Healing Hearts

by Syndi Powell

  “This is nothing. You should see her at the holidays.”

  He rested against the table and watched her. It must have made her uncomfortable because she sighed. “Do I have something else on my face?”

  He shook his head. “No, no, you look beautiful, actually.”

  “What? Why are you saying that to me?”

  “Because it’s true?” He gave a shrug. “You seem different tonight.”

  She met his eyes and gave a short nod. “So do you. Less pushy and kinder.” She looked over to where her friend Page waited for their pasta at the stoves. “Why did you come tonight?”

  Nothing like being direct. He took a step closer to her. “Here’s the thing. I’ve tried not to think about you. I’ve pushed you out of my thoughts so many times, but it’s impossible. Therefore, I give up. I came here tonight because I wanted to be near you. To spend time with you and see if this other idea I had is my worst one yet.”

  She came up to him and stood toe to toe. “And what other idea would that be?”

  “Would you like to go out for dinner sometime?” There. He’d asked her. Maybe it wasn’t as eloquent as he’d hoped it would be, but it was out there now. And it was up to her to accept. Or reject, but he wasn’t going to think about that.

  “Why?”

  Okay, so that wasn’t the response he’d hoped for. “Why not? Isn’t there something on that second-chance list we could cross off together?”

  The friend returned to the table with their cooked ravioli. She thrust the ceramic bowl into Zach’s hands, looked at him, paused, then she looked at April. “What did I miss?”

  April shook her head. “Nothing. The pasta looks fantastic.”

  Zach spooned pesto on top of the ravioli, then flipped the bowl to toss them in the sauce. He spooned several ravioli on a plate and handed it to April with a fork. He did the same for Page, then he served himself. He watched April cut into a square, then place it on the fork and bring it to her mouth. She opened her lips and took a bite of it. He looked away only to find Page watching them as she chewed.

  “Not bad.” Page dug into the rest of her pasta.

  April wiped the corners of her mouth with a napkin and exhaled. “It’s magnificent. And to think we made that from scratch.”

  He leaned in closer and dropped his voice so that only she could hear him. “We make a good team. Just think of what else we could do together.”

  April jerked back, crushing one of her friend’s toes. She apologized, then put her half-eaten plate of pasta down. “I need to... I’ll be right back.”

  Page frowned at him. “What are your intentions, exactly?”

  He wasn’t sure how much to tell Page. If April didn’t want her friend to know what they’d discussed, then it would be better for him to stay silent. He shrugged. “Trying to get to know her better.” He quickly added, “And you, too.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Something tells me that she’s the one you really want to know.” She placed her empty plate on the table and came up close to him. “If you’re playing games, she’s not interested. She’s been through too much to let a guy mess with her head. And if you hurt her, you’ll deal with me.”

  “I don’t plan on hurting anyone.”

  Page scowled at him, then looked in the direction April had just headed for. He all but dropped his plate of ravioli on the table, no longer hungry. He held up his hands. “Fine. I’ll go talk to her.”

  He paused long enough to grab his wool trench coat before leaving the kitchen and walking to the parking lot. April paced, her arms across her body, shivering in the cold. He took several long strides to reach her, then removed his coat and slid it over her shoulders. “It’s cold out here. You need a jacket.”

  She pulled the lapels of the coat closer around her. “Thanks. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “What were you doing?”

  She looked up at him and sighed. “Why did you ask me out?”

  “I told you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I figured it would be better to get to know you so I can have that time back to concentrate on my job.” He noticed the snowflakes that had frosted her curly hair. He longed to reach up and brush them away. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his shoulders together. “Could we talk about this inside where it’s warmer?”

  April frowned at him for a few moments, then shook her head. “No, thank you.”

  “You won’t talk to me inside?”

  “No, I can’t go out with you. I don’t really like you, Mr. Harrison.” She offered a polite smile, turned on her heel and presumably headed for the kitchen.

  He had no choice but to follow, his curiosity piqued. He was a likable guy, right?

  CHAPTER FOUR

  FIVE WOMEN SHOWED up for the weekly breast cancer support group meeting at the Hope Center. April glanced at the other four women, one of them Lynn, the facilitator. “Where is Stephanie?” she asked as she took a seat in the circle.

  Lynn winced as the other three women looked down at the ground. “She died over the weekend.”

  “Oh.” Stephanie had been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer the same time that April had found the lump. She realized she’d been comparing the two of them at each stage of the disease, even though Stephanie’s cancer had been more advanced. “But she seemed to be doing so well.”

  “Complications from pneumonia, they said.”

  Page entered the center and took a seat next to April, glancing at the somber faces surrounding her. “Who died?”

  “Stephanie.”

  Page blew out a breath as she took off her coat. “Wow, I didn’t expect you to say that. She was doing better, I thought.”

  Lynn nodded and took a seat, motioning the others to do the same. “That’s why we should talk tonight about being vigilant when it comes to our health. How many of you thought you were healthy when you first discovered you had cancer?”

