Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3)

by Stoker, Susan

  Jonathan squeezed her hand. She looked up at him. He wasn’t looking at her, but she knew he’d somehow felt her mood change. How had he gotten to be so perceptive?

  After a couple of hours of good food and good company, they decided to call it a night. Kina didn’t want it to be obvious that Jonathan would be sleeping in her room, but she also didn’t really want to hide their relationship. She surprised herself with that thought. Relationship. Yes, she admitted to herself, she was in a relationship with Jonathan. It was different from anything she’d had before, and that made it more special.

  She’d never had a relationship with a guy and not slept with him. She didn’t sleep around, but she was also very cautious. She always kept men at arms’ length emotionally, until she decided she was ready. Nothing about this relationship with Jonathan fit the pattern she normally followed. Mentally shrugging, she reflected it was also, so far, the best relationship she’d ever had, so she might as well go with it. She knew it was soon, but spending such close quarters with someone, day in and day out, had a way of speeding up relationships. She’d seen it over and over on the shows she’d filmed. She supposed she and Jonathan were no different, really.

  Kina had no idea whether they’d have sex tonight or not. She wanted it with him; there was no doubt about that. It was obvious they had sexual chemistry, but she was also enjoying the intimacy they had, without the pressure of sex to go with it.

  As they neared the end of the hallway where they were staying, Carl and Taylor said good night and entered their rooms without looking back. Jeff put his hand on his doorknob and looked back at Jonathan and Kina. Jonathan had taken her hand again and was holding it as Kina dug the key to her room out of her back pocket. Jeff had been quiet; he hadn’t made any snide remarks all night about the intimacy the two of them obviously shared. Kina braced herself. She figured he couldn’t hold out forever. He had to make some sort of comment. She figured he’d burst if he didn’t.

  He surprised both of them by simply raising one eyebrow and then mock-saluting them as he entered his own room and closed the door.

  Kina looked up at Jonathan and asked skeptically, “Do you think that’s the end of that?”

  “Frankly hon, I don’t care. He can think whatever he wants, as long as he doesn’t disrespect you.”

  Kina just shook her head. How the hell could he just get better and better?

  “I’ll give you some time to get ready. Half an hour okay? I’ll come back over, if that’ll work for you?”

  Kina leaned up toward Jonathan. He was perfect. Seriously. “Sounds good.”

  She kissed his lips briefly then turned and opened her door. She smiled at him as she shut it softly behind her. The second it closed she whirled around to face her room. Oh my God! How in the heck had she gotten it so messy in the short time she’d been there? She hurriedly started throwing clothes into drawers and tidying up. She only had thirty minutes to make the room presentable and to figure out what she was going to wear to bed.

  * * *

  Exactly thirty minutes later, Kina heard a soft tap at the door. She smoothed her hands down the sleep shirt she was wearing. She didn’t own anything sexy and figured Jonathan had better get used to her like this. She’d never understood how people could sleep in long slinky nightgowns or even skimpy little tops. Both of those would annoy her to no end while she was sleeping. Nightgowns tended to get twisted around her body and the sexy little tops were usually made with a lot of lace and other uncomfortable materials that would rub and irritate her skin all night.

  A thought struck her for the first time.Duh, maybe people didn’t actually sleep in those things, they only wore them for their partner and then they came off and they slept nude.

  Kina opened the door and smiled shyly at Jonathan. How the hell did the man look sexy as hell in everything he wore? He was wearing a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt that looked molded to his body. She stood back to let him enter her room. What was she doing? He was so out of her league. He’d said she was beautiful, but he was the beautiful one.

  Jonathan could tell Kina was starting to freak out. She looked sexy as hell standing there in a huge T-shirt with her feet crossed over one another. He entered the room, closed the door behind him and turned, then took her face in his hands and leaned down, tilting her face up to his. He kissed her, keeping it light, even though he wanted nothing more than to throw her down on the bed behind her and strip her out of that shirt.

  When he lifted his mouth from hers, he didn’t let go of her face. He asked teasingly, “Would you rather sleep with a basketball team or a chess team?” She laughed, as he’d meant her to. “Relax, Kina,” he scolded her gently. “It’s just me.”

  “That’s what I’m nervous about,” she answered, giggling nervously.

  “Come here.” Jonathan wrapped Kina up in his embrace. She fit against him perfectly. He just held her for a long moment. He let go, just enough for her to lean back to look up at him, but kept his hands clasped at her lower back.

  “There’s nothing I want more, than to strip you out of this sexy-as-all get-out shirt and make love to you all night long.” At her nod he kept going, not letting her speak. “But I don’t want to rush us. I know you’re mine. I know I want you for a lot longer than a quick fling while on location. I was serious the other night when I told you I wanted you to come with me to Arizona. I won’t bug you about it, but know what’s between us is more than just here and now. You’re more than just some itch to scratch while I’m here. Whatever you need, I’m here. For now, can we just hang out, get to know each other better, watch some TV, and get a good night’s sleep?”

