Yours Accidentally

by Nevatia, Madhur

  One evening, as she left her tuition class, she was cornered by a bunch of guys staring at her menacingly. Her head felt light, her throat was parched, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t scream. The boy who finally stepped up to her was from her class. His hand was heavily bandaged; he shoved a letter into her hands. Consumed by teenage jealousy, it was his love letter to her, written in blood. She was terrified.

  Absolutely petrified, her mother packed her off to a prestigious, girls’ only boarding school in Dehradun. Sameera resented the move very much. Why was she penalized for someone else’s actions? She missed her mother, her best friend Tanya and Pavan. She longed for freedom and set her eyes on studying in one of the top US universities as the ticket to that freedom. Sameera’s mother was unwilling to send her to the USA and all her persuasions were in vain. It was only when she got into Cornell that her mother finally relented.

  Sameera was ecstatic at the opportunities opening up before her.

  Just when her bags were packed and she was ready to go, life brought in another twist in the tale. Her mother met with a horrifying accident with a fifty-fifty chance of survival. She had already lost her father and the thought of losing her mother was too much for Sameera. She stayed by her side day and night, refusing to leave even for a night’s sleep at home. Her mother showed equal resilience and determination, and together they fought the crisis to return home after more than a month in the hospital. Despite protests from everyone close to her, she put her admission on hold and helped her mother inch back to normalcy.

  She would work closely with the physiotherapist and was fascinated by the various processes and their effect on her mother’s health. The doctor was impressed with her understanding of the therapy and her ability to conduct the sessions on her own when needed. Slowly her mother became mobile again, but complete recovery would take a long time.

  To young Sameera, who’d seen her mother take care of her father and help him fight against cancer, it was time to stand tall and own up to her responsibilities. She decided to forego her admission in Cornell and train as a physiotherapist in Mumbai.

  The government college which she joined to pursue her course was a far cry from her posh school and she took time to fit in. Her clothes seemed too fashionable, her chauffeur-driven car too big, her manners too delicate and her diction too polished for the new milieu. The girls were judgmental about her and the boys obsessed. She lacked real company and as the first year dragged by, Tanya remained her only good friend.

  As time went by, she slowly won over her classmates with her behavior and balanced attitude. In her fourth and final year, she became good friends with Ayush.

  Their friendship was blossoming when her mother dropped a bombshell. She had long cherished the dream of seeing her daughter married and settled; with her father’s demise, the dream had acquired greater urgency. There was a proposal from the Sinhas for their LSE returned son Kabir. They were rich, famous and well respected in the business community. They were also family friends and went back a long way. A match between Sameera and Kabir was an offer Mrs. Mathur could not refuse, but Sameera considered herself too young to get married. Her four and a half years of studies were still not over and then there was the six-month compulsory internship. Sameera and Ayush were busy applying to the most prestigious hospitals in Mumbai and hoped to do their internship together. The talk of marriage threw everything off track.

  The only thing Mrs. Mathur asked of her daughter was that she meet Kabir with an open mind. Sameera opposed, defied, and finally begged her mother to let go; when everything failed, she decided to meet Kabir if only to return with negative feedback.

  The Sinhas arrived at Sameera’s home one evening; the atmosphere was relaxed and the elders chatted as old friends do, putting Sameera at ease. Kabir was a normal, well brought up boy; after a while, he asked the elders if he could take Sameera out for a drive and before she knew it, she was sitting beside him in his car.

  They sat at a coffee shop and chatted for hours. Sameera expressed her reservations about marrying young since she wanted to focus on her education. He agreed whole-heartedly; he was just twenty-four years old and needed time to make something of himself, but he also confessed that he would love to meet her socially again. He did not have too many friends and would give a tooth and an eye to spend time with someone as beautiful and interesting as her, but there was no pressure. They agreed to meet again.

