Fashionably Fabulous: Book Eleven of The Hot Damned Series

by peterman, robyn

  Again, I twerked. Again, it sucked. And again, The Kev didn’t laugh. He would get a lap dance later for holding his shit together.

  “I’d like one,” the guard I was sure was a Fairy said.

  “Me too,” the other Fairy added.

  I felt Susu do a little voodoo and laminated backstage passes appeared in my hand. My Mini-Elf was on top of it. Handing the passes to the two guards, I gave a megawatt and seriously vapid smile to the other two.

  “How about you big boys? Don’t you want to be in the presence of rock royalty?”

  “There is no royalty in Zanthia,” the main guard snarled with so much venom in his voice I was taken aback.

  Interesting.

  “We have no interest in such frivolity,” the second one I suspected was not of Fairy origin snapped. “The Dave will see you momentarily.”

  “Alone,” The Kev said tonelessly.

  All four guards glared at him.

  “And you are?” the main one demanded as his eyes narrowed dangerously

  “Ben,” The Kev said through clenched teeth and a smile on his face that came nowhere close to reaching his eyes. “Martha and Jane’s personal roadie. Our business with The Dave concerns the private matters of the superstars. They will leave Zanthia at once if their wishes for privacy are not met.”

  “Their request shall be honored,” one of the Fairy guards announced immediately as the two strange ones growled low in their throats.

  Growling was not a trait I’d been aware Fairies subscribed to, which further confirmed to me that we were dealing with far more than Dark Fairies. The guards exchanged glances and the non-Fairy one shrugged his huge shoulders.

  “Fine. I have far more pressing matters than listening to the demands of singing Vampyres,” he said in a condescending manner that would have set Martha and Jane off.

  I was glad they weren’t here at the moment. Anyone who laid a finger on my old bags would die a violent and bloody death by my hand. Bringing them with me was a stroke of genius. They were the lynch pin of the entire plan.

  Who knew the old idiots would become so important to me? Definitely not me.

  I’d even go so far as to say I loved them. I didn’t really like them much and didn’t want to hang out with them—ever—but I loved the profane, disgusting Vampyres and they would forever have my protection. Saying a quick thanks to the Big Guy upstairs that I’d never followed my impulses and offed the old dummies, I turned my attention back to the real, and the debatable Fairies. The Kev wasn’t going to be polite much longer.

  “Fanfreakintastic!” I shouted in such a screechy decibel that all the guards winced and backed away. “Will The Dave come and get us? Or are you hunks of muscle going to escort us in?”

  I was pretty sure one of the guards’ eardrums had burst if the look in his face and the fact that he was clutching the side of his head in pain was a clue.

  “The Dave will come and retrieve you when he is ready,” the other Fairy guard said from halfway down the hall. “You will see yourselves out when you are done.”

  By now they were all running away. My high-pitched voice had won a small battle. Yessssss.

  “Umm… where in the Hell did that voice come from?” The Kev inquired, biting down on his lip so he didn’t laugh.

  “Ass yank,” I told him proudly. “Pulled it right out of my ass. Are your ears okay?”

  He nodded and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “You are my mate. I can withstand any tactic you have to use. The same is true for you with anything I have to do.”

  “Susu?” I asked, reaching back into my hood to make sure she hadn’t gone deaf.

  “Fine, Dirty Diana,” she replied with a giggle. “I am the same as Ben. I was created for you. Anything you need to do will not affect me.”

  “Good to know,” I muttered, and then froze as a man walked out of the chambers and greeted us with a smile.

  Millions of memories jolted through my brain—some horrifying, some beautiful. My head hurt so many thoughts rushed through. My breathing became labored and I worried I would faint… which was not in the fucking half-assed plan in any way, shape or form.

  The feeling of The Kev’s hand on my back gave me the strength I needed to get to my feet.

  What was going to happen once I entered the room? It was anyone’s fucking guess because I had no clue.

  * * *

  “Please, join me in my chambers,” The Dave said as he turned and walked out of view.

  “Are you okay?” The Kev asked with concern, halting my forward progress.

