A Child to Heal Their Hearts

by Drake, Dianne

  “That’s good, isn’t it?”

  She shrugged. “It’s what I wanted, initially. No, actually, what I wanted was for you to adopt her. I told you that.”

  “But it didn’t work out.”

  “And now...” Tears suddenly filled her eyes. “Now it’s too late.”

  “But she’ll have a permanent home, Keera. That’s what’s best for her. And I’m sure the social worker was very choosy in picking out the right parents.”

  “She does need parents, doesn’t she?”

  “Or parent. Single parenting has its rewards. If you want to keep her.”

  “I want to do what’s best for her, and I’ve always known it was a home better than the one I could give her.”

  “Yet look at her. She’s eating, perfectly contented to do it by herself. And she seems to be gaining some independence...some of your independence. That’s good mothering, Keera, no matter what you want to call it. You’re teaching her what she needs to know, pointing her in the direction she needs to go, and at the end of the day that’s all a parent can really do besides love and protect them. So, what else did Consuela have to say?”

  “I have to let her know by noon.”

  “That?”

  “That I want to keep her myself—if I want to keep her.”

  “Are you thinking about it?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe. But I’m so confused. Because getting what I wanted—a home for Megan—doesn’t feel as good as it should. It doesn’t feel good at all.”

  “So, let me ask you this. Does Megan make your life better?”

  “I know my life is different now, but in a good way. She gives me balance. And a purpose I didn’t know I wanted, or could have.”

  “And you give her balance.”

  “But it’s all a novelty right now, and that’s what scares me. You know, it’s like when you get a new toy and that’s all you want to play with. Then eventually you get tired of it and totally ignore it.”

  “You think you’d get tired of Megan?” he asked.

  “No, not Megan. But of the role of mothering. That’s the novelty, and I’m enjoying the challenge and trying hard not to let my mother issues interfere—you know, trying to do the opposite of what my mother would do. You were right about that, Reid.

  “I based a life not on what I wanted but on the opposite of what my mother would do. And I’m working hard to stop it. But I’m still at the point where it’s a conscious effort.”

  “That will come naturally in due course, the way your feelings for Megan have come naturally.”

  “I do love her.”

  “Then adopt her. Simple as that.”

  Keera glanced over at the child, who’d managed to smear her strawberry yogurt from ear to ear. It was like she was wearing a pink beard. So cute, so innocent.

  “I want to.” She swiped at the tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. Great, fat droplets of grief that were ripping through her soul for so many things. “But is love enough?”

  “Love’s enough, Keera. Trust me, no matter what else happens, love is what gets you through. Loving Megan is enough. It’s where it starts, and everything else builds from there. So now it’s time to trust yourself. You’re not the wounded little girl any more. You’re the woman who has the opportunity to care for another wounded little girl. You’ll make her life better, the way she’ll make your life better. And I’m speaking from experience on that one.”

  “This isn’t easy, Reid,” she said, swatting at her tears and sniffling.

  “The right decisions seldom are easy.” He pulled her into his arms. “Weeks ago I met this stubborn, opinionated woman who didn’t like kids. At least, not in the sense that she wanted to deal with them on a day-to-day basis. Now look at her, raising one, loving one, her heart breaking over one. I don’t think it’s a tough decision. In fact, I think it may be the easiest decision you’ll ever make.”

  He pulled his cellphone from his pocket and handed it to her. “Make the call. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.”

  Taking the phone from his hand, she nodded and swallowed hard. “I still think you’d make the better parent,” she said, then dialed Consuela.

  * * *

  “Dr. Adams,” Brett Hollingsworth said from the door, “could I speak to you privately in the hall?”

  Keera reached out and squeezed his hand as she waited for her call to go through. “Want me to come with you?” she asked.

  “I’m fine. And I’ll feel better after I know you got through to Consuela.”

  “Thanks, Reid,” she said, as he turned and walked away.

  His response was a lackluster nod to accompany his slumped shoulders, and she wished to heaven she could make the walk with him, but she couldn’t. She knew that. And her heart hurt so badly for him she could barely talk when Consuela came on the line.

  * * *

  “Well, the good news is it’s not her appendix. Nothing in her blood work indicates she’s having a recurrence of her leukemia either.”

  Finally, Reid let go of the breath he’d been holding. “Then what is it?”

  “We think it’s mesenteric adenitis.” An inflammatory condition that often resulted from general weakening in cancers associated with the lymph system. “Not sure yet, because we’re ruling out other things. But the lymphs in her belly are swollen. Combine that with her nausea and vomiting, her lack of appetite, the malaise, fever, and she’s been complaining of a headache—all pretty classic symptoms.”

  “Could she have picked up a virus that caused it?”

  “My best guess right now would be yes. Maybe something as simple as stomach flu. It’s all interrelated with her leukemia, and not all that uncommon.”

  “I—I don’t know what to say. I mean, that’s good news. No, it’s great news!”

  “What’s great news?” Keera said, walking up behind him.

  “Mesenteric adenitis.”

  “Whoa, that’s an offbeat kind of diagnosis.” She smiled. “But a good one. And it makes sense.”

  “Well, I still want to do the imaging,” Brett continued, “but we’ve ruled out appendicitis as well as leukemia.”

  Keera slipped her hand into Reid’s. “So do the imaging. STAT,” she said happily.

  “Already ordered,” he said. “Just wanted Dr. Adams to know what we’re thinking right now.”

  “I’m thinking I was too involved to even consider...” Reid shut his eyes, drew in a deep breath. “Whatever consents you’ll need, you know you’ve got them.”

