Bonds of Desire

by Lynda Aicher

  “Where’s he now?”

  “I don’t know. He won’t answer his phone.”

  “Damn it. Can you meet me at his place?”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “I was hoping you’d say that. Do you need a ride?”

  “No.” There was rustling, as if he was shifting the phone around. “I’m good.”

  “Okay.” She pushed on her front door, eager to get her purse and keys. Her shoulder slammed into the wood, stopped by the deadbolt. Damn it, it was locked. Of course. She always went to Cali’s through the back courtyard. “Meet me by the employee garage. I know the code.”

  “Allie?”

  “Yes?” She spun around and hurried back down the walk toward to the courtyard gate.

  “How are you?”

  “Worried,” she answered, her voice quavering with the honesty. More than she could express. Seth would take all of this hard and personally. “You.”

  “The same.” His admission made her feel better. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay.” She ended the call just as she rounded the corner of the building and stopped short. She didn’t have the damn gate key. What was she thinking? Obviously she wasn’t.

  Her sandals slapped over the sidewalk as she rushed back to Cali’s place. The only way into her condo was through Cali’s. That meant facing her friends and brazing the interrogation she’d hoped to avoid.

  She flung open the door to find the Cali and Kendra waiting for her at the end of the hall. She took a deep breath.

  “Will you tell us what’s going on? Jake said Seth did something to anger that politician, but he didn’t go into details.” Cali’s green eyes were filled with the same troubled unease that plagued Allie. “You know, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” she answered. “But it’s not my place to say.”

  “Were you talking to Tyler?”

  There was no getting around that, and Allie to realize she didn’t want to. “Yes. He’s worried about Seth, too.” She headed down the hall. “I need to go. I’m meeting Tyler at The Den.”

  Cali stepped aside, but Kendra grabbed her arm, stopping her as she passed.

  “Are you really okay?” Kendra prodded, concern coating her words. “Is there something we can do?”

  Allie took a breath and absorbed some of the strength from her friends. They would be there for her no matter what happened or what choice she made regarding her personal life. “This all goes back to that night Tyler was beaten by that Dom. That’s all I can tell you right now.”

  Kendra let go. “You know we’re here for you, right?”

  As soon as her arm was free, Allie headed to the sliding glass door. She yanked it open then paused to answer. “I do. Thanks.”

  And she did. But right now she could only think about one thing. Seth.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  The sidewalk passed under Tyler’s feet, the wire fence taunting him with each anxious step he took in front of the gated employee parking lot. He kept to the shade provided by the building, but his T-shirt still clung to his damp back. Another glance up the street got nothing. Where was she?

  He yanked his phone out of his jeans’ pocket and seconds later was listening to the recorded voice mail message, again. Seth was playing a great game of turnaround and not answering Tyler’s calls. It wasn’t surprising after all of the calls he’d ignored from the man. He ended the call then spun around to level a frustrated kick at the chain-link fence. The angry clank and rattle of the metal vibrated down the length of the fence but didn’t help.

  His initial flash of panic at Allie’s call had bloomed into full-on distress when she’d explained what’d happened to Seth. The cab ride over to The Den had given his emotions plenty of time to fester into a big crap-pile of everything.

  He still couldn’t grasp that Seth had risked so much for him. His therapy sessions were helping him accept that sometimes people did nice things for others just because they cared. Logically he’d always gotten that, but trusting it was another thing. Now Seth needed their help, and damn if he was going to slink out on the man.

  The sleek, black Cadillac looked so of place as it came down the street that Tyler took a step back. A car like that required serious cash and in his experience only gang members, drug runners or pimps had that kind of money. His fists relaxed and his breath eased when he saw Allie’s curly hair and wide smile through the windshield.

  She stopped the fancy car at the curb and rolled down her window. “Get in.”

  Shit. He pressed a palm to the sudden pinch in his chest. She was more beautiful than he’d remembered. The locks clicked and he tried to stuff his feelings away as he got in the car. He sunk into the leather seat and leaned over to meet her hug.

