Kipp stood behind me, simmering with anger. His expression held so much rage, but beneath it, a world of hurt showed in the depths of his eyes. It snapped me out of my astonishment. I shoved Dane away with a hard push, but kept my focus on Kipp. “It’s not what you think.”
His gaze landed on Dane and if looks could kill, he’d be a ghost. “What I think is I came here because I wanted to be here for you when you arrived, and I find you kissing this mother fucker.”
My stomach clenched as if he’d punched me in the gut. “I didn’t…I don’t—”
He raised his hand and I froze. “Don’t fucking bother, Tess.” Sadness filled his gaze. All the anger faded away showing only a broken heart. “You didn’t pull away from him. What else do I need to see?” Pain seeped into his features. “I knew this was coming.”
I tried to keep up, but the world spun around me. I couldn’t get a hold on anything. I lurched forward, heaviness weighing me down, but I fought against it to get to him. “No, Kipp, wait…”
My words hit air as he vanished from sight. I blinked, scanned the busy airport, but he was gone. I gasped on a sob, my muscles unable to hold my weight, and I crumbled to my knees.
I had nothing to be guilty for, but my heart wouldn’t hear it. Sure, I’d seen Kipp’s anger before. Not like this. This didn’t feel as if we were about to have a fight.
It sounded like goodbye.
I replayed the scene in my mind knowing how it must have looked. The shock of Dane’s kiss held me frozen, which in turn did make it appear like I wanted Dane. Had Kipp really been worried that I wanted Dane? Apparently so. And from the way it looked, he was right.
But he was so entirely wrong.
“It’s for the best,” Dane said softly. “Now the connection of love is broken and I hope that’ll force him to cross over. I didn’t want to hurt you. But I’ve been doing this longer than you and I do know this is better for you and for the ghost.”
Sickness rolled through my stomach as I tried to get a grasp on what had just happened. Within one second, the world as I knew it had ended. Had Kipp crossed over like Dane had said?
He better not have.
The reality of that was so horrifying I couldn’t even accept it as a possibility. I lifted my head. “Did you know he’d come into the airport and that’s why you kissed me?”
Dane hesitated then finally said, “You can’t have a relationship with a ghost.” He bounced from foot-to-foot. “You’re new to this. And I’m saving you a huge heartbreak that in the end would only hurt you more.” My hands trembled, as I soaked in his words. “He needs to cross over, and if you loved him, he’d never want to leave. Always linger to stay with you. That’s not fair.”
I drew in a deep breath and said through gritted teeth, “Answer the question.”
Another pause. “Yes. I sensed his energy here.”
Rage made a nasty taste form in my mouth. I rose to my feet, sucked in a harsh breath and approached him. He appeared somewhat regretful with dark eyes, yet determined. “What you just did can never be forgiven, not by me.”
“Tess—”
I closed in on him and stood on my tippy toes. “You don’t know him. You don’t understand what that must have been like to see me kissing you since he’s wanted to do that same thing to me since we met.”
His powerful gaze did nothing to intimidate me and I continued, “You have no idea how much pain you’ve caused him. I never asked you to come here. Never asked you to figure my life out for me. Consider this a warning to stay the fuck away from me.” I brought my leg back and with all the power I could muster, I kneed him in the junk.
He dropped to the ground, groaning. Gasps filled the space around me as people in the airport watched Dane roll in agony.
What Dane hadn’t known was what he’d done was the gravest of all mistakes. Maybe for some, Kipp’s strong reaction would be brash. Not Kipp. Not when he had wanted to kiss me from the moment we met and the hard despair knowing that he never could.
I’d seen him lose it once when I kissed Zach—as a decoy, no less—and that was his partner. Someone he trusted and cared for. That heartache in his eyes proved that my kissing another man was the worst thing he could’ve ever seen.
And I could only hope he hadn’t done something stupid, or that Dane was wrong and the loss of connection between us wouldn’t force him to cross over.