  Kabir was a charming boy, attentive and indulgent towards her. They went for long walks, watched movies, shared funny anecdotes, and became comfortable with each other’s friends. Slowly, she fell in love with him. Kabir could be quite moody and dominating at times. Sameera was raised in high society and had no issues with social drinking, but she also observed how Kabir could not keep his drink down at times. This was a bone of contention between the two but she loved him and wanted to make things work.

  One evening, they went out partying to a new pub. Sameera looked gorgeous in a black chiffon top and pencil skirt. Kabir was in high spirits, taking big swigs of his drink, nudging Sameera to do the same, eyeing the other girls lecherously. She casually joked that she was not looking too bad and he should spare a look for her too. He got livid at her comment and started abusing her.

  The words came back to haunt her for years. “You are a freaking frigid woman. I doubt if you can satisfy any normal, hot-blooded male. Did you think I was in love with you? Hah. Not in a hundred years. Your pretty face, smooth skin, tight ass, young tits bobbing at my face make me hungry for your body; lust, just lust, that’s all I feel for you. For six months you have not given me more than a kiss, you bitch. Now I’ll show you.”

  Her anger had given way to fear and Sameera instinctively ran out of the pub towards the car park. To her great relief, Kabir did not chase her. With her heart exploding in her ears, she ran as fast as her tight skirt and high heels would allow, stopping only when she spotted her car. As she fumbled in her bag for the keys she heard someone politely ask, “May I help you madam?” She turned around to find Kabir standing behind her.

  His bloodshot eyes made her skin crawl. She didn’t know how he’d managed to get there so suddenly. Though she tried to scream she couldn’t. With a powerful push, he flung her against the car. With one hand he covered her mouth and with the other he felt her body. She struggled to free herself but his body pressed against her, giving her no room to move. Every time she tried to move he would hit her hard. He tore her sleeve and scratched her arms.

  “This is your punishment for denying me my right. I will kill you if you make any noise.” Blood trickled through her arms. He pulled her hair and tore away the front of her shirt. She kicked him in the groin and bit his arm viciously. His scream brought the guards running towards them and he fled the scene. The sight of two guards running towards her was the last thing she remembered before passing out.

  The next morning was the toughest day of her life. She was filled with shame and guilt. The man she had loved had turned out to be a monster. Her looks had turned against her. Her mother stood by her, but with her approval, she decided not to press police charges against Kabir. Sameera just did not have the strength to fight a long, filthy battle in court. She had to save herself and her mother from this agony.

  Kabir’s parents were aghast at his monstrosity and the families decided to call off the engagement. Kabir was sent off to Singapore to look after the family business there. Sameera could not understand how a demon like Kabir had been born to such gentle parents.

  For a long time she hated herself, as if her beauty was to blame for what had happened. She lost confidence in herself and her judgment and took a break from studies. Only her mother and Tanya knew about her nightmarish experience.

  Ayush would call and try to help her with her studies but men and their attention drove her into frenzy. It took a lot of support, courage and psychiatric counseling for Sameera to face the world again but by then the ebullient girl had turned into a recluse.r />
  To tide over the painful period, she plunged into work. Ayush and Sameera developed a deep friendship but she was determined to keep it at that. Any hope of a romantic liaison was out of the question. Over time, she slowly came to terms with her experience, putting it behind her and resuming a normal life. Her natural cheerful personality resurfaced and her confidence returned; her capacity to love did not.

  ≈

  FIFTEEN

  When Gautam tapped her on the shoulder she snapped out of her reverie and looked at him. “Can you help me out? We’re here.”

  Sameera was glad he had not found anything amiss in her behavior. She tried to erase her ominous thoughts and get back into the groove. The last thing she wanted was to be a party-spoiler but her memories had left her feeling worn out and she could not trust her wobbly legs. Reluctantly, she took Gautam’s arm, steadied herself and walked along. As they walked, she stole a glance at him. He was wearing his familiar linen black shirt and comfortable khaki chinos. His curly hair was unruly as ever but everything else looked different. His attitude oozed confidence and warmth. This could turn out to be quite an evening.