  Fuck, she felt so good. The cool interior was filled with the distinctive floral scent that he still couldn’t define, other than to say it was hers. He cupped the back of her head, rubbed his nose into the softness of her hair and inhaled. Damn, he’d missed her so much. There was no way he could remain distant. He didn’t want to either.

  “Tyler.” Her voice was muffled against his neck, her breath teasing his skin.

  He eased back and took her mouth in a hard kiss. It didn’t matter that he shouldn’t or that he had no real right to do it—he took it anyway. She tilted her head and met his aggression with her own. Their tongues battled in a desperate reclaiming of what they’d missed. And it wasn’t enough.

  There was so much more he wanted from her—them. Yeah, he wanted both of them. Somehow, his two lovers had bullied their way into his life, and he didn’t think he could walk away from them again.

  But first, they had to get to Seth.

  With reluctance he slowed the kiss, nipping her lip then soothing it as he leaned back to stare into her deep brown eyes. “We need to find him.”

  “Right.” Her eyes held the same concern that pooled in him and curbed some of his fear. She still cared about them. That was a start.

  She turned back to the steering wheel and pulled up to the security box. She punched in a code and a minute later she was turning into a parking spot in the garage beneath the building.

  Tyler was out of the car before she’d cut the engine. He waited for her by the trunk then they both rushed toward the elevator. He snagged her hand and laced their fingers together as they waited for the elevator.

  “Do you think he’s gone?”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “His car’s still here.”

  Tyler followed her gaze to the black SUV parked in the corner. He kind of recognized it from the night they’d taken him to the emergency room. “Good.”

  The elevator doors slid open, and they stepped into the air-conditioned comfort of the little box. Allie punched in a code on the keypad and she released a sigh when the light around the number four button lit up and the elevator started to move.

  She stepped back and reclaimed his hand. Her touch helped. He wanted to tug her into a real embrace, but he wasn’t certain she’d accept it. He had no idea if she’d kept up a relationship with Seth after he’d walked out. There’d been no reason for the two of them to separate.

  But if that was the case, why had she called him? He ran his free hand through his bangs and forced his thoughts to stops.

  The bell dinged their arrival, and they were both moving the second the doors slid open. “Shit.” The curse was out before he thought to stop it. Standing guard before Seth’s door were two imposing men whom Tyler recognized as the other owners of The Den, Master Deklan and Master Jake.

  Allie slowed her step, and he paced his stride with hers. “Is he still here?” Her tightened grip around Tyler’s hand communicated her doubt.

  The other men straightened from where they leaned against the wall. Tyler remembered Deklan—the taller, muscled one with the military cut—from that shit night, the one that’d started everything. Jake was about Tyler’s height and build, with longer black hair that curled around his neck. Tyler had seen him around the club wh
en he’d been there as a guest.

  Deklan crossed his arms over his chest and spread his feet in a classic bouncer’s stance. He stared pointedly at their clasped hands before raising his gaze. “He’s not answering.”

  They stopped before him. Allie’s head barely cleared the larger man’s shoulders. She tipped her chin up and nailed Deklan with a steely glare to match the one he was giving them. “Then open the door.”

  Damn, she was hot. Her cheeks were flushed in the same way that they got when she was about to come. Her eyes had darkened to a rich coffee, and his fingers ached to release her curls from their tight clip. Seeing her so strong only reinforced how much she gave to them when she submitted.

  Jake’s low chuckle broke through the standoff. He pulled some keys from his pocket and turned toward Seth’s door. “He deserves you.”

  Tyler ignored the comment, but silently he questioned it. He certainly didn’t feel like he deserved Seth and Allie.

  The keys rattled as Jake unlocked the door but didn’t open it. He turned away and headed the short way across the hall to unlock another door. He propped it open and turned back around. “Good luck.”

  “Why didn’t you go in?” Tyler’s question stalled both men as they entered the other loft.

  Jake turned back, a smirk on his lips. “Thought you’d have better luck. He doesn’t need us right now.” That implied that Seth did need them.

