Bonds of Desire

by Lynda Aicher

  Taking a deep breath, he pressed the button and waited for his phone to turn on. When he’d woken in the middle of the night, he’d realized it was his best opportunity to make the call. The one he’d put off all week. This part of his life didn’t need to touch Allie and Seth.

  He pressed the speed-dial button and waited for the connection to go through. He wasn’t worried about the time. This was prime working hours for the agency.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” The distance of the phone connection didn’t hinder the anger that came through with the voice.

  Tyler kept his sigh to himself. He tugged on his bangs and tried to keep his voice even. “I told you I couldn’t work for a while.”

  “That doesn’t give you the right to drop off the charts. You know the rules. I fucking call, you fucking answer.”

  “Sorry.” He had to force the apology to come across as sincere. “I didn’t have my phone charger.” Which wasn’t a lie. He’d also turned off his phone after his last conversation with the agency. This week was for him. One he hadn’t wanted to ruin with reminders of the stark truth that was his real life.

  “Which brings me back my first question. Where the fuck are you?” The growl came out like it was spoken through gritted teeth. Tyler had never met the owner of the voice, but his mental picture wasn’t kind. “We sent Tony by your place. He said it looked like no one had been there for a while. Are you running?”

  A thin line of fear coiled in his stomach. Tony was a bad-ass muscle man who could protect or harm, depending on the orders he received. “I’m not running.” This time he was pretty certain his voice didn’t sound so calm. “I told you I was staying at a friend’s until I healed.”

  The grunt that came through didn’t seem convinced. “We want you back in rotation next week.”

  “Right. Can you give me ’til Thursday?” Tyler bargained. To disagree completely wouldn’t do any good. He might hate that fact, but it was still better than being back on the street. The pay and clients were way better through the agency. And until this incident, it’d been a hell of a lot safer. “I should be good to go by then.”

  The lie was almost true. Physically, he was okay. His wounds were mostly healed, and he hadn’t been in pain for a while. He’d stopped taking the stool softeners yesterday without any issues. But mentally, the thought of bending over for anyone still made him cringe. It’s a good thing he was an expert at faking it.

  Only, he’d never had to fake it with Seth and Allie. Damn it. Thoughts like that wouldn’t get him anywhere.

  “Good.” There was a long silence, broken only by that telling sniff that put Tyler on edge. His jaw clenched as he waited. “Master Rex is still calling for you. He’s requested you as soon as you’re back.”

  “No!” Fuck. He knew that was coming. Just like he knew he had to leave here. Still didn’t make either of them easier to handle. “I won’t go back to him. Not after what he did to me.”

  “He said you didn’t safe word.”

  “He didn’t give me a safe word,” Tyler snapped as he thrust out of the chair. He gripped the back of his neck, seeking the calm that always settled over him when Seth did that. But it didn’t work. “No. Just...no.”

  There was that sniff. It was a disgusting habit, but it always prepared him. “This isn’t going to go down well. He’s offering two thousand for three hours.”

  “I thought you were supposed to watch out for us.” He scrambled for some kind of justification. “If Master Rex does this again, I could be out for even longer. That’s more money we’d both lose.”

  The low chuckled didn’t appease Tyler at all. “It won’t matter. That rate makes up for it. You sure you want to turn down an easy grand?” That would be Tyler’s take from the transaction plus any extra agreed to privately with Master Rex.

  “Yes.” He closed his eyes in disbelief. Yeah, he needed the money, but not that badly. And it wouldn’t be easy. His stomach churned at the thought of how much damage the john could do in three hours.

  The grunt of disapproval instantly brought back the sneering look from his father that had always accompanied that sound. “Think about it. It’s a lot of money to turn down for a few hours of work.”

  “Right.” Tyler suspected he’d come to regret this choice. Chances were he’d be back to the bottom of the pile on the john selection. Fortunately, he’d built up a few regulars over the past year who weren’t so bad.

  “Answer my call next time.” The click of the call disconnecting ended the conversation.

  Shit. How’d my life get to this point? He’d thought of running far away a number of times, of starting over. But the noose his father had left around his neck would only tighten until he finally got rid of it.