  The ambience inside was very relaxed. Tanya had chosen the place specifically keeping Gautam in mind. Hip youngsters grooved to ‘Gangnam Style’ but the music was not loud enough to dampen conversation. Once settled with their drinks, the boys continued to narrate their funny teenage escapades.

  “Though you girls may find it hard to believe, Mihir was the true ladies guy amongst us. Gautam was too busy with something or the other and showed no interest.”

  “Time was never an issue, buddy. But aisi koi ladki nahi mili jis par dil aa jaae. How I wish you girls had been there.” Sameera sat silently even as Tanya giggled.

  “Oye, leave my fiancé alone.”

  When Tanya and Sanjay left to dance, Gautam turned to Sameera.

  “Would you like to dance, Sameera? I’m sure I can manage.”

  “Thanks but I’d rather just sit here and chat. We’ve met so many times, but I don’t really know much about you.”

  “Yes, we hardly know each other,” Gautam said.

  Sameera watched Tanya and Sanjay on the packed floor and sighed. “It’s so nice to see Tanya so happy. She’s the closest thing I have to a sibling. She has stood by me through some very trying times.”

  “I’m an only child too,” Gautam said. “My father has a successful motor parts business in Lajpat Nagar; as his only son, I should have joined him in his business but I had other dreams. I needed to be my own man and running my father’s established motor parts business just did not fit into my plans.”

  Sameera sat listening earnestly, not wanting to disturb his train of thought. “Education had never been rated highly in our typical Punjabi business family—only wealth was—but my mother was adamant that her son would get the best of both worlds. When I got through IIT, my parents’ pride knew no bounds. No one in my family had a professional degree. I became the first engineer. By the time I wanted to do my MBA, most family members said ’Pagal hai ye ladka. Padhta hi rahega kya? Kamaega kab?’ In response, my parents threw a huge party when I got through IIM-A.”

  Gautam looked straight into Sameera’s eyes. “We often make wrong judgments about people. Like I did, with you.

  “I couldn’t meet my parents when I was in Delhi for Sanjay’s engagement as they were on their first-ever foreign vacation at that time. My father has worked every single day of his life as far as I can remember; my mother always complained that he had no time for her and she would love to see the world one day. Once I started earning, I gave them a month-long holiday in Europe.”

  Sameera was a trifle embarrassed. She had just assumed that he did not care to meet his parents. She was so wrong. She now smiled wickedly. “Any other aces up your sleeve?”

  “Yes,” he smiled. “I believe in love at first sight.”

  Sameera felt the color rise in her cheeks. She averted her gaze before asking coyly, “Where did you see her the first time?”

  “Outside an airport.”

  Sameera was crushed. “Can we go out for some time? It is getting loud and hot in here.”

  Though he would have wanted Sameera to probe further, he did not pursue it.

  It was a clear starry night and a cool breeze was blowing. On the terrace they felt far removed from the humdrum of the ceaseless Mumbai traffic. The thick door cut off the music from the lounge. They were alone and as they stood there, he held her hand, savoring the moment. Her body language had changed. She looked agitated and ran her thumb incessantly against the railing. For a long time Gautam just let her be. She looked up to the stars. Her father was up there. She missed him sorely. Watching soccer matches, swimming, reading books together. She was only twelve when he passed away but even after fifteen years she felt his absence in her life. She could hear Gautam’s breathing and strangely, it soothed her. With time she had got to know him a lot better; she really liked him. It was comforting to be around him. Even his touch was reassuring, firm. She liked the way he looked straight into her eyes. His arrogance was a facade as was his tough exterior. He was vulnerable and sensitive, loyal and loving.

  But did he even like her? Who was this mystery girl at the airport? Was he just being chivalrous to his doctor who was also Tanya’s friend or did she mean something more to him?

  Her sixth sense told her that she would always be safe with him. But could she depend on herself and her judgment? She longed to be the person that people thought she was; pretty, rich, successful, and happy.

  Her thoughts went back to Kabir and she started to shiver.