  Kina was speechless, probably for the first time in her life. It was like Jonathancould reach right into her brain and pull out her innermost thoughts and desires. Yes, she wanted him. She wanted to see first-hand what was underneath the tight clothes he was wearing, but she also wanted to feel as if he wanted her forher, not just for her body.

  “I’d like that,” she told him with a smile. They made their way to the bed. Kina pulled back the covers and they crawled in. She nestled against him. Neither moved to turn on the television.

  “Tell me more about your family’s animal refuge.”

  Jonathan spent the next ten minutes talking all about the coyotes they helped rescue and the work that went into the refuge keeping the animals happy and healthy. Kina thought Jonathan was lucky to have such great parents and such a great legacy in his family.

  After a moment’s silence Jonathan asked, “Would you rather have a perfect sense of direction or a perfect sense of time?”

  After laughing and having a thorough debate on which would be better, Kina said, “I don’t know if I’ve told you this or not, Jonathan, but I like you.”

  Jonathan gave her a squeeze. “Good. You know, I like you too.”

  As Kina fell asleep in his arms, she thought it was one of the best days she’d had in a long time.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next few days were crazy for the camera crew. Eddie suddenly decided he wanted the four men who were left on the show to be filmed practically all day, every day, which was ridiculous because they weren’tdoing anything at the production house. A schedule was worked out between the five camera operators so that two of them would be at the house at all times. That meant long hours of work for all of them. Long,boring hours.

  Kina tried not to be upset at not being able to sleep in Jonathan’s arms. It was ridiculous. She’d been sleeping by herself for a long time now and she wasn’t the type of person who needed to sleep in a man’s arms in order to get a good night’s rest. And while she was sleeping well at night because she was exhausted, a part of her, deep down, admitted to likebeing in Jonathan’s arms at night. She worried about him. Was he still having nightmares? Washe sleeping all right? Gah. It was crazy. Of course, he was just fine. He was a guy. Guys slept with different women all the time. Right?

  Kina tried to convince herself that was true of Jo
nathan as well, but she knew he was different. She wasn’t sure how she knew, just that she did. They’d seen each other briefly in passing, one morning that week. Jonathan was coming back from his shift at the house, just as Kina was headed out. He’d walked right up to her and clasped the back of her neck and brought her head to rest on his chest. He always did that. Hauled her against him with a hand behind her neck or head. She should hate it. She should protest it. But she didn’t and couldn’t feel the need to. She wound her arms around his waist and held on.

  Jonathan hadn’t said much, but she could feel every muscle in his body relax once she was in his arms.

  “Are you okay?” she’d asked him quietly. “Are you sleeping all right? Any more nightmares?”

  “I’d sleep better with you in my arms. No more nightmares. Thank you for being concerned about me. I don’t think anyone I’ve ever dated wanted to know about my well-being before. It means a lot to me, hon.”

  He kissed the daylights out of her, backed her up, kissed her forehead briefly, then said as a goodbye endearment, “Would you rather never get enough sleep, or sleep so much you’re only awake for a few hours each day?”

  Kina smiled. God, he was cute. “Get some sleep, Jonathan,” she murmured, letting go of him and stepping back. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Be safe.”

  Those two words stayed with Kina the entire time it took to get to the house. Jonathan had begun to tell her that when they separated. He didn’t say, “Have a good day”, or “I’ll miss you,” it was always, “Be safe.” She figured it had something to do with Becky, but that wasn’t all of it. He truly wanted her to be safe when he wasn’t there with her, when he couldn’t be there to protect her himself.

  Today’s shift promised to be another boring day. Unfortunately, Jeff was her camera wing-man for the day. To be fair, he’d been behaving himself recently, but Kina had worked with him long enough to know there was no way he’d be able to control himself much longer. She knew he was bursting to say something snide and/or sexist to her.

  Their shift in the house started out with the men sitting around eating breakfast. It was quite boring. Even the contestants themselves seemed bored out of their skulls.

  It was Darius who came up with the bright idea of sneaking out of the house, which was surprising, since he was the stereotypical, serious chemist. Kina wouldn’t have thought he had it in him to be such a rebel. But she supposed the “Alaskan sickness” that sometimes came over the residents of Alaska in the winter didn’t discriminate against those who were only visiting.

  Knowing they had to take the cameras with them, the men decided to take the fifteen passenger van, instead of the small rental car Shannel and Eddie traveled in.

  Kina rolled her eyes at the men. They were acting more like teenagers who didn’t want to get caught sneaking out after curfew than grown men.

  She didn’t particularly like the fact they were leaving the house, but what choice did she have? She’d just have to roll with the punches. Kina tried once to convince the men they shouldn’t leave, but she was quickly overridden. They were on a mission. Even Jeff got in on the act and told her she was being a kill-joy and she should just go with it.

  Benedict was voted to be the driver, Jeff sat in the front seat filming the men while Kina sat in the back, off to the side, so she wouldn’t be in Jeff’s shot when he turned his camera around. They were driving around aimlessly. The guys had no idea where they were or what they wanted to do, they only knew they were “free” for the moment.