The latter I couldn’t accept. No matter that I cared nothing for Dane. This wasn’t really about him. This was about Kipp’s anger at his situation and the reminder of what he was.
A ghost.
I just needed to find him and remind him I didn’t care.
Chapter Fifteen
The abandoned house looked exactly as it did the last time I’d been here. Deserted. I knew better. A man—demon—was trapped in that house. I glanced at the front door and the salt still lined the doorway, but there were also some medallions placed there too.
Two hours had passed since I started searching for Kipp, leading me to believe that Dane had come here and put that extra little bit of protection Gretchen had offered on the home.
I stood on the curb under the streetlight and studied the house. An unease that had nothing to do with Kipp filled me.
Soon, I’d have to go into that house and face the demon. Right now, I didn’t have to, and nothing pleased me more. My mind spun without this added trouble. I needed to get a grip on everything before I even considered dealing with the demon.
Right then, a shadow crossed by the window. The man appeared, peering out at me. I held my breath watching him, surprised to see a smile on his face, a cold hard smile that terrified me. He clearly wasn’t worried that we had trapped him.
If I were him I’d be frantically searching for a way out, but by all appearances he portrayed calmness, which unsettled me even more. Should I be worried? The little voice in my head told me I should.
I sighed, ignoring said voice, and pushed thoughts of the demon aside. I needed to focus on finding Kipp and straightening out the current mess before I landed myself into another one. I headed toward the back of the house, forgetting the swell of rising fear.
“Kipp,” I called, scanning the backyard.
I was greeted by darkness and silence. I continued striding around the house and by the time I returned to the front, the street remained empty.
The demon had stayed at the window staring out at me. The smile on his face never faded, as if he dared me to come in. Not that I cared, or thought of taking the bait. He couldn’t get out, and that’s all that mattered.
I spun around and strode toward my car.
My bright yellow Volkswagen bug waited by the curb. I’d only owned the car for two weeks now. Living in downtown Memphis I never needed a car, but with my new employment it became a necessity since I was sick of Zach being my taxi.
I got into the car and within a minute, I tore down the street. I’d searched everywhere I could think that Kipp might be. I even called Zach and Max to fill them in on what happened and dared to ask if they felt him around. Both said no. But Zach said he hadn’t felt any cold drafts. That was assurance enough for me that Kipp hadn’t been with them.
I tightened my hands on the steering wheel as guilt shook me to my bones. Maybe even anger, too. Kipp should have known better. Ghost or not, where was the trust?
Once I found him, he had to understand. Even if I still couldn’t believe all this had happened, or that he hadn’t found me to sort this out.
Dane’s kissing me was a low blow, but why couldn’t he see how crazy this was? That I loved only him. He just needed time to cool off, then he’d realize he was being silly, and would see past his rage.
I headed onto the main road racking my mind to think of any other place he could be. But time was wasting and I was tired. Nearing two thirty in the morning now, I needed to find the quickest way to find him.
That, I did have at my disposal.
Pushing my foot against the accelerator, I
sped down the dark streets.
Within a half an hour, I pulled into the Veterans Plaza. It was a last resort, but if anyone could find a ghost, it’d be another ghost.
Once in the parking lot, I cut the ignition and got out in a hurry. I jogged toward the group of ghosts I saw across the field, and even spotted the soldiers who had now returned. Some appeared surprised. Others looked relieved. Too bad I didn’t have good news for them yet.
Holly floated over, her feet hardly touching the ground, and her eyes wide with excitement. “Is it gone?”
“No,” I replied, cringing at the dismay that crossed her features. I quickly added, “But I promise it will be soon.”
“When?”
“Tomorrow night I have to do this weird ritual thing.” At her parted lips, I raised my hand. “Don’t ask. It’ll take too long to explain. But the next morning I can do what I have to do get rid of it. From what I’ve learned it doesn’t seem difficult, so I’m sure it’ll all go well.” I hope. “And by the way did you all know it’s a demon?”