  ≈

  SIXTEEN

  Concerned, Gautam wrapped his arms around her. “Are you feeling cold Sameera? Let me take you inside.” He peered down at her face; in the moonlight, her cheeks glistened with tears. He was speechless. Without uttering a word, he drew her closer, cradled her face against his chest, gently stroked her hair, over and over. The tears would not stop. In his arms she felt a dead weight lift off her soul, wishing for time to stand still, for the moment to last forever.

  “Shush, my dear, it’s okay.” Gautam whispered, thinking of nothing but Sameera’s anguish and the need to comfort her. Explanations could wait. Slowly, her sobs became less furious, her breathing less agitated, and the storm of tears gave way to a calm sigh. He cupped her cheeks and looked deep into her eyes.

  Sameera was not sure if she could face a volley of questions from him but to her surprise, he didn’t speak at all. He took a step back and stood quietly, almost guarding her privacy. She was overwhelmed by his calm presence and his warmth; her eyes searched his face for any sign of pity, rebuke or reprimand and found none. He smiled at her and his eyes lit up with affection. She felt something give way within her, all the bottled up emotions seemed to slip out of her heart and she fell into his arms, caressing his face, kissing his cheeks. Her lips hungrily searched his. She kissed him softly at first and as he responded, her passion soared. They were two perfectly fitting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

  His heart stopped beating; was it a dream? If it was, he prayed that he would never have to wake up.

  Sameera looked up into his eyes and abruptly the color drained from her face. She disentangled herself clumsily and her eyes filled with tears again. “I’m sorry, sorry, I...I sh...shouldn’t have done this. I am so sorry,” she mumbled before she turned and ran away, leaving Gautam too stunned to react.

  His shirtfront was wet with her tears. She was in such a state of panic that he did not follow her. What did he do to scare her away? His head and arm were throbbing with pain; laboriously, he walked in and without giving any explanations to Tanya and Sanjay, left for home.

  In the morning a curt message from Dr. Sameera Mathur’s clinic informed him that his papers had been sent to Dr. Apratim Chatterjee who would take over his treatment.

  He resolved not to call her; she had his number and knew exactly where to find him. For now, it was time to roll up his
socks and get back to work.

  ≈

  SEVENTEEN

  Gautam received a hero’s welcome in the office. His team fussed around him ensuring his comfort and his boss plied him with a truckload of work with the humane allowance to, ‘Take your time. We need this only by nine a.m. tomorrow.’ It was familiar turf for Gautam, here he could swim like a shark and tide over problems and conflicts.

  And so the grind began once again. Colossal spreadsheets, myriad financial scenarios, lengthy client meetings, lengthier team meetings, serpentine mail exchanges, risky beta calculations eventually gave way to Dr. Apratim Chatterjee’s much rescheduled appointments. The new therapist was efficient but could he be as effective? Throughout the long and demanding period, Gautam hung on to his mobile phone, desperately waiting for one call. The days rolled into months and once again he was fighting fit, but who did he want to fight?

  As he pondered his dilemma, his flight landed at Dabolim airport for Sanjay and Tanya’s Goa wedding.

  His stomach was in a knot and he barely breathed during the forty-five minute car ride from the airport to the wedding site, Taj Fort Aguada Beach Resort. He was greeted at the lobby by Sanjay’s father who engulfed him in a big hug again. “Gautam beta, welcome. This is going to be the best wedding you've ever attended. Everything is fully paid for, you have fun. Just don’t break the bar this time.” Gautam grinned but before he could reply, he was surrounded by a bevy of lissome beauties in sarongs performing the traditional desi welcome along with the not so desi welcome cocktail. “The porter will take your luggage, you go and meet Sanjay.” This was hospitality true ‘Dilli ishtyle’, loud, boisterous and no holds barred.

  He strolled through the hotel. It was a beautiful property—charming, vibrant and romantic, everything the website had promised. He wanted peace and quiet to settle his nerves before he met Sanjay, Tanya and Sameera. As he stood admiring the resort, Sanjay caught up with him, “Kya hua mere bhai? Yahan akele kya kar raha hai?”