  Jake closed the door, leaving Allie and Tyler alone in the hallway. The light from the big block-style warehouse window at the end of the hall filtered in to cast grid-patterned shadows down the hall. The faint scent of lemon that Tyler always caught at the club was present even up there.

  Allie turned to him. “You ready?”

  No. Yes. Did it matter? He reached around her to undo her hair clip. It sprang free to let her curls tumble forward in a careless heap. “Better be,” he said. He handed her the clip then ran his fingers through the silky ringlets. “Are you?”

  “No,” she answered before turning around and opening the door.

  He spotted Seth immediately, and the relief poured through him. They’d all been hoping he was there, but no one had said for certain that he was.

  Seth was sprawled on the couch, eyes closed, head and one arm resting along the back. His other hand cradled a half-full drink on his thigh and his bare feet were propped up on a small footstool. His hair was loose and draped his shoulders in a fall of golden-brown. There was no way he hadn’t heard them, but he didn’t move or acknowledge them in any way.

  The stillness was unsettling. The big windows provided the only light, which was shadowed this late in the afternoon. There was no music, no television, nothing to break the silence.

  Allie set her purse on the floor and slipped off her sandals. He followed her lead and toed off his tennis shoes. She raised her brow in question, and he took her hand once again. They had to do this. Together they moved toward Seth, who was still unresponsive on the couch. His chest rose and fell under his black polo in a consistent pattern, but Tyler was positive he wasn’t sleeping.

  They were all on new ground here. This might be where their little magical bubble world had existed, but everything between them was different now. So much had changed, yet some things were still the same.

  Like how Tyler’s stomach tightened when he looked at either one of them. Or how his mouth went dry when they were close to him. And how his chest constricted when he thought of leaving them. He didn’t want that to happen. Not again.

  Allie went around Seth’s legs and weaseled her way into the small space between the couch arm and Seth’s body. Seth grunted when she took the drink out his hand and set it on the side table. The sweat ring on his jeans indicated he’d been holding it for a while.

  Tyler sat down on the other side of Seth and glanced at Allie. She blinked rapidly a few times before shifting to wrap a leg over Seth’s and rest her head on his shoulder. She brushed her curls behind her ear then laid her hand on Seth’s chest.

  The movement was small, but Tyler caught the clenching of Seth’s fist where it rested in his lap. Watching them, their heads so close, Tyler thought for the thousandth time how good they looked together. But for the first time, he realized he’d look damn good with them too.

  He slid down and stretched out on his stomach to lay his head on Seth’s thigh. He inhaled and sucked in a long pull of spice and flowers that had his blood humming. Fuck, he’d missed this. This was his spot and he wanted it back, if that was even possible any more.

  They sat like that, curled around each other in silence until long shadows formed across the wall. The refrigerator kicked on and off, a truck slammed and rattled over the familiar pothole far below, and the whole time his neck itched for that palm that was missing.

  “What are you guys doing here?” Seth’s low question startled Tyler’s eyes open, but he still didn’t move.

  “Being with you,” Allie said.

  “Why?”

  Tyler rubbed Seth’s leg, his worn jeans soft under Tyler’s palms. “Why do you think?”

  “I don’t know.” Seth’s voice hitched then he cleared his throat. “I fucked up. Bad.”

  There was pain there, and an honest belief in what he said. Tyler ached for him. “I don’t think so.” Not now, at least.

  Seth gave a derisive grunt. “How can you say that? I fucked up everything with you. My arrogance and secrets fucked this whole thing up. Now the club’s fucked too.”

  Fingers stroked through Tyler’s hair, nails running over his scalp to send little chills over his head and down his neck. He recognized the touch as Allie’s. It was her way of showing support, an action she’d been doing since that very first time she’d seen him lying bruised and bloody on this very couch. He soaked it up, but he was still waiting for Seth’s touch.

  “Seems like a lot of fucking to me,” Tyler said. “But thanks to you, I haven’t been fucked by anyone in a long time.”