“A demon?” Holly gasped.
“Yes, totally insane, but true.” I scanned the ghosts faces. “And I’m taking it from all your shocked expressions that you didn’t know.” After a round of nods, I continued, “Next time when you see an energy like it, that’s what it is, so you might want to mention that.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, considering me. “What’s the ritual?”
I sighed, understanding her questions, but wanting to get to my own. “It’s just added protection for me. But listen— “
The elderly gentleman asked, “You’ll be able to get rid of it, though?”
“I will, but I have something to ask— “
One of the soldier’s drifted over, his eyes soft and wondering, as he smiled at me. “You’ve come to help us.”
Irritation rose up. I didn’t have time for this. “I’ll come another night to help you, I swear by it. But I have something of my own going on and I can’t help you now.”
His gaze swam with sadness. “But we’ve waited—”
“Enough,” I shouted, unleashing all the frustration burning inside. “I can’t help you right now. I have my own problems, and for this one time, I’m being selfish.” I waved a dismissing hand. “So, all you soldiers back off and get away from me.”
In a blink, each one vanished. Even my own shock couldn’t be contained as I spotted Holly’s mouth drop open. I gulped, finally understanding that I had a power in me I hadn’t realized before. Had it really been that easy?
I eyed the worry on the faces around me. I needed to rectify that. “I’m sorry I had to go about it that way and I’m not going to do that to you, but I have more important matters. And it can’t wait. I need your help.”
Holly tilted her head. “You need our help?”
“I know how unbelievably strange that sounds,” I replied, exasperated. “But I’m at a loss right now and am running out of time. Have you seen the ghost I was with before?”
“No, I haven’t seen him.” She glanced over her shoulder to the others, who all shook their heads before she studied me with an inquisitive expression. “Why are you asking? Is he missing?”
I wished they had seen him, but nonetheless stayed determined. “I’ve spent hours trying to find him and he’s gone.” I stared intently at each ghost. “I need you to go and look for him. I take it you can do the same thing Kipp can and move around quickly?”
At Holly’s nod, I continued. “Okay, use that, please. All of you. Search Memphis for me and try to find him. If you do, tell him I need to talk to him immediately. And if he refuses, force him.”
Holly scanned the others again, they shared a tense look, then she zeroed in on me. “It shouldn’t be too hard to find him.”
“Really?” I blinked. “Not that I’m not glad to hear you say that.” Maybe even a little pissed at myself for not coming here sooner. I’d wasted so much time. “But I wasn’t expecting you to say it’d be easy.”
“We all have our own sense of energy. And I remember his energy, as I’m sure the others do.” Every head nodded, and Holly smiled. “You’ve been so good to us. We’ll help you.”
“Thank you,” I said on a low sigh. “Go quickly then. He was angry when he left and I need to talk to him before he does something stupid. Should I stay here?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll find you.”
As much as the knowledge that they could pinpoint my location wherever I was should have worried me, I was relieved to think Kipp could too. It also saddened me all the same because he hadn’t come to me yet. He had to realize at some point that this was insane.
He had to come back.
I pulled myself away from the pain clenching my heart and nodded at her. “Go then. Be as fast as you can.”
As my mouth shut, every ghost vanished from sight, and I forced the quiver of my chin to stop. They’d find him. I was sure of it.
Why then did my heart hurt so bad my stomach rolled with sickness? I gulped back the lump in my throat that begged to come out in a scream. Instead, I considered where else he might go. Just because they searched for him didn’t mean I’d stop.
I studied the grounds. None of the soldiers had returned only upping the level of my guilt. Once this was all straightened out, I’d return to help them. For once, I needed to be self-centered, and stuffed all my guilt into the pit of my stomach to deal with later.
With a last look around, I returned to my car, and gunned it down the road. There was one last place I thought he might be and I couldn’t waste the chance that maybe he was there.
