to carry her back to the clinic. She looks like she could stand a good nap, probably sooner rather than later.”

  With th
at, he sprinted off into the trees, leaving Keera standing in the woods holding Megan in her arms. He didn’t go too far, though. Just far enough that she couldn’t see him duck behind a large tree and watch her turn and hike back to her cabin, toting one very heavy little deadweight.

  “I’m on to you, Keera Murphy. And I know I’m right about you. Deny it all you want, but by the end of this week you’re going to be that child’s mother through and through.”

  OK, so maybe his talk was more confident than the way he actually felt, but in his heart he knew that if she only let herself go...

  The shouts of the kids coming from downriver prised him away from watching her, and Reid turned and ran to his next rendezvous point. “Yes, Keera,” he said, as the kids floated into view, “you’re going to discover—”

  “Dr Adams!” came the unanimous shouts from the lead raft. “How’d you get here so fast?”

  “Because I know how,” he said, but not to the kids, as his mind was still on Keera. Sure, he might know how with the kids, but did he know how with her?

  Hell, he didn’t even know why he wanted to know how. But he did. In a big way.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “I’LL BET YOU’LL be glad when life gets back to normal,” Keera said, settling onto the porch swing outside the infirmary door, while Reid was seated in the chair across from it. “I really am sorry I’m disrupting you so much. I mean, you’re not even getting to see your girls as much as you probably want to.”

  “Emmie and Allie are having the time of their lives without me hovering over them, which is what I usually do when I have the chance. And it’s not like they were staying here with me in the first place.”

  “Yes, but you snuck in visits in your free time, and now you’re barely getting any free time.”

  “Well, Emmie, I think, is particularly glad to get away from all that togetherness for a while. She’s growing up, needs her space, even though I’m not ready to give it to her yet. Here, or back home in Sugar Creek. So you being here is a blessing in disguise for them.”