  Nodding my head was the best I could do. Part of me wanted to run and hide, but a far larger part of me wanted to walk into The Dave’s chambers. I was the Fairy Queen. The Fairy Queen does not run away.

  A beautiful and inviting force pulled me the short distance down the hallway to the open door. A true sense of peace overwhelmed me and I felt lighter than I’d ever felt in my life. Was The Dave using some kind of fucked up magical compulsion? I glanced over at The Kev to see if he was similarly affected. He wasn’t. It was just me. Shit.

  Peeking into the room before I entered it, I had to swallow my gasp. Swirls of sparkling golden light floated around The Dave’s head. It was a sorcery so pure and good I wanted to touch it. I wanted to wrap it around me and bask in it. Since that would be every kind of awkward and weird, I held myself back. Gripping The Kev’s hand like it was my lifeline, I walked into the room.

  It was far less ornate than every other place I’d seen in the Grand Fun Palace thus far. It was vaguely familiar and very tasteful, but I couldn’t quite place it.

  “Welcome,” The Dave said with a warm smile on his face. “Please take a seat and tell me how I can help you.”

  The Fairy’s beauty was absurd. His eyes were a glittering silver and he was blond like me. The Dave was a tall and well-built man, but there was a gentleness about him that was truly magical.

  We sat. I couldn’t have found my voice if it walloped me in the head. Memories flooded my brain. The Dave had loved me dearly as a child and I’d loved him as well. That was certainly going to make it more difficult to rip his head off, if that was what I was going to have to do.

  Life was sucking all kinds of wads as of late.

  Thankfully, The Kev still had use of his vocal chords.

  “Martha and Jane are very particular about their privacy,” The Kev started as The Dave stared at him strangely.

  “Of course,” he said haltingly, now staring at me.

  “Is this room soundproofed?” The Kev went on ignoring The Dave’s scrutiny.

  “Yes. It is. There is no video surveillance either,” he said.

  “He’s wrong,” Susu whispered in my head. “He either doesn’t know or he’s lying. I see four hidden cameras.”

  “Where?” I asked her. “I don’t see any.”

  “That’s because you’re not a Mini-Elf. I can see through all disguises. Nothing is hidden from me because I’m fabulous.”

  “What about the species of the guards you ate today? Could you see what they were?”

  “No,” she said, beginning to have a meltdown. “But they tasted like shit.”

  I could feel her punch herself inside the hood of my cloak. We did not have time for Susu to beat the living Hell out of herself.

  “Stop that right now. You are still fabulous and I love you.”

  “I am fabulous,” she said with a giggle as she calmed down. “And I love you too.”

  “Okay, Miss Fabulous. Tell me where the cameras are.”

  “Desk lamp. Chandelier. Dream Catcher and the flowers on his desk. Want me to eat him?” she asked in all seriousness.

  “Umm… no, but thank you.”

  “No problem. Just say the word and The Dave will be my after dinner snack.”

  That was not going to happen. If The Dave needed to be destroyed, I was going to do it. Period.

  “We need to discuss the security at the venue,” I said not disguising my voice
at all.

  The Dave went pale and crystal tears of joy began to slowly roll down his cheeks. He was either a kickass actor or truly happy to see me.

  “Are you…” he began.

  I held my hand up to him to silence him.

  Thankfully, he obeyed.

  “I’d like to demonstrate part of Martha and Jane’s act. I’ll need to rearrange the room if you don’t mind,” I told him.

  The Dave nodded his head and continued to cry. “Be my guest,” he whispered reverently.

  “Thank you,” I said as I stood and pretended I was going to walk toward the desk. Instead I purposely tripped, destroying the flowers and the desk lamp.”

  The Kev was on his feet in a split second to catch me but I was too fast. Two cameras down, two to go.

  “So sorry,” I said with a laugh and a shrug. “I’m clumsy. Let me try again.”

  With a covert wink to The Kev, he relaxed visibly and sat back down. My baby believed in me. I was pretty sure he thought I was nuts, but he definitely believed in me. And I was kind of nuts.