  Nearly everyone raised her hand. Page sat on hers and shrugged. “I figured it would get me one day, so I wasn’t really surprised. More like relieved that I could stop worrying about when it was going to happen. Now I could focus on getting it out.”

  “For the most part, we figured we were okay until our diagnoses. But our bodies had been sending clues that we probably chose to ignore or dismiss.” Lynn sat forward in her chair. “I didn’t do monthly self-exams because no one in my family had ever had cancer. Diabetes and heart disease, sure. But cancer? I assumed I was safe.”

  One of the women nodded. “I did my self-exams, but my cancer was too small to feel. So I thought I was okay, too.”

  “Now that we’ve had cancer, we need to listen to our bodies even more. If something doesn’t feel right, have it checked out. Keep a journal. Talk to your doctor.” Lynn glanced around the circle, her gaze landing on April. “Just because you’ve had cancer doesn’t make you immune from everything else out there. Because you’re a cancer survivor doesn’t mean you won’t have a heart attack, or like Stephanie, die from complications with pneumonia. Being a survivor means that you faced down one demon, but we still need to be on the lookout for others.”

  It made sense to April that having cancer didn’t give her a free pass on other potential health issues. Though in fairness, it seemed as if it should. She’d had to go through so much already that she shouldn’t have to worry about anything else. The reoccurrence of cancer was enough to keep her awake at night.

  Lynn moved on to the sharing portion of the meeting, and one of the others talked about her recent scans. April noticed Page wasn’t even pretending to be listening but picking at one of her cuticles. April leaned toward her. “What’s going on?”

  Page put her finger to her mouth. “Shh, it’s sharing time.”

  Lynn turned to Page. “Did you want to share something with the group?”

 
; Page shook her head. “Naw, I’m good for this week.”

  Lynn looked at April. “How are you coming along with your second-chance list?”

  The entire group knew about April’s list and had even brainstormed ideas to add to it. She shrugged. “We took a cooking class a few days ago. That was pretty cool.”

  “Tell them about the hot guy.”

  April frowned at Page. “The hot guy has nothing to do with my list.”

  “So you admit that you’re attracted to him? Why won’t you go out with him?”

  “Because I don’t like him. Sure, he’s good-looking, but he rubs me the wrong way.” April crossed her arms over her chest. “Why should I go out with someone like that?”

  “You don’t know him well enough to not like him.” Page appealed to the group. “You should have seen the sparks between them when they rolled out the pasta dough.”

  Lynn’s eyebrows shot up. “He asked you out?”

  “Yes, and I shot him down.”

  “Isn’t the point of your second-chance list to take you out of your comfort zone and see what else is out there?” Lynn pleaded, “Isn’t going out on one date with him part of that?”

  April bit her lip. Part of her resented Page for bringing up Zach. Another part knew she and Lynn were right. April hadn’t given him a chance, but then why should she? If cancer had taught her anything it was that life was too short to waste on regrets. She couldn’t explain why she didn’t like Zach, but then, she didn’t need to. She knew she’d regret it if she tried to get close to him. “No. My second-chance list is about doing things I’ve wanted to do but didn’t have time for or the opportunity to pursue. It’s not about squandering time with pushy men who have a cell phone stuck to their ear.”

  “Okay, okay. What’s next on your list?”

  “I haven’t decided.” She hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. She figured she’d close her eyes and point to one.

  “Wait.” Page sat up straighter in her chair. “There’s a doctor at the hospital that has tickets for an exclusive wine tasting. I couldn’t go with him, so I gave him your number.”

  April groaned. “A blind date? Really?”

  “Not so blind. You know Dr. Ross in Pediatrics?”

  April glared and mentally scanned the staff at the hospital. “The name is familiar. Maybe I know him.”

  “Well, don’t be surprised when he calls you. He definitely remembered who you were and seemed interested.” Page gave her a bright smile. “And I know that going to a wine tasting is on your list.”

  It wouldn’t hurt to give Dr. Ross a shot. But then why wouldn’t she do the same for Zach? asked a little voice. She shook her head. Because that was a completely different situation. She’d seen Zach in action and hadn’t cared for him. But Dr. Ross was a mystery. One she’d be interested in unraveling given the chance.

  * * *

  THE KNOCKING ON his bedroom door wouldn’t stop. Zach checked the clock. A little after three in the morning. Rubbing his eyes, he walked to the door and opened it. “What’s wrong, Mom?”

  “You’re going to be late for school.” She peered behind him into the darkened room. “Why aren’t you dressed?”

  “It’s not morning yet, Mom. And I haven’t been in school for more than a dozen years.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “Why don’t you go on back to bed and I’ll read you a chapter from your book?”

  She smiled. “The romance one? Love stories are my favorite.”

  He nodded and led her down the hall toward her bedroom. “I know.” He squinted from the bright light in the room, but helped his mom into bed. He sat in the recliner and pulled the book they’d been reading the past week from the bookshelf and flipped to where they’d left off earlier that evening.