  Because Benedict was driving, he saw the strip club first. Of course the others enthusiastically agreed, it was the best idea to stop in for a while. Kina rolled her eyes again. Jeez. Could they really want this little visit to be on national television for all to see? She knew Eddie would be pissed they’d left the house, but he’d still use the footage, especially if they did something dumb. And this was as dumb as they could get.

  Benedict parked the monstrous van and everyone climbed out. It was ten in the morning, not exactly prime time for this type of establishment, but it was still open. Kina laughed to herself, knowing the types of women who would be dancing this early wouldn’t be the best the place had to offer. Those women worked the night shift, where they could make more money when there were more customers.

  The first issue materialized as soon as they walked inside. The manager came storming over, demanding the cameras be turned off. Kina couldn’t blame him. The place was horrible. Even in the dim light in the room she could see the tattered curtains, the worn and stained carpets, and the sad little stage where the strippers would dance. It smelled of stale cigarette and cigar smoke and something funky Kina couldn’t place. One of the only good things about the venture was the fact that there were only two other customers in the place.

  Jeff actually stepped up for once and calmed the manager down. He explained they were not from a documentary, or anything that would show his esteemed establishment in a negative light, but rather they were filming a reality show. He agreed they wouldn’t film any of the women dancing, but only the men on the reality show. Kina saw Jeff slip the sleazy manager a hundred dollar bill, which seemed to be what the guy was waiting for. Jerk.

  The men got a table and enthusiastically ordered beers. Kina was disgusted. Beer wasn’t her alcoholic drink of choice at any time, and certainly not so early in the morning. She tried to turn off the logical side of her brain and turn on her camera side. She had to get the men in the best light so the shots would be usable on TV. She couldn’t use the light on her camera, that would ruin the ambiance of the shot.

  For the next hour she and Jeff rotated around the table, filming the guys getting hammered and hitting on the waitresses. They hooted and hollered at the two strippers who occasionally took the stage for short, rather uninspired, pole dances. Finally, figuring she had enough shots of the men being idiots, she motioned to Jeff, that she was going to go outside for a break.

  Being smart, she left the camera inside with Jeff. She wasn’t going to risk bringing the expensive electronic equipment outside, in the rather questionable area of town, but she needed to get outside into the fresh air.

  It was still cold, but it felt great after the stifling atmosphere of the strip club. The cloying smell of perfume mixed with all the other disgusting smells was nauseating. Kina looked around. She knew Alaska was beautiful. She’d seen it firsthand on her outings with Jonathan and during the filming of the show, but this street was not beautiful at all.

  There was trash all around, as if no one cared about actually trying to put it in a garbage bin. There were plenty of used cigarettes strewn everywhere on the ground. She could just imagine the employees and customers alike stepping outside, smoking their cigarette down to the nub to get that last bit of nicotine before throwing it on the ground, stepping on it briefly, then disappearing back inside the dark building.

  Kina looked up and down the street. There were a few other businesses, but they were all currently closed, except for the liquor store at the end of the road. There weren’t many people around, but those that were had their heads down and were rushing from one place to another. There was a bus stop across from the strip club that had one rather unsavory looking character waiting for the next bus, at least that was what Kina assumed he was doing.

  She was startled to see the man was watching her. He was wearing black cargo pants and black boots, the kind she imagined soldiers wore. She couldn’t see what type of shirt he was wearing as he had on a long black coat which was buttoned up to his chin. Kina shivered. She was a pretty worldly woman, and she’d lived in some pretty scary places growing up as a child, so she could tell this guy was bad news. Break-time was over. Kina slipped back inside the rundown building regretfully. Even with the creepy bus stop guy, she’d much rather be outside in the fresh air than in there.

  For the first time since she’d arrived, Kina started to feel uncomfortable. She was truly on her own now. She saw Jeff had also put dow
n his camera, and was doing shots with the guys. Unbelievable.

  Kina marched over to the men. “What the hell, Jeff?”

  He mocked her and responded, “What the hell, Kina?”

  All the men thought it was the funniest thing they’d ever heard in their lives and erupted in laughter. Great. Just great.

  She reached down and hauled Jeff up by the collar of his shirt. He wasn’t expecting it and his arms pin wheeled as he tried to regain his balance. As the other men continued to laugh, Kina yanked Jeff away from the table toward the door. When they’d gotten far enough away so that the others couldn’t hear them, she lit into him.

  “Seriously? You know we aren’t supposed to hang out with the contestants! And drinking this early in the morning? We have to get them out of here and back to the house!”

  “Shut up, Kina. Serioushly,” he slurred, “haf some fun for once. You’re alwaysh so uptight. Have a drink with ush. Maybe then you can schow us what you’re schowing Jon-boy.”

  Kina shoved Jeff away from her as hard as she could. Jesus, he was an ass. She left him standing by the door and wandered over to the bar. She hauled herself up on one of the stools and refused to look back at the table of idiot men. The bartender came over to where she was sitting.

  “Can I get you anything?”

  “I’d love a bottle of water, if you have one,” Kina told her. She wasn’t going to drink anything out of a glass. Who knew what germs she’d get.