  For the first time in days, the gruff voice of his dad rolled through his mind. You’ll never be more than what you are, boy.

  Yeah. Thanks to you, Dad.

  He turned the phone off again, not caring about the agency’s demands. He still had time here, and the real world could wait. His stomach rumbled, reminding him of why he’d woken in the first place.

  The ice cream container was cold against Tyler’s palm as he grabbed it from the freezer. He looked at the label and smiled. French vanilla—he should have guessed. Classic and clean, nothing wild or crazy for Seth. Well, except for the sex.

  Tyler sighed as the vanilla goodness melted in his mouth. Fan-fucking-tabulous. This was another thing his budget and diet didn’t allow. Sweet luxuries like ice cream.

  He took another bite and wandered over to stare out one of the large windows. The darkness of night edged toward dawn. This time of year, morning came way too early by his standards. Then most of his work was done during the afternoon or evenings. Not a lot of business for dawn fuck or sucks.

  He flipped the latch and pulled the hinge window down. Seth had turned on the air when the rain had stopped and the humidity had returned. He’d lived in Minneapolis his entire life, so the muggy thickness didn’t really bother him. Hell, his studio didn’t have a full kitchen, let alone air-conditioning. He’d slept outside enough to appreciate the freedom that came with it the fresh air. Yet it’d been a week since he’d left this loft. The fact that he wasn’t going stir-crazy by now said too much.

  The soft thump of bare feet over the hardwood had him turning to see Allie heading toward him. The gentle curve of her smile was warm and sleep-filled. “Hey,” she said, her low voice scratchy from sleep. She brushed her hair out of her eyes, the curls tangling over her shoulders in a mussed reminder of their evening.

  Allie had been with them for four days now. He didn’t know why she’d stayed after that first night. But then, why had he?

  “Hey,” he said back. There was a soft glow through the windows that wasn’t strong enough to fill the interior space. The moon had already set, but earlier it’d been big and full and had filled Seth’s room with a blue-white hue that’d made Allie’s skin look like cream.

  “What are you doing out here?” She hugged her arms and glanced around.

  He held up the ice cream carton. “I was hungry.”

  “Oh. Ice cream. Is there any left?”

  He tipped the carton to assess the remains. “Yeah. But it’s melting fast.”

  Her laughter was low and soft as she hurried over to take the coveted treat. She didn’t even hesitate before she scooped out a large spoonful. It hit her mouth with a deep hum.

  “Good, huh?”

  She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated motion. “Heaven.” She took another bite and hugged the container to her chest.

  “Hey. Don’t you know how to share?”

  Her sigh of annoyance was big and deep, but her smile softened the meaning. She dipped into the ice cream then held the spoonful out to him. He accepted the bite, thinking it was possibly the best spoon of ice cream he’d ever had. He didn’t have any siblings and simple, fun moments like this weren’t apart of his experiences.

  She settled into an even distribu
tion on turns until there was only a soupy layer of mush left at the bottom. The spoon banged around on the cardboard carton as she scraped the last bit out. “Do you want it?”

  Yeah. He did.

  He savored the goodness, holding it on his tongue until he had to swallow it down. “Thanks.”

  She chuckled. “I’m the one who stole it from you.” She looked around then set the carton on small window ledge. He almost groaned out loud when she proceed to lick her fingers free of any remaining stickiness. He could have done that for her, but watching each digit slide in and out of her lips was too erotic to interrupt.

  Sometimes he wondered if she understood the effect she had on him and Seth. He shook his head and circled her waist to hold her back tight to his front. She’d slipped on another of Seth’s T-shirts, and the fabric was soft against his bare chest.

  They stood there for a while, her body heat soaking into him, the silence broken by the occasional rumble of a distant truck and the high chatter from the flock of birds on the neighboring rooftop. This was peace in its simplest form.

  He snuggled his nose into her curls to inhale the subtle scent of her shampoo. The memory of her insisting on using her own hair products when they’d all crammed into Seth’s shower that afternoon made him smile. The shower was larger than any Tyler had been in. But with three of them taking up space, it’d been a sensual experience of slippery skin, soapy hands and waterlogged kisses. One more thing to add to his growing list of best-ever experiences.

