Frozen Hearts (Beyond Reality Book 3)

by Stoker, Susan

  The mood was solemn in the van until Nash broke the tension. “Although, we heard you kicked their asses.”

  Kina smiled. Shehad kicked butt. She just wanted this all to be done. She didn’t want them to keep bringing it up. She wouldn’t lie; she was glad they were sorry and that they’d apologized. Hopefully they’d learn from it, but she also wanted it done.

  “It’s okay, guys. I know how stir crazy it can be, cooped up in the production house. If you ever do anything like that again, I’ll bring out the pictures I took of you all with those skanky strippers.”

  At their horrified looks, she let them off the hook. “Kidding. But you’d better hope Eddie doesn’t want to use the footage wedid take before the day got too crazy.”

  Everyone got out of the van after arriving at the house. Privacy was at a premium since everyone was now staying at the set. Kina knew she had to talk to Jonathan. He’d been quiet, too quiet. She didn’t like it. She’d prefer him to be talking to her and joking. She missed it and she didn’t like the awkwardness that surrounded them both.

  “Can I talk to you, Jonathan?” she asked as they walked towards the house, honestly, not knowing what he’d say.

  “Of course.”

  She should’ve known he wouldn’t play games with her. “My room, after we get our cameras put away?” Since she was the only woman on the crew she had her own room. The guys all had to share a room. It was the only place she could think of that was guaranteed to be private. She desperately wanted things back the way they were between them, but wasn’t sure how to get them there.

  * * *

  Jonathan took a deep breath. Thank God, Kina was going to talk to him. The day had been torture. He was glad the men had apologized. He knew he’d guilted them into it last night, but it was the right thing to do. He just hoped he could get Kina to listen to him, because he’d never be able to sit back and let her get hurt or disparaged and not do something about it. It’d be a change for her, but that’s just the way it was. He couldn’t change the person he was, just as he didn’t want to change who she was.

  He knocked on Kina’s door about ten minutes later. He opened it when he heard her call for him to enter.

  Kina was sitting on the edge of the bed looking uncomfortable. He opened his month to say something, he wasn’t sure what, when she beat him to it.

  “I’m sorry, Jonathan. I was out of line.”

  He shook his head. “No, you really weren’t. I don’t want you thinking you can’t disagree with me. There’ll be times when we don’t agree, hon. Hell, I love that you can stand up to me. I don’t ever want you to think that you can’t. I’d even venture to guess we’ll probably disagree a lot. You’re passionate and I love that about you.” When Kina opened her mouth to say something, he interrupted her again.

  “But, you have to understand the way I am. Iknow you can take care of yourself, if you couldn’t,you’d most likely be in the hospital because those guys would’ve done unspeakable things to you. But you don’thave to do it all by yourself anymore. I know you’re independent and strong as hell, but that doesn’t mean I won’t protect you. I still don’t think you understand this yet, but you’re mine. No one disrespects you and gets away with it. Let that sink in. I told you before and I’ll keep saying it, until you get it.”

  Jonathan watched Kina as she sagged back on the bed. He stared at her, willing her to understand.

  “When I was with Matt, we went out one time to have dinner. The waiter was cute and was harmlessly flirting with me. Matt didn’t like it. He yelled at me all the way home, about how I was acting like a whore and didn’t I know I was his? When we got home, he said he was going out and would be back. When he got home later that night, it was obvious he’d been in a fight. I found out later he went back to the restaurant and waited for the waiter to get off work. He beat the hell out of him right there in the parking lot, just to prove to himself that I was his and that no one flirted with his property. It embarrassed the hell out of me and I felt so bad for that poor waiter. He hadn’t done anything wrong. It made me feel like I’d done something wrong, when I hadn’t. It also made me realize I never wanted to be in a relationship like that again.”

  As much as he hated to hear her story, Jonathan got it. “I didn’t touch them, Kina.”