  As he read aloud to her about the Duke of Montmorency and the governess who taught his young ward, the words lulled his mother to sleep. After three pages, her eyes closed and soft snores accompanied his reading. He put the bookmark in place and watched her for a moment. When she slept like this, he remembered how she used to be—so vibrant, full of laughter and funny stories. Her eyes were clear and bright, not clouded with confusion. He missed his mother, grieved for her even though she was still alive. He wished he could do more for her, that he could find a doctor who’d be able to bring her back to him, restore the person she’d once been. Unfortunately, the doctors had told him her disease wouldn’t get better. She had moments of lucidity, but they came less often. And she stubbornly held on to the past as her present.

  He replaced the book on the shelf, then stood and covered his mother with the blanket. She stirred, and he held his breath to see if she’d stay asleep. Her eyes remained closed, so he leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Good night, Mom.”

  He tiptoed out of the room and turned off the light before slowly shutting the door. The snores on the other side meant that he could return to his own bed. But when he lay down under the sheets, he stared at the ceiling, unable to stop the tumble of thoughts in his brain. His mother’s condition seemed to be getting worse. She’d soon need more care than what he could provide. And that meant finding a facility for her. He shut his eyes tight. He couldn’t think about that now. Wouldn’t try to imagine what it would be like to give up on his mother when she needed him the most.

  April’s face popped into his mind. The thought of her made him smile despite the fact that she’d rejected him. That was okay. He could ask her out again. There was something about her that intrigued him. That called out to him in a moment like this when he needed to be calm, when sleep wasn’t coming.

  * * *

  APRIL FELT ALONG the sides of the teen boy’s throat before she turned to the mother, who clearly fretted as she watched. “His glands are swollen, so it’s probably strep throat.” She took a tongue depressor and cotton swab from her coat pocket as well as the small flashlight. “Wade, I need you to open your mouth as wide as you can. I have to run a test to make sure what we’re dealing with.”

  The boy opened his mouth, and she used the tongue depressor to stabilize his tongue while she ran the cotton swab along the red, inflamed tissues near the back of his throat. When she finished, she put the swab in a plastic tube and marked the sticker on the outside with Wade’s name and hers. “I’ll have the lab check this ASAP. When is the last time you visited your regular doctor?”

  The mother gave a shrug. Based on the shabbiness of her winter coat and the scant information on the intake forms, April could guess that it had been a long time. The only reason that they’d shown up in her ER that morning was because Wade had stopped breathing in class when his throat had swollen to the point of closing. A quick-thinking school nurse had gotten him breathing again before the ambulance arrived. “If it’s strep, I’ll give you some antibiotics and you’ll be off school for a few days until you’re better.” She turned to the mother. “Any questions for me?”

  “How much will all this cost? I’m already missing work to be here.”

  “I’ll get our information on payment plans, and the hospital can make arrangements with you. I’ll be right back.” She stepped out of the curtained area and almost ran into a tall man in a white lab coat with green eyes and graying temples. “Sorry, Doctor.”

  “Dr. Sprader? April, right?”

  She nodded and tried to recall if she knew him. His name didn’t register. “Did I call you for a consult?” It had been one of those days and she might have forgotten about it.

  “I’ve been meaning to call you all week, but things kept coming up.”

  A lightbulb flashed on in her mind. “Dr. Ross and the wine tasting.”

  “Page told you about me? Good.” He glanced around the crowded emergency room. “Do you have a few minutes for us to talk?”

  She held up the tube with Wade’s throat culture. “Gotta get this to the lab. We can talk while we walk.”
>
  She started to zip around patients and medical staff. The sooner she got the swab to the lab, the sooner she’d have answers for Wade and his mother. And she didn’t want to wait too long and have other lab tests get in the queue ahead of her.

  She glanced back once to make sure that Dr. Ross had kept pace with her. He was faring not too badly, only one or two people behind her. She paused as she got to the laboratory. He came up beside her. “You move fast for such a tiny thing.”

  She ignored the way the comment made her bristle. “You’d be surprised how often that skill comes in handy.” And she strode faster through the laboratory’s glass door.

  “Dr. Sprader. April. Are you free tomorrow evening about seven?” he called after her.

  She smiled at Javier, the intake manager, who accepted the swab and input the patient’s name and date of birth in the computer. He smiled back. “We’re about thirty minutes behind today.”

  April put her hand on his arm. “But you’ll put mine at the top of the list, right?”

  He winked at her and passed the throat culture to one of the lab techs. April turned to Dr. Ross. “You were asking me about tomorrow night?”

  He frowned sharply. “Do you always flirt with the staff to get your tests moved up in the queue?”

  “No. Sometimes I bribe them with cookies.” She laughed at his dour expression. “That’s a joke. Javier and his team follow protocol, so you can erase those frown lines on your forehead. I’ll have my results in due course.”

  “Oh.” He took a deep breath, then squared his shoulders. “Would you like to accompany me to a wine tasting tomorrow night? I’ve got tickets to an exclusive party, and your friend Page thought you might be interested.”

  She eyed him up and down. He wasn’t bad-looking in an older, distinguished-man kind of way. He might lack a sense of humor, but then, she couldn’t have everything, right? Learning about different wines was on her second-chance list, so she agreed. “Okay. It’s a date.”