  “Okay,” I grunted and crawled on top of The Dave’s desk as he watched in utter confusion. “I’m gonna leap off of here so you can see the intricacies of what the girls will be doing. Martha and Jane do a very physical show.”

  I almost laughed at the absurdity of what I’d just said, but that would have been extremely counterproductive to the plan I was busy yanking out of my ass. Magic would have been far easier to use to destroy the cameras, but I had to make it look feasible to the fuckers that were spying on The Dave. All anyone needed to know was that Dirty Diana, the crazy manager of Martha and Jane, was a clumsy idiot. Not. A. Problem.

  The Dream Catcher hung from the chandelier. It was in constant rotation so it cased the entire room. The simplicity of the surveillance was pretty brilliant. However, I was more brilliant. In a leap that showed how truly ungraceful I was, I yanked the chandelier from the ceiling and destroyed it along with the Dream Catcher.

  “My goodness,” The Dave shouted, jumping to his feet and zipping around his desk to where I lay in a heap on the floor. “Are you okay?”

  “I am now,” I said with a grin, standing and taking in the man who had sired me.

  With a wave of my hand, I encased the room in a strong magic. No one could come in and no one could leave. It still remained to be seen if The Dave was going to leave the room alive when we were done.

  “Was there a reason for that destruction?” The Kev inquired, still seated.

  “Yep. Either The Dave is a liar or he didn’t know there were four cameras in here. Operative word being were… now there are none.”

  “What?” The Dave asked, shocked.

  Again, my father either deserved an Oscar or he was lying. Unable to read his aura was a real issue at the moment. I’d know in a heartbeat if he was lying.

  What to do…

  “My Queen?” The Dave choked out, going to his knees.

  The jig was up faster than I’d planned but winging it often went like that.

  “Up,” I said, dropping my disguise and letting my true self free. “No more bowing and scraping. The new show of respect is a thumbs up.”

  The Dave raised his head and looked so alarmed, I laughed.

  “Are you serious?” he asked.

  “Deadly,” I replied. “And before we have any family reunions, you have some explaining to do.”

  “Of course,” he said, getting slowly to his feet while staring at me with such adoration that I was tempted to leap into his arms and ask him to love me.

  “Go to the other side of the room,” I instructed curtly. It simply wouldn’t do to get mushy when I might have to end his life. “I’m seriously in danger of hugging you and I’m not ready for that yet. You feel me, dude?”

  The Dave grinned and obeyed my request. His damned smile was so freakin’ appealing, I almost forgot my own rule. He was a sneaky one.

  “As you wish, my Queen.”

  “About that,” I snapped, trying to stay mad. He was making it difficult with all that damned smiling. “I’m not sure I’m taking the job yet. However, this place is such a hot mess, I’m at least staying until this shitshow is under control.”

  “I see,” he said, now glancing over at The Kev who was still in disguise as Ben.

  Susu was no longer in disguise and felt comfortable flitting around the room. I supposed she thought since I was me now that she could be herself. That was fine. I was sure The Dave was well aware of the talents of Mini-Elves. But his focus on The Kev pissed me off.

  And that was my first piece of business.

  “Tell me right now why you imprisoned The Kev and scheduled him to die,” I demanded in a voice that jerked The Dave’s gaze right back to me.

  “Die?” he asked. “The Kev was not scheduled to die. I imprisoned him for his own safety. The Dark Court wanted him executed on sight.”

  “Bullshit,” I snarled as silver, gold and pink glitter exploded in furious little bursts around my head. “He was nearly dead when I got to him.”

  “He was being guarded by Gray Fairies,” The Dave insisted. “With instructions not to harm him. This can’t be right.”

  “Again, I call bullshit,” I shouted as the Fairy dust ramped up and The Dave had to brace himself to stay on his feet.

  “Gemma,” The Kev called out as he took back his true form. “Stop. He tells the truth.”

  “Those were not Gray Fairies guarding you,” I hissed, refusing to tamp back the storm raging in the room. “They were Dark and two of them were not Fairies at all.”

  “What?” The Kev and The Dave shouted at the same time.