  “I know. I figured that out, but I didn’t know that this morning when you wanted to talk. I should’ve known you weren’t like Matt, but I was stuck in the past. I heard you call me ‘yours’ and I was afraid you’d be like him. I’m sorry, Jonathan. I know you aren’t like him. I do. I swear.”

  Jonathan walked over to Kina and knelt in front of her. He took her hands in his and stared up at her. “I’m not like him, hon. But you have to know, I’ll protect you with my life if I have to. I want to stand next to you, not in front of you, but again, if I need to, I’ll shove you behind me so fast, you won’t know what hit you. If you want to flirt with a waiter, go for it. It’s not going to make me lose control. I’ll just know at the end of the night, you’re going home with me, and you’ll be in my bed. In fact, I encourage you to flirt with whoever you want, just know any time you do, I’ll find a way to remind you that you’re mine, while you’re flirting.” He smiled at her, imagining running his fingers up her thigh under the table while she smiled at a waiter.

  He got serious again and repeated what he’d just told her. “I didn’t touch them last night, Kina. I made it very clear that what they did was seriously messed up. They weren’t too happy with me, but they understood where I was coming from. They were mortified about what happened to you and what could've happened to you. They had no idea what you went through and I think that was what finally got to them the most.”

  “What about Jeff?”

  He sighed. He figured this was coming. “I had a talk with Eddie as well.” He put his finger to her lips, knowing she’d protest. “Listen, please. Jeff had it coming. You know it as well as I do. He wasn’t fired for good. I just explained to Eddie, how Jeff had no respect for any woman. That he wasn’t good for the camaraderie of the camera crew. Since it’s the end of the show and he didn’t really need him, Eddie agreed to move him off the show. I should’ve shared this with you before I did it, but I saw red when I saw you’d been hurt and I hadn’t been there. Not only did Jeff not do anything about it, but he’d joined the other idiots in getting hammered. It wasn’t cool of him and although on some level, it wasn’t cool of me to do what I did, again, I couldn’t just let it go. I hope you understand.”

  He held his breath until Kina nodded. She opened her lips and licked his finger still resting there. Jonathan moaned, actually moaned. God, she was so sexy and holding himself back from her was killing him.

  Kina smiled. She knew they had more to talk about. She was putting off having the conversation about what she was going to do after the show was over. She desperately wanted to let Jonathan know she’d come to Arizona with him, but she was scared. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was what she should do, but at the same time she finally knew she wanted a change. She was ready to get away from filming reality shows.

  She watched as he drew in a harsh breath. The little moan she’d heard from his lips was sexy as hell. It was getting harder and harder to not jump him, especially when she knew he felt the same way about her. She glanced at his manhood, prominently displayed between his legs as he knelt there. She winced. It looked uncomfortable.

  “Are you staying here tonight?” she shyly asked.

  “Ah, love, there’s nothing I’d like more, but if I do, I think we both know what’ll happen. I want you more than you know, but I also want our coming together to be because we know it’s a permanent thing. I’ll wait for you to know for sure. I don’t want to just be an itch you want to scratch. But I warn you now, when you do come to me, I’m keeping you. I won’t let you go. When that’s what you want, come to me. I’ll spend hours making sure you don’t regret your decision.”

  Holy crap. Kina squirmed on the bed. Th
at was hot. She knew when they did finally get together they’d be explosive.

  She watched as Jonathan leaned toward her to take her lips with his. He plundered her mouth; there was no other word for it. He tasted and caressed every part of her. It was over long before Kina was ready. He leaned back and put his hand on her cheek. “Thank you for not letting this be the end of us. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Dazed, Kina could only nod. He was dangerous, that was for sure.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kina tried not to laugh as Darius, Roger, and Nash were fitted with crampons. Their last challenge to determine who the final two contestants would be was a classic Alaskan rite-of-passage. They would be trekking across the Portage Glacier, hitting checkpoints along the way. Of course, since the men would be trekking across the glacier, that meant the camera crew would too.