  “Have you thought any more about pressing charges?” Allie’s quiet question made him tense. “It’s not too late if you want to.”

  “No,” he bit out, the word harsher than necessary. She only wanted to help, he got that. But there was no way he was plastering his face in front of the fucking cops. He stepped away, the comfort of the moment gone.

  “Wait.” She spun around to grab his arm. “I’m sorry. Don’t...run.” Her eyes were dark and pleading. “I won’t push. I promise. Just don’t run away from me.”

  Run. Was that what he was doing? But what was he running from? Them, his past, himself, his life? Her fingers dug into his arm, his skin hot under her palm. No, he couldn’t run from Seth and Allie. Not until he had to.

  He pulled her back into his arms, and she burrowed into his chest like she belonged there. And she did. Damn, how she did.

  “What am I missing?” Seth’s deeper voice had the tension slipping from Tyler’s shoulders. There wasn’t jealousy or anger in the question. Only curiosity. A part of him kept waiting for the bad emotions to come between them. But they hadn’t, not yet.

  Allie shifted to peek around Tyler. “Ice cream.” She gave a wicked smile that reminded him of a kid who knew she’d gotten away with something.

  “What?” The dismay was mocking, the smile showing even though Tyler hadn’t turned to look at Seth. “You ate it all and didn’t share? I think you owe me now.”

  The strong, solid length of Seth pressed gently against Tyler’s back, skin on skin. His wounds had healed enough to allow the touch. Tyler couldn’t hold back the sigh as Seth ran his hands down Tyler’s arms to wrap Allie and Tyler in his hold. If Tyler could claim to know perfection, this would be it.

  “It’s Tyler’s fault,” Allie said, her breath tickling his chest. “He scored it first.”

  Seth nipped Tyler’s neck, that spot right below his ear that always shot a fire of desire straight to his dick. “I’ll have to think of a just punishment.”

  Tyler muffled his moan in Allie’s hair. He’d gladly take any punishment Seth dished out if it gave him more time with these two.

  “I think he likes the sound of that.” Allie chuckled as she swiveled her hips over his growing erection. “You guys are insatiable.”

  “Only with you two,” he whispered, squeezing his eyes closed. Damn, he wanted to hold on to this. If only...

  “Hey.” Seth leaned to the side and lifted Tyler’s bangs from their custom spot on his brow. “What’s up?”

  The concern in his voice was almost too much. It warmed that empty, cold spot that had lived inside of Tyler for as long as he could remember. And that was very, very dangerous. Allie pressed a kiss to his chest, her lips moist and soft over his heart. Damn it.

  “I upset him,” Allie said. “I pushed him again to press charges. I shouldn’t have. But I can’t stand the thought of some bastard getting away with what he did to him.”

  “Don’t.” His arms flexed around her, the action a muscle spasm of denial. “Just drop it, okay? It’s done and over.”

  “Is it, though? Really?”

  He didn’t want to answer Seth. Admitting anything would only make them keep digging, yet he couldn’t lie to them. Not to these two, who had shown him nothing but kindness since the fuck-awful night in discussion.

  So instead, he turned his head and captured Seth’s mouth in a deep, taking kiss. The words wouldn’t come, but he could show them both how grateful he was. How much they’d both come to mean to him in such a short time. He held the back of Seth’s head and press in harder, taking until his lips hurt and his tongue found every part of Seth’s mouth. He took until the pain stopped and the panic passed.

  Easing back, the embarrassment swooped in to cloak him in insecurity. He sniffed back the emotion and averted his eyes.

  “I thought so,” Seth breathed against Tyler’s neck.

  It was a moment before Tyler understood the moisture on his chest. The light flutter of Allie’s eyelashes as she blinked back her tears felt like whispers of empathy. It was too much and not enough.

  He pressed his cheek to Seth’s, the scuff of the man’s beard scratching over his pathetically smooth one, his hold still firm on Seth’s head. He threaded his finger through Allie’s hair and absorbed the press of her damp cheek on his skin.