  Shit. My mouth was full of Fairy dust. My power was biting me in the butt. Choking to death on my own magic was not part of the grand scheme. With great effort and a small amount of pain, I stopped the storm. The magic might have abated, but my anger had not.

  “What do you mean not Fairies?” The Kev asked.

  “They. Were. Not. Fairies,” I repeated, watching The Dave carefully for his reaction. His reaction matched The Kev’s… total bewilderment.

  “What are they?” The Dave asked.

  “Were,” I snapped, still trying to gauge if he was playing us. “They’re in Susu’s digestive tract now. And I have no clue what they were. I was hoping you could enlighten me.”

  The Dave walked back to his desk and dropped into his chair. Letting his head fall forward, he caught it in his hands. “I should have suspected something.”

  “Is he bullshitting us?” I demanded of The Kev. “I’m having a hard time buying it. I mean, I want to buy it. I want to buy it with all my heart, but if I can tell they weren’t Fairies then why can’t he?”

  “He’s not the Fairy Queen,” The Kev said, giving me the thumbs up. “You are. You power outweighs all of ours put together, my love.”

  “Then we are soooo fucked,” I said, pacing the room and kicking the piles of Fairy dust left over from the storm.

  “Read The Dave’s aura, Gemma. That will tell you all you need to know,” The Kev promised.

  “Oh my Hell,” I shouted. I was tempted to pull a Susu and punch myself in the head. “I should have already done that. I totally suck as the Fairy Queen. You guys should really get a different gal for the job. I’m a walking menace.”

  I closed my eyes and pretended I wasn’t here. If I couldn’t see them, they couldn’t see me. Right? Wrong. So, so, so, wrong.

  “Look at me,” The Dave gently directed. “Read me, Gemma. See who I am.”

  Slowly opening my eyes, I looked at the man who I wanted to hug so badly it physically hurt. His aura was like none I’d ever seen. It was a pure sparkling gold. It was the color of enlightenment and divine protection.

  The Dave was guided by the highest good—divine guidance. My father embodied protection, wisdom, inner knowledge, a spiritual mind and intuitiveness. Basically, the man was incapable of lying.

  Shit. Now I was more confused than ever.

/>   “Fine,” I grumbled. “He’s telling the truth.”

  “Can I hug you?” The Dave asked, looking so hopeful I wanted to cry.

  “If you insist,” I said, crossing the room to him with such speed it was embarrassing.

  His embrace was everything I’d ever wanted as a child. It was so loving and warm, now I was crying. The Dave held me close and rocked me gently back and forth. I wanted to stay in my father’s embrace forever, but that was not a possibility.

  “Did you love my mom?” I asked, looking up at him.

  His smile was angelic. “I did. She was not my true mate, but we were destined to create you together. It was more of an arranged marriage, so to speak. We were genuinely fond of each other and before she was murdered, she did indeed find her true mate. He was the love of her life and she was his.”

  “And you? Did you find your true mate?” I asked.

  “No. Not yet, but I feel she is near.”

  I was very tempted to tell him it was The Shelia and she was indeed very near, but they would have to discover that one on their own.

  “Did I know this information?” I asked, trying so hard to remember.

  The Dave glanced at me in concern. “You don’t remember?”

  Pulling out of his embrace was difficult, but my brain worked better when I moved around.

  “I remember bits and pieces. When I see things, I remember. Your chambers feel familiar, but I’m not sure why. However, I’m very sure I never made the law banning Demons, but I have no proof.”

  “The law was made right before you died,” The Dave said. “It was signed and on your desk.”

  “In my cold dead hands?” I snapped, furious I had no memory of any of this.

  “Umm… no,” The Dave whispered, blanching. “There was nothing recognizable left.”

  “Oh,” I said, feeling a little ill about that piece of the story. “She tore me apart after poisoning me?”

  “That’s what she said,” The Kev confirmed, wrapping his arms around me and lending me his strength and warmth. “But I don’t think she had the power to do that.”

  “Neither do I,” The Dave agreed.

  “The Reggie said he felt another presence in the shadows when he found what was left of me,” I told them.