  Eddie had actually gone all out and hired a local sightseeing company to fly a helicopter overhead and film the men walking along. Taylor, the lucky duck, was chosen to be the one who’d film from the air.

  The men would be, of course, timed, and whoever was the slowest to get to the final checkpoint would be leaving the show. To up the ante, and the drama, the men would be leaving at different times, so they’d have no idea how long the others were taking.

  They’d seemed to collect themselves after the last challenge and they all seemed as if they actually wanted to be there again. Kina had been worried after Benedict had left. It would certainly be a let-down of the entire show, if all three contenders bagged the last few competitions. She wasn’t sure what had happened to make them change their minds, but the days they’d spent together in the house waiting for the next competition obviously did them good.

  Kina wasn’t looking forward to the day. She was in good shape, but knew it’d be tedious and somewhat dangerous to walk on the glacier while filming at the same time. She’d have to watch where she was putting her feet, but she couldn’t do that with one eye glued to the viewfinder of a camera.

  She was assigned to Roger for the day. She didn’t really have a preference for one man over another. They were all pretty decent guys, the strip club incident notwithstanding. She glanced over at Jonathan. He’d be with Darius for the day. Darius didn’t look too sure about having Jonathan following him all day, but she knew he’d get over it as soon as he started concentrating on completing the challenge.

  Jonathan had held her hand the entire trip to the glacier. Before they’d gotten out of the van he’d leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Stay safe today, hon.”

  She got goose bumps every time he’d said that to her. He wasn’t just saying it; it was obvious he meant it.

  She and Roger were second to start the competition. Carl and Nash were first, and Jonathan and Darius were the last to leave. The trek across the glacier wasn’t too strenuous, but there were some large crevasses they had to get around. At each checkpoint the men had to do an activity. At one stop they had to prepare a fish for eating, including scaling it and taking out the guts. At another stop, they were to braid a series of ropes together that could be used in rappelling. And at the last stop, they were supposed to build a sort of snow shelter that would be the type used if they were ever caught out in a snowstorm. For the last activity, Eddie had flown in truckloads of snow to use. The glacier just didn’t have the snow needed, on the surface, for that kind of task.

  Roger did pretty well at all three of the check points. They were well on their way to the finish line when he stupidly got too close to the edge of a large crevasse. Because of the summer heat and the melting of the top layer of ice all summer, it wasn’t stable. Kina saw the ice start to break off under his feet, before Roger even felt it.

  “Look out!” she called out, not even thinking about keeping quiet for the sake of the show.

  Roger whipped his head around to look at her and she could see the second he figured out what was happening. The panicked look on his face spurred her into action. She dropped the camera, without a care to its value, and leaped toward Roger. Luckily he threw his body at her at the same time. She landed on her butt and grabbed his wrists with her hands. She dug her crampons into the layer of ice just at the side of the gaping hole widening under Roger alarmingly.

  Roger was kicking at the empty air beneath his legs as he frantically tried to get back to more stable ground.

  “Dig your shoes into the ice!” Kina called to him, trying to back herself, and Roger, away from the hole. “Do it!” she commanded, seeing he was losing it and panicking. Thank God she had the little spikes on her boots. They allowed her to grip the ice and give them some leverage. Without them, they’d both have been on their way to the bottom of the big crack in the ice by now.

  She sighed in relief when she saw Roger listening to her and doing as she said. She was strong, but Roger was a big man, and he was wearing a large backpack which was weighing him down. She wasn’t going to let go. She couldn’t.

  Kina strained backward at the same time Roger tried to use his legs and feet to gain purchase and push himself toward her. Just as she felt her hands slipping off his wrists she felt them slowly making progress. Inch by precious inch they backed away from the cold gaping hole that had tried to swallow Roger. When they’d scooted far enough away that his feet were no longer dangling into space, Kina finally let go of the death grip she’d had on his wrists and watched as he scrambled to his hands and knees and crawled away from the hole in the glacier.

  She quickly crab-walked backward at the same time and scooted on her butt to a safe distance away from the unstable ground. When they were both well away from the danger of being sucked back into the hole, they collapsed on the ground.