  He wished like hell that they would always be there to hold him up, even though he knew that was impossible. So instead of reaching for dreams, he closed his eyes and once again held on.

  * * *

  Allie clung to her men, pulling on Seth’s hips until Tyler was bound tight between them. She wanted to take away all of Tyler’s pain until he no longer doubted Seth and her. He was so much more than his past. If only he could see that.

  She tugged him down to place a gentle kiss on his lips. Tyler needed the softness just as much as the hardness, even if he didn’t know that or want to admit it.

  He tilted his head, opening up to the light pressure of her tongue. His hand fisted in her hair, fingers wrapping around the strands until they pulled on her scalp. Her breath caught and she had a second to get air before he took over to pour the same passion-blended fury into their kiss that he’d done with Seth.

  She didn’t deny him either. It didn’t even cross her mind to do so. Tyler claimed more than her mouth with his desperate need. His tongue and lips did the physical damage, but it was his bared and bleeding heart that reached in and stole a piece hers.

  “We’ve got you, Tyler,” Seth said. “We’ve got you.”

  The words seemed to penetrate something within Tyler, for he eased up, the frantic demand curling back to breathy nips and light brushes. Their breath panted between them, and she tried to slow her racing pulse with long, deep inhales. Tyler rested his head against hers. He smelled of sex and man and the lingering spice that she now recognized as Seth’s soap.

  “I don’t understand why.” Tyler’s whispered admission tore at her like the sharp end of the whip that’d flayed his back.

  “You don’t have to understand,” Seth told him. “You just have to accept.”

  Tyler’s hand tightened in her hair. His voice, when he spoke, was rough and hoarse. “Yes, Seth.”

  Tyler was deferring. He’d stepped back into the safety of the submissive role without really believing what Seth said. He didn’t think they would be there for him and damn it, that hurt.

  But was Tyler right? How could they possibly have anything more than right now?

  “Y
ou can trust us,” she found herself saying, even though she wasn’t sure how he could. “For more than this. We’re not going away when the weekend’s over. We’ll still be here to help you.”

  He choked out a pained laugh. “Right. Your worlds don’t belong with mine. I know this. It’s okay. I’m not asking for more.”

  “Maybe you should,” Seth said. “Maybe we all should.”

  “No.” Tyler’s sharp denial left no room for negotiation.

  She jerked back to stare at both men. Tyler wouldn’t look at her, instead choosing to glare at some distant spot out the window behind her. His face was closed, his lips pressed into a thin line.

  Seth searched Tyler’s profile, his eyes hiding none of the longing that he usually wouldn’t show. He turned those intriguing eyes to her, the emotion remaining for a split second longer before he closed his eyes and tipped his head to place a kiss on Tyler’s shoulder.

  Could Seth really want this to last? He was the one she thought would be running the fastest when it all ended. Yet what she just saw said differently.

  “My father died when I was very young.” Seth’s voice was so low that Allie had to strain to hear his words, more mumbled than spoken against Tyler’s shoulder. “My mother disconnected after that. My world was filled with things. The best clothes, school, gadgets, house. But I was so fucking alone.”

  Allie didn’t know how to respond, so she said what was in her heart. “You’re not alone now.”

  “Yeah.” His soft agreement wasn’t very convincing. “Right.”

  “How’d he die?” Tyler asked.

  “Heart attack.”

  Tyler gave a soft snort. “Mine too. Can’t say I was sad about it.”

  “Don’t remember mine. But I missed the memory of him.”

  There was little she could add, but she was touched by what they were both revealing.

  “Sometimes memories aren’t that great to have,” Tyler said.

  “And sometime they’re all you have. Good or bad.” Seth’s arms flexed around them, his hold tighter for a second.

  “Can we drop this?” Tyler’s questioned startled her with its harshness. “I don’t want to ruin what’s left.” He swallowed, and she tracked the bob and dip of his Adam’s apple. In what felt like slow motion, he untangled his hand from her hair and let his arms fall to his sides. “If there’s anything left.”