My tortured thoughts stayed on Kipp as I made good time into the city. I drove like a bat out of hell down the street until I pulled up in front of the safe house Kipp had been shot at while working the Hannah Reid case.
The last place he’d been alive.
In a matter of seconds, I left the car and ran around the house only to arrive in the backyard where Kipp had died.
The cement on the ground still had the stain of his blood, but now it appeared much lighter than I remembered when we’d been here before.
I dropped to my knees and placed my hand on the patch. Before I hadn’t touched the spot, but remembered Kipp saying he experienced something when he was here. A connection to this very spot, as if he’d felt more alive here—odd, but true—and now I could understand what he meant.
Maybe with Gretchen’s teachings I believed more in energy so I was more tuned into it. But I realized whenever Kipp was around me, I always experienced a zing of energy like a warm embrace. Here, that same energy remained.
I closed my eyes, losing myself in the familiarity of Kipp. But then the tingle beneath my hand lessened, and I opened my eyes studying the spot.
The sensation was fading.
Then like a cold bucket of water splashed on my face, the feeling all together in a matter of a split second vanished.
The concrete was cold beneath my hand. Empty. That warm embrace that started the day I met Kipp was gone. I blinked away the tears trying to understand, make sense out of this, and deal with the hollowness that filled me.
Where are you?
Right then, a scuffle came behind me, and my heart thudded.
Kipp?
Once I spun around, my hopes plummeted as Zach’s troubled gaze met mine. “I’ve been searching for you everywhere, but I thought you might come here.”
I forced myself to pull my hand away from the concrete and clutched my thighs, as gripping emotion settled deep into my chest. “He’s not here. He’s not anywhere.” My chin quivered. “Where is he, Zach?”
Zach knelt down next to me, and exhaled deeply. “I don’t know.” He peeked up at me through his eyelashes, and his blue eyes shone with compassion. “You haven’t seen him at all?”
I shook my head, tears dripping down my cheeks, and I did nothing to stop them. “Even worse, it feels like he’s gone.”
“Gone?”
I placed my hand aga
inst the pavement again, my suspicions confirmed by the coldness beneath my touch. “When we’d come here during the Reid investigation Kipp said he experienced something here.” I revealed the information that Kipp had kept secret. “I hadn’t known what he meant, but when I first came here and touched this spot, I understood. His presence was so strong here.”
He considered me as he clearly processed then said, “What did it feel like?”
I drew in a long deep breath and glanced to the cement. “Whenever Kipp is near me I have this weird sense of warmth around me. And not until now did I notice it. Maybe because he’s been with me all the time so I’d just gotten used to it. But with it gone, I recognized it the second I touched this spot.” My voice quivered. “Then, it faded.”
He examined me again until he finally said, “I’m trying to understand, but I’m totally lost. Are you saying that his energy was here?”
“That’s what Kipp thought. He said he had a big connection to this very spot. We didn’t know why. And I still don’t. But I felt the energy when I first came here.” I blinked away my tears. “Now I don’t.”
“Do you think that means—”
“I can’t believe that,” I interrupted, not wanting to even imply that Kipp was gone. “I have no idea what it means. But I can’t believe he’d leave me.”
Yet, as I said it, a real fear rose. Had Dane been right? Was Kipp staying only because of me and in the moment that he believed I didn’t love him, he had crossed over?
Zach rubbed his hand across his neck. “From what you’ve told me, I can understand why Kipp was so pissed. You know how he got when he saw you kiss me, and that was a trick.”
I nodded in agreement. Kipp was the jealous type. Maybe even more so as a ghost because he couldn’t physically touch me, and he desperately wanted to do exactly that.
Zach continued, “You said he’d been worried over Dane and I’m guessing that he’s just fuming right now. We both know Kipp has a temper.” He cupped my shoulder, squeezing tight. “But I know him. He wouldn’t go anywhere, Tess. He loves you. He might be ready to kill something right now, but he’d want to kill Dane, not you.” He smiled gently. “He’ll cool off and come to his senses.”
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