  “What I want to do is let her sleep the next few hours then see if we can get the imaging in late afternoon, early evening. In the meantime, get her started on fluid and electrolyte replacement, and an anti-inflammatory. Then treat other symptoms as they arise and keep our fingers crossed that we caught this early enough that no other symptoms will come up. Oh, and I do want to watch her overnight in the ICU, but by morning I think she’ll be stable enough to transfer to the floor.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” Reid said.

  “For, what, the third or fourth time today?” Keera teased.

  Brett punched him on the shoulder. “Well, I say go get some sleep. You look like hell and in a few hours I think your little girl’s going to feel better than you do.”

  “Don’t thank me. Thank Keera. She’s the one who dragged us all down here in the middle of the night and kept pushing us to find the problem.”

  “Thank you,” he whispered, bending to kiss her on the lips.

  “He’s right, you know. You do look worse than Emmie does.”

  “That’s what parenthood does to you sometimes.”

  “Guess I’m about to find out,” she said.

  “Really? It going to happen?”

  �
�It’s going to happen. I’m going to adopt her.”

  Suddenly Reid pulled her into his arms and the kiss he gave her was neither circumspect nor proper for a hospital corridor, but he didn’t care because everything was right in his world. More than right. Everything was perfect.

  * * *

  “Well, Brax has Megan and Emmie down at the stable looking at the new foal, and Deanna and Beau took Allie, along with their kids, Lucas and Emily, to go get ice cream. So we’re finally alone. At long last.”

  “It’s a nice place. I can see why you love raising your girls here. I’m hoping Megan and I get some weekend invitations to come down every once in a while.”

  “See, that’s the thing. I wasn’t planning on weekend invitations. They’re too disruptive.”

  She saw the twinkle in his eyes, didn’t know what it meant. “So we’re not invited?”

  “That’s the other thing. You are, but not in the way you expected.”

  “What are you trying to say, Reid? I’m not invited, but I am?”

  “I was thinking like more in the permanent sense. And before you shoot me down, I know you vowed never to get married again, never have a serious relationship, whatever that nonsense was you kept dropping on me at camp. But that was then, and you’re a mom now who needs a dad for her daughter. And I’m a dad who needs a mom for my daughters.”

  “What about the other part?”

  “Which part?”

  “Where you’re a man who needs a wife for himself? Because the rest are good reasons, but that’s the best one. That, and the one where I love you more than I can even tell you. For me it was love at first sight. Or else I would have shoved Megan in your arms and gotten the heck out of there. But when you opened the door...” She shook her head.

  “You had me at the door, Doc Adams, and I really didn’t want to be had. Although deep down I knew I did, even though I didn’t think I could ever be what you needed.”

  “You were, Keera. I needed to make you see who you really were, though. Who you really are. Really can be. So, can you do this? Because I don’t want you making all the compromises while I sit here and do nothing. You’re going to get two other children in the deal, and that’s a huge compromise, because they want you to be their real mommy.”

  “I’m not compromising a thing because I want to be their real mommy. I love those girls, Reid. Yours, mine...ours. But you do have to understand that I’m the one who needs to make the biggest change. For the first time in my life, though, I want to. Because I need to. There’s nothing else that will ever make me complete the way you and the girls do. And it scares me how much I’ll need your help in this. Maybe every day for the rest of my life. But I want to make the change. Walk away from everything I was and walk towards everything I want to be. As long as you know exactly what you’re getting.”

  “Oh, I know. And, seriously, all your aversions to children, family and marriage scared me for a while, or else I would have proposed maybe the day after I met you. Which was when I think I fell in love with you. Or maybe it was at first sight. I’m still a little foggy on that. The thing is, I saw through you pretty quickly. Saw how much you were trying to hide, or hide behind. And always fighting to prove you were tough, and impervious to the world. Except you weren’t, and I knew that.”

  “Your camp changed me, your girls changed me, Megan changed me. Most of all, you changed me. Made me realize I can have the things I thought I never could. The worst thing anyone could ever know about me is what you know, and it doesn’t matter to you.”

  “Because everything you were in the past turned you into the woman I love today.”

  “My past isn’t over, though. You’ve got to understand that it may rear its ugly head from time to time. And you may see that stubborn streak come back as well. That’s part of who I am.”

  “Only a small part. And we’ll face it together if it does peek in every now and then. No big deal.”

  “Easy for you to say.”

  “Easy for me to know, because I know you.”

  “And I know you.”

  “But can you be a country GP, give up your surgical practice and settle down to the kind of life we have here? Because we’re a very family-centered practice, and our families always come first, no matter what. Which might be a little difficult for you—”

  “Not difficult,” she interrupted. “Although I still want to keep my surgical practice, just limit it to maybe a couple days a week. An easy flight to Central Valley if the man you’re married to is a pilot.”

  “Married sounds good, doesn’t it?”

  “Very good. Because for once in my life I think I’ll be able to relax, breathe, just enjoy life. And with three daughters to raise, and take shopping!”

  “About that shopping, and your choice of clothes for them...”

  “What’s wrong with my choice of clothes?” she asked.

  “Not traditional. Just saying.”

  “Just saying you think I’m not traditional? Hey, Doc! We’ve got an hour to kill before anybody misses us. What do you say to going over to your place so I can show you exactly how untraditional the rest of your life is going to be?”

  He reached for Keera’s hand, then when he had it pulled her roughly into his embrace. “What do you say about going over to our place so we can do we do just that?”

  * * * * *

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  ISBN: 9781460319192

  Copyright © 2013 by Dianne Despain

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  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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