  That got the chuckle he was searching for. It was small, but a start, and a lot better than the cold silence.

  “How’re you doing?”

  Seth’s question was directed at him, had to be, and his answer was so critical. “Better.” He swallowed, taking the time to get the words right. “Done a lot of thinking. And I’ve been talking to that therapist. Getting past some of the shit my father dumped on me.”

  “Is that helping?” Allie asked. Her fingers continued their lazy caress through his hair.

  “Yeah.” It still kicked at his pride that he needed help like that, but that was all part of accepting help, period. He was getting there.

  Seth arched his back and shifted his hips, but he didn’t dislodge or push them away. “Have they left you alone?”

  “Yeah.” After two months of nothing, Tyler had stopped looking over his shoulder and jumping at every sound outside his door. He could finally believe that neither the agency nor the loan shark was coming after him. “Nothing from either of them.”

  “Good.” Seth sighed. “That’s good.”

  Tyler turned onto his back so he could stare up at Seth. It was a nice view he’d been unable to enjoy the last time he was there. He tugged Seth’s arm down from where it rested along the edge of the couch and laced their fingers together. He bit his cheek to absorb the wave of longing that passed through him. He’d really missed this, being a part of something. “Thank you, Seth.” He brought their clasped hands up and kissed the back of Seth’s. Damn. Just Damn. Maybe he shouldn’t have flipped over. “You too, Allie. I owe you both.” A lot.

  “Shit.”

  Seth pulled his hand away, and Tyler’s heart sank. He’d blown it. Thrown away his chance at the best thing in his life because of his stupid pride. No, he wasn’t giving up that easy. He sprung up and whipped around on his knees to face the man.

  Allie reared back, her eyes wide as he cupped Seth’s face and dove in to shove the curse down Seth’s throat. The kiss wasn’t gentle, and it sure as hell wasn’t coaxing. Fuck
Seth. He didn’t get to blow them off now. Not when they’d come back.

  Not when he needed them.

  Tyler forced his tongue through Seth’s lips to taste the heat and silk that was inside. Seth jerked his head to the side, but Tyler held tight. He wasn’t getting away, damn him. Tyler plundered and took. He sought out every corner of Seth’s mouth, the sharp tang of whiskey coating his taste buds. Their teeth clanged and still he pushed, sought, wanted more. It wasn’t enough. Would never be enough.

  Especially if he had to force it.

  His flash of temper fizzled that fast. He couldn’t take what wasn’t given. Another lesson driven home by Seth.

  Tyler stopped. Just like that. His mouth was still firmly on Seth’s, but he squeezed his eyes closed and didn’t move. His breath expelled in deep pants through his nose and he clocked every little thing around him. Seth’s hard exhales blowing hot over his cheek, the rough stubble of whiskers under his thumbs, the soft silk of hair through his fingers.

  Damn it.

  “Tyler.” Allie’s soft voice penetrated his stupor. She rubbed a hand over his shoulder, the move a comfort and a warning.

  A level of shame rolled down Tyler in a hot wave of embarrassment. He eased back, separating his sore lips from Seth’s. He forced his eyes open to stare down at Seth. Where was his Dom? Where was the man who had taken control and mastered Tyler with a kindness that had left him feeling both strong and cherished?

  Tyler searched the sunburst eyes, seeking what, he wasn’t sure. What he found pummeled his heart. Nothing. “Sorry.” He wished he could say more, that there was a word that would express the shit-stream of crap twisting his insides to hell.

  “For what?” Seth didn’t even blink when he asked the question.

  Everything. But that wasn’t good enough. “Shutting you out. Not trusting you.” He leaned back to rest on his heels. He withdrew from Seth and chanced a glance at Allie. She watched them, the concern clear in her eyes. “Both of you. I pushed you away.” He dropped his gaze to stare at his hands. His nails were blunt and clean, his palms too smooth to claim manual labor, but that’s what he’d been—a manual laborer. Only he’d used his whole body, not just his hands.