  “Holy shit,” Kina said under her breath. “That was close.”

  She was totally unprepared for Roger to surge upward, grab her hand, and pull her into a huge bear hug. She knew how he felt. She’d felt the same way in Australia when Sam saved her from the poisonous snake. When you see your life pass before your eyes, you’re just so grateful to have another chance at living.

  “Jesus,” Roger exclaimed. “Thank you. Shit.” He couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence.

  Kina smiled and held him just as tightly. She had to admit to herself that she was probably just as freaked as he was. She patted him on the back, trying to help both of them regain their equilibrium. Finally pulling herself back together, she asked, “You ready to get off this godforsaken piece of ice?”

  Roger pulled back and looked Kina in the eyes, not ready to let it go yet. “Seriously, thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve…”

  Kina interrupted him. “I know, Roger, I know. I’m glad I was here. You’re okay. Let’s go?”

  They both picked themselves up off the ice and headed toward the finish line. The camera she’d so carelessly dropped as Roger had started being sucked into the hole miraculously seemed to be all right. Kina noticed Roger was being a lot more careful about where he walked. He also kept his pace slow and steady, so Kina could easily keep up with him.

  As expected, Carl and Nash were already at the finish point when they arrived, but that didn’t necessarily mean they’d been faster than Roger and herself. Since they’d left in waves, there was no telling whose time was faster. Kina didn’t say anything about what happened to her and Roger; she just went over to where Carl was standing and joined him. Not too much later, Jonathan and Darius arrived. Jonathan looked relieved to see her as he came into the finish line area. Kina felt the same relief at seeing him. She understood a bit more about why he felt the way he did about her, because she felt that same protectiveness toward him.

  It finally struck her. If she felt that way about him, his feeling that same protectiveness about her couldn’t be wrong. She knew he wouldn’t want her to protect him, but the feeling was still there. It made sense. She got it. Finally. He’d protect her, just as she’d protect him. Knowing what had happened to her and not knowing whether Jonathan was all right as he trekked across th
e dangerous ice made it all too clear. It wasn’t like she wanted to hold him back, or own him; she just wanted to make sure he was safe.

  Shannel got the men all lined up the way she wanted and began the ceremony. She went around to each man and talked about their experiences on the glacier. Kina tensed, knowing what was coming. She wished Roger would keep his mouth shut, but knew he wouldn’t. His feelings of gratitude were still too raw and new.

  “I almost died out there today,” Roger said solemnly. It was almost comical how everyone’s head whipped toward him as he spoke. Kina kept her eyes on Roger through her lens. She couldn’t look at Jonathan right now, finally understanding how he’d be feeling. She knew she’d feel the same way, if Nash dropped a bomb like the one Roger just lobbed into the group.

  Of course Shannel encouraged Roger to keep talking.

  Roger told everyone how he’d been admiring the bright blue color of the glacier inside the crevasse and how, before he even knew something was wrong, it was collapsing under him. He described how Kina had grabbed hold of him and prevented him from falling to his death. Without lifting her head from her camera, Kina felt Jonathan’s hand at the small of her back. He pressed into her, but didn’t say anything or further distract her from her job.

  Roger embellished the telling of the dramatic story, but the underlying emotion was real. She really had saved his life. She knew it, he knew it, and now everyone else knew it too. Kina watched as Roger broke out of his place in line and started toward her. Jonathan lifted the camera out of her hands, she briefly saw the emotion in his eyes, and then Roger was there. He brought her into his arms and just hugged her, again, grabbing on tight. The retelling of the story had obviously made him emotional again.

  Kina closed her eyes and leaned against him. He was a decent guy who’d had the scare of his life. She felt happy; he was man enough to show emotion and not care who was watching. She had no idea if this would show up on TV, knowing how Eddie felt about the contestants mixing with the camera crew, but she didn’t care. She was glad she’d been there at just the right time.